Authors: Dish Tillman
“Mm,” Zee said, scrunching up her face and rubbing her finger along the bottom of her nose. “Tickles.”
“Yeah. This doesn't, though,” he said, holding up the bourbon again. “More like scorches.”
She made a gagging face, then said, “Well, I'll leave it to you, then,” and finished off the champagne. She set down the cup, got to her feet, and said, “Thanks for the drink.”
He stood up and said, “No worries. Listen, I'm glad you were here tonight.”
“Aw. You're sweet to say so.”
“Not just for Lockwoodâ¦for all of us. You've been there since the beginning. Andâ¦and we really appreciate it. More than we can say, actually.”
She appeared pleased by this. She seemed to summon up her courage, then said, “In that case, can I have a hug before I go?”
“Sure,” he said, extending his arms, “though I warn you, I'm all sweaty.”
She made a clicking noise, dismissing this, and wrapped her arms around him and squeezed.
“Thanks, Shay Dayton,” she said in a low voice, “for
everything
.”
Then she took up her purse and turned to go.
And there was Pernita in the doorway.
Zee said, “Oh, hi. Nice to see you again,” and slipped by her down the stairs.
Shay smiled up at Pernita. “I think that's everybody,” he said. “Soon as I change my pants, we can go.”
But she was looking at him with such a thunderous expression that it stopped him in his tracks. What the hell was the matter now?
“You lying sack of shit,” she said.
He blinked. “What?” he said, dumbfounded. “No, really. I
do
have to change my pants. These are all damp.”
She glared at him with what looked like intense hatred. “Running around behind my back with thatâ¦that Haver City
slut
,” she said. “How long has
that
been going on? How long has she been following you on this tour? Hm? The entire time I've been gone?”
This was the last thing Shay had expected of this day, and it instantly obliterated his mood. Yes, he'd arrived. Yes, he'd achieved everything he'd ever wanted, and had done it in just a few short years. But
this
, he now realized, was the price: attachment to this woman and her unfathomable whims, jealousies, and rages.
“Are you talking about Zee?” he said, gesturing toward the stairs. “She's with Lockwood, for Christ's sake. Ask anyone. I mean it.”
Tears streamed down her face. “I can't believe anything you say. I can't trust anything you do. You've soâso completely
withheld
yourself from meâall this timeâand nowânow I know
why
⦔
She was actually at the point of bawling. Shay was absolutely gobsmacked. He had no idea where this was coming from. “
She's with Lockwood,”
he repeated more insistently. “What the
hell
has gotten into you, anyway?”
She lashed out at him and struck him hard across the face.
“You've been playing me for a fool,” she spat at him. “You and her
both
.” She choked back a gasp. “And after everything I've done for you.”
Shay stood there, reeling a bit from the slap, his face stinging. He recalled how a few months before, when Jonah had told him about his epic battles with the Wail, he'd wondered how he might react if Pernita ever dared to hit
him
. And he'd determined that he would simply turn on his heel and walk away forever.
Andâ¦he'd been right. That was exactly what he was going to do.
But there was something else he hadn't anticipatedâ¦something new.
When she'd slapped him, it was almost likeâ¦like she'd awakened him from some kind of dreamy half-consciousness. As if she'd broken a
spell
.
“Everything you've done for me?” he said now, in a very low, very feral voice. “I think you mean everything you've done
to
me.”
She laughed, and it was a terrible, acid laugh. “Oh, easy to say so
now
. You know goddamn well you wouldn't be here without me. You'd be
nowhere
without me.”
“I
am
nowhere,” he said, realizingâwith astonishmentâthat it was true.
“You ungrateful shit!
Headlining
the Hollywood Palladium. That's something you can look down your nose at now? You're suddenly so big? Wellâ¦I can bring you down.”
“You can't bring me down any further than I already am,” he said, his head suddenly filled with lightâsuch clarifying, illuminating light. “You've manufactured me. You've chopped me up and stitched me back together like some kind of fucking Frankenstein monster. That's what I've become, you know. I'm your little pet project. Your
creature
.”
At that moment, Halbert Hasque came back into the room.
“Daddy,” she said, flinging herself into his arms. “He's hurt meâ¦he's hurt your little girl.” And she burst into racking sobs.
Halbert turned his saurian eyes on Shay, and Shay knew that whatever was coming, it wasn't going to be pleasant.
Shay was forced to go down and deliver the news himself. Halbert refused to lower himself.
He stood at the load-out door, where everyone was hanging with the crew and having a few drinks, smoking a few joints. “Hasque has dropped us,” he said.
Everyone laughed. Then, noticing the rigidity of his face, they stopped.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Trina said. “After tonight?”
“He says tonight's success wasn't big enough to measure against our behavioral issues.”
“That lousy fat fuck,” Trina said, rolling up her sleeves. “You dare me to make him repeat that?”
“No one's daring you to do anything, Trina,” said Baby morosely.
“The real blame is with me,” Shay said. “For some reason, Pernita just went apeshit on me. She's convinced I've been fucking around behind her back the whole tour.”
“Well, you pretty much have been,” said Jimmy with a sneer. “And we've warned you about it.”
He shook his head. “But, it's weird.” He looked to where Zee stood with Lockwood. “Seeing
you
was the thing that really triggered it.”
Zee's face drained of color. “Oh, no,” she said. “Oh, shit. I think I know why.”
“It doesn't matter,” he said, trying to reassure her. “We're better off without her.”
“Oh,
are
we?” Jimmy said, tossing a spent joint to the ground and stepping on it in a manner that suggested he wished it was Shay's head. “And how do you figure that?”
“She was too controlling. Hasque, too. We need to do things our way from now on.”
Lockwood sighed. “We can talk about this tomorrow. We're all wiped out. We can use a good night's sleep before we decide what comes next.”
Shay cleared his throat. “Yeah. About that.” They turned to look at him. “Uh, he's kicked me out of his house, too. I need a place to stay tonight.”
“You can bunk with me,” Trina said. “Gotta warn you. I snore.”
“And also,” Shay said, really wishing he could somehow evade having to mention this, “he's cutting bait as of tomorrow.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Jimmy asked.
“Meaning, after we check out of the hotel, we're on our own. He's not footing any of our bills anymore.”
“Then how the fuck do we get home?”
Shay stared at them, then took a deep breath and said, “Like Lockwood saysâ¦let's get some sleep before we try to figure that out.”
Shay went back up to the greenroom to grab his duffel bag. On his way down, he found Halbert Hasque at the bottom of the stairs.
“So long, sir,” he said, and he headed backstage, toward the load-out door.
“That's it?” Halbert said, opening his palms. “That's all you've got?” When Shay turned to face him, he continued: “You're not going to say how happy you are that you're now free to tell me exactly what you think of me? What a lousy, evil, hypocritical shit I am, and you hope I die soon, painfully like I deserve? None of that?”
Shay was alarmed to realize that Halbert had played this scene beforeâ¦and apparently actually
enjoyed
it.
“No, sir,” he said, adjusting his bag on his shoulder. “You've given us plenty of opportunities and invested a lot of time and money in us. As I see it, we owe you thanks. And respect. And apologies for having let you down.”
Halbert stared at him in disbelief.
Shay nodded his head, turned, and continued walking.
That's got to rattle him,
he thought.
Halbert Hasque now knows I'm a bigger man than he is.
Loni rang the buzzer a few times, but no one answered. So she took out her phone to send a textâ
I'm here, I'm right outside
âbut before she could do that, the door opened.
It was Mrs. Milliken, looking just as blankly uninterested from her leathery side and she did from her smooth one. It was like she'd last seen Loni yesterday, not nine months before.
Though, in point of fact, she'd never really
seen
Loni at all.
“Oh,” said the landlady. “I thought it was somebody.”
“Hello, Mrs. Milliken. It's me, Loni. Zee's friend? I'm back to stay with her for a few months. How nice to see you again.”
Mrs. Milliken stepped away from the door. “If it was somebody, I'd have had to speak to them about not losing their keys,” she said, and she drifted blithely back into the building.
Nice to know some things never change,
Loni thought, and she caught the door just before it closed again. She was maneuvering her suitcase through it when Zee suddenly appeared behind her, slightly out of breath and carrying a brown paper bag whose contents clinked when she moved. “Loni! Hi! Sorry I wasn't here. I just ran down to Ray's Liquors to get some wine to celebrate you moving back.”
“Oh, that's sweet,” Loni said, “but you should've let me do that.”
“Don't be silly. Here.” She skittered around the suitcase and held the door open so that Loni could push the behemoth into the vestibule. “Jesus, what have you got in there, a grand piano?”
“I bought some new clothes in California,” she said, pausing to catch her breath. “Shopping therapy.”
“How the hell did you ever get it here from the airport?” Zee asked as she let the door swing shut again.
“I tipped the cabdriver to carry it for me.”
“Jesus, Loni,” Zee said as she opened up the interior door. “Women who look like you don't need to
tip
guys to get them to carry their bags.”
Loni scoffed at the compliment and hauled the suitcase up the steps. “I could use one of those pulley systems the Egyptians had for building the pyramids,” she cracked, pausing halfway up to catch her breath and wipe the sweat from her brow.
“Pretty sure I'm out of those,” said Zee.