One Real Thing (16 page)

Holly was so easy. Quiet and submissive, but still making those delicious noises and opening up for Nick’s touches so eagerly.

“I want this so much,” Holly whispered.

“I want you.” Nick pushed one finger in slowly, so slowly, feeling Holly’s body draw him in deeper like it was begging for more. With his other hand, he stroked Holly’s saliva-slickened cock and rolled Holly’s balls over his fingers, playing. God, he wanted Holly so much, but he wanted to savor every moment of having him.

The sounds Holly made were incredible: sweet, naked, raw moans of pleasure at every touch. The way he moved, the way he was so yielding and the way he sounded made Nick feel like he was the center of Holly’s universe. Thick beads of precome rose at the tip of Holly’s cock, but Holly didn’t show any signs of losing control, just as promised.

“You’re so good,” Nick praised. He slid another finger in beside the first and fucked Holly with them. The way Holly opened up to him—physically and emotionally—was a rush that went straight through Nick and made him want to forget all about going slow.

“That,” Holly whispered, trembling slightly. “I want to be good for you.”

“I know,” Nick said. He could tell with everything Holly did. “You are. You will be.” He teased Holly with two fingers and then three, determined not to give in until Holly needed it.

Holly didn’t beg or make demands, but Nick could tell when he was reaching his limit. He planted his feet on the bed, hands groping and kneading the insides of his thighs, leaving prints on the pale skin. His cries got sharper, and his ass clenched around Nick’s fingers in waves.

That was close enough to begging for Nick. He’d long since hit the point where he was so hard he hurt. With his clean hand, he found the box of condoms and dumped it, then rolled one on. Only then did he ease his fingers out.

He didn’t bother asking if Holly was ready for him—he could see how ready Holly was—he just lined up and pushed in. Holly inhaled sharply, eyes wide, as though he were waking up to what was happening to him.

“Nick. Oh fuck, yes.” Holly reached for him with both hands, his body welcoming Nick inside. Holly was looking at him like Nick was the entire world, everything good. That was perfect.

Nick slid in, slid home, and held still for a moment, letting them both adjust to the feeling. For all the teasing and playing, Holly was so tight around him, like his body was trying to hold Nick there.

“You feel so good like this, Holly. So good.”

Nick couldn’t manage to take it slow. He pulled out almost all the way and then pushed in deep and fast, again and again, kneeling back enough that he could watch his cock sliding in and out of Holly’s body. God, of all the things he thought he’d never see or feel, this had been at the top of the list. Yet here he was. And it was amazing.
Holly
was amazing, the way he looked at Nick, the way he felt, the way he sounded.

Holly was quiet at first, breathless, but when Nick moved, he gasped with each thrust, gasps that turned into cries. He knotted his hands in the sheets, looking utterly overwhelmed. Between the cries came broken sobbing, pleasure and emotion woven together. Nick wanted to listen to Holly, but he couldn’t hold back his own moans.

“Holly. Oh God, Holly.”

Holly didn’t have any words for him, just one raw, wild cry after another. He shifted, but only to wrap his thighs around Nick’s waist, riding Nick nearly as much as Nick was fucking him. All the times Nick had walked in on him, Holly had never been this into sex. Nick had never seen him get fucked or give it all up to anyone like they owned him, but he was seeing it now, and the intensity was beautiful. Nick wasn’t going to last much longer, not with how Holly made him feel.

Wrapping his slick hand around Holly’s cock, he said, “I want you to come.” He couldn’t think of anything he wanted more than that right now, to see Holly’s face twisted with pleasure. Holly focused on Nick like he needed to make sure who it was.

“Nick…” he breathed, and then he went taut, his back arching. As incoherent as he had been all along, now he found words, now he begged and pleaded as he shot all over his chest, body shaking with it. “God, please. Please, don’t stop, please, don’t go. I need you, I need you, I need you. Fuck, Nick, please. Please, I’ll do anything, Nick, please.”

Oh God. It was everything Nick used to dream about hearing from Holly—and more. Nick knew all that need was real; he could see it in Holly’s face, hear it in Holly’s voice. He had to let go of Holly’s dick so he could brace himself on both hands.

Nick couldn’t keep himself in check anymore. Not after that. He fucked Holly hard, with deep, uneven thrusts as he finally came. Holly’s eyes were fixed on his face, so, so wide, like he wasn’t sure it was all real.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you so much. Only you.”

Hearing that wasn’t ever going to get old. When Nick finally came back down from the high of coming like that, he dipped his head and kissed Holly on the mouth.

“I love you too. I do.” It felt so right to say it.

“I know.” Holly’s voice was thick, and his eyes were too bright. He slid his arms around Nick’s shoulders and hung on. “After a while I got that you loved me, in your way. I just never thought you wanted me. And I didn’t blame you. But now—” he kissed Nick back softly, “—now I see.”

“I do.” Nick shifted, pulled out and slid up over Holly to kiss him more easily. He stripped off the spent condom and shoved it into the empty condom box. “So much. I always did. I just couldn’t show you.” He’d been too busy following his own set of rules, rules that had led him to put together a life that had fallen apart at the first sign of trouble. “But I can now.”

“I want you to.” Holly pushed his face under Nick’s jaw and hid in the curve of Nick’s neck. “I wanted you so much. Wanted you to be the one to have me like this.”

“I have you now.” Nick rolled them onto their sides, but he didn’t make Holly show his face. He just petted Holly’s hair, soothing him. “I have you, and I won’t let go.”

“I hardly know what to do,” Holly said quietly. “I just…My whole life…I don’t know what’s going to happen anymore. I never expected this.” Nick knew that feeling—both of those feelings—all too well.

“Neither did I. But I think, between the two of us, we can figure it out.” Nick didn’t want to let this go, didn’t want it to be a passing affair while he got back on his feet, and he knew Holly didn’t want that either. “You said I could have whatever I wanted, no strings attached.” Nick kissed Holly again and then pulled back so Holly could see his face. “What I want is strings. And I think you do too. You’re still wearing my ring.”

“I can’t take it off. It hurts too much, like I’m falling apart. From the minute I put it on,” Holly confessed. He closed his eyes and bumped his nose against Nick’s jaw. “Yes, I want strings. I want to be connected to you always. I felt like I was connected…I just had to keep living without that piece of me.”

“Not anymore.” Nick wrapped Holly in his arms and kissed his temple. “Keep the ring. Don’t take it off. I don’t want you to. I want to know it’s there. I want you to be mine.”

Holly hung on to him and took deep, unsteady breaths. “I am,” he said at last.

“I know.” Nick had always wanted Holly to need him, and now he could see that Holly always had, but it had been hidden beneath the surface. “Mine, and I’m going to keep you. I won’t let you go again, not without me.”

Holly sighed, slow and shaky. He slid his leg over Nick’s hips. “I want to stay here all day.” His voice was as uneven as his breathing, and so low, like he was confessing. But once he started talking, words kept pouring out.

“Days and days. Days of you touching me and watching me and taking me whenever you want me, all day and all night. I want your hands on me. I want to kiss your feet and sit at your knee, every minute. I want to lie around the house naked so you can see me, just me, every time you look. I want to take care of everything so you think of nothing but me and anything else that makes you happy. I want to be so totally yours that you forget there was ever a time I wasn’t with you. I want to learn everything you want and need so you don’t even have to speak, I’ll just know what to do by the way you breathe or glance or smile. It’s all I ever wanted.”

“Do you have any idea how incredible you are?” Nick could hardly believe he’d gotten so lucky. This was his second chance, and he was going to make the most of it. “I want you to know me like that. I want to be able to look at you every time I open my eyes. I want to touch every part of you to make you mine.” He wanted to start now.

“Touch me.” Holly snuggled closer. “I’ve been so lonely without you,” he added, his voice getting so ragged Nick could barely make out the words.

Nick ran his hands down Holly’s back and up again to tangle in Holly’s hair. “You don’t need to be lonely anymore.” And neither did Nick. “I’m right here. I’m here and you’re here, and whatever comes next, we’ll figure out how to make sure that part doesn’t change.”

Days passed that way, just Nick and Holly, the way it had been when Nick first brought Holly from L.A. This time, though, Holly was the one working while Nick dozed beside him. Nick had relaxed into the routine of it, of having Holly there with him all the time, when Holly paused as he was stepping out of the shower to say, “I need to go check on the promotion we’re starting at the store. Would you be okay with that?”

“Yes.” Nick kissed Holly, lightly, to reward him for asking. “You can go to work. I’ll see you when you’re finished.”

“Come on.” Holly leaned over and turned off the water. “Let me dry you off. Did you get enough to eat?”

“I’ll eat more in a bit,” Nick promised, pushing aside the curtain so they could step out.

“I’ll make sure there’s something there for you.” Holly wrapped a towel around Nick’s shoulders and took another to work his way up from Nick’s feet. He was careful and attentive, like always, and there were so many kisses.

When Nick’s feet were dry, Holly bent to kiss them. It was so unexpectedly, beautifully sexy, every time. Nick didn’t have any particular erotic ideas about his feet, but Holly’s kisses weren’t about Nick’s feet; they were about Holly’s surrender.

“You’re beautiful.”

“I’m glad you’re getting better.” Holly put his forehead on Nick’s feet and sighed, the long lines of tension in his back slowly easing. When he looked up, his face was suffused with adoration. He’d looked at Nick like that before, then pulled away and covered it up with teasing when Nick said something sharp. But now it was real.

“I was just…” Nick didn’t even know how to describe it, how to explain that there’d been nothing wrong with him except a lot of uncertainty and indecision. “I’m going to be fine. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything. I still can’t believe this is really happening.”

Nick picked up the towel off his shoulders and dried his hair. “Give it time.”

He intended to make sure they had a lot of it. He wasn’t ever letting this go, not if he could help it.

“I like the sound of that.” Holly apparently couldn’t resist giving Nick’s cock a nuzzle, moving on reluctantly. He did manage to get Nick dried off without going back to it. “Go on and lie down,” he said at last. “I’ll come give you a rubdown and tuck you in once I clean up here.”

Nick stole a kiss on his way out but left the bathroom and sprawled on his belly in bed. The bed seemed less like a lonely haven since Holly had joined him in it. Holly padded out, still naked, and came over to him with the massage oil in hand.

“I wish I could do more,” he said, settling on the edge of the bed. His warm, slick hands slid over Nick’s shoulders a moment later.

Nick couldn’t hold back a purr of pleasure. “You’re doing a lot, Holly.” More than he had any right to expect, more than he could’ve hoped for.

“You got fucked over, and I can’t fix it. I feel useless. Someone hurts the most important person in my life, I want to be able to do something about it.” In spite of how fierce he sounded, Holly’s hands were gentle.

“You are, Holly.” Nick turned his head so he could see Holly out of the corner of his eye. “You’re here with me. That’s what I need. Caroline, Max—they can wait.” Realizing his life was so damn fake had hurt more than Caroline leaving him.

“Okay. Tell me when you need more. It’s not just me being helpful. She took you away from me and then she hurt you.” Holly’s voice broke at that and he fell silent.

“You have me now,” Nick said to soothe him.

“I’ll start taking you for granted in about fifty years. Maybe longer.” Holly kissed Nick’s ass and nuzzled along his thighs. “I always regretted that I didn’t fight for you harder, but I didn’t want to lose you completely. I’m never making that mistake again. I’ll kick your ass if you think you’re going anywhere, ever again.” He bit Nick’s ass enough to sting.

Nick yelped and flinched, swatting at Holly with one hand. “Fucker. I haven’t gone anywhere.”

Holly laughed at him and kissed where he’d bitten, then growled and nuzzled where Nick’s thighs met his ass. His tongue flicked out to tease behind Nick’s balls.
Oh. Oh yeah.
Nick started to spread his legs, to let Holly in, but…

“Didn’t you need to go to work? If you’re good, you can do that when you get back.” Nick knew Holly would be good for him. In all kinds of ways. God, just the thought of Holly’s mouth on his skin like that was enough to send a flash of heat racing through him.

Holly whined and his cheek landed on one of Nick’s ass cheeks. Nick knew the exact expression Holly had on his face.
Mean ol’ Nick. Boo.
Nick had seen it many times back when Holly was in college, and then not for years.

“Promise?” Holly sounded sweetly hopeful.

Nick’s life had turned some kind of corner when he wasn’t looking, and it was all Holly’s fault. “If you’re good, yes.”

“I’ll be good.” Holly pressed more kisses to Nick’s ass and then sat up to keep rubbing massage oil into the small of Nick’s back. He sighed. “I love touching you. I always did. God, I feel like I’m eighteen. I want to have sex with you again. I can’t get enough.”

“As often as I can manage,” Nick promised, laughing. “I’m an old man, you know.” Older than Holly, at least. He’d felt ancient already at twenty-two, when Holly’d come along, barely eighteen and looking like pure sex.

“Mm. I’ll make you young again,” Holly said firmly. His strong hands worked out the last of the tension hiding in Nick’s muscles. “Lots of sleep. Lots to eat. We’ll go to the gym. Sex every day. Twice. Three times. I’ll take you dancing. Danner has a commercial to shoot in L.A. You can come with me if you want. Spend the days by the pool, catch up on your reading. I’ll take good care of you. We’ll go to dinner at the best restaurants with Dann and Julie and eat too much, then go back to our hotel room and make out and make love until we fall asleep. Then, whenever we want, we can deal with the rest of life.”

The rest of life. Nick didn’t want to think about that yet. But.

“I’d rather deal with it first,” he decided. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but he wanted to get it over with. “So I can get on with life and focus on you.”

“Okay.” Holly’s hands were firm on his legs, and they felt so good. “Do you want my help? Do you need a lawyer? I’ll do anything.”

“I’m not sure yet,” Nick admitted. He’d been avoiding thinking about it, so he wouldn’t have to face his failures any more than he already had. “I’m going to need to look into it. But if you have the time to stay in New York, I’d like you to be here.”

“I’ll stay. Dann and Julie understand.” Holly kissed the backs of his knees. “They know why I’m here.”

“Because my life fell apart and I completely failed to notice?” Nick asked. He couldn’t imagine what Holly had told his bosses, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to try.

“Because I love you.”

Oh. Yes, that was a good explanation. “I love you too. Thank you for coming to find me.”

“You came for me.”

“I couldn’t not.” Nick remembered the feeling of time standing still when he’d looked at those photos of Holly, the way he’d reserved plane tickets and a rental car without considering the consequences of what he was about to do. They’d been back in New York before he’d finally realized what he was doing.

“Just like I couldn’t stay away from you. I’m so lucky.” Holly lay down with him, tracing gentle loops on his back. “Your wedding was the worst day of my life. Literally. Couldn’t even bring myself to go get drunk or stoned the night before. I didn’t want to fuck it up for you. Caroline thought I was high, remember? I wasn’t. I just spent the twelve hours before crying until I puked and half dialing your cell phone number like a damn pussy. The one time I was dead sober, she kept giving me the evil eye. I should have gotten drunk and thrown up on her damn shoes. I should have called.”

Nick had wanted Holly to be best man, but Caroline had refused. He’d asked Rich instead, and Rich had said something about it being the only thing he agreed with Caroline about, that Nick should’ve known better than to torture Holly with that kind of request. At the time, Rich’s comment hadn’t made sense. Nick had been so convinced he knew what his relationship with Holly was, but he’d had it all wrong.

There were so many things he could’ve done differently. So many things either of them could’ve changed. There wasn’t anything either of them could do about it now, though.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Let it go. We can’t change the past.” Nick nuzzled against his lips. “We’re here now. And you’re going to go to work so I don’t get distracted and drag you back into bed with me.” A couple more kisses and then Nick added, “The sooner you get your work done, the sooner you can come back here and have your reward.”

“Right. I won’t forget.” Holly rolled out of bed and tugged the covers over Nick. “And you’re supposed to be sleeping.”

“I am.” Nick didn’t close his eyes, though. Holly was gorgeous, lean and golden, and he didn’t want to miss a chance to see any of it.

“Love you, Nicky.” Holly walked over to the closet to dress. He even pulled on a pair of briefs before his jeans. That wasn’t any fun. But he looked nearly as good dressed as he did naked. Then he cleaned up the breakfast dishes, casting glances at Nick every chance he got.

Eventually Nick’s exhaustion got the better of him, and he drifted off, lulled by the quiet sounds of Holly cleaning up.

***

Holly was ready to pull his hair out. He loved Danner, but Danner had the worst luck with hiring. Julie had hired Holly. Danner had hired the manager of the New York store. Off the street. He’d finished venting at Julie, who agreed to tell Danner to demote the witless skateboarder to where he could do the least damage, out front. He was still ready to pull his hair out, but he did feel better. His phone rang again, and he hoped it wasn’t Danner. It wasn’t. It was Rich.

“Yo, Rich.”

“Where are you?” Rich sounded…worried.

“Um…you mean what street?” Holly stopped and looked around.

“No. What city?”

“I’m in New York. Where are you?”

“Jersey. Are you…Did you find Nick?”

Oh shit.
“Um. Yeah. He’s doing a lot better now.”

“You know, you guys are going to give me a stroke or something,” Rick sputtered. “At least Nick gave me some fucking updates.”

“Well, he’s fine. Uh, I don’t think you want any other updates.” Holly felt his cheeks go hot. Pausing at a crosswalk, he bounced on his toes and tried not to squirm.

Silence. The light changed. Holly looked both ways before crossing—he’d learned his lesson—and then checked the phone to see if the call had dropped.

“Rich?”

“You…Damn it. You’re right, I don’t. Where did you find him, you fucker?”

“Actually, I’m not the…”

“Lalalalala!”

Holly laughed so hard a homeless man gave him a funny look. “Wimp. Same place I was staying.”

“Damn. I should have known. Well, I’m glad he’s okay. Anne says hi. And she says she’d like to see you guys sometime. She feels really bad about the whole thing with Caroline, and she’s worried about Nick.”

“I’ll let Nick know. Thanks for everything, Rich.”

“Yeah, well. Keep in touch. Ask Nick to email Anne if he’s okay with talking to her. She hasn’t heard from Caroline in a while. Guess Caroline didn’t like Anne’s honest opinion of things.”

“She wouldn’t like mine either,” Holly said with a grimace.

“She never did,” Rich said, snorting. “Well, now that I know where you two are, I can get back to work. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Be good, man.” Holly kind of missed Rich, and seeing Anne didn’t feel so daunting anymore. He’d have to convince Nick they should go see the other couple sometime soon.

“I will. I know you won’t, so just be careful.” Rich snorted again as he hung up.

Holly felt better. Lighter in every way, like gravity had let up and the sun was turned up a notch. He was going to go shopping for a few things for him and Nick, and then he was going home. To Nick.

When Holly got home, he was still walking on air. His arms were full of shopping and dinner, but he almost floated up the four flights of stairs to the apartment. He barely managed to juggle things enough to get a key out, but he didn’t want to wake Nick if he was still sleeping.

Didn’t want to wake Nick. That thought brought a rush of pure joy with it. The door closed behind him, and he toed off his shoes in the foyer.

“Nick?”

There was no answer, but when Holly stepped farther in, he could see the mail he’d left on the table had been sorted and dealt with. There was a stack of stamped envelopes beside a checkbook and pen and one last piece of mail left sitting out. Nick must’ve eaten too, because there were dishes in the sink. And Nick was sprawled across the bed, sound asleep.

Holly put the shopping on the table and then, quietly, put dinner in the oven to stay warm. He shed his clothes, folded them and put them on the arm of the love seat. How many times had he sneaked into Nick’s tiny apartment off campus? Had Caroline hardly ever been there because she’d known Holly would come creeping in anyway? The times she’d been there, of course, he hadn’t invaded Nick’s bed to cuddle against Nick’s will. No, he’d stayed up all night working on papers—regardless of how drunk or stoned he’d been—and fallen asleep on the floor or the couch.

Holly slipped into bed beside Nick, propping himself up on one elbow to watch him sleep. He’d never been happier.

Eventually Nick shifted and mumbled, waking slowly. He blinked blearily at Holly and then smiled.

“How long’ve you been back?”

“Few minutes. Dinner’s keeping warm in the oven. I see you’ve been busy.”

“Took care of the mail you’d sorted out, yeah.” Nick yawned and rubbed his face against the back of one arm. “So, were you good?”

“Yes. I was. I have to demote the store manager, but I was a good boy. No swearing, even.” Holly kissed Nick’s temple and then cheek and jaw and then down into the warm curve of his neck. “Rich called. He says Anne would love to see us sometime. She’s pretty worried about you, upset about the whole thing. Hasn’t spoken to Caroline in ages. Suppose she’s been dumped. Anyway, maybe we should have them over for dinner.” Under the covers, he stroked Nick’s back. Nick shifted under Holly’s touch, stretching and making purring sounds.