Read Once and For All: An American Valor Novel Online
Authors: Cheryl Etchison
Bree shook her head in disbelief. “You two were always competitive, but that’s taking it to a whole new level. Did he request Hunter? Is that how he ended up here?”
“It’s different for officers. Whereas there are a bunch of infantry spots, there’s only one battalion surgeon.” He smiled then. “I’m not sure how many asses he had to kiss to get in here when the other guy left, but I’d imagine he’d say the line was long and distinguished.”
“Does it bother you he’s here?”
He shrugged his shoulders, looking so very much like the boy she knew so long ago. “At first it did. But after our first deployment together, he told me he was proud of me, of the job I do. I think that’s what I was looking for the most when I left South Carolina. In Myrtle Beach I’ll forever be known as the screwup. Here I’m respected. Or at least I think so.” He peeled himself from off the fence and offered a hand. “Hate to cut this short, but I’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”
She slipped her palm in his, watched as his fingers tightened around hers. For a split second she thought he’d pull her in close, wrap his arm around her shoulders as they made their way to the car. But he didn’t. The space between them had narrowed, but there was still so much distance between them. And she knew she wasn’t the only one to feel it.
When they reached the Tahoe he opened the door and held her hand as she climbed in. The nighttime traffic crawled as they headed home and the last of the tourists left town. Laying her head back against the seat, she stared out the side window, the steady stream of headlights and taillights nothing but a blur as they passed. Then, without really thinking, she asked the question that had circled her brain for years.
“How long before you left Columbia did you enlist?”
She turned her head toward him, awaiting his answer. At first Danny only shook his head, his reluctance to answer obvious even in the dark. Finally came her answer. “Three weeks.”
He didn’t elaborate. Didn’t dance around the subject or make excuses. Just answered with straight-up honesty. Instantly, tears burned her eyes so she turned to look out the window once again, not wanting him to see if a tear or two happened to slip free.
Three weeks. For three long weeks he’d planned to leave her, not once hinting during those twenty-one days their lives would soon change forever.
Bree took a deep breath and discreetly swiped away a single tear from her cheek, the pain in her chest no different than it was ten years before.
D
ANNY SAT O
N
the edge of the loveseat, elbows on his knees, his head hanging. In less than a matter of hours, his brother’s prediction had come to fruition. He’d hurt Bree. Badly.
God, how he wanted her to rail on him. To yell and scream, even slam a door or two. Anything that would vent her frustrations and give him his just deserts all at the same time. Instead, she quietly slunk off to the bathroom like a poor abused dog only wanting love.
“Fucking idiot,” he whispered, his fist meeting his forehead with each word. Before his fist met his skull a third time, the warm touch of her hand stopped its progress.
Danny opened his eyes, her bare feet appearing in his line of vision first. He raised his head to look at her, all squeaky clean and fresh from the shower. The sun had kissed her cheeks over the past two days, giving her a healthy glow. She was so beautiful. So kind and loving. Far more than he ever deserved. At the very least he could give her the whole truth.
“I was driving around aimlessly one day,” he began. “Just trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do.”
Bree dropped hold of his hand and stepped back, placing herself just out of his reach. She stood with her arms crossed over her chest, protecting herself as best she could. “Go on,” she whispered.
He remembered that day just as clearly as if it had been yesterday. The crowds of people wandering campus as finals neared. The bright sun and cloudless sky of an early-arriving summer. Never in his life had he felt so lost. Not even after his mother had died because at least then he had his father and his brother. And Bree. But this time he wasn’t a little kid anymore and was far too old to have others cleaning up his messes.
“Student loans weren’t an option since I’d flunked out. And no way could I ask my dad to pay for school, not after what I’d done. Partying. Skipping class. I was more concerned with being the life of the party than a student. My first go at adulthood, of making my own decisions, and I royally screwed it all up. I stopped for gas at a corner convenience store and as I stood there pumping gas, I noticed a recruiting office across the street and thought ‘I can do that.’ It wasn’t anything I spent a lot of time thinking about.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “You just walked in a recruiting office out of the blue and signed up?”
“As crazy as it sounds, that’s exactly what I did. I walked in the front door with no plan and walked out a couple hours later with an 11B contract, not really knowing what the hell that meant. I didn’t have an Airborne option or a Ranger option. I just took what they had and by some small miracle lucked out later on with the rest.” Her head tilted to one side, those dark brown eyes studying him closely. She took a step closer to him, but remained just out of reach. “For three weeks I tried to find a way to tell you that I was leaving. And every time I planned to tell you, I chickened out. Part of me believed that if I told you I’d enlisted in the army, you’d ask me to stay. And if you’d asked me to stay, I wouldn’t have been able to say no. And I feared in the long run everything would get to be too much and we’d grow to resent each other.”
She moved closer now and he placed his hands on her hips, bringing her to stand between his knees so he could rest his forehead upon her belly. He heard her soft sigh and felt her body shift. Then, in his peripheral vision, he saw her hands hover over his shoulders, hesitating. Letting his head fall back, he looked up at her.
“That’s probably what would have happened.” She chewed on the inside of her lip, then, using her index finger, carefully stroked the furrow between his brows until his face relaxed and his scowl was gone. “We were eighteen and in love. And I was selfish. I just assumed that us being together would always be enough to make you happy. But if there is one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s that you can’t rely on someone else for your happiness.” Her gentle touch drifted from his face to his scalp, where she smoothed her hand over the short stubble on his head. His eyes drifted shut, relishing the feel of her touch. “I don’t want you to think I’m angry at you anymore.”
He opened his eyes and stared into those dark brown depths. “But you were.”
“Of course.” The corner of her mouth lifted in a smile that contradicted the sadness in her eyes. “I might have even hated you once.”
“But now?”
“Now?” She took a deep breath and exhaled like the weight of the world had lifted off her shoulders. “I can’t hate you. I was never very good at it even when I put all my effort into it. But remembering how things once were between us is still bittersweet. And thinking about what might have been, that’s what hurts.”
Danny wrapped his arms about her waist and hugged her close to him. He understood exactly what she was saying. Despite the army training him to not second-guess himself, to avoid contemplating what-if, to only act and react, he would forever second-guess his decision to not tell her he was leaving.
Her palm smoothed from his neck to his shoulder, her fingertips raking the length of his arm until finally reaching his hand. She clutched his fingers with hers and tugged on his hand.
“It’s time for bed.”
He opened his eyes and looked at the pillow and blanket he’d retrieved from the closet only moments earlier. With a gentle hand she lifted his chin so his eyes met hers and leaned over to press a tender kiss to his lips. She whispered against his mouth, “No more sleeping on the couch.”
Danny nodded and rose to his feet, following his wife to their bed.
“O
UR PARENTS WERE
very much against us dating because I’m Catholic and he’s Jewish.”
Bree smiled and took another sip of her sweet tea as Marie gave a dramatic retelling of how she and Ben first met.
“We snuck around. A lot. Climbing out bedroom windows. Climbing in bedroom windows.” Marie smiled wide. “We found out I was pregnant the summer after I graduated high school. So we packed the few belongings we had into his rusted-out Camaro and eloped without telling anyone. It was all very Romeo and Juliet. Without the buzzkill ending, of course.”
“Of course.”
Marie shook her head. “God help us if our children break half the rules that Ben and I did.”
They didn’t hesitate to laugh out loud, since they had the screened porch of the small Savannah café all to themselves. Marie had called only an hour earlier, wanting to take advantage of having a sitter for Hannah and finishing her client meeting earlier than expected. She suggested this place since it was off the beaten path. Meaning, the tourists hadn’t found it yet and they wouldn’t have to wait an hour for soup and a sandwich.
“When did things change for you and Danny?” Marie asked as the server placed their food in front of them.
“Which time?”
Marie stabbed at bits of her salad. “The very first time. You’ve known him your entire life, right? How did you suddenly go from childhood friends to boyfriend and girlfriend? Did he pass you a note in class? Check the box ‘yes’ or ‘no’?”
Bree smiled at the image Marie painted. And while she remembered her friends receiving similar notes in school, it just wasn’t Danny’s style. “No notes. It all happened in seventh grade, after Brady Miller asked me to the winter dance.”
“Oooh. Making Danny jealous way back in your middle school days, huh?”
“It wasn’t like that. He thought dances were stupid, but I wanted to go. About thirty minutes into the dance, I see him standing with a group of his friends and he’s just staring at us. Next thing I know he’s dancing with April Wentworth.”
“Bitch. I hate her already.” Marie waved her fork. “Continue.”
“Actually, she was a very sweet girl. I think she works for Doctors Without Borders or something like that now.”
“Ugh. A do-gooder. Even worse.”
“I went to the bathroom and when I came back, Brady was dancing with April. I didn’t know what to do and I couldn’t face my friends, so I stood far away from everyone else, trying to decide if I should wait to see what happened next or just go ahead and call my mom to come get me. Then Danny found me. He took me by the hand and led me into the middle of the dance floor.”
She could still remember how he placed his hands tentatively at her waist. How she rested her sweating palms on his shoulders. They swayed in place, unable to look at one another in the eye, much less speak. When the song ended, he took her by the hand and led her off the dance floor to a place far away from where their friends gathered. There, in a darkened corner of the gymnasium, Danny stole her first kiss.
“And then he kissed me.” Even all these years later, the memory caused Bree’s cheeks to heat. “We never talked about it, but from that point on we were together.”
Marie giggled softly and went about her lunch. “I gotta hand it to him. I knew Danny was smooth, I just never realized he was
that
smooth. And at such a young age.”
“Huh?”
“You said that April girl ended up with your date. Bobby. Billy—”
“Brady.”
“That’s it,” she said, flinging her fork from side to side. “Anyway, the do-gooder ends up with Brady. Danny gets you. Everyone goes home happy, right?” Marie raised both hands in the air. “He pulled off the switcheroo!”
They were still giggling when Marie’s cell phone rang and she excused herself to answer it, leaving Bree alone with her memories of a thirteen-year-old Danny. So hesitant. So sweet. Far different from the take-charge man he’d become. Which segued into thoughts of what he did to her last night. And then again before he left long before dawn this morning. She could still feel the burn of his stubble upon her skin. On her breasts and belly. Between her thighs. Especially between her thighs. He’d taken his sweet time, determined to be very,
very
thorough.
“Sorry about that,” Marie said, interrupting her thoughts. “It was Hannah’s sitter reminding me she has to leave in an hour.” She plopped back down into her seat, but instead of digging into her lunch, she watched Bree, studying her. Not unlike the first time they met and she had a million questions she was dying to ask. “I have to say something is different about you today.”
Bree shook her head. “Nope. Same old me.”
“There’s something.”
“Everything’s the same. Nothing has changed.” Bree cleared her throat and took a long drink of her tea. “The humidity must be really high today.” Using the square of linen, she fanned her face just the tiniest bit. She needed air. Desperately. And instead of hot soup for lunch, a big bowl of ice cream. With lots and lots of hot fudge and whipped cream. Which reminded her she needed to stop at the store on the way home since they’d used all of it over the weekend. Only not on ice cream.
“You slept with Danny!”
Bree’s head shot up to find Marie narrowing her eyes and pointing with a salad fork.
“What would make you say that?”
“You’re smiling at that bowl of tomato soup,” Marie said, laughing. “No one smiles at soup! And now you’re blushing!”
She didn’t need to look in a mirror to know that Marie told the truth as the heat of embarrassment intensified and burned through her. She probably looked like the beet on Marie’s plate.
“My, oh my. How things change. Three weeks ago you were polite and sweet and giving me the ‘Oh, he only married me so I could have insurance’ spiel. And now you’re wriggling around in your seat like your panties are on fire.” She leaned across the table in a conspiratorial manner. “So? How was it? And don’t you dare say ‘fine.’ ”
“But it was fine.”
“Liar!” Marie slammed the palm of her empty hand on the table. “The recollection of fine sex doesn’t make a girl squirm in place. It doesn’t give you that ‘I’ve had mind-blowing sex and multiple orgasms’ glow.”
Bree glanced to the door leading inside to make certain no one was eavesdropping. “Okay. It was hot. Scorching, even. It’s amazing we didn’t set the fire alarms off. Happy now?” Bree stirred her soup hoping it would cool. “But it’s no big deal. It’s just sex.”
Marie snorted. “And you believe this?”
“Why does it have to be something more? Michael and I were talking about this the other day. Sometimes lunch is just lunch and sex is just sex.”
“I have no doubt Michael believes that. But you?” Marie pointed at her using her salad fork. “You and Danny have a history. A very long one. And from what you’ve told me, at one time, the two of you loved each other. You can’t just forget it.”
“We are not in love.”
Marie arched a well-manicured eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”
“Absolutely. We have a deal. We’re just two consenting adults having sex.” Bree paused, no longer able to hold back the smile on her face. “Lots and lots of sex.”
G
OD, HE HATED
getting home this late.
Danny laughed to himself as he climbed the stairs to his apartment, thinking of all the other times before he didn’t give a damn what time he crawled home. But after the weekend they’d spent together and Bree’s little send-off this morning, he’d found himself almost counting down the minutes until he could get out of there. So it was only right karma bit him in the ass and one clusterfuck after another delayed his leaving.
When he walked into their darkened apartment, he thought for sure he’d find her sound asleep already. Instead, light streamed from the closet keeping the room from being plunged into total darkness, and he found Bree propped up against a stack of pillows, playing on her laptop.
“Hi,” she said, her voice soft and sweet. “Have you had dinner?”
“Not yet.”
He quickly undressed, leaving his clothes in a heap on the floor. Her eyes followed him as he rounded the bed and closed her laptop, taking it from her.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
He placed her laptop on top of the dresser and climbed onto the end of the bed. “Starving.” In one swift move, he grabbed both her ankles and tugged until she was flat on her back. A few seconds more and he’d divested her of her panties. “Don’t mind me. I’ll be done in a minute,” he said, nibbling and biting his way up her thighs. “All you need to do is lie there.”
Bree giggled and squirmed beneath him as he buried his face between her legs. She bent her knees, opening herself wider to him. But the moment her slender fingers clutched his head, he pulled away, purposely leaving her to dangle on the edge.
“You’re so mean,” she said breathlessly as he climbed up her body.
“Payback, baby,” he chuckled. Danny grabbed a foil packet from the nightstand but didn’t rush to open it. “Seems to me someone has a short memory.”
Only this morning, after thoroughly feasting upon her and bringing her to orgasm, did she give him a pat on the cheek, whisper her thanks and roll over, pretending to go back to sleep.
“I was just playing,” she whined.
“Mmm hmm.” He pushed up the soft cotton T-shirt she’d commandeered from his drawer, exposing her breasts.
“I’m sorry,” she begged.
He barely flicked one taut nipple with his tongue. “Sure you are. Now.”
“I made you brownies.”
Danny shifted to her other breast, this time blowing a gentle stream of air over the tip.
“With white icing.”
That got his attention. She’d made his favorite. He raised his head to look into her eyes.
Bree smiled a little Cheshire cat grin and wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingertips gently stroking the back of his head. “With sprinkles,” she whispered.
Danny shrugged. “Okay.”
Her laughter bounced off the walls as he licked and sucked and kissed her throat, her ear, only going silent when he finally covered her mouth with his. Within minutes he was buried deep inside her, savoring the tight warmth surrounding him until he reached the point he had to move.
He’d forgotten how much fun it was to have sex with Bree. Teasing and laughter combined with the hot glide of sweaty bodies and sweet taste of her mouth was nothing short of intoxicating.
All those times he mocked his friends for rushing home to their wives; if what they had was even half as good as what he and Bree shared, well, he got it now. And he wasn’t certain how he’d ever go back to living without her.
As they lay on their backs trying to catch their breath, Danny’s stomach growled, causing her to laugh.
“Dear God. We need to feed that thing.” Bree pushed up on one hand and pulled down her shirt. “Come on. There’s some leftovers in the fridge.”
After a quick pit stop in the bathroom, he pulled on his boxer briefs as he made his way to the kitchen. Danny stopped short at the end of the hall, his breath catching in his chest. What an image she made as she reached in the refrigerator, the hem of his T-shirt rising just enough to reveal the bottom swell of her bare ass.
And just like that he was hard again.
Bree shoved the refrigerator door closed with her elbow and piled an insane amount of food on the counter. As he considered spreading her out across their small dining table, his stomach grumbled a second time. Clearly, round two would have to wait.
“How was your day?” she asked, pulling a single plate from the cabinet.
“Good. Yours?”
“Good,” she answered. “I had lunch with Marie. She offered me a job.”
That took him by surprise. Mostly because Ben hadn’t said a thing about it. Of course, he probably didn’t have a clue. “Doing what?”
“Bookkeeping. Answering the phone.” She sliced his sandwich in half, garnished it with a pickle and handful of chips before handing it to him. “She’s really busy right now and needs an extra hand. I’d also watch Hannah while she meets with clients or goes to a job site.”
“Kind of overqualified for that, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. But I like Marie and it’ll get me out of the house. I wanted to talk to you first, though, before I give her an answer. Just to make sure you’d be okay with it.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he said around a mouthful of roast beef.
“I don’t know. Because she’s married to your best friend? You’ve already given me so much and maybe there are some things you want to keep separate.”
“Doesn’t bother me a bit.”
“You’re sure?”
Danny smiled. “Absolutely. Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
She took her time, waiting until she returned everything to the fridge and rinsed the knife she used before answering him. “It’ll be good to dip my toes in the water. A full-time job would likely be too much too soon.”
“Kind of a win-win for both of you, then.”
“Something like that.”
Having finished, he rinsed his plate and waited patiently as she uncovered the brownies. “I almost forgot. I’ve got something for you.” Danny rushed back into the bedroom and from the front pocket of his ACUs pulled out the folded piece of newspaper. He unfolded the picture taken the moment he bent her over his arm and kissed her during the St. Patrick’s Day parade. Using his fingertips, he carefully pressed the creases from it.
“I’d like to take credit for finding it, but really it was hanging in my locker when we came back from lunch. And of course, the guys loved giving me a ration of shit over it.”
“Oh, my God. I didn’t realize there was a photographer there.”
“Neither did I.” He moved next to her, so he could look at it again while he finished his brownie. “It’s a good-looking picture, though.”
“It almost looks like that old photo from Times Square at the end of World War II. Except for the bright red wig.”
“And the squid.”
Bree looked at him like he was nuts.
“It was a navy guy in the original photo,” he explained.
She shook her head and hung their picture on the refrigerator using a magnetic bottle opener. “I wonder if I can get an actual print of the picture.”