Authors: Isobel Lucas
“Me?” I shook my head, still surprised at how light it felt after Triniti chopped off all of my hair. My mom hadn’t even seen me, since I got home after she went to bed. She’d left for work before I got up. I wasn’t looking forward to this afternoon. She’d said over and over that she didn’t want public school to corrupt me. “You’re supposed to be the face of Devastation. Not me.”
“Honey, my face is so boring. I’m hot, but so are a million other girls. You,” she grabbed my chin, “are something special.”
I almost believed her, but I knew no matter how short my hair or how black my eyeliner, I was still the same girl underneath. “I don’t know…”
Triniti laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “It’ll hit you when you least expect it. Fame is a glorious thing, Raven!”
A hip jutted between us, followed by a broad shoulder and a handsome, darkly stubbled face. Impressive for a high school boy. “Excuse me.” He stuck a strong hand out toward me. “I’m Xavier. We haven’t met yet, but I’m fixing that oversight right now.”
I slipped my hand in his, steadying myself on his tight grip. I wasn’t used to attention, especially not from hot guys. “Hi.” A mouse could have said it louder.
Triniti shoved Xavier to the side. His hand jerked away from mine before I could grasp it harder. “Get out of here, loser. Raven’s not interested.”
My eyes grew bigger than the red and orange HBHS devil emblem painted on the wall behind us. Just yesterday she’d been telling me about all the guys I should date and now she was pushing them away?
Xavier held up his hands in the air, backing away as if he was actually concerned about Triniti’s opinion. “Just wanted to introduce myself. Chill, Triniti.”
“Get away from her. Now.” Triniti’s voice took on a sinister tone, one I’d never heard from her before.
Xavier winked at me. “Can’t you let the girl speak for herself?”
“No,” Triniti stepped between us, “not when I know what you want. Go away, Xavier. I mean it.”
He sauntered away, his ass, so perfectly snug in his jeans, bouncing up and down as if it were waving goodbye. I sighed. “What’s wrong with him?” She had to have some kind of explanation.
“Xavier and I used to date. He’s not right for you, trust me. He’d pretend like he loves you, like he thinks you’re the heaven and stars. Then when he realizes you’re not as perfect as you seem, he’ll dump you without a second thought.” Triniti reached up and rubbed the side of her neck. “He broke my heart in a million pieces, Raven. I thought he could save me. I was wrong.”
“Save you? From what?” I had to admit I was curious. The wistfulness in Triniti’s voice was unusual. Bubbly and bouncy were the best words to describe her. Regret and angst weren’t her thing.
“Nothing, it’s not important. Early high school drama and all. I’m so over it.” She wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let him screw you over too. He should have known better than to hit on you while I’m standing here. Asshole.” The light reignited in Triniti’s eyes as she relaxed.
“You’re right, he shouldn’t have,” a familiar voice said from behind us.
I froze under Triniti’s arm. Ian. Oh God, not now. I slowly turned, slipping out from underneath Triniti’s protective embrace.
“You two haven’t met,” Triniti said. “Ian, Raven. Raven, Ian. Now let’s get to class before the bell rings. Wouldn’t want to be late.”
“Since when do you care about being late, Triniti?” Ian asked.
I tried to stare into his eyes without being obvious. They looked normal. Not dilated. The blue part of his eyes didn’t glow like last night. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought he was a perfectly normal teen – one who didn’t indulge in drugs at a bar on teen night.
“I care now. We’re leaving.” Her fingers curled around my arm. She tugged me to the side, but for some reason I resisted. Triniti glared at me. “Come on, Raven. We need to go.”
“Let me go, Triniti.” For just a quick breath I thought she squeezed harder, but then her fingers loosened. I shook out my arm. “What do you need, Ian?”
“I just wanted to apologize to you for last night. I was…”
“Yeah, high, I know.”
He hung his head. “Don’t tell anyone that. If it gets around school that I was hanging out with you backstage…”
“You did what?” Triniti hissed under her breath. “Why didn’t you tell me? I told you to stay away from him!”
“He crept up on me,” I insisted. “He was totally whacked out on something. I don’t know what, but his eyes were glowing and when were making out -”
“You two hooked up?” Triniti’s shrill screech echoed through the halls. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at us.
The blush crept up my neck and onto my face. Ian’s cheeks must have matched mine.
“I was wasted,” Ian said, loud enough for everyone to hear. “I thought you were someone else.”
I didn’t have any air left in my chest. I felt like an empty paper bag, dry, discarded, and useless. So much for the new me.
Before I could gather up the impetus to walk away, Ian blurted out, “Best mistake I’ve ever made.” He tossed his arm around my shoulder, pulled me closer, and kissed me in front of everyone. The angels sang in my ears, drowning out the excited conversation from the other kids around us. His lips nibbled to my ears where he whispered, “I’m so glad you aren’t what I thought you were. Nothing in heaven, or hell, can stop me from wanting you.”
I wanted to feel that stomach flipping sensation I’d always dreamed about, but all I could focus on was one word.
What
he thought I was, not
who
? How come the first hot guy who wanted me was so bizarre? If he really did record sex with other girls, like Triniti said yesterday, maybe I should have run in the opposite direction.
I couldn’t. A sweet, spicy scent wrapped its tendrils around my body. It wasn’t the smell of a teen boy who’d bathed in cologne. It was visceral, organic. Ethereal. Something deep inside me agreed. I didn’t care what he was either. I wanted him too.
I sat in Ian’s Jag after school, my arms snaked around him, exploring every inch of his body with my fingertips. The windows were covered in ice from an early October frost, but quickly thawing out from the steam we were generating. He’d already attempted to unhook my bra more than once. I wasn’t ready for that, especially not in the school parking lot.
My lips peeled away from his, stinging and swollen. “I just met you. What are we doing?”
“What God intended humans to do,” he mumbled into my neck. He reached for my bra again, but I slapped his hand.
“God did not intend sex for horny teens hiding behind a thin layer of ice.” I reached up and swiped my finger across the window, leaving a smudge in its wake.
“We’re conserving our energy for the fight ahead. It takes a lot of muscle to scrape ice off the window.”
“What fight? You’re so weird.”
Ian sat back against the black leather seat, his chest heaving up and down. I wanted so bad to rip the North Face fleece off his body. Instead I clasped my hands in my lap.
“Praying?” he asked.
“Why is everything so biblical with you? Do you think you’re appealing to the side of me that spent all of my life in Catholic school? It’s not sexy and I refuse to play naughty Catholic schoolgirl with you.”
A smirk crept across his face. “You’ve been doing a pretty good job so far.” His hand snaked under my skirt and snapped the bottom edge of my underwear. Just the thought of his fingers so close to the part of me that screamed for him the most sent shivers up my spine.
“Do you always make out with girls you’ve just met?” Triniti had made it very clear to me after lunch that I was just playing right into Ian’s games. According to her, he’d screwed half the girls in school in the backseat of his car. We hadn’t made it back there yet, but the bench seat looked awfully comfortable.
“Actually, no, I don’t.” His face turned serious. “You’re the first.”
A snort slipped between my lips. “That’s not what Triniti said.”
“And you believe Triniti over me because?” Ian rested his hands on the steering wheel.
I picked at my nails. It was a bad habit, but it was something I always did when I was nervous, like a puppy that gnawed on everything just to assuage its anxiety. “Triniti’s my friend. Why would she lie?”
“Maybe it’s in her nature. So, no, I’ve never made out with any other girls in this car, or any other motor vehicle. I’ve never brought a girl back to my house. In fact, I’m still a virgin.”
The last one ripped the breath out of my chest like a vacuum on high. “But the videos?”
Ian laughed, slapping the steering wheel with one hand. “What videos?”
“The ones you take when the girls aren’t looking and you text them to your friends?” I had to admit, I felt a bit idiotic. I was accusing him of something I hadn’t even bothered to check out. God, I was such a freaking asshole.
“I think sex videos are kind of against the law. Besides, I promised my father I wouldn’t have sex. So, I won’t.”
“But you’re more than willing to try to take off my bra?” I raised an eyebrow, unsure how committed he was to his so-called promise.
“Do you know there are women all around the world every day who don’t wear bras? Maybe you should consider being one of them. And wearing a white t-shirt. A thin one.”
I rested my palm on his face. “Ian, you are crazy. And we just met. I’m sitting here in your car talking about bras and boobs…”
“I never said anything about boobs, but if you want to talk about them, I’m more than happy to.” His eyes dropped to my chest.
I snapped my fingers in front of his eyes, and then pointed to mine. “Up here.”
“All guys are horny, Raven. The virgins, even more so. The difference is that I’m not ripping off my pants for every girl who gets wet for me. I want something real and it’s hard meeting a girl in high school who’s natural, who acts like herself instead of some shadow of what she thinks is attractive to guys.”
“I’ve known you less than twenty-four hours. Why are we discussing this?” My heart pounded. Was it because he was everything I’d been hoping for? Or because he was telling me what I wanted to hear? What high school guy talked that, anyway?
Ian picked up my hand and kissed my palm. “I want you to know me. I think you’re special. I was hoping you’d think I’m special too.”
It was too much. It was everything I wanted to hear, but somehow I couldn’t believe what was right in front of me. Triniti told me he’d do this. She told me he sweet-talked girls into wanting him, and then he took advantage.
“I have to go, Ian.” I zipped up my coat. Grabbing the door handle, I turned back to him one more time. “This is too fast. If you really like me, then give me time, okay? Maybe we can go to a movie or out to eat. No making out, just getting to know each other.”
His eyes clouded over. This was it. He’d lose interest in me faster than a dog distracted by a squirrel.
“I’ve never felt this way before. There isn’t much time, Raven, but I’ll give you whatever space you need.”
“Time? Time for what?” Was he referring to graduation? It was still almost a year off.
“No, the end of the world. Satan’s coming back and he’s not going to be alone.”
Now I knew he was nuts. Or just totally desperate to get in my pants. Did girls really fall for end-of-the-world lines? “What the hell are you talking about? Are you one of those wackos who thinks the world is going to end before Christmas?”
He ran a hand over his short, blond hair. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you shouldn’t. It’s creepy.” Fleeing the car was the best idea, but there was still something pulling me to him. Clearly I needed to see a shrink.
He grabbed my hand. “There’s something I have to tell you.” I waited. He took a deep breath and swallowed. “I’m the son of God.”
“Jesus,” I said, not believing what I was hearing.
“No. Jesus is kind of like my older brother. Don’t bring him up. Anyway, I was sent to earth to stop the demon that’s supposed to start the fall of humanity. I thought you were it, but then when I kissed you last night I realized you had a soul. You aren’t the one I’m looking for.”
I tried to pull my hand out of his, but his grip was too tight.
“It was that moment when I knew you were the one I’d give everything up for. I’m made from intense, heavenly love. My soul is prepared to love everyone in the world. It’s the best way for me to stay focused on my task when I’d rather just chill out, playing video games. Yet when I kissed you Raven, when I felt your body against mine, I knew I’d give it all up for a short, human lifetime with you. I care more about you than anything else in this world.”
I sat still, stunned. They’d never taught me about this in Catholic school.
“Do you understand?” he asked, his grip on my hand still strong.
I nodded. His eyes lit up as a smile crossed his face. “Good,” he said as he let go of my hand.
“You’re a fucking psycho.” I opened the door and jumped out of his car, slamming it behind me. I sprinted into the woods next to the parking lot. Branches hit my face, but I kept going, afraid he was out there behind me. Either he was trying too hard to convince me to sleep with him or he was certifiably insane. So much for a casual make out session with a hot guy.