On Dry Land (Swimming Upstream #3) (22 page)

Chapter 41

Tyler

Crouched on his knees with a dustpan and brush, Tyler swept up his mess. It hadn’t been the smartest idea to put his fist through the wall, but at the time he couldn’t stop himself. After cleaning up, he washed his hands and poured himself a glass of icy water in an attempt to cool his raging temper. It wasn’t working. Nothing was. He was beyond pissed and angry.

After Ava had stormed out of the restaurant, Tyler had patiently waited for her to come back. When their meals arrived, he hoped she would too. For forty minutes Tyler sat at the table alone, feeling like a loser waiting and hoping as his anger built. He wasn’t angry at Ava. He had no right to be. He was the asshole in this situation and he knew it. That fact didn’t make it any easier to accept though. After tossing some cash on the table, not even bothering to wait for his change, Tyler got in his car and headed home. Checking his phone, Tyler prayed for a word from her. Even if it was just her bitching at him and telling him what an ass he’d been he would have been happy. Anything but silence. His phone hadn’t been silent. But it wasn’t Ava that was filling up his message bank.

Katie: WTF did you do now???

Jake: CALL ME!!!

Jake: Stop being a pussy!

If Tyler hadn’t already felt bad enough, their messages sank him. News obviously travelled fast and Ava was obviously more upset than he’d imagined if she’d already gone running to his sister and one of his best mates.

“Fuck it!” he swore, running his hands through his hair before replying to Katie. She was the safer option out of the two. With Jake, there was always the chance he’d show up just to punch him in the face, not that he didn’t deserve it, but right now, he couldn’t deal.

Tyler: Ava called??”

Katie: What??

Tyler: How’d you find out?

Katie didn’t reply with words. Instead she sent him a link to Twitter. Nervously, Tyler opened the link and waited for it to load, chewing on his nonexistent fingernails. Then there it was. Photos, comments, and a story about Ava. Tyler felt sick. Even though the images were dark and grainy, he knew what he was looking at.

“What is this?” Tyler boomed down the phone.

“I have no idea. That’s why I was asking you, Tyler. Is she okay?” Katie’s worried tone sent Tyler’s heartbeat sky rocketing.

“I…I…don’t know…” The admission tasted like acid on his tongue.

“What do you mean, you don’t know? What the fuck is going on, Tyler?”

Tyler told her everything. From his proposal to move in together right through to confessing to the dumb, hurtful things he’d said, Ava’s reaction, and his greatest fears.

“You really are such a boy sometimes, Tyler. Do you know how many pregnancy tests I’ve had in the past?”

“What! I didn’t know you were even trying!”

“We’re not! What I’m trying to tell you, little brother is, any time a woman is sick or something’s not quite right, that’s one of the first things they test for. It’s has the most symptoms and is the easiest to rule out. Also, it’s the one that dictates what else they can do. If you’re pregnant, you can’t take a bunch of pills and hope you get better. So they always test for that.”

“Shit!”

“Yeah, shit!”

Katie’s words floored him. It made sense. Of course it did. The problem was, in the heat of the moment, in the moment when it mattered, Tyler had failed. Spectacularly.

“Tyler, I’m your sister, so I’m going to put it out there…would it be really such a bad thing if Ava was pregnant?”

Dropping the phone, Tyler threw up everything that was in his stomach into the kitchen sink. He could hear Katie calling out to him from his abandoned phone but he couldn’t pick it up. He couldn’t talk to her right now. Splashing his face, Tyler rinsed his mouth before sliding down against the counter ’til he was splayed out on the tiles, his legs stretched out in front of him.

“Tyler!”

With shaky fingers, Tyler picked up his phone and pressed it to his ear. “I’m here.”

“Fuck! Are you all right? Seriously. I didn’t mean to freak you out, I just thought I should ask. Someone should. I mean, have you even considered it? Especially since—”

“I know, Katie. Fuck me, I know.” Clenching his jaw, Tyler felt the frustration consume his body. He was vibrating. “I have thought about it, more than I want to. I can’t stop thinking about it. You and I both know I can’t…so it can’t be mine.” The urge to vomit again came like a tidal wave. Jumping to his feet, Tyler bent over the counter and hung his head in the sink.

“You’re an idiot, Tyler, and you don’t deserve her,” Katie said sadly before Tyler heard the dial tone.

Pulling his head from the sink, Tyler yanked at his hair, irritating his scalp before taking his frustration out on the wall. Katie’s words haunted him as the tears streamed down his face. Ava hadn’t done a thing wrong. It was his own demons, his own insecurities, and his own fears that were destroying him from the inside out. And not just destroying him but destroying them. He needed those damn test results and he needed them yesterday. Had he have known the havoc he’d unleash on his own life, he would have found another way, a faster way to clear it all up.

Unable to stay still a moment longer, Tyler strode into his bedroom full of purpose and started tearing apart his wardrobe. If Ava was going to be moving in she needed more than a drawer or two. She needed half. After all, she already had his heart, what was half the closet?

With sweat pouring down his face and his shirt clinging to his chest, Tyler sighed. He should’ve done this months ago. His bedroom floor was buried under piles of clothes to be donated or tossed away when a relentless banging at his door started.

“I’m coming! I’m coming! Keep your pants on!’ he called out as he jumped over the piles and headed towards the door.

Slightly anxious of who was on the other side, Tyler cracked open the door only to be pushed backwards as Jake forced his way inside.

“Please tell me you’re not that fucking stupid, Tyler!” Jake spat as he made his presence felt.

Tyler stared at the man, barely recognising him. Jake’s face was flushed red, his tie askew, the sleeves of his white business shirt rolled up and his clenched fists hung at his side. But it was the menacing scowl that worried Tyler the most. Even though he had the height and weight advantage, he hoped it didn’t come to that. He wasn’t sure he’d win.

“Calm down, Jake,” Tyler tried. It was worth a shot.

“Don’t! Just don’t. Tyler, what the fuck did you do? I just picked her up off the street and basically carried her home. Where the hell were you? Why weren’t you the one she called?”

Each word was like a punch to his gut. Tyler knew he should have been the one there to catch her. It’s what he’d promised her. What he’d promised Jake. Hell, it was what he wanted the world to know. “Because I was the jackass she was running from.”

“I warned you—”

“I know you did. And if you want to punch me in the face right now, I’m not going to stop you. I fucking deserve it.”

Tyler watched as his words sunk in and Jake deflated. Gone instantly was the bravado and ferocity, only to be replaced with pity. Jake slumped onto the nearest barstool. “Got any beer?”

Raising a quizzical eyebrow, Tyler opened the fridge and pulled out two bottles. “Aren’t you working this afternoon?”

“Not anymore,” Jake deadpanned as he flipped the cap off and gulping down a long swig. “You’re joining me?”

“After the morning I’ve had…hell yeah.”

Flopping onto the other barstool they sat in silence as they sipped their beer. Too agitated to sit still, Tyler began peeling the label from the bottle only to swear under his breath when it ripped into tiny pieces of confetti.

When Jake finished his beer, he pushed the bottle away before turning to Tyler, “What a fucking mess. You should see the fucking lump on her head. Stupid woman wouldn’t even let me take her to the hospital to get it checked.”

“What!” Tyler jumped up so unexpectedly that he knocked his half-finished beer across the counter and sent the stool clattering to the floor.

Tyler watched as Jake assessed him. “You really don’t know what happened, do you? Fuck, Tyler! I thought you did. Ava passed out in the middle of the crowded street.” Tyler could hear his teeth grinding and the blood roaring through his body. “She’s okay.”

“You don’t know that,” Tyler spat aggressively as he started pacing.

“Yeah, Tyler, I do. She called me so I went and got her and took her home. She’s got some scrapes and bruises and an egg on her head the size of a golf ball, but she’s fine. She was getting in the shower when I left.”

“I should be there.”

“Then why aren’t you?”

Noticing the hole in the wall, Tyler had the compulsion to give it a twin. Jake was provoking him, deliberately or not, he was asking the exact same questions that Tyler was asking himself. Questions he didn’t have answers for. Or maybe, he had the answers but he wasn’t ready to admit it.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what, Tyler? Seriously, man, I told you from the start, from the first moment you chose to go there. I warned you not to hurt her. I told you she might look tough but it was bullshit. I told you to tread carefully. But come on, man, this is seriously fucked up. That girl has been through hell time and time again and you’re the one person who’s supposed to be making it easier for her. Making her smile. Holding her hand when shit gets rough. Scooping her up off the concrete pavement when she passes out. But you’re not. Where the fuck are you when she needs you?”

Tyler opened his mouth to reply but the words choked him. Coughing loudly, he pressed his hand to the centre of his chest and tried to get his wild breathing back under control. Jake had just managed, in one dramatic speech to press every single one of his buttons.

Jake moved towards the door. “Nice work, Tyler.” He nodded towards the gaping hole in the gyprock. “You can’t keep doing this to her. You either need to lock this shit down or let her go once and for all. Don’t keep jerking her around. I’m not sure how much more she can take, honestly.”

Jake walked out without looking back. Tyler stood, staring at the back of the door. Hearing what Jake had to say had hurt more than a punch to the face would have. Every word he’d said was dead on. Now Tyler had to choose. Jake made it seem like there was a decision that needed to be made, like something he hadn’t already considered. But Tyler knew it was easy. He’d already made the call. All he had left to do was tell Ava.

Chapter 42

Ava

Ava woke the next morning a woman with a mission. After twenty minutes in the bathroom, she’d cleaned up, thrown up, and was ready for work. She’d had enough of this crap happening to her, Ava was going to take life by the balls and fight for what she wanted. It started with finding a fantastic new apartment to live in.

Jumping in her car, she zoomed through the streets and before she knew it she was at her desk working her way through the mountain of emails she’d missed over the previous days. It was part of the reason she hated sick days. It just didn’t seem to be worth it. One day off meant four days of pain when she got back. With renewed energy and determination, Ava started punching out replies.

Almost an hour later the people started to trickle in, interrupting her from the roll she was on. After the obligatory, ‘how are yous’ Ava was able to refocus and keep pushing through. With heavy fingers and an even heavier heart, Ava typed an email to a friend working in the property management department asking for help. She needed to find somewhere to live. After listing her requirements and begging, Ava hit send at the same moment reality hit her.

Although she’d been hesitant to move into Tyler’s picture perfect apartment, Ava couldn’t help but to feel a little disappointed. If not a lot. It would have been a step forward in their relationship. A step in the direction Ava hoped for, but it wasn’t to be. There was no point crying over that now. Now, she just had to get on with things and make a life. Her life. A life without Tyler Andrews.

“You look like you’re thinking hard,” Amanda suggested, pushing aside the pile of papers on the corner of Ava’s desk before perching her bum there.

“Yeah.”

“Need an aspirin?”

“Why?”

“For all that thinking. It’s got to be giving you a headache.”

“Gee thanks.”

“Anytime. Now, wanna tell me what’s up?”

“Not really.”

“Okay then. Anything I can do to help?”

“Help?”

“With what you’re thinking so hard about?”

Shaking her head sadly, Ava knew this problem was hers and hers alone. She needed time and space to figure it out. No one could do that for her, no matter how much she wanted them to. “Thanks, but I’ll figure it out. Eventually.”

“You let me know then?”

“Absolutely,” Ava lied. The less people who knew what a complete and utter disaster her life was, the better.

Amanda made to move out the door, but at the last minute Ava summoned her back. “Amanda! Can you do something for me?”

“Sure. What do you need?”

Gulping, Ava didn’t want to admit it but she couldn’t do everything herself. “Can you call that storage place that sells packing boxes and order me some?”

“Packing boxes?”

“Yeah. Twenty should do it.”

“Okay but…Ava, are you moving?”

“Yeah. I am.”

As Amanda bounced away, happier than a pig in mud, Ava heard her sing, “Ava’s moving in with Tyler! And it’s about time.”

Ava hung her head. She hadn’t lied, but she hadn’t exactly told the truth either. It seemed like Amanda had more invested in this failing relationship than Ava had, yet she wasn’t entirely sure it was even possible. Ava felt like she’d given it everything she had. Given Tyler everything she had. Gambled the lot and lost.

Immersing herself back in her work, Ava typed and returned calls and signed off paperwork as efficiently as possible. Even though she’d been away she had to leave on time. Somehow she’d managed to snag the last open appointment to get her blood work done. Tyler might be too afraid of the answers, but Ava wasn’t. She needed to know. And she needed to know now. The longer it went on the longer the more Ava was inclined to believe it wasn’t just her life this would affect.

Working through lunch, Ava scarfed down a few stale crackers she’d found in her drawer and felt slightly better. The fogginess that enveloped her brain lifted, if only for a moment. But a moment was all she needed.

Ava: I’m okay. No need to worry.

Ava sent the text to Katie. Even since her embarrassing and extremely well documented fall, Katie had been texting and calling her non-stop. Her brother may have been being a grade-A douche right now, but Katie had stepped up and into the role he’d willingly vacated. It took barely thirty seconds before Katie predictably replied.

Katie: BS!

Katie: WTF happened anyway?

Ava: He didn’t tell you???

Ava couldn’t bring herself to say his name. Every time she heard it, every time she saw it, hell, every time she closed her eyes and saw him it hurt all over again. Agonising, gut wrenching pain consumed her and right now she didn’t have the time nor the energy to deal with it.

Katie: No??? Should he have???

Ava: Best to ask your brother.

Katie: It was bad, wasn’t it?

Ava didn’t want to drop Tyler in the shit with his sister. God knows she’d seen more than once how that turned out, but she wasn’t about to lie to protect him either. Besides, Katie would find out the truth eventually. She always did.

Ava: It wasn’t good.

Turning off her phone, she dropped it back in her oversized, overfilled bag and tried to focus her attention on the problems in front of her. They weren’t making sense. Usually Ava could untangle the problems without her temper intervening, but today it just wasn’t co-operating. Getting up, Ava grabbed the empty water bottle from her desk and shuffled to the kitchen to refill.

“How’s the head?” a deep voice asked, causing Ava to spin around, sloshing water all down the front of her red top.

“Shit!” she grumbled as she tried to dry the spill with the nearest tea towel, which only managed to spread problem and make it worse. “Head’s fine!”

“You sure? That looks like a decent size bump you’ve got happening.”

Ava looked up with a look to kill. She was tired of being told what to do and when to do it. She was tired of being judged. Of not being good enough. Of not being enough. She hated feeling like less, but no matter what happened or what was said, she couldn’t get past it. It had been that way her whole life. It didn’t matter how many times she’d tried to be something else, someone else, in the end she was nothing more than Ava. Dorky, clumsy, sad, lonely Ava. The only person who’d ever made her feel like more was now gone. All that was left was the empty shell. Even that was proving a bloody big challenge to keep together.

“It’s fine,” Ava snarled, reaching up to touch the lump with tentative fingers. The truth was it still hurt like a bitch. The headache had subsided to a dull throbbing, but was still hanging around.

“Okay, okay. Don’t shoot the messenger.” Michael chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Sorry…”

“Don’t even worry about it.” Ava opened her mouth to reply, but Michael silenced her with a wave of his hand. “It’s fine, Ava. You know where I am if you ever need to talk.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

Feeling worse than she had before, Ava shuffled back to her desk and forced herself to focus on the task at hand. The sooner this ridiculous, torturous day ended, the better it would be for everyone. Especially her.

As soon as the clock struck five, Ava took off without even pausing to wave bye. She had places to go and people to see. Tearing through traffic, she barely noticed as she cut people off changing lanes and skidded into the vacant spot outside the pathology clinic. Ten minutes and thirteen vials of blood later, Ava wobbled back to her car. The moment she slumped in her seat she regretted not looking after herself better. She should have eaten something. Anything. Now she was suffering the consequences. She was dizzy, lightheaded, and more exhausted than she even knew to be possible. Pushing it aside, Ava fired up the engine, spun the tyres on the gravel, and took off in a cloud of dust. She didn’t have the luxury or the time to fall apart today.

Falling through the front door, her armful of boxes went flying across the room. Two loads later and she had everything she needed to pack her life into boxes. Collapsing into the sofa, Ava stuffed the take away burger and chips down her throat, regretting her choice with every bite.

“I’ve got it!” Ava squealed leaping from the couch, sending cold fries scattering across the floor.