On Dry Land (Swimming Upstream #3) (13 page)

Chapter 22

Ava

For a long time Ava just sat, staring at the door. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted Tyler to come back, wearing a smile and carrying the mother of all apologies or if she was relieved to have a moment to herself. Beneath her breast, Ava knew her heart was broken and she’d expected tears, but they never came. She was devastated. Numb. Not knowing what she could do, Ava just sat on the sofa, a montage of moments replaying through her head. Even though it hurt like a bitch Ava knew she wouldn’t take back a minute of the time they’d spent together. Tyler Andrews was the dream. Her dream. And for a moment, she’d been lucky enough to live the dream. Even if it was only for a brief moment in time, it was more than she’d ever imagined possible.

With sunlight streaming in the small square window, Ava sat up and stretched her aching body. At some point through her heart destroying, nostalgic trip down memory lane she’d fallen into a dreamless sleep on the sofa and was now suffering the consequences; a crick in her neck, pins and needles in her arm, and an overwhelming exhaustion she couldn’t describe.

“Shit!” she swore as she stumbled to her feet, only to be overcome with dizziness, causing black spots to dance in her vision. As quickly as she stood, she fell back into her seat.

For a few moments Ava just sat there concentrating on her breathing in an attempt to get her dizziness under control. Sea sick would have been the best description for what she was battling; the pounding headache, the nausea, and the general crushing feeling of blah. It took a while before she was game enough to try to move again. With one hand draped protectively across her stomach, Ava shuffled towards her kitchen and filled a glass with orange juice before sliding down the cupboards onto the cool tiled floor. After a few gulps, Ava started to once again feel human.

After brushing her teeth and a hot shower, Ava was almost back. Everything still hurt. Not from the night on the sofa either, but from Tyler’s words, which she couldn’t escape. Ava wasn’t naïve enough to believe there was anything she could do about them no matter how much she wanted. One glance at the clock on the wall was all it took for reality to kick in and the realisation that Tyler was probably already on a flight halfway around the world. Running. Away from her. All that was left for Ava to do was wonder what she’d done wrong.

Pulling on her pyjamas, Ava couldn’t care that it was eleven in the morning. Time didn’t matter anymore. Nothing did. So Ava did the only thing she could think of. Switching on her laptop, Ava grabbed a bottle of water, dropped into her computer chair, and struck the keys ferociously.

A knock at the door broke Ava’s focus and as she pushed back on her chair, the wheels collected the edge of the rug, sending her tumbling to the floor.

“Fuck me!” Ava growled as she rolled onto her hands and knees.

“Ava! Fuck, Ava! Are you okay?” the voice came through the door in the same moment that a key rattled in the lock.

Before Ava had a chance to explain, Amanda burst through the door, worry stamped all over her face. “Seriously, Ava…what the fuck?” Amanda gasped before exploding in a fit of laughter.

“Stop laughing, bitch, and help me up.”

Clutching her side, Amanda dropped her handbag on the floor, reached out, and took Ava’s outstretched hand before yanking her up. “What the fuck are you doing on the floor?” Amanda snickered as Ava wobbled to her feet. “And what the hell are you wearing?”

“Umm…”

“It’s okay. Take your time, princess. I can wait.”

“Shut it! I’m wearing pyjamas. Is that all right with you?”

“Absolutely…just one more question. Why?”

“Why what?” Ava huffed, exasperated.

Stalking into the kitchen, Amanda helped herself to a bottle of water and tossed one at Ava. “Why do you have your pyjamas on at three o’clock in the afternoon?”

“I…I…I’m not sure.” Unexpected tears blurred Ava’s vision and she discreetly wiped them away with the back of her hand.

“Go have a shower. By the looks of your hair I can’t be sure when the last time was you had one. Everything will look better once you’ve freshened up.” Amanda shrugged.

As Ava turned and headed down the hallway, she glanced back and watched Amanda moving about her tiny kitchen with confidence. She’d been there enough times to know where everything was kept and help herself. However it was the look on Amanda’s face that unbalanced Ava, causing her to trip over her own feet and crash into the wall. Ava knew Amanda had more she wanted to say and for the first time since they’d become friends she was holding it in. It was intriguing. She couldn’t remember a time when Amanda had bitten her tongue and held back. It was unsettling to try. Ava just couldn’t understand why now, of all the moments, she’d chosen to keep her mouth shut. Stepping into the bathroom, she glimpsed her reflection in the mirror and instantly recognised the problem. She looked like death. Like an empty shell of a person. Like someone had hollowed her out. Like there was nothing left. No life. No substance. No happiness. No light. Even Ava was caught off guard by how far she’d fallen.

In the shower Ava took her time. She brushed her teeth four times before she was satisfied that there wasn’t a furry forest growing there. She washed and conditioned her ratty hair, exfoliated her face, and shaved her legs, leaving a trail of bleeding cuts in her wake.

Wrapping herself in a towel, Ava risked another look in the mirror. The moment she did she regretted it. She looked washed out. Drained of color, well, except for the dark black circles under her eyes. Tipping her head upside down, Ava dried her hair roughly before piling it up with a gigantic alligator clip. No need to try, it was only Amanda. Slipping from the bathroom, she darted across the hall into her bedroom, slamming the door shut. After pulling on some stained grey sweat pants and a sweater that she’d stolen from Tyler, Ava knew she couldn’t hide for a moment longer. It was time to face the music. Amanda was waiting and she wouldn’t wait forever,

“Hi,” Ava sighed as she made her way back out to the kitchen and plopped down on one of the stools at the bench.

“Nope. Not going to do that. Instead, let’s try this. What the fuck happened?”

“Amanda…”

“Out with it. Now. And the truth, thanks.”

For ten minutes Ava spoke uninterrupted. She told her everything she knew and everything she didn’t.

“Okay I get all that, and let me just say that boy needs his butt kicked for such a chicken shit move, but the one thing I don’t understand is what happened. What happened to change his mind so dramatically? I mean come on…one day he’s on national television going all caveman telling the whole world you’re taken and then a few days later he’s boarding a plane to the other side of the world. Seriously, what the fuck?”

“Honestly? I have no idea,” Ava sighed, resting her head on the cool counter top. Her head was pounding and she didn’t want to have this conversation right now, if ever. For twenty-four hours all she’d done is replay Tyler’s words over and over and over again. Then she’d typed until her fingers cramped, then she typed some more. The moment she opened her mouth, her stomach chose to grumble rudely.

“Eat this,” Amanda instructed, leaving no room for argument as she pushed a bowl of thick, creamy chicken noodle soup in front of Ava.

“How’d you know?”

“Seriously?” Amanda huffed, offended. “I show up here, you look like shit, you stink, and now you appear wearing the biggest sweater you can find, which makes me think it’s not actually yours. Not to mention that sad, pathetic, someone-just-ran-over-my-puppy look plastered across your face. You forget, Ava, I know you. And the first thing you do when you’re falling apart is hole up in your crappy apartment, pretend the world doesn’t exist, and write until your fingers bleed.”

“They did not bleed!” Ava snapped defensively.

“Yet! Now shut up and eat your soup.”

Lifting the spoon with her trembling hand, Ava spilled the broth down her chin but managed to catch it before it dribbled on her chest. Forcing herself to concentrate on the task at hand, Ava ate greedily. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Amanda focused all her attention on the mobile phone in her hand. Before long it was going off like a bird on meth.

“Who is that?”

“No one.”

“Amanda…”

“Fine. It’s Katie.”

“Katie? As in Tyler’s sister?” Ava was shocked. Really shocked. A slight breeze could have knocked her on her ass had she not been sitting down.

“Ah ha.” Amanda’s confession sunk Ava. If it was at all possible for Ava to feel worse, then Amanda had just found a way.

“What…what’s she saying?” Ava recognised the indecision on Amanda’s face. She knew her friend well. Too well. “Come on, Amanda, just tell me. Please.”

“Ava I don’t think…”

“Then don’t. Just give me the damn phone!”

Amanda dropped her phone into Ava’s outstretched fingers. Nervously, Ava turned the phone over and saw the messages.

Amanda: Any idea what happened with Tyler & Ava???

Katie: Not really.

Amanda: Come on. He fled the country like his ass was on fire.

Katie: Yeah.

Amanda: I’m with Ava now.

Katie: &???

Amanda: She’s a DISASTER!!!

Katie: Shit!

Katie: I told him this would happen.

Amanda: WTF???

Katie: Just leave it for now.

Katie: & look after her.

Frustration bubbled up and swallowed Ava whole. Katie had inadvertently confirmed Ava’s worst fear. Something had happened but she had no idea what. Unable to restrain herself, Ava typed out her own reply.

Ava: Katie its Ava. Where is he???

There was a long pause and Ava was afraid Katie had disappeared. Or worse, she wasn’t going to give her any answers either. Like her brother.

Katie: Ava—Not sure. Just give him some space to get his head out of his ass.

Ava: Do you know what happened?

Ava: What I did wrong?

Katie: Nothing. Nothing at all. It’s all Tyler. He’s gone to training in Switzerland for a month. Give him time & talk to him when he gets home.

Ava’s heart sank. She’d already been worried she wasn’t enough and now her worst fears had been confirmed. Tyler had fled the country, leaving her standing alone with a broken heart.

Ava: OK.

Katie: Hang in there. It will all work out. I’m sure.

Katie: & if you need anything, I’m still here.

Ava: :(

Ava: But thanks.

The phone clattered to the bench closely followed by Ava’s long forgotten spoon.

After a few moments, Amanda stepped forward and scooped up her phone, locked the screen, and stuffed it into the back pocket of her jeans, scowling at it like it was offensive.

“Thanks for…everything. But I think I need some sleep. We’ve got work tomorrow.”

“Ava?”

“Don’t. Just don’t. Please,” Ava begged, tears balancing precariously on the edge of her eyelashes.

“Okay. Fine. I’ll leave it. For now.”

“Thanks.”

“Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning,” Amanda offered a sad, defeated smile as she pulled open the door. “Ava, can you do me one favor, though? Try to take care of yourself.”

Ava’s head quirked up. “What?”

“There’s no point in Tyler coming home, if you’re not here to come home to.”

“I’ll be fine,” Ava assured her with all the confidence she could muster.

With a sad sigh, Amanda murmured, “Night,” before she disappeared, leaving Ava alone in a hauntingly silent apartment.

Chapter 23

Tyler

Tyler dived into the icy cold water, determined to fight off the jet lag hanging heavily over his head. Every muscle in his body screamed in agony as he lapped up and down the lanes but he craved the burn. Physical pain was preferable to the emotional. At least if he burnt all his energy off he’d be too exhausted to even think about the mess he’d left behind.

By the time he’d arrived at the hotel he had a phone full of abusive texts from his sister. She’d called him everything under the sun and as much as he wanted to put her back in her place, he knew she was right. Every word. Instead of facing his problems, he’d run away with his tail between his legs. So, Tyler did what any other guy in his situation would. He’d switched it off and left it in his hotel room.

“You right there, son?” the old man asked as Tyler found his feet. His chest was heaving and he was sucking air in desperately.

Tyler didn’t have an answer. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say. But he felt like he was about to explode. Instead of taking his frustrations out on his temporary coach, he pushed off the wall and ducked his head under the water and forced his focus on the task at hand, hoping it would calm him. It didn’t. Not even a little.

Hours later Tyler collapsed on the lounge of his hotel room, drained of the will to live. After finishing up his pool session, Tyler had stuffed himself on fresh fruit salad, yoghurt, and muesli before taking a hike through the hills behind the hotel. He knew he needed a shower but he couldn’t summon the energy to crawl to the bathroom. Grabbing the phone from the table near his head, Tyler called and ordered himself room service.

For almost a week, this was Tyler’s sad routine. Every day the same. Swim, eat, hike, swim, room service, pass out, then repeat. Strangely, one day Tyler had the compulsion to rejoin the world. Unplugging his phone from beside the bed, Tyler clicked the message icon and noticed the barrage of unanswered messages.

Katie: What did you do?

Katie: You better be sure you know what you’re doing.

Katie: Tyler! Don’t be a shit. CALL ME!!!

Katie: OK I’m worried now. Are you ok?

Katie: ???

Tyler sighed heavily. He should have known Katie would be worried but she knew where he was. At least which country he was in. But it was the message from his mother that shook him.

Marie: Tyler Andrews. Don’t you dare ignore your mother. Where are you? Katie says you’re not returning her messages.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Tyler snorted as he scrambled off the sofa and grabbed himself a bottle of water. He didn’t want to call his mother. If anything it was the last thing he wanted to do. But Tyler wasn’t a complete moron. He knew the longer he avoided the inevitable, the harsher the repercussions would be.

Reluctantly Tyler scrolled through his phone until he found her contact and waited for the call to connect.

“Don’t pick up! Don’t pick up! Don’t…”

“Tyler?” a soft, squeaky voice asked.

“Shit! Hi Mum.”

“Do you know what time it is?”

“Shit! I didn’t look at the time difference. Sorry. Did you want me to call back later?”

“No, not at all. Just give me a second.” Tyler could hear shuffling and stumbling in the back ground and could only picture his mother sliding from her bed, stuffing her feet into her slippers, and sneaking out of the bedroom. “Okay, I’m right now. Where are you? Katie said something about Switzerland, but that’s pretty broad.”

“Yeah, I’m in Switzerland training, but I’ll be home in two weeks.”

“Good. I expect a visit.”

“Yes, Mum.”

“How’s training going?”

“Good! Times are back to where they’re supposed to be, so that’s progress, I guess.”

“Anything else you need to tell me?”

Taking a deep breath, Tyler shrugged, thankful his mother couldn’t see him. He might be able to lie over the phone but Tyler knew the moment she saw the torment in his eyes she’d be able to read him like an open book. “No, not that I can think of.”

“Last chance, Tyler. Are you sure?”

He could hear the annoyance in his mother’s tone. His mind was spinning. What had she heard that he was supposed to confirm? Making a mental note to kill Katie later, Tyler steadied himself. “I got my test results.”

“And?”

“It was mumps. They said I’m fine now and I should be back to normal in a few weeks. Just got to work the virus out of my system.”

“That’s good to hear. No long lasting side affects?”

“Not that we know of.”

“And Ava?”

“Ava?”

“Tyler, don’t play dumb. I raised you better than that. I know, okay? Katie told me everything, so don’t bother trying to make up an excuse, because you and I both know you don’t have one. Well, not one good enough. You were an idiot, Tyler, and that girl deserves better.”

Frustration got the better of him. Everything that he’d been running away from, all those words he didn’t want to hear, his mother had just unloaded on him. “Of course she deserves better, don’t you think I know that? That’s why I left. She deserves the life she dreamed of. One with kids. The kids she wants. The ones I can’t give her.”

“Tyler…” he heard his mother’s voice crack

“Don’t, Mum. Please…just don’t.”

“Okay, Tyler. I’ll leave it. For now. But you need to come home. And soon. Then we’ll figure it out.”

There was utter desolation on his face and defeat in his tone and Tyler couldn’t even be bothered to hide it. “Okay, Mum. We’ll talk when I get home. Thanks, Mum. I’ll let you go and get some sleep. Love you.”

“You too, sweetheart. It’ll be all right,” she promised before hanging up.

Ending the call, Tyler dropped the phone on the sofa only seconds before the tears came like a torrent. He’d never considered having kids before. Maybe in the abstract, but he’d never really gave it much thought, but now the option had been taken away from him, Tyler couldn’t think of anything else. One stupid virus could have possibly ruined his future. A future he may have lost anyway because he was a dumbass.

Feeling completely wasted from his emotional outburst, Tyler shot off a text he shouldn’t have before slinking into the oversized, lonely bed.

Tyler: I miss you.