Not the Marrying Kind (13 page)

His stomach grumbled, hungry for decent
food. With a deep breath, Joshua picked up a fork and stabbed at
the beans. He figured they were probably the closest to edible.
Before he got the forkful to his mouth, a knocking sounded at the
door. He took it to be an omen, maybe even a warning.

“Sit still, Cody. I’ll get it.” He pushed
his chair back, got to his feet, and made his way toward the door,
maneuvering his way around stacks of logs, piles of sawdust, and
boxes of cutting implements. God in heaven, if Cody ever lost his
sanity, he could do some serious damage to anyone unlucky enough to
be close by.

He stopped short, concerned by his thoughts.
He wouldn’t have to think too hard to recall times when Cody’s
behavior had seemed a bit odd. Like when he was about fourteen and
got that crazy notion to saw the rockers off his Mama’s chair and
replace them with a couple of wooden wheels he’d made. Said he
thought it would make the woman’s life a bit easier, just rolling
around from room to room. Unfortunately the wheels were the size of
wagon wheels, she had to climb up on a step-stool to get into the
danged old chair, and then she fell right out again trying to
figure out how to make it go. Good thing she loved her son. Good
thing, too, that she didn’t bruise all that easy.

Yep, sure enough, the gears that turned in
Cody’s mind had slipped a cog a time or two. All the more reason
why he needed a wife to look out for him, keep him from hurting
himself—or anybody else. The fact that a wife could also provide
decent meals would be an added benefit.

Puffing up his cheeks, he let out a huff of
breath. He’d better get busy working on Miss Kat, extol Cody’s
virtues a bit, and get her sold on the value of a strong,
lost-lasting marriage.

The knocking came again, and Joshua pushed
aside his thoughts of Kat and marriage. He pulled the door open,
not sure exactly who—or what—he expected to find on the other side,
but glad to be away from the supper table. Maybe later he’d ride
back into Sunset and see what grub he could rustle up in town.

When he saw Madeline Marlowe standing on the
tiny wooden stoop, her scarred face swallowed up beneath a heavy
woolen cloak, he nearly jumped a foot. Whatever—or whomever—he’d
expected, it sure as hell hadn’t been Maddie.

Usually quick-witted and prepared for
anything, Joshua now stood mute, unable to utter a word. He didn’t
have to say anything. She launched into a speech with words enough
for both of them.

“I know you weren’t expecting me, and I’m
sure you’re surprised.” She shuffled awkwardly on the tiny stoop.
“Chances are you don’t even want to let me in, and I don’t blame
you, Mr. Barron. I’d feel the same if I were standing in your
shoes.” All the while she’d been talking, she’d been staring down
at her button-topped boots. Now, she glanced up. “Before you turn
me away, will you at least listen to what I have to say?”

She finally stopped long enough to take a
breath, and Joshua noticed how her frail body quivered. Her
shoulders shook; her hands trembled. He didn’t say a word; he
couldn’t.

“Please, Mr. Barron, it’s important that I
talk to you.” Maddie leaned slightly to the side, peering around
him into the cabin. “Would it be all right if I stepped
inside?”

No, it wouldn’t be all right. Inviting
Madeline Marlowe in would be like asking a rattlesnake to come and
curl up on your lap. You’d damned sure get bit if you did. He
wasn’t
that
stupid. Hell, no! The woman had spewed enough
venom to last a lifetime. All directed against him. All for no
reason.

Not quite true. Money made for a good
motive, and she’d been paid well for her lies.

Joshua stepped out into the Colorado air,
pulling the door shut behind him. “You shouldn’t be up here,” he
warned. “Not alone. Not this time of evening.” Already the sky had
turned a deep, dusky rose. Thick mists gathered at the edges of the
woods, making the tall, rich green pines and spruce trees appear
like giants rising from the leaf-covered earth. “It’s not safe.
There’s wildcats in these parts. Maybe bear,” he said, although he
wondered if any creature would get close enough to the woman to do
any damage. Most likely, a bear or cat would take one look and run
the other way. At once, he chastised himself for his uncharitable
thought. What happened to Maddie hadn’t been her fault. Certainly
she deserved his anger, and probably, she deserved his scorn, as
well, but he couldn’t bring himself to hate the wretched-looking
woman. If he felt anything, it was pity. “I’ll drive you back to
town,” he suggested, walking away toward the wagon.

“Mr. Barron, please,” she said, her voice
soft, and surprisingly gentle. Something about that voice stopped
him. It touched him, took away a little of the hardness and
harshness he was feeling. “Will you allow me to apologize?”

His gaze locked on hers like one of Cody’s
steel-jawed traps. “You want forgiveness? Just like that?” Joshua
snapped his fingers. “You think all you have to do is say you’re
sorry, and I’ll forget about Kansas City? Forget that the last
three years ever happened?” She looked away, but he kept talking.
She’d had her say. It was his turn now. “Do you have any idea how
bad a prison cell stinks? Do you know
what
a cell smells
like? Well, I’ll tell you. Urine. Feces. Sweat. Blood. Dirt.” He
moved around to capture her eyes again with his. “Stale tobacco.
Rancid grease. Rotten food.”

“I am sorry, Mr. Barron.” Maddie lifted her
chin slightly. “I don’t deserve forgiveness. I know that. I’m not
asking you to forgive me. I’m only asking that you hear my apology.
That’s the best I can do.”

He’d been about ready to launch into another
tirade, but her simple request stopped him short. She didn’t want
forgiveness. She just wanted him to listen. Well, hell’s bells,
what was the point in that? The damned woman had traipsed all the
way up the side of the mountain to come calling, and all for no
more reason than to say
I’m sorry
, and not expect anything
in return? Bullshit.

“I’ve heard what you had to say.” If that’s
all she truly wanted, she had a done deal. He turned and headed for
the cabin door.

“Mr. Barron, please. Can you wait one minute
more?”

Sure enough. Just as he’d figured. The woman
wanted something from him. Slowly, he turned. He’d been raised to
respect women, to treat them with courtesy and care. But Madeline
Marlowe deserved no respect, only wariness.

He cocked his head, arched a brow, and
stared at her. It was a hard look. Hard in how it appeared, and
damned straight hard to pull off. He’d practiced it until he’d
perfected his ability to lift only one dark brow ever so slightly.
He’d had plenty of time to work at it.

Or maybe that eyebrow didn’t really move at
all. Maybe it was nothing more than the sharp glint in his eyes,
the menacing angle of his jaw. Whatever it was, it never failed
him.

Maddie shivered beneath his gaze. She seemed
to shrink deeper into the folds of her dull, gray cloak. It rustled
as she grew smaller and pulled it tighter around her. For the first
time, Joshua noticed the bright, blood-red lining. For some reason,
it caught him by surprise.

He lost his look.

He lost all his hardness, all his anger,
too. He couldn’t quite figure out why or how it happened, but
somehow, seeing that splash of color brought Madeline to life for
him in a way he’d never thought of her before. She lived, she
breathed, she ached, she hurt. Just like every other human being.
Now, in that moment, the pain in her sad eyes became real, joined
with his pain, grew to be too much for either of them to bear
alone.

“What do you want, Madeline?” he asked.
Joshua couldn’t remember ever calling her by her name before.

Her breath shuddered out into the chill of
the night, frosty, white puffs of air against the growing
darkness.

“I’ve changed, Mr. Barron. I’m not who I
used to be. I’ve almost started to like myself, you know.” The
beginnings of a smile flickered across her mouth, but then her face
turned somber again. “All I want is a chance.”

“What kind of chance?”

“A chance to have this new life I’ve found.
A chance to keep it, Mr. Barron.” When she turned her blue-green
eyes to his this time, he saw the pain again, and he saw the fear.
Maddie was scared—no, terrified—of him. Terrified of what he might
do, of what he might say. Frightened though she was, she didn’t
look away. In fact, she took a step closer. “I’m asking you, Mr.
Barron, to keep quiet about me, not to go telling anyone what you
know about…about who I was, about how I used to live.”

He had a smart-assed remark lined up on his
tongue, but he couldn’t push it out of his mouth. It just sat
there, hard, heavy, and foul-tasting.

“I’d especially appreciate it if you
wouldn’t say anything to Reverend Kendrick, you know. I mean, I
know he’s a good, Christian man. He’s a preacher, after all, and
I’m sure he’d feel obliged to forgive me, but—” Tears glistened
from her dark lashes.

“But you’re not asking for forgiveness.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I know that’s got
to come from the Lord, and He’ll grant it if He sees fit. Like I
said, Mr. Barron, all I want is a chance, a chance to keep going
with this new life I’m making.”

Now the smile flickered again. This time it
fastened itself securely and became real. In that moment, her
face—scarred though it was—almost seemed to glow. Or maybe it was
just the silvery moonlight slipping down from the heavens, but she
looked radiant. Joshua found himself thinking that she must truly
have been a beautiful woman once, before that angry john doused her
with sulfuric acid.

She stood in front of him, and he could have
swatted her away, denied her request, used her unexpected visit as
an opportunity to lash out and get back at her for the hurt she’d
caused him. Madeline Marlowe had ruined his life; her lies had
destroyed everything of value he possessed.

Everything but his self-respect. He still
knew the difference between right and wrong, knew that vengeance
belonged yet to the Lord, and getting even with somebody never
solved any problems.

He knew, too, that second chances were
better than the first ones a man—or woman—got in life. With that
first chance, a person was generally too young and too stupid to
appreciate it, didn’t have sense enough to grab the opportunities
life handed to you. It was only after it all got taken away from
you that you realized how much it meant. If you were lucky enough
to get a second chance—and not everybody was—you’d damned sure
better take it and hold on to it like there was no tomorrow.

He swallowed the last of his anger, choked
down the remains of the bitterness that had ridden alongside him
through miles of prairie, weeks of fury. Joshua bowed his head,
then slowly nodded.

“I won’t say a word. Your secrets are
safe.”

“Thank you.”

She turned to walk away, but Joshua couldn’t
allow it. Not on a cool May night when all sorts of wild, hungry
creatures could be out prowling in the moonlight, searching for
prey. Come to think of it, he could count himself as another of
those wild, hungry creatures.

“Get in the wagon,” he said. “I was about to
head into town anyway.”

He went back into the house just long enough
to grab his jacket and tell Cody he was leaving.

* * * *

Morning brought a soft haze to the skies
above the grassy plains of Colorado. To the west, tall peaks
shimmered in the early light, watchful sentinels of the new day,
while the sun’s gentle rays cast a feeling of peace over the
landscape. Surrounded by the awesome beauty of the earth, Kat
smiled as she rode alongside Joshua.

She loved this land. Although she had no
doubts that running the ranch would prove a challenge, no matter
how difficult the work or how arduous the tasks involved, she would
find a way to keep her dreams alive. The Rocking P Ranch would go
on.

Thank goodness she and the new foreman
worked well together. They’d quickly fallen into a comfortable
routine during the first week. Beginning early each day, they rode
the range, locating the free-roaming cattle and bringing them into
a small herd. Once they’d rounded up enough beeves to fill the
contract’s specifications, they would drive them down the hillside
and on to the nearby Army fort for inspection before delivering
them to the reservation. When that time came, Kat would have to
hire on a few more men, of course, the same way Pa did every year.
Driving cattle was tough work, but ranching was a lucrative
business. The government was currently paying nearly eleven dollars
a pound for the meat, and each steer would produce a good many
pounds. After the sale, she’d be able to pay the help and still
show a nice profit for the Rocking P. Her father would be proud of
her. She would make certain of it.

On that particular morning, like every other
morning, Kat and Joshua exchanged a few pleasantries now and then.
Mostly they rode in a companionable silence. Even though they’d
known one another only a short time, they seemed to understand each
other without the need for a lot of words. It put Kat at ease,
knowing she didn’t have to worry about carrying on a conversation
with the man. At times though, she wished he’d say a little more
about himself. He aroused her curiosity. She wanted to get to know
Joshua Barron. Where was he from? Why had he chosen to come to
Colorado and settle in with his reclusive cousin? And what had
happened to his leg? He never spoke about it.

Glancing at his leg now, she wondered again
why her father had hired this man. Could Emily be right? A
preposterous thought! Still, the idea of her father intentionally
working at cross purposes rankled her. Her pa could be mighty
hard-headed and set in his ways, but he’d never do anything to
deliberately hurt her. She clung to that belief even as a distinct
sense of unease swept over her.