Not the Marrying Kind (12 page)

It did make more sense than asking the
McIntyres to drive two miles out of their way. Besides, they were
sometimes late closing up the mercantile, and she had things she
wanted to do that evening. The sooner she returned home, the
better, she reasoned, although she knew perfectly well that her
sudden burst of logic was nothing more than a frantic attempt to
justify her decision. She nodded, maybe a bit more vigorously than
she intended.

“Yes, thank you, that would be really nice
of you, Mr. Barron, but I do need to stop at McIntyre’s first. I’ll
only be a minute,” she called, already racing toward the store.
Thrilled by the prospect of sitting next to the man as they drove
from Sunset to the Rocking P, Kat could barely contain her
excitement. A
real
woman, of course, would be coy about the
situation. She didn’t have patience enough to play hard-to-get.

When she reached the store, she opened the
door and poked her head inside.

“Lucille? Do you have that soap Mama likes?
Would you wrap up a couple bars and put it on our bill?” she asked
after her friend nodded. “I’m in a bit of a hurry.” Out of the
corner of her eye, she spotted the wagon moving slowly toward
McIntyre’s Mercantile. “Never mind, I’ll get the soap another
time.” Kat turned away.

Lucille threw a couple bars of castile soap
into a bag and rushed across the store. “Here’s the soap, Kat, but
what’s the matter with you?” Her dark brows furrowed and her nose
wrinkled. “You look flushed. Do you have a fever? Do you need to
sit down?”

“I’m fine. Really.” She grabbed the bag,
then glanced over her shoulder. Seeing Joshua waiting in the wagon
outside, she smiled and turned back to Lucille. “I’ll tell you
everything later.”

With Lucille’s gaze boring into her, Kat
hurried to join Joshua. As she climbed aboard, she waved toward the
girl at the door. Oh, yes, Lucille would be begging to hear all
about this.

But then, alone with Joshua, Kat had no idea
what to say. How absurd! Every day they rode the range together.
They’d spent hours with one another, talking about topics from the
state of Indian affairs to the modern conveniences of big cities.
They’d talked about her brother and the way he’d died, and they’d
gone on at great length about the territorial government and
Colorado’s chances of someday becoming a state. While they worked,
she had no problem keeping up her end of their conversations.

They weren’t working now. Instead of riding
horseback, they were seated side-by-side, so close she could feel
the warmth radiating from his body. If she scooted over even an
inch or two, they’d practically be touching. She considered it but
decided it might make her look a bit too forward. Some men liked
that sort of thing, she suspected, but she wasn’t sure if Joshua
Barron was one of them. He seemed a decent sort. Most likely he’d
frown on such aggressive behavior.

“Nice afternoon,” she mumbled.

“Yep. Sure is.”

She clasped her sweaty hands together and
licked her lips. “Probably be nice again tomorrow.”

“Hope so.”

Kat lowered her gaze and stared at her shiny
patent-leather shoes. She'd seen them at the mercantile one day and
bought them on a whim. They pinched her toes. She hated them, even
if they did have fancy bows and were supposed to be the latest
fashion according to Lucille. How good it would feel to get back to
the ranch and into her well-worn boots.

But Joshua liked her all frilled up. He’d
actually commented on how nice she looked.

It wasn’t a real compliment. Just an
observation
.

Nothing to get excited about.

“Course we might get some rain,” she
remarked, glancing toward the clear blue skies. Rain? Good grief,
judging from the looks of it, the chance of precipitation was about
the same as the chance of a jackrabbit standing still while you
took aim at it with a shotgun. In other words, slim to none. Damn
it, why couldn’t she think of something clever to say? But, then
again, Joshua didn’t seem to be doing much talking either.

“How come you to be here in town all alone,
Miss Kat?” A worried expression flickered in his eyes.

“Mama brought me, but she got called away.
Another baby about to be born.” Thinking about newborn babies
always made her smile.

“Did I happen to see you at that preacher
man’s house?”

“Reverend Kendrick’s been feeling poorly.
Mama insisted I take him a pot of soup.”

“Well, now, that was right nice. Nothing
like a good soup to cure whatever ails you.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what Mama says.”

Joshua cleared his throat. “I know you don’t
like to talk much about it, Miss Kat,” he began, shifting his
weight on the bench as he turned to look at her, “but is your
father serious about you marrying the reverend?”

His thigh now rested against hers, burning
her flesh through the layers of skirts and petticoats she wore.
Should she move away? She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she knew
what in hell a
real
woman—a
good
woman—was supposed
to do at a time like this. With regret, she slid herself a few
inches away, figuring no decent woman should feel quite so much
pleasure from such an improper touch.

Another sigh slipped out. “Yeah, Pa is still
going on about it, but he might as well forget it. As long as I
fulfill that beef contract, I won’t have to worry about it. Once we
finish rounding up the cattle and deliver them, Pa won’t have any
choice. He’ll have to honor our agreement.”

“Will he?” Joshua scooted a little closer
again.

“Will he…what?” She couldn’t think too
clearly at the moment.

“Honor that agreement?”

“Of course.” Kat glanced down and smiled,
liking the way his leg felt against hers. She didn’t move away this
time. “Whatever you might think of my father, Mr. Barron, he is an
honest man. He says what he means, and he does what he says. That’s
the key to a successful and happy life, in his opinion.”

“Sage advice, really. When you think of it,
most of the troubles in the world come about when people don’t do
what they say they will. And Lord knows, it can cause problems if
folks don’t say what they mean. Your father’s a wise man, Kat.”

“In most respects, yes.”

“You sound a little unsure.”

“If he were really so wise, he’d realize
what a mistake it would be for me to marry that man. We’re not
suited at all.”

“He means well,” Joshua said, turning toward
her with a smile that made her feel a lot like a lump of sugar
melting into a cup of sweet coffee. “He wants you to be happy,
that’s all.”

“Expecting me to marry Reverend Kendrick
isn’t the way to do it.”

“He wants you to have a good husband,
someone who can look after you, take care of you.”

Kat nodded. Quivering still from his
nearness, she could barely speak.

“Of course,” he went on, “there are other
options. I mean, Reverend Kendrick isn’t the only fish in the sea,
as they say, and excuse me for being so bold, Miss Kat, but I
reckon he’s not the only fellow who would find you attractive.
Especially when you’re all fancied up like you are now.”

Kat stared at the man, her mouth gaping open
in a most unladylike manner. Heaven help her! What was she supposed
to say? What was she supposed to do? Surely sitting there like a
bump on a log was not an appropriate response.

She forced herself to say something.

“Yes, there are a lot of men in this world.
I mean, it is a very big world, after all, when you stop to think
about it, that is.” Kat hated it when she babbled. She clamped her
mouth shut and held her breath.

“Obviously you and the reverend aren’t
exactly a match made in heaven,” Joshua pointed out.

“You can say that again.”

“Yeah, I could, but I don’t think it’s
necessary. To my way of thinking, once something’s said, it doesn’t
need repeating. Anyway, as I was saying, I seriously doubt that you
and that minister could ever work through your differences. But
then again, maybe marriage wouldn’t be so bad if you found the
right fellow.”

Kat turned a curious ear. Why, the man was
babbling just as much as she’d done earlier. Maybe more so. Did she
make him nervous? Was he somehow flustered or excited being close
to her?

And listen to all he’d been going on about!
Marriage, finding the right man, oblique references to her
attractiveness. Exactly what did Mr. Joshua Barron have on his
mind? Kat let loose another long, exaggerated sigh. If the
happiness spreading through her bones right now was any indication
of what being a woman was supposed to feel like, she figured she
just might like being female, after all. At least, as long as she
could be near a virile, red-blooded male like Joshua.

He’d gone silent, hadn’t spoken another word
after he’d replied to her comment. That meant, logically, it was
her turn again. A woman needed to carry on a conversation, not just
say a word or two and drop it. A conversation, Kat guessed, should
be an exchange, words going back and forth between two people. Like
bouncing a ball. He’d bounced it her way; she’d better hurry up and
bounce a few words back to him before he grew tired of waiting.

“You’re right, of course.” Folding her hands
in her lap, she smiled, thinking of the many times Mama had told
her that men liked to be in charge, how they appreciated a woman’s
unequivocal support. “Certainly I could never marry Reverend
Kendrick, and I really am grateful to you, Mr. Barron, for sparing
me from that misery. By helping out at the ranch, I mean.”

“I’m right glad to oblige,” he told her,
leaning slightly forward as the horse pulled the old wagon up a
gradual slope.

Kat studied his hands. Strong, hard-working
hands, the skin roughened and chapped, the fingers long and
tapering. Suddenly, without warning, she thought of those hands
caressing her, running the length of her legs, those long, tapering
fingers gliding over her skin.

He’s stopped talking. It’s your turn again.
Pay attention. And say something clever this time.

She forced herself to look away from him,
turning to study the passing landscape. Lovely larkspur trees.
Lupine flowers. Rich green pines.

Several times, Kat opened her mouth, but she
couldn’t figure out what should come next, had no idea what
direction the conversation was supposed to take, and didn’t know if
she wanted to steer it one way or another. Rarely had she ever felt
so utterly bewildered.

“Are you all right, Miss Kat? Is something
troubling you?”

She shook her head. “Just worried, I
suppose. About Pa, about the ranch.” The brutal honesty of her
words took away her anxiety. She simply spoke the truth, let the
words come from her heart. “I love the Rocking P, Mr. Barron. You
know how much it means to me. I don’t want to lose it. I had such
high hopes, but it’s turned out to be a lot more difficult than I’d
expected. Sometimes, I’m afraid I’m going to fail.” Her bottom lip
quivered. “I can’t fail! I can’t.”

Joshua reached out and covered her hand with
his. “I’m sorry, Kat, if I haven’t measured up to your
expectations. I know I’m not quite as much of a man as I used to
be, but—” He stretched out his leg.

“Oh, no! I didn’t mean that, not at all.
You’re doing an excellent job,” she assured him. “It’s just that
there’s so much more involved in running the ranch than I’d ever
realized before. It’s getting to be too much for me. Too many
decisions. Too many unexpected problems cropping up.” She drew away
and reached up, nervously wanting to run her hand through her hair.
Remembring the artfully arranged curls and the massive quantity of
hairpins required to hold those curls in place, she dropped her
hand into her lap. “I used to wake up eager to face each new
morning. Now I wake up and wonder what might go wrong that
day.”

Joshua took her hand in his again and
squeezed it. “I’ll do all I can to help you. Count on it.”

Somehow, Kat sensed a hesitation as he
spoke, not so much in the words he said or even in the way he said
them, but in how he averted his gaze, how his expression seemed to
change. She’d never been good at reading signs before and couldn’t
be sure she was right. She took a chance.

“Yes?” she prompted. “Is there something
else you want to say, Mr. Barron? Is there something you want to
ask me?”

His tongue flicked out to wet his lips, and
he nodded. “I want you to know that no matter what happens, I’ll
always be here for you. If things don’t work out and you can’t keep
the ranch, well, I’ll still be here, still watching out for you.”
He straightened and gazed deep into her eyes. “You are not going to
marry Reverend Kendrick. I won’t let that happen.”

Kat blushed and the soft warmth gave her a
glowing feeling. She liked it. She liked knowing Joshua Barron
wanted to watch out for her, as he called it. Kat had no idea how
it had happened, but she knew beyond doubt that Mr. Barron had
taken an interest in her.

Oh, yes, when she saw Lucille McIntyre,
she’d have lots of delicious little secrets to let her friend
ferret out. And how much fun it would be to spill those secrets bit
by bit, savoring them, and delighting in them.

After dropping Kat off at the Rocking P,
Josh drove on to the cabin, unloaded the supplies he’d purchased in
town, then reluctantly headed inside. He’d come to dread mealtimes,
and sure enough, supper looked as unappetizing as the noon-time
dinner and the morning breakfast had been.

Taking his seat across from his cousin,
Joshua stared at the chipped plate in bewilderment, not sure if its
contents were meant to be eaten or…well, hell, yes, of course they
were meant to be eaten. What else could a man do with undercooked
eggs, stringy beans, and over-salted pork? He just wasn’t sure he
wanted to be the man doing the eating.