North of Heartbreak (12 page)

“Yes, they were wrong.” She looked at him. No anger, no rage, no nothing. “Saying I’m sorry seems so inadequate.” She twisted her fingers together. “But I am. Sorry.”

He stared at the floor now, a furrow etched between his eyes.

She sighed. “I understand how you feel.”

His gaze, colder than ice, froze her in place. “Somehow I doubt that.”

She laughed, but it was laced with sorrow and regret. “Oh, I do.” Tears began to slide down her face, hot like heated oil, leaving burn marks on her skin. “You feel betrayed. Used.”

One of his eyebrows rose. It was the only part of his face that moved. “How do you feel?”

She laughed again. “I’m in shock. I keep thinking this is all a dream or a hallucination. I thought my one and only child had been murdered by her father. A child I didn’t even want. But she was mine, and I couldn’t protect her.” She looked at him. “Do you know how it feels to lose someone before you even understand how important they are to you? How much you love them?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I’m sorry I’ve dragged you into this. I’m sorry for the hurt I’m causing you, but I’m
not
sorry I’m pregnant.”

He stared at her now with wide eyes and a jaw that sagged open.

“Before you panic, let me be clear. I want nothing from you.
Nothing.
Not you, your time or your money, now or in the future. I won’t ask you for anything, and I’ll sign legal papers to that effect.”

“You don’t want
anything?
”

“No.” He seemed surprised more than anything else. The absence of anger helped calm her own emotions. “That was the deal, right? Just fun, no commitments.”

“But things have changed.”

“Yes, but I’ve apologized for it and I stand by my word.”

He continued to stare at her as if he hadn’t understood a word she’d said.

“Thank you for not getting angry.”

“Ah…” He shook his head. “For some reason, ‘you’re welcome’ doesn’t seem like the right response.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I feel like I should be apologizing to you.”

She snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re the injured party here.”

“You’re the one who’s sick, tired and dizzy.” His lowered brows dared her to defy him.

Rather than feel intimidated she stood and said, “Nothing some extra sleep won’t cure.” She walked to the door and held it open wide. “If you’re not going to get mad and yell, this would be a good time for me to grab some of that extra sleep.”

He got to his feet and moved until he was in front of her. Right in front of her. Crowding her until she’d backed up as far as she could go. “Maybe we should talk about this more. I don’t think it’s fair for you to…I don’t know…deal with the fallout all on your own.”

“Fallout?” Their baby was a miracle, not fallout. Words failed her for a moment and her jaw opened and closed a couple of times before she finally found something reasonable to say. “I’m carrying a baby, not a nuclear bomb.”

He opened his mouth to say something else, but she was suddenly angry. She poked him in the chest with her index finger. “I think it’s time you left.”

He looked down at her finger still touching his chest then back at her, a crooked smile on his face. “You’re right, you’re tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“About work. Not about this.” She pointed at her belly.

“How do you think we’re going to avoid talking about that?” He pointed at her belly too.

“My baby is not a
that.
”

“So it’s okay for you to call the baby a
this,
but I can’t call it a
that?
”

“Get out, Liam.” She shoved him out the door, shut it in his face and turned the deadbolt for good measure.

“We’re definitely talking about
this
tomorrow,” he yelled.

Willa stared at the closed door then paced away. How dare he tell her what they would talk about? She was the one pregnant.

Pregnant, the one thing guaranteed to send Liam running, yet he hadn’t run.

She stopped pacing.

He hadn’t gotten angry.

She hadn’t been afraid of him.

She plunked herself down on the sofa. What was she going to do?

That she didn’t have an answer for.

Chapter Thirteen

Insistent ringing pulled Willa out of a dream about babies and airplanes.

The ringing continued and she rolled over, her hand searching for the phone. “Hello?”

“Willa Hayes?”

She knew that voice, one of the 9-1-1 dispatchers from Emergency Services. A burst of adrenaline had Willa sitting up. “Yes.” She glanced at the clock. 4:00 a.m.

“We just received a call relayed from your area,” the dispatcher said. “There’s a woman in labor in Three Rivers. We don’t have any other details since a kid called it in. The road isn’t dry enough for heavy ground traffic, so you’ll have to get there by plane.”

“Have you called Tundra Air?”

“Yes, they say they’ll have a plane ready to take off in ten minutes.”

“Have them hop over to the clinic airstrip to pick me up.”

“Will do. Safe flight.”

“Thanks.” Willa hung up the phone, jumped into some jeans and a T-shirt, grabbed her coat and sprinted out the door. She wasn’t ready to see Liam again, didn’t know what to say to him, but if she kept her mind on the job, perhaps she’d manage to maintain her composure.

It took only a minute for her to run to the clinic from her apartment. She dashed inside to gather her equipment and supplies.

The drone of an airplane engine had her heart racing and her hands struggling to drag four tackle boxes of supplies out the back door. This far into spring, the sun was already up, outlining the plane as it slowed to a stop several feet away.

She picked up two boxes of her gear and hurried toward the aircraft.

Liam jumped out of the plane, nodding respectfully as he opened the back doors for her.

Her heart did a crazy flip-flop. His just-woke-up messy hair and unshaven face made him look dangerously sexy.

Work. She had to keep her mind on work.

“Is there more?” he hollered over the roar of the engines.

“Yes.”

He ran to get the rest of her stuff.

He returned seconds later with the last of her equipment, stowed it in the back and in moments they were taking off.

“Do you know where we’re going?” Willa asked as soon as she put on her headset. Keep it all business and she’d be fine.

“Yeah, due east about ten miles. There’s a small settlement there.”

“I know it. Three Rivers. But there’s no airstrip.”

“Jason said to land on a gravel road that goes through the village.”

“Well, that won’t be hard to miss. It’s the only road they’ve got.”

Liam checked his map. “What kind of medical emergency are we dealing with?”

“A woman in labor.”

“Are we flying her to the clinic or Fairbanks?”

“I won’t know until I see her, but people up here don’t call 9-1-1 unless they really need it.”

“Be ready for anything then, eh?” He glanced at her with the half smile of a man laughing at himself.

“Yeah,” she said, unable to meet his gaze for long.

“You feeling any better?”

“The sleep helped.” She wanted to ask if he was okay working with her, but it seemed a silly question. Neither of them had a choice.

She glanced out the windshield. “There’s Three Rivers.”

There wasn’t much to it. A dozen houses, a couple of stores, three street lamps and a gravel road that dwindled into a two-rut track to nowhere.

Liam angled the plane for descent.

As they approached Willa could see someone running across the road they were lining up to land on. A road broken by numerous pits carved out of the ground. “Are those potholes?”

“They look more like swimming pools to me,” Liam drawled. “It should be an interesting landing, hang on.” He glanced at her and added, “I’ll try to make this as smooth as possible.”

“Good grief.” She grabbed the edges of her seat as the plane dropped toward the ground.

The wheels touched and held onto the road. They hit a pothole with a loud bang and jolt, then another. If it weren’t for her death grip on her chair Willa would have been sent flying without the plane.

Liam moved the flaps and they turned suddenly, heading straight for a house. He turned them again and they switched back to follow the road.

“Had to avoid a couple big potholes,” he explained.

A few more feet and he brought the plane to a stop.

“Sorry,” he said with an apologetic smile. “That landing isn’t going to win any awards.”

“At least we’re down.” She undid her seat belt and got out. A boy, about twelve years old, ran up to her. “Are you the nurse?”

“Yes.”

He breathed an exaggerated sigh of relief. “My aunt Maddy needs you. She’s having a baby right now!”

Willa grabbed two of the equipment kits out of the back, nodding at Liam as he took the rest. She turned to the boy. “Where is she?”

The boy ran off, leaving them to trot after him. He opened a door to a tiny brown wooden house, steam rising from its blackened metal chimney.

Willa could hear a woman moaning before she walked inside.

The air smelled of cookies.

A woman lay on an area rug in the middle of the living room, her legs drawn up, feet planted on the floor, panting.

Willa stepped forward, Liam right behind her. “Maddy?”

The young pregnant woman looked at her and tried to smile. “The baby’s early,” she whispered.

Willa pulled out a stethoscope and knelt next to Maddy. She wore a knee-length nightdress and Willa lifted it up to put the stethoscope on her protruding belly. Willa listened for the baby’s heartbeat and found it after a second or two. One hundred thirty beats per minute. “The baby’s heartbeat is normal.”

“Thank God,” Maddy said, her body visibly relaxing in relief.

Willa checked her pulse. One hundred fifty, high. She was also sweating, the rug beneath her damp.

“Did your water break?”

Maddy nodded. “About two hours ago.”

“When did the contractions start?”

“I’m not sure. They woke me up about three hours ago. I thought it was just false labor.”

Willa frowned and looked around. Maddy’s nephew stood near the door watching them. “Where’s your husband?”

“He went hunting with my father-in-law and the rest of the men two days ago. They’re not due back until tomorrow.”

“Your mother and mother-in-law?”

“The ground is finally dry enough to drive an ATV, so she and most of the women went into Stony Creek yesterday afternoon. I didn’t feel like getting bounced around. I have to pee every thirty minutes as it is.” She breathed deeply for a couple of moments. “They’ll be back later this morning.” Maddy laughed, a short high-pitched sound that spoke of pain rather than joy. “We weren’t expecting the baby to come for another three weeks.”

Willa smiled at her. “Babies have their own schedule and it rarely follows their mother’s. We’re going to start by finding out how far you’ve dilated. This is Liam, he’s an Emergency Medical Technician and my pilot. He’ll be helping with the delivery, okay?”

“Morning, ma’am,” he said with a smile and a nod.

“Hi,” Maddy panted.

Willa turned to him. “Could you take her blood pressure for me?”

“Sure.” He moved around to Maddy’s right side, pulled a sphygmomanometer cuff and another stethoscope from one of the boxes then slipped the cuff around her biceps and began inflating it.

Willa pulled on a pair of gloves and moved between Maddy’s legs to feel how far she’d dilated. “Eight centimeters and fully effaced,” Willa said to Liam. She nodded at Maddy. “You’re almost ready, not too much longer.”

“Thank God, these feel awfully strong.” Maddy breathed through another contraction.

“That’s it,” Willa said, holding Maddy’s hand. “In through your nose, out through your mouth.”

“BP is one twenty-nine over one hundred five,” Liam reported.

That was high.

Willa stared at him. He looked back, his lips compressed and his jaw tense. He nodded and she knew he understood.

Maddy clutched at Willa’s hands. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Knowing she had to keep her patient calm, Willa smiled at her. “Nothing except that this baby has decided to make an entrance very soon. We’re going to have to improvise.”

“Will he be all right?”

“Three weeks isn’t that early. Your body knows when it’s time.”

Maddy closed her eyes and groaned, squeezing Willa’s hands hard. “It feels like right now.”

“Should we move her?” Liam asked, looking at the hard floor, his voice rough with concern.

“No, this will do. Lots of elbow room here. Let’s get a couple of blankets under her though, and I’ll need some clean towels standing by.”

“Hey, sport,” Liam said to Maddy’s nephew, who hadn’t moved from his position near the front door. “Can you help me find some blankets and towels?”

“Is she having the baby?” the boy asked, high and fast.

“Pretty soon.” Liam followed him toward the back of the small house.

“Aren’t guys supposed to boil water or something?”

Willa blocked out their conversation and concentrated on Maddy. Her high blood pressure was the biggest worry. If she started to hemorrhage, she could bleed to death in minutes.

“Have you been feeling dizzy lately?” Willa readied her equipment, taking out a suture tray, IV set, scissors, wire clamp for the cord and a large suction bulb for clearing the baby’s airways.

“Yeah, all the time the last couple of days, but I thought it was just because I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Baby keeping you up at night?”

“Yeah, every time I lie down, he starts punching and kicking.”

Willa nodded. “Movement like that is a good sign. Did you sleep at all tonight?”

“A couple hours, I think.”

“How long did it take you to bake the cookies?”

Maddy’s laugh ended on a moan and she clutched her belly. “I thought it would be nice for the kids to have some fresh baking in the morning.”

Willa glanced over her shoulder. Maddy’s two little ones stood in the hallway watching them. How long had they been there?

Liam walked past the kids with Maddy’s nephew in tow, laden with blankets.

“Can you help her sit up so we can put a blanket under her?”

“No problem. Please excuse me, ma’am.” He slid his hands under Maddy and lifted her into a sitting position while Willa spread one blanket on the floor. “I brought a couple pillows too,” he added, piling them behind Maddy’s back.

“You just earned a merit badge.” Willa sent him a quick smile.

The look he gave her changed rapidly from surprised to happy. “I learned from the best.” He smiled and his grin could have scorched steel.

For a nanosecond all Willa could think of was the heat he created in her when they made love. The next second she was filled with shame. She’d assured him she couldn’t get pregnant, but she had.

“What’s next, boss?”

“I’d like you to monitor Maddy’s blood pressure and physically support her when it comes time to push.” She turned to Maddy’s nephew. “What’s your name?”

“Jim.”

“Jim, could you find something for your cousins to do?”

“Okay, just don’t ask me to do anything gross.”

Willa grinned. “Don’t worry, I won’t. In fact, your aunt made some cookies earlier. Why don’t you three give them a taste test?”

“Eating is a good job. Come on,” he said to his cousins, taking them by the hands. “Your mom made cookies.” He pulled them into the kitchen.

Maddy moaned through another contraction.

“They’re coming every thirty seconds now.” Willa checked her patient’s cervix again. “Fully dilated and effaced.”

“Blood pressure is one twenty over one hundred,” Liam reported.

Another contraction hit Maddy, hard on the heels of the last.

Willa put her hands on Maddy’s belly just as the baby kicked and rolled. The undulating motion started her own belly rolling and for a moment Willa thought she might vomit on the spot. She managed to jump up and dash into the kitchen, making it to the sink before her stomach heaved.

“Willa, you okay?” Liam’s concerned voice followed her into the kitchen.

“Yeah,” she answered as soon as the heaving stopped.

“Good, because we need you out here. This baby is in a hurry.”

She wiped her mouth, glancing at the three kids staring at her with wide eyes.

“Yuck.” Jim screwed up his nose.

Willa smiled an apology and hurried back to see Maddy clenching her jaw and pushing. “Wait, Maddy, wait.”

Willa quickly looked between the woman’s legs. There was no mistaking the baby’s head for anything else. “I see him. He’s ready and you’re ready. On the next contraction, push
hard.
”

“Okay,” Maddy gasped. She took two more huge breaths. “Here it comes.”

Willa nodded at Liam, who moved in behind the pregnant woman to give her something to push against. Willa grabbed a couple of towels and placed them on the floor between Maddy’s legs. “Okay, as soon as you feel the urge, push as hard as you can.”

Maddy nodded then growled and gritted her teeth.

“Push, push, push,” Willa yelled.

The baby’s head slid through the cervix.

“Keep pushing, he’s almost here.”

Maddy screamed low in her throat and the baby slid out onto the towel in Willa’s waiting hands. She held him with one hand, facedown, her palm cradling his chest and abdomen, and used a corner of the towel to rub his back and feet. So small, so perfect. She could hardly wait until she held her own little miracle.

The baby let out a wail and began to cry, his skin quickly changing from a muted blue to pink. Willa wanted to laugh out loud at his healthy protest, her heart lighter than it had been in days.

She turned the baby onto his back and used the suction syringe to remove mucus from his nose and throat. She looked him over, checking his eyes and limbs, then smiled at his mother. “He looks great. A beautiful boy.”

Tears rolled down Maddy’s face and she smiled through the waterfall.

Liam laid her down and moved over to kneel next to Willa. “Wow, listen to those lungs.” He grinned at the boy’s mother.

“You’re sure he’s okay?” she asked.

“He’s just fine.” Willa wrapped the corners of the towel around the baby and placed him on his mother’s deflated belly. “Good job, mom.”