Nobody's Girl (13 page)

–Ciara, “My Love”

 

Never in a million years did Mills think this would be the course his life would take. His wife was gone and for God knows how long. In the wake of her absence he found himself spending the majority of his time with Jade and their daughter. Just a few weeks prior Jade was his sworn enemy, the thorn in his side, and now she'd become somewhat of a crutch. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't stop in to see his daughter.

In such a short amount of time he'd grown accustomed to seeing her angelic face. All of his worries instantly faded away in her presence. Being around Jade didn't hurt much, either. The strong friendship they once shared seemed to have returned. She made him laugh and made him a home-cooked meal every time he visited.

Mills sat on the floor playing with Jaysin's tiny toes. She was lying on a pink blanket on her back. Mills thoroughly enjoyed toying with her feet. They were the cutest thing he'd ever seen. Jade lay on the couch reading
Prima Donna
by Keisha Ervin. The television was on and TMZ was on. Mills wasn't paying the show any attention until he heard Harvey Levin say,
“The rapper J.R. was performing in Paris and during the show he brought celebrity stylist Farrah Mills on stage. Not only did he serenade her, but he kissed her . . . on the lips. No big deal, right? Well, it wouldn't be if Farrah was single, but she's married to BMX pro Corey Mills. I wonder how her husband is gonna feel about this? My sources say they may be heading straight for divorce.”

Mills's nostrils instantly flared. His chest heaved up and down. He was so furious he couldn't think straight. He hadn't seen or talked to his wife for a couple of weeks and here she was in Paris hugged up with another man. Mills would've never expected that she'd disrespect him like that. And as if that wasn't bad enough, she'd done it in such a public way and in front of so many people. If this was her way of getting back at him, she'd done it.

Farrah cheating on him was the worst form of betrayal Mills could think of. He had no idea she even knew who J.R. was. Mills hadn't even had a full five minutes to let all of this sink into his mind before his phone started blowing up. Teddy, his manager, publicist,
Us Weekly
, and more were calling him back-to-back, asking all sorts of questions. His manager was busy setting up a plan to do some damage control, his publicist was formulating a statement to release to the press, and
Us Weekly
was just calling to be nosy and all up in his and Farrah's business. Of course, that came to no surprise. Teddy was the only person who called out of concern for Mills's well-being and how he was taking this newly discovered information.

Mills was humiliated, pissed, and confused. He wanted to choke the shit out of Farrah. Seeing how she was all hugged and kissing on J.R., she was obviously over him and their marriage, so why she hadn't just come out and said what needed to be said was beyond him. This was torture to the highest extent.

“Are you all right?” Jade asked, sitting up.

“No,” Mills screwed up his face.

“Yeah, that was a dumb question,” Jade chuckled. “It's obvious you're not all right. What was that about, if you don't mind me asking?”

“I do,” Mills snapped, getting up from the floor.

“Oh, honey, you finally tasted your prescription.” Jade wagged her index finger. “Don't get mad at me 'cause you gettin' a dose of your own medicine,” she said with a mix of sarcasm and genuine lament in her voice.

“My bad. I ain't mean to snap on you.” Mills sat opposite her on the couch. “I just ain't see this shit coming. I mean, I knew she was mad and rightfully so—but damn, what the fuck was that shit about? I ain't even know she knew ol' boy.” He placed his head back.

“You know I'm no fan of Farrah, but in this case you have to understand that the girl is probably tired and burned out from you. A person can only take so much and you have taken that girl to hell and back.” Jade continued on: “I remember all the shit Khalil put her through. Remember how many times you and I drove her home because Khalil pulled some grimy shit on her at the club? And to leave that relationship just to then get trampled on with what you've done; poor girl must be exhausted.”

Jade was being sincere with her words. Regardless of the drama going on between her, Farrah, and Mills, as a woman Jade could relate to Farrah in this instance. She knew what if felt like to be betrayed by the person you're in love with and have that person walk all over you. That's what Rock did to her when he dismissed her like she was just some groupie he was fucking, because he wanted to get back with his ex. Yeah, she was messed up for cheating on Mills like that, but she was just being true to her feelings and at the time, she really thought she was in love with Rock. It wasn't until she lost Mills to Farrah and was left completely alone that she realized Mills was the only man she couldn't live without and Rock was just a phase.

“That wasn't my intention, though!” Mills broke Jade out of her trance. “I knew it was fucked up to withhold the truth from her, but I was just doing it 'cause I knew it was going to hurt her,” Mills replied, as his anger subsided a little bit from listening to the situation from Jade's perspective. His heart melted and turned into hot lava from realizing he had caused Farrah that much pain.

“I call bullshit on that.” Jade went into the kitchen and grabbed them both a beer.

“What you mean, you call bullshit?” Mills grimaced, taking the ice-cold beer.

“Mills, I know you. You didn't tell Farrah about sleeping with me or the baby because you wanted to save your own ass. You didn't want to face responsibility for your actions, so you lied until you couldn't lie anymore. It had nothing to do with sparing Farrah's feelings. Tell that lie to someone else, just not me.” Jade arched her eyebrow and took a sip of the beer.

Mills looked at her and took a long gulp from the bottle. Jade was 100 percent right. He'd never admit it, though, for his own selfish reasons.

“Listen, lying gets you nowhere. It only makes the situation worse. Trust me, I know, 'cause if I would've just been honest with you about how I felt we wouldn't be here now. We'd be a family, but I fucked up and now I'm suffering the consequences just like you. So learn from my mistakes and do things differently. Talk to her. Don't act out on your emotions 'cause that's when a whole bunch of reckless shit starts to happen.” With that, Jade walked out of the kitchen and left Mills to think about everything she had just said.

 

 

After a seven-hour flight from Paris to New York and a two-hour flight from New York to St. Louis, Farrah finally made it home. On the plane ride home she had the chance to think over things and sort out her feelings for J.R. and Mills. The kiss between her and J.R. was unexpected, surreal, and delicious, but she was a married woman who had every intention on seeing her marriage through. As far as the dream she had, she concluded it was her body's way of telling her she needed to get some and get some fast! It'd been weeks since she'd had sex, but she wasn't an adulterer so the day after that crazy wet dream, Farrah met up with J.R., explained to him that she could never see or speak to him again. Although he seemed saddened by her decision, J.R. promised that he'd leave her alone. She'd always cherish that kiss they shared in Paris and that dream she had with him was always gonna be her dirty little secret.

Farrah had made up her mind that she was going to return home, sit down, and talk to Mills like a rational human being. Running away from their issues only made matters worse. She'd gotten wind from Camden that the kiss heard all around the world was the talk of every gossip magazine and blog. Farrah was sure Mills already knew about it and most likely was upset. She was kind of afraid of how he might react once he saw her face.

As Farrah placed her key into the lock she said a silent prayer to God asking him to cover her in the blood of Jesus. Once inside, she spotted Mills sitting at the dining room table, eating Chinese food. At once Mills stopped chewing. He was startled and disgusted by the sight of Farrah's face so much he lost his appetite.

“Hi,” Farrah spoke softly.

Mills shot her the look of death and emptied his plate. Realizing this wouldn't be an easy feat, Farrah dragged her luggage down the hall to their bedroom. After switching on the light, she walked into her closet and quickly noticed that the things she'd left behind were no longer there.

“No, he didn't,” Farrah said out loud to herself.

“Oh, yes I did,” Mills said behind her.

Startled, Farrah spun around and faced him.

“Where is my stuff?” she asked, feeling her face turn red.

“Where it belongs . . . in storage.”

“What you tryin' to say—you putting me out?” Farrah raised her voice.

“You're not so dumb after all,” Mills replied, mockingly.

“Are you fuckin' kidding me? This is a joke, right? You actually moved my shit?” Farrah threw her purse down on the bed.

“Yeah, go stay wit' that nigga you was fuckin' in Paris.” Mills stood in the doorway.

“First of all, I didn't fuck him—”

“Bullshit! You really expect me to believe that you didn't fuck that nigga?” Mills cut her off. “You was practically suckin' his dick on stage!”

Before Mills could blink Farrah rushed over and slapped him so hard his bottom lip began to bleed.

“What I tell you about puttin' yo' hands on me!” Mills took Farrah by the arms and shoved her into the wall.

“Don't put yo' fuckin' hands on me no more, 'cause if I hit you back you won't live to tell about it!” Mills yelled, shaking her profusely.

“Get the fuck off of me!” Farrah seethed with anger.

“I'm not playin' wit' you, Farrah. Straight up, you put yo' hands on me again you gon' be lookin' like Rihanna after the Clive Davis after party,” Mills warned.

“I wish you would put your hands on me,” Farrah spat.

“Yeah a'ight, try me. Put yo' hands on me again and see what happen.” Mills let her go.

“You know what? It's all good.” Farrah grabbed her purse and bags.

“Where you going?” Mills watched her nervously.

“Home!” Farrah said as she headed for the door.

“What the fuck you mean, home? This is your fuckin' home, but if you wanna leave that's fine by me. But before you go—” Mills reached out and grabbed her arm. “Just answer me this: Did you do it on purpose? Were you tryin' to hurt me?” Farrah could hear the pain in his voice as he questioned her.

“Everything is not about you, Mills! And no, I didn't do it on purpose. I styled him for his show and he pulled me out on stage and kissed me. I had no idea he was going to do that.” Farrah inhaled and took a deep breath. She could feel the adrenaline running through her veins.

“I apologize for embarrassing you like that, but let's not forget that you are the same muthafucka that cheated on me wit' your ex and had a baby wit' her. So you don't get to play the victim, my dear.” Farrah pointed her finger in his face. “You started all of this shit! And now that your feelings are hurt you wanna get mad and put me out? If that's the case, we can just end this shit right now.” She slid off her ring. “Is that what you want?”

Mills paused and allowed his anger to subside. He didn't want to lose Farrah. There was no way he could let her walk out the door and not crumble into pieces. Sure, he'd had her stuff taken out of the room, but that was because he was expecting her to come home apologizing for what she did. He had no idea things would turn out the way they were.

“You know that's not what I want,” he replied, unable to look at her.

“Then let's sit down and talk because we have to figure this shit out.” Farrah allowed her bags to fall to the floor.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Farrah sat down on the edge of the bed. Before Mills sat, he went into the bathroom and rinsed the blood out of his mouth. He never would have thought Farrah had such a heavy hand.

“You ain't have to hit me like that.” He spat with an attitude, returning to the room.

Every bit of Mills yearned to fuck Farrah up, but he couldn't. That was his wife and she was already emotionally hurting.

“I don't know what to do,” Farrah said, ignoring his last statement. She buried her face in her hands. “I wanna be with you. I just don't know if that's possible,” she confessed.

“It can be possible if we try,” Mills responded as his cell phone started to ring.

He and Farrah both looked at the screen. It was Jade. Farrah's temperature immediately rose to a billion degrees. Her anger went through the roof when Mills, without hesitation, answered the call.

“Really?” Farrah shot.

“What's up?” Mills asked Jade, all the while ignoring Farrah's reaction.

“Oh, this nigga done lost his muthafuckin' mind.” Farrah stood up and placed her hands on her hips.

“What hospital are you at?” Mills panicked. “A'ight, I'm on my way.” He ended the call and shot up.

“I'll be back.” He grabbed his sneakers and put them on.

“Where you going at ten o'clock at night?”

“Jaysin's in the hospital. She's been sick with a cough for a few days now and she stopped breathing for a minute.”

Thoroughly confused, Farrah said, “So Jade calls you and you just up and leave like that? As if we weren't just having a life-or-death conversation about our relationship?”