Nobody Likes Fairytale Pirates (22 page)

“Swab?”  She asked, wishing that
Uriah was here to confirm.

“Yes!”  The man hopped into the
wagon beside her.  “Who else do you know that’s being held prisoner in
there!?!”

“Sorry if I don’t exactly spend my
nights reliving the sound of your shrill Cormoranian voice in my head.”  She
scoffed.  “Most of the time I forget you even exist until you’re doing
something stupid and annoying me.”

“Apology accepted, just get me out
of here!”  He stamped his foot, trying to urge her to action.  “Let’s go!”

“Where’s Uriah?”

“Still inside.”  He sounded
panicked.  “This big dude showed up and Uriah said to tell you to go, which is
probably the first idea he’s ever had which I agree with, so go!  Go!” 

She shook her head.  “We’re not leaving
without Uriah.”  She informed him, her voice firm.

“But he said to!  He’s a swordsman,
he’ll take care of it and catch up!”  Ryle protested.  “We’re not doing any
good here and the guards are all…”

“
WE DON’T LEAVE!
”  She
screamed right over him.  “
NO MATTER WHAT!”
  She grabbed the front of
his shirt and shook him.  “
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?!
”

“Yeah!”  He yanked away from her. 
“Take it easy on the shaking, okay?  Prison food is…”

“If this stupid rescue gets my
partner killed, I’m going to fucking
butcher you
, do you understand
me?”  She stood up on the buckboard, looming over him.  “I’m going to cut you
into so many little pieces, I’ll make you
pray for death. 
I will keep
you alive for
weeks
, just to hear the comforting sound of your
screams
!” 
She grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shaking him again.  “You can’t
even
imagine
the kinds of pain I can inflict on you, boy.  Your
continued agony will be my goddamned
mission in life!
 
And I’ll ENJOY
IT!
”

“Oh, fuck!”  Ryle gasped.  “You’re
out of your damned mind!”  He tried to scramble backwards, but she stepped on
the side of his knee, pinning him in place.  He yelped in pain, trying to
dislodge her foot but she pressed harder.  “I didn’t do anything!  I wanted to
help and he told me to come get you out of here!  I’m not the one who told him
to fight that guy!”

“You’re here, you’re to blame.” 
She assured him through clenched teeth, then pointed back towards the
building.  “Go.  Find.  Him.”  She paused.  “
NOW!
”

That’s when the building exploded.

Ten minutes before

Uriah didn’t like this rescue
mission anymore.  It was really interfering with the other plans he’d suddenly
developed for his evening, and he had a good mind to just call the whole damned
thing off.

He’d come so close!

His hand had been
inches
from
her hair, but because that asshole guard had appeared and ruined everything, he
was once again left with only his imagination.

He blamed Ryle for this.  If the
Swab hadn’t gone and gotten himself abducted from his abduction, this never
would have happened.

Uriah paused for a moment to think
about how good it had felt to be so close to his partner…  Feel her move against
him…

He’d come so close to having
everything he’d ever wanted.  True, he had made the woman a promise to never
bring the subject up again, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t very tempted to
try anyway.

He had no chance, but he could
enjoy what little he could get.

He’d gone too far though.  He knew
that.  She’d been angry with him at the end and she didn’t really get angry
unless she was scared.

He let out a long breath.

He just… just found it so hard to
be close to her and not touch her.  It felt wrong.  Not to tell her how amazing
she was and how he dreamed about her every night.  True, most of those dreams
were nightmares where he relived his failure to protect her again and again…
but she didn’t need to know that aspect of it.

He very rarely slept at all,
because he just couldn’t take it.  He… he couldn’t go through that anymore.

But the fact remained that he found
just being near her… exciting.  She was funny and capable and compensated for
everything wrong with himself.  He found her calm sarcasm and dry little accent
so erotic.  His body grew harder every time she made a biting comment or mocked
one of the people around them.  And every time she said his name, it sent a
surge through his body, pushing him to grab her and take her.

She was
his. 
He felt it
with every part of his body.  And every second she was around, he wanted to
grab her and finally reclaim that lost piece of himself.

But that was the absolute
last
thing
he should do.  He’d promised her he’d drop it and that wasn’t any kind of
misunderstanding.  They’d both known
exactly
what he was going to tell
her and she had said no.  Plus, she had personal space issues due to her
history, and just grabbing her was a huge mistake.  He didn’t want to scare her
and taking anything she didn’t freely give was absolutely out of the question.

The problem was that she wasn’t
really willing to give him much, and she shut him down whenever he tried to
breach the topic.  He’d tried in Cormoran, tried to explain to her how he felt,
but she’d immediately stopped him.

“Don’t.”  She had said.  “Just please
don’t.”

Uriah didn’t take much in his life
seriously, but he listened to his partner.  Always.  He also listened when a
woman told him “no,” obviously, but this was more than that.  She wasn’t just
saying no, she seemed not to want to acknowledge it at all.  Like she could
erase it from existence simply by ignoring it.

If it were anyone else, Uriah would
have taken great pleasure in teasing them about that mercilessly.  Continuing
to bring it up at every opportunity, pushing to see just how far he could get
and what made them the most off-balance.

But Ransom was… important.  To be
honest, she was really only person left alive who was.  And if she didn’t want
to talk about it, he wasn’t going to talk about it.  Because not only was he
afraid of scaring her, but he didn’t want to put her in the position of
choosing between being uncomfortable with him or leaving him behind.  He didn’t
want to risk that.  He simply needed her too much.  So, he could pretend that
he wasn’t feeling what he was feeling and that he didn’t want her like he
wanted her.

He’d do
anything
for her…
even pretend that he wouldn’t.

He slipped through the window of
the jail, moving silently into the darkness.  He could be fairly quiet when he
wanted to be.  He’d spent his youth trying desperately to avoid other people,
first his fellow Grizzwood folk and then his father.  He’d become a master at
moving without a sound, which was a fairly difficult thing when you grew up in
a swampy forest filled with dry leaves, low-hanging branches, and wet mud.  Compared
to that, walking on stone tiles without making noise was easy, even when
wearing spurs.  In recent years, he’d deliberately abandoned the skill to make
things easier for his partner, but he still remembered how to do it. 

There were very few things in this
world which Uriah truly excelled at, but this was one of them.  He could sneak
into anywhere and he could remain unseen for extended periods of time.

It was just the blasted “sneaking
back out” part of it which often tripped him up.  Generally speaking, the only
reason why a Grizzwoodian snuck into someplace was if they planned to kill
everyone inside.  And once that happened, it didn’t really matter how loudly
they left the building, since there’d be no one left to spot them.

He poked his head into the next
room and saw no one, so he crept inside, staying to the shadows.

Two guards walked down the hall in
front of him and he remained perfectly motionless, disappearing into the
darkness created by a large shelving unit.

The men continued on their way and
closed the door behind them.

Most of the guards were stationed
on the ground floor, so Uriah was relatively alone up here.  And if he was
reading the Adithian signage correctly-- which was a
big
‘if’ since his
knowledge of their written language consisted mainly of a half dozen curses and
their word for “prostitute”—the holding area was just up the stairs in front of
him.

He crept up the staircase, careful
for fear of accidently discovering a creaking stair or unexpected guard.  But
he arrived on the top floor without difficulty.

Ahead of him was a long hallway
with a single door at the end.

He stared at it for a moment,
trying to decide his best course of action.

There was nowhere to run in that
hallway.  If the door at the far end opened, he’d be utterly exposed and would
be caught immediately.  And there was no telling if there would be another
exit, even if he
did
make it down the hall and into the room.

The hallway was a kill box.

On the other hand, he could retreat
back the way he had come and try to sneak in a window on the other side of the hallway,
inside the room.  But that meant going back down stairs, where most of the
guards were stationed.  Plus, there was no telling how many guards were in the
room itself and he didn’t think they’d look too kindly on him suddenly tapping
at their window and asking to be let in.

If Ransom were here, she’d know
what to do.

This was
clearly
a situation
where Ransom’s guidance was needed.

He made a face, once more thinking
about how close he had come to having everything he wanted, and thus, how close
he had come to ruining everything.

He eyed the long hallway for another
moment, trying to estimate his odds of surviving it.

Meh.  Fuck it.

If nothing else, it would be fun.

He simply strolled down the hallway
towards the door.  He put his hand on the knob, his other hand tightening on
the grip of his sword… and pushed it open.

Inside was a dimly lit room,
containing a desk and a barred heavy door.  In one corner sat several small barrels
of what appeared to be black powder, no doubt destined for one of the cannons
on the roof of the building, which was accessible through a heavily barred
stairway to his right.

Otherwise, the room was empty though,
which was kind of a letdown.  He’d been expecting
someone
to be
stationed here, so to find no one, it either meant something very good or very
bad.

Either they didn’t expect any
trouble and have left the room unguarded… or this was a trap.

But either way, it was too late to
worry about it now.

He casually unlocked the iron door
and wandered into the detention area, which consisted of a row of cramped cells. 
The air in the room smelled stale and reeked of vomit.

Two of the cells were currently
occupied.  The one closest to him contained a badly beaten man, who looked like
he had died hours ago, but not before gifting the room the nauseating aroma. 

The second cell contained Ryle, who
appeared to be trying to pick the lock with a small piece of wire he’d found
somewhere.

“You’re doing that wrong.”  Uriah
told him simply.  “Idiot.”

Ryle looked up at him in
astonishment.  “Oh, thank the gods!”  He shook the bars.  “Come on, man!  Get
me out of here!  These people are crazy!”

He stalked over the cell.  “As
mother used to say,” he held up a finger, “’the fish wouldn't have gotten caught
if he had kept his mouth
shut
.’”

“They arrested me!”  Ryle protested,
sounding insulted.  “’Cause I’m an ‘Outsider’ or whatever!  I was just standing
there!  You think I w
ant
to spend any more time on this island than
absolutely necessary!?!”

“Uh-huh.”  Uriah arched a
disbelieving eyebrow.  “And it had nothing to do with you trying to escape the
welcoming embrace of your forcible captivity with my crew?”

“’Your crew’ consists of one really
hot pirate chick, who I don’t mind spending time with, ‘cause she’s very very pretty!” 
He shook his head.  “I mean, yes, obviously I’d prefer not being kidnapped by
pirates at all, but I’d take being abducted by the hot Adithian pirate girl
who’s funny, over the evil Adithian soldier guys who beat an old man to death
for having the wrong type of flowers in his yard!”  He pointed at the body in
the next cell.  “And it wasn’t even his house! 
He was just renting!
” 
He shook the door again.  “Get me out of here!”

Uriah looked down at the lock. 
“Umm…”

“You can pick it, right?”  Worry
was evident in the boy’s tone.

“Of course I can pick it.”  Uriah
told him with complete confidence.  “It’s just…”  He swallowed.  “Umm…  Ransom
is really in charge of that.”

“But you said you can pick it!”

“I can pick it!”  He pointed
towards the front of the building where his partner was waiting.  “My way of
picking it is standing right out front!”

“That doesn’t count!”  Ryle shook
his head.  “Why don’t you know how to do it!?!”

“Because she knows!  It’s called
‘teamwork’!”

“It’s called being incompetent! 
What kind of pirate doesn’t know how to pick a lock!?!”

Uriah’s eyes narrowed.  “The kind
of pirate that’s seriously thinking about simply leaving with his ‘really hot
pirate chick’ and letting the ‘evil soldier guys’ torture the dumbass Cormoranian
boy to death, because the dumbass Cormoranian boy is a dumbass!”

“Alright, fine.  Whatever.  Sorry I
insulted your pirate honor or something by pointing out the fact that my
rescuer seems to be the least useful member of his own crew.”

“What do you want from me, Swab?” 
Uriah spread his arms wide.  “Huh?  Do you want me to tell you that she’s the
brains of our operation?  Because I think I already have.  That she’s the
strong one?  Well, she is.  And I don’t mean that in some bullshit ‘she’s blind
which means she’s strong because she hasn’t just killed herself yet’ way, the
way most people mean it, I mean that I’d
literally
be dead a hundred
times over if she wasn’t there to help me.”

“I’m not really worried about you
being dead a hundred times, you dickhead, I’m worried about
me
being
dead
once!”

“Oh, relax.”  Uriah rolled his
eyes.  “I got this.  Ransom is better at it, but I know what I’m doing.”

He began fiddling with the lock,
trying various things to see if he could pop it.  It was a strange Adithian
configuration and he had no experience with it.  He deliberately avoided this
island whenever possible.

“You have no idea what you’re
doing, do you?”  Ryle deadpanned.  “You’re just randomly screwing around,
hoping for a miracle.”

“I’m a professional thief, Swab. 
From a
family
of thieves, who grew up in a
kingdom
of thieves.” 
He rolled his eyes.  “I
think
I know how to pick a lock.”

“Except you obviously don’t.”  The
Swab began to beat his head against the bars of his cell, repeating “I’m dead,
I’m dead, I’m dead…” again and again.

Uriah ignored him, trying to
remember the many times he’d seen Ransom do this.  He paid attention to
everything that woman had ever done.  Every movement of her body.  He let out a
long breath and pictured her graceful fingers manipulating the pick, while he
tried to copy the movements of her small hands...

The lock popped open.

They were both silent for a moment
and it was hard to say which of them was the more surprised.

“And you doubted me.”  Uriah made a
tsk-ing sound with his tongue.  “You don’t get to be ‘the Ocean’s Shame’ unless
you’re pretty good at being pretty bad, boy.” 

Ryle hurried from the cell.  “Dude,
you got lucky.  You’re a terrible pirate.  You don’t even have a ship.  I’ve
never seen you captain
anything
.”

Uriah made a face at him.  “One can
get by in the world without being especially skilled in that regard.”

“Not when they decide to embark
upon a career of piracy, they don’t.”

“Well, if you’re unhappy with the
way I’ve freed you from the toils and snares of your captivity with these fine
people, I’d be
more
than happy to lock you back up in your cage.”

“No, no,” Ryle held up his hands,
“we’re cool.  Just saying there’s room for improvement.”