Something had snapped inside of me.
How could my girls be smiling? How could they laugh? I'd looked in their eyes and seen Josieâtheir dimples, their hair, and even their voices were all Josie. Nothing could be the same anymore, not ever. I walked into the kitchen where Josie's blue apron hung limp on the wall. The girls had followed me there with their dolls still in their hands. How could they be happy? Their mother was dead! How could they? Rage flowed through my entire body, and I was shaking. I grabbed a knife. Numb. There was no feeling in my body except pure rage. My humanity was gone, just like Josie.
“Daddy?” they'd whispered.
I'd stared down at them, my vision red. Their dolls had fallen on the kitchen tile.
As I strolled through the streets of Niceville, I felt woozy. I stumbled through a park and passed some teenagers skateboarding. One of them yelled at me, but I ignored it. All I could see was red starting to pool around a plastic doll on the kitchen floor.
I fell to my knees and a scream burst from my chest. I dug my fingers into the soft earthâpulling and ripping the pieces apart. My whole body shook as I screamed, drool spraying from my mouth, and my vision blurry with hate.
“Dude, are you all right?” one of the teenagers asked.
I froze, but I didn't look up. I stayed there on my hands and knees, panting and heaving.
“Um, seriously dude, are you all right?” he asked again. “Should I call 911?”
I snapped my head up at him, and he took a step back, holding his hands out in surrender. Was I really that much of a monster? Did he know what I did to my girlsâmy poor, poor angels? Did he know what I was going to do?
“You're crazy,” the teenager spat, and he rode off with his friends. He had no idea.
Lily and Ashley . . . they were just like my girls, but they would be mine soon enough.
I
dashed to my closet to find my red Coach shoes. I pulled them on my feet, then stood in front of the mirror, searching for any flaws I might have missed. My hair, which I had scrunched, was still doing what I wanted it to do. My makeup looked smooth and pretty. My red shirt flattered me wonderfully, and my skirt showed off my legs just enough. Perfect! I put on a new layer of pink lip-gloss as a finishing touch.
Even though I saw Lily almost every day, I couldn't wait to see her. We were like soul sisters. Our friendship seemed to grow by the minute. It was almost like we were destined to be close. She confided in me and told me everything. She'd told me about her dad. It was crazy to think about. I knew she was still scared of him coming back and finding her. When we were younger, she would have nightmares when she slept over, waking up and screaming that he was going to get her. I would always try to comfort her, but I honestly never knew what to say. I couldn't even imagine my father hurting our family like that.
I'd met her on the first day of fifth grade. I saw this little, skinny girl with flat brown hair and gangly features. She was wearing this silly, brown-plaid outfit. I had walked up to her and stuck out my hand, but she just stared at me. Some stupid boy was making fun of her, so I obviously had to intervene. I yelled at him, and when he scampered away like a pathetic puppy, I introduced myself.
“Hi! I'm Emily. You're new. I can tell by how your face looks all scared.”
She gave me this funny look, then she ducked her head down like she was ashamed.
I scrunched up my face and smiled. “What's your name?”
“Lily.” She kept her eyes on the floor.
“Well, Lily, I like you. You're different, like me!” She lifted her head, and her eyes were bright and happy. She almost had a full smile on her face.
“Thanks for yelling at that boy,” she said.
“No problem. That's what friends do. Let's go play!” I said and waited for her response.
“Okay,” she replied.
We ran off together and have been inseparable since.
I grabbed a purse out of my closet and stuck everything I would possibly need, then flicked my light off before frolicking down the stairs.
“Bye, Mom! Bye, Tyler!” I was almost to the door.
“Bye, sweetie, have fun!” Mom called. Dad was working late tonight.
“Wait a minute, Em,” Tyler's voice echoed. “I just wanted a hug . . . What are you wearing?!” he asked, his face scrunched.
“Shhh!” I snapped. He frowned at me with his plump lips and baby blue eyes. There was a little V shape between his bushy, blond eyebrows. Why were older brothers so overprotective?
“At least put on a shirt with sleeves,” he said.
“Ugh, come on, Tyler. It's not that bad! I'm wearing flats!” That earned me a scowl. “I'm gonna be late!” I squeezed him to me, and he held onto my shoulders for a moment.
“All right, just be careful okay?”
“Okay okay, love ya!”
“Love you more.”
W
e pulled into the driveway, and I zoomed into the house and up the stairs. Emily would be here soon. I flew into my room and crashed into the dresser. I searched and found the shirt I was looking for. I ripped off my work clothes and pulled the bright-green shirt over my head. It had spaghetti straps, and it matched my eyes perfectly. I grabbed my denim shorts and threw them on. I ran into the bathroom and quickly brushed my hair.
I sat on my bed, pulled on socks, then shoved my white Puma tennis shoes on my feet. I put on a pair of emerald-stud earrings to match my shirt. I threw a twenty-dollar bill, lip gloss, and mascara in my purse. I looked in the mirror one last time and ran my fingers through my hair. I sprayed some sweet-smelling perfume on my shirt and wrists.
I gasped. I'd forgotten to pack a bag! I ran to my closet and grabbed the pink, green, and blue-striped bag that I used for sleepovers. I snatched random things I thought I would need, like my pajamas, another shirt, my camera, a pair of jeans, and the movie case with me and Em's favorite movies. I zipped the bag up, grabbed my purse, and headed down the stairs. A horn honked outside. I snagged my jacket off the stair banister and found Mom and Ash in the living room.
“Bye, Mom! Bye, Ash! Love you! See you both tomorrow!” I said, giving them both a hug and a kiss.
“Bye, sweetheart. Have fun!” Mom said.
“Bye-bye, Lily. Love you too!” Ashley said, and I carried her to the door with me.
I set Ash down and gave her another kiss. “See you tomorrow, kiddo.” I closed the door gently. I loved Ashley more than anything in this world.
“Hey, Em,” I said as I got into the car.
“Hey! That shirt looks great on you. And I love those shorts!” Emily said.
“Thanks,” I said looking over at her to see what she was wearing. I gasped. “You, my dear, are too hot for your own good,” I said jokingly. We laughed.
“That's kind of what I was going for,” she said with a smirk. She was wearing a red, strapless shirt that showed the bottom of her stomach, a denim mini-skirt, and red Coach shoes.
“That's all for Jacob, isn't it?” I accused playfully.
“Nooo,” she said innocently, holding out the “O” sound.
“Right, okay,” I said sarcastically.
“And all that isn't for Scott, right?” she joked back.
“I don't know what you're talking about,” I said. I felt my cheeks blush.
It was 8:45 when we got to the Twin Cities Cinema movie theater. We parked in the middle of the lot and bought our tickets outside, then walked into the theater to wait for everyone else. The smell of popcorn hit us in the face. Of course, Max was already there, always on time.
“Hey!” Max called. He was sitting on a bench next to the bathrooms.
“Hey, Max,” Emily said, quietly giggling. I nudged her with my elbow as we walked over to the bench. Max stood up and shook our hands, holding onto mine a little longer than necessary. I mean, who shook hands in high school? At the movies . . . it was way too formal.
“Hey, Max,” I said a little less enthusiastically.
Max was wearing khaki shorts and a white-and-light-blue-striped polo. His skin looked paler than usual. His light-brown hair was completely gelled down like it was attached to his head. His brown eyes were very thoughtful. He looked too eager. And that scared me a little bit.
Just then Luke and Angela walked in the theater. As always, Angela was tucked under Luke's arm, and she had on a light-blue shirt and light-washed jeans. Her brown hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and she wasn't wearing her glasses.
“Hey, guys,” Angela said. Her blue-gray eyes flickered from us to the ground.
“Where are your glasses?” Emily asked in a polite tone.
“She got contacts yesterday,” Luke said.
“Oh, that's great,” Emily said.
“Yeah, you look awesome,” I complimented.
“Yes, she does,” Luke said as he smiled at Angela.
“Lily's right,” Max said quickly.
“Thank you . . . all of you,” she said excitedly, but quietly.
Sarah was the next one to arrive, and Emily busted out laughing because she had finally noticed the odd behaviors at lunch the other day, such as Sarah touching my arms and playing with my hair. I slapped Emily's arm gently.
“Hey, Lily,” Sarah called and waved. Her eyes were big and she was smiling.
“Hey, Sarah,” we all said. Her shoulder-length, black hair was straight and the blond highlights were gleaming. Pink eye shadow hovered above her dark brown eyes, which looked surprisingly good on her. A few freckles dotted her nose and cheeks. She wore a hot-pink, short-sleeved shirt with denim capris and pink and white tennis shoes. Silver bangles jingled on both wrists, and a little diamond stud twinkled in her nose. Sarah hugged me, then everyone else, and turned back to me, touching my arm.
“So Lily, do you remember what I said in the cafeteria?” she asked.
I shrugged out from under her hand as politely as I could. “Yep, I do,” I replied, looking at Emily for help.
“Well, I meant it, and . . . ?” she started.
“Lily, let's go sit on the bench. I'm tired of standing,” Emily said, rescuing me.
“Okay, me too! Sorry, Sarah.” I hurried over to Emily, and made her sit next to me while I sat on the very edge of the bench. Maybe it was rude, but I wasn't into Sarah the same way she was into me.
“Thank you,” I mumbled quickly to Emily.
“Uh-huh,” she mumbled back.
Rachel walked in, chatting away on her cell.
“Hey,” we said.
“Hey everyone!” Rachel replied and snapped the phone shut. Rachel had bleach-blond hair, but her dark-brown roots were starting to come out. She had pretty hazel eyes, and a heart-shaped face with tiny lips that looked like a little pink circle on her face. It was like she was always waiting for a kiss without having to pucker.
I had never gotten too close to Rachel. In fact, I rarely spoke to her at all. She was snobby and rude, and I didn't like those kinds of attitudes one bit.
The last people to arrive were Jacob and Scott. When I saw Scott, my heart fluttered and Emily nudged me at the sight of Jacob. We giggled. Jacob had short, brown hair, sort of like a military cut, and light-brown eyes. He was very muscular and tan. I'd heard from many girls that Jacob was a jerk. He wasn't quiet, but he was reserved. Especially recently. He was more talkative last year, but this year he looked angry all the time. I felt bad for him sometimes because even though he kept to himself, rumors still spread. The most recent rumor was that his parents had gone through a bad divorce. I wasn't sure if he was a good choice for Emily. I'd heard he got into a fight about a month ago, and he'd won by a long shot.
Scott was very sweet and polite. His light-brown hair looked so soft, I wanted to run my fingers through it. His icy-blue eyes were warm, despite their cool color. His jaw was defined and his lips looked soft and supple. I wondered what it would be like to kiss them. Scott had a sweet face. He was very muscular too. I remember him telling me in middle school that he wanted to join the military. He would make a good soldier if that was still what he wanted to do. I think he could be good at anything, really.
“Hey, Jacob!” Emily said, hopping up off the bench and waving.
“Hey, Emily,” he said, nodding once. As they hugged, one of his hands remained in his pocket. I couldn't help but frown and scoff. Typical man trying to keep a woman from knowing his feelings when he was being so obvious that he cared for her. Sarah started to inch closer to me, but I stood up and started pacing.
“Hey, Scott,” I said waving and trying to copy Emily's flirty voice, but with no success.
“Hey, Lily. What's up?” Scott replied.
My heart skipped a beat when he said my name. “Oh, nothing really. What about you?” I replied.
“Just the same old, same old,” he said with a laugh. I laughed too, running my hands through my hair. Man, I felt so stupid around him. I was just thankful I didn't trip on the way over to him.
“How have you been?” I asked rubbing my arms . . . it was a little chilly, or I was just freaking out. God, I could be so awkward sometimes! It was pretty frustrating.
“Lily, where did you say you work now?” Sarah asked me.
“Oh, I workâ”
“Hey, Scott!” Max said, interrupting me.
“Hey, Max,” Scott replied in a tired tone. I could tell he was getting a little frustrated too.
Ugh! I'm not the only girl here! And there are plenty of attractive single guys, Sarah! Yeesh!
I thought to myself. Why was everyone interrupting every time Scott and I started talking?
“Luke, do you want snacks?” Angela said, looking up at him lovingly.
“All right,” Luke said, staring at her like she was something he'd never seen before. It was strange, but cute.
“That sounds like a good idea,” I said, then looked at Scott.