Nick and Lilac (25 page)

“
Yes.
”

His heart clenched at the tear-clogged note in Lilac’s voice. “Jason is taking care of you well?” So many words rushed to his throat, but Nick pushed them all away. None of them were worth saying because they were about him, and right now everything had to be about Lilac.

More tears pricked her eyes at Nick’s voice. He was
hurting.
And she hurt even more, knowing that she wouldn’t be the one to heal his pain. “I…wasn’t feeling g-good.” Lilac’s fingers clenched around the door handle as she uttered the lie. “Jason o-offered to d-drive me home. So…I accepted.”

Nick exhaled, gripping his phone tightly because right now it felt like it was his only connection to Lilac. He closed his eyes, futilely wishing there was a way he could absorb her pain. “Lilac, I---” He stopped, knowing there weren’t words eloquent enough to express how fucking sorry he was.

“No…it’s okay.” Lilac didn’t need his apologies – his excuses. It wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “What happened…” She gripped the door handle more tightly, knuckles turning white, feeling like she needed something to anchor her before the waves of pain could carry her away.

“It’s best forgotten.”

Nick flinched. “Lilac---”

She shook her head wildly even knowing he couldn’t see her. “If you want…to stay…as
friends
.” This time, she didn’t wait to hear what Nick had to say, fearing he’d try to change her mind. She pressed the button to end the call and quickly handed the phone back to Jason.

“T-thank you.” She couldn’t meet Jason’s gaze. Fumbling for her own phone, she quickly shut it off, not wanting to expose herself to more temptation.

She had her one night with Nick Christakos. That had been enough for most women, and so it had to be enough for her as well. Now, it was time to move on, to wean herself from Nick because if she didn’t – then she just wouldn’t last another day.

An immeasurable amount of time passed before she resurfaced, hearing Jason say her name.

“Do you have classes today?”

“No. I just have…one subject today, and…Professor Flynn’s…on leave.”

He waited for Lilac to say something more, and when she didn’t, he asked, “Do you want to go straight home?”

Slowly, Lilac shook her head. “No…I don’t.”

“Anywhere you want to go?”

She glanced at him hesitantly. “If you’re…busy---”

“Never,” Jason said quietly. “I’ll never be too busy for you.”

Somehow, the words just made her hurt even more.

****

 
A surprise
was all Jason told her as they boarded the family jet. And when it took off, Jason had escorted her to one of its guest rooms, advising her gently to rest. To her surprise, Lilac slept the entire three-hour-plus flight, awaking only at the respectful knock of one of the flight attendants.

“Mr. Christakos thought you’d appreciate a change of clothes, Ms. York. If you need any extra supplies for your bath, please let me know.”

Taking the packages, Lilac managed a smile. “Thank…you.” Jason’s thoughtfulness was nice, but it also hurt. It reminded her too much of Nick, and that wasn’t a good thing anymore.

Jason’s selection of clothes bordered on the casual, with an assortment of beautiful feminine flannel shirts and jeans that made her blush because they were the perfect fit. There were cardigans and boots, too, making Lilac guess that they were heading somewhere cool.

Jason was waiting for her outside the door, and a slow, sexy smile formed on his lips as he took in her appearance. Lilac had always been beautiful but somehow, she was more so now. Her dark hair contrasted exquisitely with her rosy white complexion and doll eyes.

His lips twitched as he took in her clothes. Somehow, even with the most beautiful clothes in the world, Lilac had still managed to make an unorthodox choice – tangerine cardigan, soft green shirt, and dark blue jeans. It was, without a doubt, Lilac all over.

“Do I look…okay?”

“Perfect,” he said solemnly as he took her hand and guided her to the exit. The plane had already landed, and the flight crew was quick to roll out the red carpet in anticipation of their arrival.

Past the jet doors, the first thing that hit her senses was the scent of pines, followed by the cool breeze that had her shivering a little. She pulled her cardigan closer to her body as her gaze roamed her surroundings. Snow-capped mountains and gorgeous scenery all around – she didn’t need any more clues.

Lilac’s smile when she faced Jason hit him like a ton of bricks, and he gripped the rails tightly. “Colorado,” she breathed in wonder, and just the sound of her voice was enough, binding him to her permanently like a silken rope that no force in the world could ever cut.

Jason’s second surprise was even more wondrous, Lilac wide-eyed and the heaviness in her heart lightening at the sight of the magnificent steam train, with its gleaming red and silver body and the rumbling sounds of its engine running in the background. When it arrived, a loud booming sound thundered in the air, and Lilac jumped before laughing, realizing it was just someone honking the train’s horn.

She looked at Jason and found him smiling down at her. “How do you feel about an afternoon excursion on a historic train?”

Lilac pretended to frown. “I’m not…sure.” She cocked her head to the side, a thoughtful look on her face. “How do I feel…about books and…history?” She raised a brow. “You tell me.”

Jason laughed, but his eyes were solemnly tender as he told her, “No, Lilac. You
show
me.”

And then he didn’t give her time to breathe, to think, or even to
hurt.

Jason had rented the entire train and its crew for just the two of them, with succinct instructions for everyone to entertain Lilac. Throughout the trip, Jason made sure they had a professional photographer and historian in tow to recapture every beautiful moment of their trip with snapshots and meticulous notes.

It was a whirlwind of an adventure, with visits to a charming historic town that might or might not have a haunted hotel, walks through the sometimes-dark, sometimes-glowing tunnels of old mines, and a candlelit dinner on board the train that started as romantic but ended up riotous when Lilac invited the entire crew to join them.

On the flight home, Jason gently brushed off Lilac’s attempt to buckle her own seatbelt, wanting to do it for her. They were quiet throughout the flight, but it was a good kind of silence, one that needed no words.

As the jet landed, and he helped to unbuckle her seatbelt, he asked slowly, “Did you enjoy today?”

She turned to him with doll eyes that were no longer lost, a soft smile that sparkled even if it only curved her lips the slightest bit. Lilac said with a heartfelt catch in her voice, “
Yes
.” 

And Jason was, in a word, dazzled.

But it wouldn’t last, just like how even the brightest stars died a quiet death. Lilac’s quickly drawn breath beside him told Jason that she had finally seen the tall, dark silent figure standing at the hangar, a line of security personnel behind him.

Nick, his brother, his twin---his face exactly like Jason’s, and now their hearts were the same as well because they wanted -
needed –
the same girl.

The Eighteenth Encounter

Moonlight shone in the background, casting shadows all over the balcony. She was not surprised when the doors opened quietly, followed by the duke’s voice as he asked, “I thought you would not come.”

Without looking back, she said just as softly, “You thought wrong.”

He stood behind her, and his power and strength were like a tangible force at her back. It mocked her, his strength, his grace, his beauty – everything that was his and he wanted to be hers…once.

She looked down, her white silk gloves shining in the dark. Something fell, and a dark spot spread on the silk.

“Don’t cry.” The duke’s voice was harsh.

Stubborn, she thought. He had always thought her stubborn and her tears were proving him right, as more of them fell despite the duke’s command.

She twisted her hands, doing what she could to keep them busy for if they were not…

She said painfully, “I just hope you’re happy, Nikolai.”

The duke did not speak a long time. And when he did, she wished he hadn’t.

“Please address me as Your Grace from here on.”

Lilac missed the last step of the stairs, and she wobbled in the air just before losing her balance. She started to fall, and all she could think of was that the Fates had a twisted sense of humor because that was exactly how Lilac felt ever since she met Nick Christakos.

She had been falling since that first day, and there seemed no way to stop falling.

Sure hands caught her, and she looked up to thank Jason.

But it wasn’t Jason.

It was Nick, and it knocked her off anew, her head reeling.

A lump in his throat, Nick slowly helped Lilac up to her feet. Lilac stiffened at his touch for the first time and he let his hands fall, his heart clenching at the way she carefully took a step back from him.

She looked at him with eyes filled with wariness, and the sight of it hurt – it pained him so much more than seeing Lilac look so goddamn happy with Jason at top of the stairs

The distance between them was just a few inches, but it fucking felt like miles. Jason slowly came to Lilac’s side, but Nick ignored his brother, his gaze focused entirely on Lilac.

“Look at me, sweetheart,” Nick whispered. “Please, look at me.” He didn’t fucking care if he had to beg in front of the entire fucking airport. He needed Lilac to forgive him, to take him back. He needed her. He goddamn needed her more than anyone else in the world.

“I’m so goddamn sorry about what I did. I promise I won’t do it again, won’t fucking shame you like that.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I went crazy. It’s no fucking excuse, but all I can say is that I know I was an ass and I won’t do it again.” When she still did not speak, Nick begged rawly, “Please look at me, sweetheart.”

But she did not, her head lowering, hair falling forward like a curtain to shield her face.

His chest squeezed. God, he couldn’t lose her now. He couldn’t. Maybe, maybe if Karla came back, he wouldn’t need Lilac anymore. But he didn’t think so. Lilac had taken a piece of his heart, and he wasn’t ever going to get it back.

The words came out in a choking mutter, his last hope of living again.

Lilac’s head snapped up, her beautiful doll eyes wide. Beside him, Jason went pale, his gaze just as stunned.

Nick cleared his throat, saying it again. Loudly, clearly, he would fucking shout the words if it would mean having Lilac back.

Lilac’s lips parted in a silent cry.

He said it a third time, looking at Lilac. “I love you.”

And then she was flying to him, her arms wrapping around his neck. Nick lifted her up, his arms wounding tightly around the girl who had become as necessary to him as air in order to breathe.

“I love…you.” She choked out the words against his neck, tears seeping into his chest.

Nick’s gaze met his brother’s as he whispered the most painful lie he had to tell her. “I love you.”

****

Nick sat in the darkness of his limousine, alternately stroking Lilac’s back and threading his fingers through her hair as she laid on the seat, her head pillowed by his lap, her body half curled, facing away.

“Lilac,” he said softly.

She turned on her back, looking up at him with dreamy doll-like eyes, its beauty making him swallow audibly. “Hmm?”

“When did you know,” he asked slowly.

The impish smile she sent him was like a shaft to his heart. She asked in all innocence, “When did I…know…
what
?”

He scowled, and she laughed, the sound playing over his skin. “Why can’t…you say it?”

“Because,” he said succinctly, “---it makes me sound like an insecure ass.”

Her laughter rang out again, but then she reached shyly for his face, caressing his cheek. He captured her hand and kissed her palm, something that was fast becoming a regular routine he wanted to savor. Lilac’s lashes drifted closed, as if she, too, savored the contact.

Eyes still closed, Lilac mumbled, “It’s not…terribly romantic.”

“I doubt that.” Nick meant it. Lilac had her head mostly in the clouds. He doubted there was a single thought in her head that was
not
whimsical.

Her eyes opened, a stern look in them. “Promise…you won’t laugh?”

“I pro---”

“It was…at the club,” Lilac admitted in a rush. “When I…you.”

Nick stilled, unsure if he had heard her right.

And then he coughed, several times.

When she tried snatching her hand back, he lost it, laughing. She growled even as he lifted Lilac up so she could sit on his lap. She tried scrambling away, but he didn’t let her. “Really, Lilac?” He let his eyes go wide.

She choked. “You…jerk!”

He laughed harder. “I never…knew. Are you sure you’re writing a historical romance and not erotica?” Her cheeks turned red, and Nick’s jaw dropped. “
You fucking write erotica, too?”

“Nick!” She was completely embarrassed. Something hard poked her from below, and she looked down, blinking when she realized that it was Nick’s erection. “Nick!” It came out as a wail at first, but it ended a breathless gasp when Nick was suddenly kissing her, his lips devouring hers before moving down, Nick hungrily sucking her neck.

“I’m so fucking turned on right now,” he told her in a rough voice. “My shy little lamb’s writing erotica.” He moved up, letting his tongue swirl around her ear, and Lilac rewarded him with a sexy little whimper.

“I’m just fucking blown away, sweetheart.” Nick sucked on her ear, and she gave him a moan this time.

She twisted her head away, pulling back because if she didn’t get a moment to catch her breath she would just
die.
“What about…you?” Lilac swallowed, feeling awkward but wanting – needing – to ask it. “When did you…
know
?”

Not missing a beat even as his guilt gripped his heart, Nick said, “When I realized Jason was stealing you away.”

Lilac blinked and then a smile tugged at her lips. “That’s so…
selfish
.” She shook her head. “That’s so…
you
.” And then she frowned. “And just so…you know…Jason was
not…
stealing m-me away.”

Nick just looked at her.

Lilac told him firmly, “He knows…I love…you.”

He continued to just looked at her.

A little exasperated now, she threw her hands up. “Jason was
not
…stealing me away!” She frowned at him. “He’s your…brother, Nick. He would never…do that.”

He surprised Lilac by moving forward, catching her lips with a rough hard kiss. When he lifted his head, he looked into her eyes, saying evenly, “Even if he did – even if he does – he can’t steal you away from me again.”

“Because…I
love
you?” The truth shone in her eyes.

He swallowed. Lilac’s love a temptation that he knew was forbidden, but he could not help wanting more and more. “Yes,” he said slowly. He sank his fingers into her hair, using it to pull her close. Nick nipped her lower lip. “Because you love me.” He kissed her fully, his tongue driving in, reclaiming what he had almost lost.

They took off their clothes leisurely, as if every moment was meant to be savored. And when Lilac was completely naked in his arms, he took her time pleasing her, kissing every inch of her body that he could reach. He caressed her breasts, loving its fullness, cupping them and sucking long and hard on its rosy tips until Lilac was moaning helplessly in his arms.

“Beautiful,
manari mou
,” he whispered as he moved down, his lips leaving a trail of kisses on her belly. He shifted her up so her back would be against the side of the car and he knelt down across her on the seat.

“
Nick
.” Her voice shook at the way her body trembled under his hungry gaze.

He carefully lifted her legs and placed them over his shoulders.

Realizing his intention, Lilac moaned. “
Nick
.” She was embarrassed, aroused, and excited all at the same time.

Nick moved down, causing her legs to dangle past his back. The first touch of his lips had her gasping, and when his tongue started thrusting in and out of her, she started screaming. Her legs twisted, her head echoing the motion.

She gripped his hair, unable to help it.

“Do you want more,
manari mou?”
He punctuated the words by sucking her clit.

Gripping his hair more tightly, she sobbed out, “Yes.
Please,
yes.”

He sucked hard, his fingers replacing his tongue, and she started to fly. His fingers moved faster as she came, his tongue working harder on her clit, and Lilac’s sobs of pleasure filled the limousine. As her body became pliant, the tremors of her release dying, Nick straightened, carrying Lilac with him as he leaned against the side of the car.

And then he was lowering her on his engorged cock.

“Nick!” Her eyes rolled back at the fullness of him, her still-moist passage welcoming his cock warmly. “Nick!” She couldn’t believe how quickly her body was responding to the almost punishingly hard and powerful thrusts of Nick’s hips.

“Lilac,” Nick growled, and the command in his voice made her look at him with unfocused eyes. He tightened his grip on her waist and began thrusting into her in earnest.

She started bouncing on his dick, her soft beautiful body obeying the demands of his. Soon, she was sobbing again, her hands moving up his chest to grip his shoulders as she started riding him.

“Yes,” he gritted as Lilac’s tight pussy squeezed around his cock. “Just like that, sweetheart. Just like that.”

She gasped, “I’m…coming…again.”

“No.” He lifted her all the way up, until only the tip of his cock was brushing against her swollen entrance, and then he pulled Lilac back down, filling her to the hilt.

She screamed.

“Come when I tell you,” he growled.

She moaned in protest.

He fisted her hair. “Understand, sweetheart?”

Her eyes flew open. “Y-yes.”

“Good.” And then he was fucking her hard, letting the pleasure take over both of them. He pounded into her, wanting her cock to brand Lilac’s pussy as his – and always his. Soon, he could feel it, the rumbling of an orgasm that was about to sweep them over.

“Ready, sweetheart?”

“Yes,” she sobbed out.

“Then come now, sweetheart.” He slid his hand between their bodies, playing with her clit the way he knew she wanted. She screamed, and as Lilac splintered around him, Nick reached his own orgasm, and he came with a shout of his own. He pulled her down on him, grinding his hips into her, thrusting harder and faster to make the orgasm last as long as possible.

Lilac collapsed against him, and he gathered her close, kissing her hair, stroking her back.

She snuggled like a kitten against his chest, kissing a spot above his nipple. “I l-love you.”

Nick hoarded the words, a part of him feeling like they wouldn’t be his forever. Closing his eyes, he cupped her face to bring Lilac closer, kiss her as deeply as he could. “I love you.” The words became easier to say each time, and Nick still didn’t know if it was a good thing or not.

Lilac was still asleep when they reached his home, her doll eyes blinking with confusion when she realized where he had brought her. Lifting her in his arms, he strode into his home, his security team going ahead of him to throw the doors open.

“Sleep in my bed tonight, sweetheart,” he told her as he stepped into the lift. “I need you close.” He kissed her lips as he drew Lilac closer. “I need to feel that you’re mine.”

Her eyes were sleepy, but they were still shining with love. “Yes,” she whispered, cupping his cheek. “Everything…in me…
yours
.”

****

After promising a sleepy Lilac that he would be home by the time she woke up, he headed straight to Senses, where Christien and the rest of their friends were. It was also where he had texted Jason to show up, knowing that there was no point delaying the inevitable.