New Forever (10 page)

I rifle through the car nervously and pull out the books Dee bought while at the signing to occupy my mind. I don’t know what’s going on—Adam didn’t want to go in to detail on the phone. All I know is that something’s wrong with Max. He’s hurt, he’s in trouble – I don’t know. What I do know is that something is wrong and I’m not there for him.

Instead, I’ve been flirting with topless men, or rather a topless man. It doesn’t matter, guilt and fear consume me. I tap my foot on the floorboard while my hand pulls and twists at my hair, all the while willing Dee to drive faster.

“Read ‘Something Sweet’,” she tells me, breaking my trance.

I stare back at her blankly, not comprehending what she just said.

“My friend, Mary, wrote it.” She shuffles through the books on my lap and sets a book with a gorgeous cover on top. “You’ll like it.”

She’s thinking it’ll keep me from jumping out of the car. Maybe I should have taken a plane back home. The trip would have been quicker. Of course, on another note, the flight could have been hours from when we actually left Tampa and I’d be pacing the airport like a lunatic until someone handcuffed me and took me in for questioning. Riding in the car is better.

I open up ‘Something Sweet’ and focus on the words until they make sense. Within seconds, I’m fully immersed in Ainsley and Gresyon’s lives and, well, hello Greyson’s abs! I feel my lips curve into a smile while my stomach settles as I live vicariously through my new literary friends, until, well until...

Men! Typical men! I grunt loudly and slam the book shut, making Dee laugh out loud.

“Keep reading, Hayley.” The patience in her voice is the only thing keeping me from throwing the book at her face. That and the fact that she’s driving and a book to her face may cause an accident which would only prolong our arrival back to Ft. Lauderdale.

“But-”

“Take a deep breath,” she interrupts, “and keep reading.”

I do as she says, quickly flipping through the pages as I engross myself in the story again. The trip back home is quieter, but just as quick. Luckily for me, I finish reading ‘Something Sweet’ fifteen miles from Dee’s home.

I look over at my friend and smile. “What else you got?”

“Lee’s books, but you’ve read them already.”

“You have Alec?” I go through her books and squeal when I find Alec. He is so hot and thick! Or at least his book is thick. Although I’m sure Alec is pretty thick himself. “Think Lee would mind if I dry humped him?”

“I’d mind!” She snatches the book away from me and secures him between her legs. The slut!

Unable to sit still, I shuffle through the radio stations, never staying on one station for long. Normally, this drives Dee insane but today she leaves me to it, only reminding me of why we’re almost home in the first place. Any other time and she’d be swatting my hand away to make sure I leave the radio on one station, but today she knows I need the constant distraction.

Max, my wounded sun. Bright and beautiful, but jaded from life.

I let him push me away a couple days ago, but I’ve decided I’m not staying away. I need him in my life. I need to know he’s okay. I need to know he still loves me. And I need to know what happened in his life that’s left him so jaded.

And if he doesn’t love me? Tough shit—I’m not giving him much of a choice in the matter.

I storm into Dee’s house, ready to give him the lecture of a lifetime only to find him gone. Apparently, he took off as soon as he heard I was coming back.

“He got the crap beat out of him pretty bad and he didn’t want you to see him like that,” Adam explains as I glare at him with my arms folded across of my chest.

“Stupid, arrogant, pigheaded, dipshit!”

“Shit!” Josie squeals. Of course, that’s the word she clings on to. “Shit, shit, shit!” Dee puts her hand over Josie’s mouth but it’s no use. Josie’s found a new favorite word and she can be pretty relentless when something entertains her.

“If you’ll stop teaching my daughter swear words, I’ll tell you what’s going on.”

I impatiently motion with my hands for Adam to talk as I sit there silently, my mouth going wider with every word out of his mouth.

Max left me, but he left me with almost every penny he had so he could continue to take care of me even when he wasn’t around. That beautiful, pigheaded, arrogant, thoughtful, dipshit. The last couple days haven’t been kind to him, and it’s all because he wants to protect me from himself.

From him! He’s the one who’s going to need protection and it’s going to be from me. The Jackass.

Rather than talking it out like normal human beings in a relationship, he runs away from me. I get running, I really do, but I’m not letting him run away from me anymore. I’m not letting him run away from us. Not ever again. We’re in this—whatever this is—together. I don’t understand what he wants to protect me from, but I’m hell bent on making him aware that I’m more than capable of taking care of myself and him. I want to take care of him—you know, after I beat him into oblivion for breaking my heart.

After a quick goodbye that leaves Josie pouting, I get in my car and head to the address Adam gave me. I try to listen to music but my mind is buzzing so loudly, I can’t hear anything else. I hadn’t realized he’d given me all of his money, but I really shouldn’t be surprised. Feeling my eyes water and my mouth dry, I turn down the air conditioner, fully intending on blaming both on the cold air blowing in my face. I clear my throat and try to focus on the task at hand rather than the guilt I feel for letting Max push me away. Worry only leads to premature grey hairs, like I need them. Insomnia I can deal with, but not the damn greys.

I clutch onto the steering wheel as my mind continues to reel at thoughts of Max. My Max, who is always thinking of ways to spoil me. Sometimes it seems like I’m his first and last thought and everything in between. I drive on autopilot and allow my mind to zone out to thoughts of Max.

“You know you can take the blindfold off and I still won’t know where we’re going,” I complain although I secretly love the mystery behind our early morning drive.

I hear Max laugh beside me and feel my heart warm when he takes my hand and squeezes it.

“Almost there,” he says for the third time since we left our apartment.

“A hint?” I say again, practically jumping in my seat on the passenger side of Max’s car. “Just one hint.”

He sighs and I smile, knowing I’ve won this little battle. “You think you’ve seen the sunrise, but never quite like this.”

“Okay, Riddler. That wasn’t helpful at all.” I pout while I mull over his words.

We’re gonna see the sunrise, but in a different way. So, we’re not going to the beach. There are no mountains in South Florida. So what does that leave?

“Scuba diving?” I ask and he lets out a loud bark of laughter as I feel the car stop. Does that mean we’re here or that he’s at another red light?

“Yeah, Hay,” he agrees, brushing the hair away from my face so he can kiss the side of my mouth. “We’re gonna see the sunrise from twenty feet under water. The crepes you made might get a bit soggy, but it’s the latest thing.” I’d made crepes early this morning when Max told me he was taking me somewhere as a surprise the night before. God forbid I let either of our stomachs grow hungry and ruin whatever he has planned for us.

I stick my tongue out at him and yelp when he bites it, but sink into his kiss, giving him my soul.

“We’re here,” he says, after ending our kiss and already, I miss his breath on me.

He gently takes off my blindfold and I blink several times to get my eyes accustomed to the predawn light, but I still don’t see much of anything. Unless a dark, open field is my big surprise.

I look back at him curiously and smile when I imagine us making love on a blanket with nothing but nature around us as the sun rises. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for another kiss.

“I love it,” I tell him between kisses and feel his lips turn into a smile.

“I’m glad, but you haven’t seen your surprise yet. Over there.” He points to our left and I squint my eyes, only seeing the silhouette of something very large. Whatever it is, it is so large, it takes up a huge amount of space on the ground and in the air. We walk toward the direction of my surprise and I see what seems to be some sort of flame floating inside the silhouette.

Max takes my hand and leads me towards it and I can’t even begin to guess what it is, but I feel my heartbeat quicken as we get closer. My eyebrows furrow together and I stare in the direction of my surprise with intense focus. I stop suddenly when finally, I see it and my smile builds slowly across my face.

A hot air balloon!

I squeal and jump then throw myself at Max, hugging him with my arms and legs.

“You like?” he asks.

“I love! But nowhere near as much as I love you.” My breath catches in my throat as I pull Max the rest of the way towards our hot air balloon.

The desire to explore the balloon is strong, but not as strong as my need to hug Max. So I hug him, molding our bodies flat against one another. A soft cough interrupts our embrace and Max spins around with me still latched onto him like a koala. After the mandatory introductions are made and safety instructions are told, we climb into the basket of our hot air balloon with our guide and basket of crepes.

Max puts his arms around my waist and I lean into him as we softly float off the ground. Once we’re in the air, I feel it—the freedom I envy every time I see a bird in flight. I watch the city grow smaller as we float higher and higher in the atmosphere. The wind tickles my nose and I close my eyes to enhance the scent of the fresh, warm air. This is freedom. In Max’s arms, I watch the sunrise as it paints the clear sky in an explosion of orange, red, and gold.

This is to live. To love.

I get out of the car on shaky legs and take each step toward the hotel deliberately. Max still loves me. In his deluded mind, he’s taking care of me just as he’s done since the first day I met him. Now, I just have to convince him that I still want him regardless of what he’s hiding from me.

Maybe his secrets should scare me. Maybe I’m the one living some deluded dream, but he’s the hero of my story. The only time he’s ever hurt me was when he got this ignorant idea that he had to protect me. His preconceived idea of nobility sucks.

I exit the elevator, turn to his room and on a long exhale, knock on his door.

Pacing like a caged animal, I try to convince myself I’m not waiting for Hayley. Not at all. In fact, I don’t want her here at all, screwing with my plan and reminding me of how much I miss her. So instead of pleasure, I tell myself I feel nothing but annoyance when I hear the knock at my door. I know who I’ll find before I open it and for a millisecond I consider not opening it at all. Instead I mask my uncertainty with a cocky smile and allow my eyes to stare at Hayley long enough to make her squirm before she waltzes into my hotel room and back into my life.

She smells like spring—fresh and sweet with an earthy undertone. My fingers itch to touch her, to trace the outline of her face and run my fingers through her hair. Her lips, slanted into a scowl, beg for my attention.

I inch away from her, giving me enough space to clear my head and watch her as she sits on my bed and crosses her legs. I doubt she means to be seductive, but that’s exactly what she is. My gaze follows down the hem of her skirt and over her long legs, and I immediately harden when my eyes trace back over her body and land on her partly open mouth.

I know that body—I’ve studied and worshipped that body for countless hours. I know where to touch to hear her sigh and where to suck to make her moan. I know what makes her writhe and what makes her take flight in ecstasy.

Her eyes, dancing with worry, watch me and I find myself moving further away from her. She has to leave before I break and forget what I’m protecting her from.