Never Let Go (Take My Hand) (11 page)

“I hope nobody’s been servicing
you
while I was servicing this car,” Dexter added. Rolling my eyes,
I plastered a conceited smirk on my face.

“Mate, remember that’s my sister yeah?”

Dexter chuckled when a shiver tickled Chris’ spine.

“Sure. Sorry, man.” He so wasn’t. “So seriously, why
are you smiling so hard? Not that I’m complaining.”

“Rachel’s having girls. How cool is that?”

“Awesome,” Dexter said with an impressed nod.

“She’ll make a great mum,” Chris said solemnly,
sweeping the floor with his eyes. I pondered if he was wondering whether he
would ever get chance to meet her babies… but I didn’t say it out loud.

“She also said we should all head to Blackpool for a
weekend. A last trip together before she ‘pops’ as she put it. What do you
think?” I asked brightly, hoping to lighten the sudden shift in mood.

“Wow. Not been to Blackpool in
years
. Remember when we used to go as kids, Emmie?”

“Yeah. Jocelyn had an annual convention there for
something or another, and Dad would take us on the donkeys while she was busy.”

“No. Dad would take
you
on the donkeys. I was a teenager by then. Far too cool to be
seen riding on the back of one those bad boys.
I
was too busy trying to sneak out of Dad’s sight so I could flirt
with girls.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, giggling. “Sounds about right.”

“But yeah, I think it sounds like a great idea.”

“I’m in,” Dexter added. “Never been to Blackpool. I
hear it’s supposed to be the UK version of Vegas?”

Chris and I burst into violent fits of laughter
simultaneously.

“I’d forget you ever heard that,” I said, breathless
from laughing. “Or you’re going to be severely disappointed when you get
there.”

“We’re going to have to wait a few weeks though. I’ll
need to see if Ernie will come back and cover this place for a couple of days.
Next week we have an appointment with my solicitor and-”

“Solicitor?” I interrupted.

“It’s time to sign the garage over to you, Emmie.” My
heart sank – slithering slowly down into my stomach where it stopped
beating for a few seconds. “I’ve got some forms in the office you need to sign
too. I’m in the process of having you added to the business bank account.”

“We have plenty of time yet,” I argued, dismissing
him.

“Emmie,” he breathed, walking over to me and placing
his hand on my shoulder. “We don’t
know
how
much time we’ve got. I want everything in place before it happens, or before I
get too sick to think clearly.”

“O-okay,” I croaked, swallowing the choking lump of
sadness swelling in my throat.

“But tell Rach to count us in. It’ll be good to have
something to look forward to.”

“Great,” I agreed, forcing a smile. “Now get back to
work. That car won’t fix itself!” I ordered, calling behind me as I sauntered
into the office with an authoritative point of my finger.

“Yes, boss!” they chirped at the same time.

Then, closing the door behind me, I sank down to my
desk and let out a silent cry for my brother. I miss him already.

Dexter

“
Hey
, sweet cheeks,” I greeted, wrapping
Aunt Sarah in my arms when she turned up at our house. “You look beat.”

“Double shift,” she admitted. “But I’m almost done
with re-training and I’ve been looking into being a community midwife when I’m
finished,” she continued, releasing herself from our hug and walking over to
the couch.

“And what’s the difference?”

“It means I’d spend most of my time working in the
community – assisting home births, visiting new moms, carrying out
routine check ups in doctors surgeries…” she explained. “The hospital’s great,
but I’m not liking being hold up inside all day. I think I’d rather be ‘out
there’.”

“Cool,” I agreed. “Coffee?”

“Please, honey.”

Nodding, I turned to head into the kitchen. However
when I heard the front door open, I paused by the doorjamb and looked back.

“Doll?” I inquired, noticing Emily walking into the
house with her father trailing behind her.

“My dad’s going to be staying with us for a few days,”
she told me. “Hey, Sarah,” she added when she saw her sitting on the couch.

“I’ve left Jocelyn,” Derek announced. Well that was
just about the smartest decision I think the asshole has ever made. Don’t get
me wrong I’m pleased Emily’s working it out with him, but it’s going to take a
lot of effort on
his
part for me to
ever believe he’s good enough to be a part of her life. “She’s stopped all my
cards – told the bank they were stolen. But as soon as I sort access to
my money out, I’ll check into a hotel.”

“You can’t stay here,” Aunt Sarah piped up, standing
from her seat. I flashed her a ‘what the fuck’ look but she waved me off with
her hand. “There’re only two rooms here. I have a spare – it makes more
sense you come and stay with me.”

“Um…” Derek mumbled.

“Sarah you don’t have to do that,” Emily said. “You
don’t even know him.”

“He made you, so he can’t be that bad,” she answered
with that smile of hers that renders people unable to say ‘no’ to her. “Derek
yes?”

“Yes,” he said, holding out his hand as she walked
closer.

“I’m Sarah - Dexter’s aunt,” she conceded, shaking his
hand. “There. Now we know each other.”

“Well,
Sarah
,”
Derek said, sounding her name out on his tongue. “That’s awfully nice of you,
thank you.”

“I only stopped by for a coffee and a quick catch up
with my boy here. I’ll be heading home soon so you can follow in your car if
you’d like?”

“Sounds good. I’m very grateful.”

“So things aren’t going well at home?” she went on to
ask Derek, donning her agony aunt cape. I turned for the kitchen and cocked my
head for Em to follow. Once we were alone I turned to her with the most baffled
expression on my face.

“What the
fuck
was
that?”

“I have
no
idea.
Probably just Sarah being Sarah. You know she was born with a need to help
others.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I have to say I’m kinda relieved. I
don’t think Percy would feel comfortable servicing his daughter while he slept
downstairs.”

“You’re impossible.” She rolled her big blue eyes at
me but her smile betrayed the irritation she was trying to project. “I can’t
believe he’s left her. It feels weird. Not bad – I mean I’m in no way
upset… it’s just strange.”

“Best move he’s ever made if you ask me.”

“I didn’t,” she retorted. But then she smiled again
and I knew she wasn’t really pissed. “You should leave for the garage soon. You
have your assessor coming again in an hour. I’ll follow when they’ve left.”

“Plenty of time. I want to give you a ride today.”
In more ways than one,
my immature brain
silently tacked on. She looked up at me warily. She still doesn’t feel
comfortable on the back of my bike. “Come on, doll. Jenny’s as good as new.” I
gripped her at the waist, pulling her into me and burying my head in her neck.
“I’ve been dying to feel you behind me again. You’re sexy as fuck when you
straddle my bike.”

“Fine,” she agreed reluctantly. “But I refuse to open
my eyes.”

“That’s your prerogative, doll,” I whispered into her
neck before trailing soft kisses along her jaw and then settling my lips on
hers. “Fuck,” I groaned into her mouth. “I wish we were alone right now.” I tugged
at her hand and pulled it down to my crotch. She smiled against my lips when
she felt my throbbing cock straining against the fabric of my pants, then after
giving my tongue one last flick with hers, she pulled away.

“I have coffee to make,” she said with a mischievous
smile, knowing damn well she was tormenting the fuck out of me. “Here,” she
tacked on, handing me a packet of cookies. “Take these through.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I saluted her, taking the cookies in one
hand and adjusting my untimely bulge with the other. Don’t worry, I didn’t
touch my naked junk while handling food. I did it through my jeans I swear. “I
love you, doll,” I felt compelled to add before I left the room. Sometimes I
have these moments where I just
have
to
tell her… and no, they’re not just when I have an erection.

**********

“
Fuck
,” I
whispered into the empty room. Chris and I had been for the results of his
latest brain scan and even though we both planned to head into work afterwards,
I came up with a bullshit excuse about leaving my cell at home so I could get
away from him for an hour. Yeah I know it wouldn’t take a whole hour to grab
it, so that’s why I planned to spend an hour ‘searching’ for it.

As I flopped back onto the couch and pinched the
bridge of my nose with my fingers, it came. The itch. The craving. The
desperation to forget…

“FUCK FUCK FUCK!” I blasted into the silent air.

This morning was just too much. We’d all laid so much
silent hope on Chris’ chemo. Stupidly, I don’t think any of us had any doubt
that it would work. But it hasn’t. The tumor is still growing and the
likelihood is, Chris probably won’t be with us at Christmas this year.

The worst part? I still had to break it to Emily.

I planned to just sit around until I felt composed
enough to face the world again, but with every blink visions of beautiful white
lines and glasses of clear liquid numbness overwhelmed my mind. So, I did the
only thing that ever manages to stop me from thinking – I changed into my
sweats, headed outside and ran.

I didn’t have a destination in mind. In fact, I didn’t
even recognize half the streets I flew through. I just ran. I ran until my
thighs began to burn and my chest started to ache. I ran until all I could
focus on was my rapid breathing and my numb toes. I ran until I couldn’t
remember why I was even running.

Then my cell chimed in my pocket, dragging me back to
reality.

“Hey, doll,” I answered breathlessly after seeing
Emily’s name illuminate the screen.

“Where are you? Chris said you came home.”

“Where are
you
?”
I returned quizzically.

“At home. Waiting for you.”

Shit.

“I just came out for a run. I’ll make my way back
now.”

“Are you okay?” she asked instead of saying goodbye.
Of course, Emily is the only person that can read me like a fucking book.

“Not really,” I admitted. The truth – that’s the
only way our future together would survive. “We’ll talk when I get home. Ten
minutes max.”

“Ok. Don’t ever forget that I love you.” Hearing those
words, my heart vibrated in my chest – reminding me why I was alive. I
remember the very first time I said those words to her, and no matter how hard
I pushed, she never forgot.

And neither will I.

“Ditto,” I replied, emotion clogging my throat and
making coherent words impossible.

After tucking my cell back in my pocket, I doubled
over and braced my hands on my knees while I dragged in a few much needed
breaths. Then, straightening up, I stretched my neck from side to side and set
off back to break my girls heart.

“I was so worried when you weren’t here,” Emily said
the second I stepped through the front door, throwing herself onto me. “You’ve
just
been running?” she questioned,
weighing me up and down with an intense gaze.

‘Just’ running.

“Yes, doll. I swear it. Just needed to clear my head.”

“But you thought about it right? About using again?”

“Yes,” I breathed, guilt causing my voice to crack.
“Yes I did. It was
all
I could think
about so that’s why I went running – to distract myself.”

“Thank you for being honest with me.”

“The worst part was knowing it’s
always
gonna be there. That goddamn itch. I just… wait,” I
interrupted myself. “How did you know something was wrong with me?”

“Chris sent me home. He was worried about you. He told
me, Dex – about the scan results.”

Is it really fucking selfish that I was relieved right
then that I didn’t have to be the one to do it?

“I’m sorry, doll,” I murmured, as if it was all my
fault. I couldn’t help it. Whenever I saw pain glistening in her beautiful blue
eyes I felt guilty – guilty because I couldn’t take it away.

“It’s all happening so fast. I just feel… lost I
guess.”

“Emily,” I breathed, pressing myself against her and
cupping her face in my hands. “I remember once you told me if I ever got lost,
you’d find me and bring me back. I know this shit is hard, but right now we’re
all still here. There’s still life to be lived and feelings to feel. I won’t
let you get lost, doll. I won’t let you forget what it’s like to feel the
good
things in your life.” Leaning
forward, I pressed my lips to hers. I didn’t kiss her, didn’t taste her… I just
closed my eyes and pressed myself to her like I would die if I broke free. “Let
me bring you back, Emily.”

After laying another silent kiss on her slightly
quivering lips, I held out my hand and she wordlessly took it, letting me lead
her upstairs to the bedroom.

When we reached the bedroom she stood by the bed,
biting her bottom lip while waiting for my next move. I took a moment just to
stare at her. She is so beautiful – you wouldn’t believe just how much
unless you saw her for yourself. Her thick red waves fell bountifully over her
shoulders, stopping just above her breasts. The red is a perfect compliment to
the bright blue of her eyes and her pale, milky skin and I found myself biting
my own lip as my mouth started watering, desperate to taste her.

“These need to come off now,” I said after closing in
on her, brushing her arms through the fabric of her shirt. She smiled as I
started unpopping the buttons and when I rolled the flimsy material over her
shoulders, she shrugged her arms out and let gravity take it to the floor.

Next I unclasped her bra, letting her perfect breasts
pop free beneath the lace. My breath caught, just like it always did when I saw
them, and I couldn’t help bending down to kiss them. She moaned and arched her
back when my tongue licked a trail back up to her neck before settling on her
lips. I tangled my tongue with hers, tasting her, savouring her, devouring her
mouth like it was my last meal.

I broke free for just a second to lift my shirt over
my head and tug down my sweats. I stepped out of them quickly, revealing my
rock hard dick and the fact I was wearing no underwear today. She raised an
eyebrow and then smiled suggestively at me, making my dick twitch in
desperation.

Easy,
Percy…

I looked down to the pants Emily was still wearing and
as if hearing my thoughts, she began tugging them down, steadying herself with
one hand on my shoulder while she stepped out of them.

“Shower,” I ordered. “Now.”

I needed a shower after my run but I also needed the
naked body of this beautiful girl pressed against mine. Now. So if I was
showering, she was coming with me. In the bathroom, I checked the temperature
of the water with my hand before stepping under the cleansing spray and holding
my hand out for Emily to join me. I planned to wash her slowly and explore
every inch of her with my soapy hands… but I needed her in bed. I needed to be
inside her and I needed to be able to roll over and hold her close when I’d
finished devouring her.

Back in the bedroom, and biting her lip again, she
moved backwards until the mattress hit the back of her legs and then she
flopped onto it, spreading herself out. I climbed eagerly on top of her,
stopping again just to absorb the delicious view beneath me.

“I want to lick every fucking inch of you,” I said before
my tongue darted out to tease her nipple. I teased and sucked for a while,
making her hips buck beneath me and the sweetest moans rise from her throat.
When I’d finished, I moved on to the other, kneading the soft flesh with my
hands as I brought her nipple to a stiff peak in my mouth.

When I said I wanted to lick every inch of her I meant
it. After giving each breast one last kiss, I licked my way down to her belly
button and explored the dip with the tip of my tongue. She writhed against me,
silently begging me for more. But I wasn’t done teasing her yet. To me, she
wouldn’t be ready until she was screaming my name and pleading with me to fill
her.