Never Let Go (Devil's Chariots Motorcycle Club Book 2) (6 page)

CHAPTER EIGHT

Bethany watched as Johnny paced. She was still trying to jolt her mind into being awake so that she could process all of the stuff he was saying, but so far it wasn't working. Being pregnant and trying to give up caffeine wasn't very conducive to being functional.

“You want me to lie?” It was all she could seem to make of the things he was saying.

“Not lie,” Johnny said emphatically. “Just omit some details.”

In Bethany's world, omitting details was lying. It was just the safer way of lying, meaning you had an out on a technicality; but, it was still lying.

The sound of the bikes was getting closer, and she saw the beads of sweat forming at Johnny's brow. He was seriously worried and upset. How could she not do what he asked of her? But then again, she wondered why there was a need to. Was this club of guys that important? Did they mean more than her?

“And what am I omitting?” she asked sarcastically.

Truth was, she felt a stab of pain as they talked about it. It was almost like he was telling her she wasn't good enough and had to be a secret. He loved her, but no one could know.

“Just the part where there's anything but platonic friendship between us,” he stated, and the knife in her gut twisted deeper.

***

He saw her reaction and knew she was hurt. God, he wanted to comfort her, but he couldn't. Not now. He knew that Beth didn't understand or fully grasp the rules of the club or the consequences of what he'd done. Someday, maybe, he could explain.

However, as the roar of the bikes got closer, he knew this wasn't the day. Today, he had to face the consequences of the decisions he had made and would continue to make because in the end it seemed it had no real choice. His heart had decided to make that call for him.

“Maybe that's all there should be,” Beth mumbled.

Johnny heard her, but chose to pretend he didn't. It was her anger talking. They'd discuss it, and everything else, later.

The bikes were on her street, and it sounded as though most of them had opted to come after him. He hoped the neighbors didn't say anything. Beth had too much to deal with already and didn't need even further fallout from this whole stupid mess.

As the bikes approached the house and began to quiet, he smiled at the woman he loved. This was it. The confrontation he had feared. She looked angry more than anything. Johnny hoped and prayed that she stuck to his story, but he wasn't very confident. She wasn't happy with him.

He felt his heart race until the moment he heard the knock. That was when it seemed to stop beating.

***

“Hello, Bethany,” Phil spoke softly. “Is Johnny here by chance?”

The guys watched, as she stepped back and opened the door to welcome them in. Chris shook his head without being noticed. He had hoped that Johnny would be gone. Or that they'd pretend he wasn't here. Something. Anything that could stop this.

“Phil,” Johnny nodded in the direction of his brothers, “Aaron, Chris, Stan.” He stopped with Stan, mainly because he saw the anger on his face.

The guys made their way into the living room, and everyone found a place to sit, even if it meant the floor.

“I hope you are doing well, Bethany,” Phil asked, as he grabbed the recliner that had held her only moments before.

“For the most part I am okay,” Beth answered. “Would you guys like something to drink?”

Everyone told Beth what they wanted, and Chris volunteered to go into the kitchen and help her. He knew better than to stay for what was about to happen. It was pointless. No one cared about his opinion, and he had a shitty way of presenting it anyway.

As they walked out of the room, he heard Stan begin the conversation that they had delayed.

“So Johnny,” he snapped, “what the fuck makes it okay to betray your oath and your job to bed a brother's old lady?”

***

Johnny had to force himself not to react to Stan's callous and cold accusation. He knew his brothers, and Stan was always the rudest and most outdated, still living by the old school club rules and thoughts.

Besides, if he reacted in anger or hostility, then it would escalate what was already a problem. He wanted to calm things down before it got there.

“You assume a lot Stan,” Johnny said. Lying wasn't on his agenda. He didn't want to tell a direct lie to his brothers, but he didn't want them to know all of the facts. Omitting. Safer for everyone.

“I assume you left your job,” Stan began and the other guys nodded. “I assume you are here. I assume that you were told to do the job and not be here.”

Johnny sat there for a minute, trying to decide how to approach this. Stan didn't say anything that wasn't true. He had left his job. He was at Beth's. He wasn't supposed to be at Beth's.

“That doesn't mean all of the things you might think it does,” he answered. “But you are right on those points.” Johnny had to acknowledge the facts, or they might not believe the rest. It was in his best interest anyway. It wasn't like he could deny any of it.

“So then what does it mean?” Aaron spoke up, hoping to diminish Stan's role.

***

Beth could hear them in the other room even with Chris' rambling beside her. They were making coffee and tea and glasses of water for the guys in the club. She was trying to keep herself busy, but the sound of that hateful asshole in the next room couldn't be drowned out.

“I don't understand it myself,” Chris said out of nowhere, and Beth tried to figure out what he was talking about. “The guys,” his head nodded towards the living room. “I don't understand why this is such a big deal.”

Beth wanted to confide in Chris, and she felt like she could, like he would understand her situation and be supportive. However, she didn't. Even if he knew it was wrong, he was still bound by the same oath as the rest of them. She had learned many times over that the oath would be adhered to, regardless of consequences.

“It's loyalty,” she answered, as if she didn't think it was the dumbest thing on the planet.

“Yes, but who can help who they love?” He smiled at her.

Everything in her wanted to talk and admit her love. She wanted to tell him all about her and Johnny; but, she knew better. Besides, Johnny had asked her to play a role. Omit. Lie.

“Love? That's a bit extreme don't you think?” she felt her entire body cringe at the lie.

“So it's not love?” Chris seemed surprised and disappointed.

“I'm in a bad place and having a friend is important,” Beth stated the obvious. “Don't try to twist it around in your head,” she snapped.

Walking back out of the kitchen with a handful of glasses, Beth felt bad. Not just for lying about her need for Johnny, but also for being rude to Chris. She felt like he was the only one in this mess who was on her side, and she'd talked down to him as if he were stupid. It wasn't done to be mean but because she had to. Someday maybe he'd understand.

***

She was lying and Chris knew it. She wasn't just looking for or needing a friend. She was kind of rude about it, but he understood. It was the way this had to be. She couldn't trust any of them. They would destroy her and what mattered the most.

Chris wanted to help support her and back her up. He wanted her and Johnny to be able to live happily. She was pregnant, and she needed someone who was going to be there for her. Someone who would love her.

Standing in Beth's kitchen, Chris tried to decide how he could help. Part of him believed he could walk into the living room and present a case for the two of them that would leave the club with no choice but to accept it all. But he knew how he was. He'd stutter and mumble, and they'd treat him like he didn't matter at all.

He was going to try. He was going to take a stand and do something right for a change. He'd rather they attack him than to go after Johnny and Beth.

Chris gave himself a pep talk, picked up the cups he was supposed to carry, and headed towards the living room—ready to take on the world. Or at least the world that he knew. However, just as he walked in, prepared to speak his mind, Phil's phone rang, and the room was silenced.

CHAPTER NINE

Johnny knew something was up by the look on Phil's face. The way his jawline tensed and his mouth twisted slightly. Moments after answering, Phil took his phone and stepped outside of the house. That left everyone else to entertain themselves. Johnny hoped they did so by speculating on the conversation and not on his relationship with Beth.

He knew that he'd upset her by asking her to lie. It wasn't a lie, really; but, in her eyes it was. Shame. Embarrassment. All of the typical feminine emotions. The problem was that it wasn't a typical request, and they weren't in a typical situation.

In fact, this was beyond anything he'd ever imagined having to face. Truth be known, Johnny had never imagined himself being serious about any one person. He wasn't that type. The club girls were more his thing. Love ‘em and leave ‘em.

But Beth had done something to him, and while he didn't regret it, he also wasn't too fond of the end result—especially since that end result meant that he had to face the wrath of the guys he considered family.

Watching her gave him a way to occupy the time. Apparently, his brothers had decided to postpone the discussion until Phil returned. He was thankful for that much.

She was sitting in a corner, and she looked like she'd rather be anywhere else. There was a smile on her face, but it was fake. He could see the pain in her eyes. The heartache. It tugged at a place in him that he didn't know existed a year ago.

Beth had been through so much. She'd had to bury her husband, and she'd known that it was because he was in the club. She'd had to face life alone. Then, she found out she was pregnant. Now, the same club she blamed for losing Dan was causing her to lose another. His heart ached at the pain he was causing her. However, there wasn't very much that he could do about it in the moment. The guys needed time to accept them before he tried to force it.

***

Chris couldn't help but watch them both. Phil was outside on the phone, and no one was really talking; so, he observed. What most would have seen was a woman who was smiling and friendly and a man who was in the spotlight. However, Chris saw more.

Beth wasn't happy. She was smiling and friendly—probably because she was taught to be that way regardless. Her eyes showed sorrow, and she wouldn't look at Johnny.

He, however, looked openly anguished—like his heart was breaking—and he couldn't take his eyes off of Beth.

What Chris saw was love. Looking at his brothers, he wanted to ask them what the fuck they had against love. However, it wasn't his place; so, he kept his mouth shut and sat there hoping to figure out a way to help them both.

***

Stan wanted to follow Phil outside and ask what the fucking hold up was; but, he knew better. It was not his place; but, he was just tired of sitting in this fucking house, waiting on something to happen.

Back in the day, there was no way the club would have acted like this. It was a bunch of fucking pussy ass men he was working with—the new one especially. He was going to be a problem where this situation was concerned. He was too soft.

Stan wondered where all the men had gone. He didn't understand why suddenly everyone had to be concerned with hurting each other. It was fucking bullshit to him. They were a motorcycle club. That meant honor, loyalty, and most definitely, not being soft.

He began to walk around a little. The house felt claustrophobic to him. All he wanted was to leave and be done with it all. They had jobs to do. Jobs that were far more important and lucrative than sitting in this living room, sipping coffee, and sorting out a love story. They just needed to take care of Johnny and move on.

***

The phone call had been over for about five minutes, but Phil wasn't ready to face them all. He had to make sense of what he'd heard and what had been said so that he could handle it accordingly. That left him standing outside of Bethany's house, pacing.

He could guess the reaction from each of them. He knew what they'd say and if he took a vote he could come pretty damn close to guessing the results. It wasn't like he didn't understand the situation completely, or what was about to happen. He knew all of it very well.

They needed Johnny for this—desperately—which meant that they'd have to table the discussion of him and Dan's old lady. Not because it wasn't important, but because it wasn't as important as what he'd just heard on the phone.

Stan would be unhappy. Hell, most of them would be. However, it was for the good of the club at this point. It was what they needed to do to be able to handle the task at hand. Hopefully, they would understand and concede—if he could make himself step inside and tell them.

***

Johnny heard the door open and instinctively looked in that direction. The expression on Phil's face worried him. What the hell had the phone conversation been about? He looked almost panicked. It was unlike Phil to panic or worry over very much at all.

Johnny wanted to go to him and find out what was up, but he knew better. Something had happened on that phone call that was going to affect them all. The last time he'd seen Phil looking like that, they'd been told that Dan was gone.

The mere thought of that moment was like being shot in the gut to Johnny. It'd been his fault because it was him they were after. He prayed it wasn't another death. He didn't think the club could take any more tragedy.

***

“So back to what the fuck to do about Johnny,” Stan piped up, completely unaware of the facial expressions of his makeshift leader.

“Not now,” Phil said.

Stan stood from the chair he was on and began to try and argue his point. He wanted this out of the way, and he wanted Johnny dealt with so that they could leave this godforsaken town and move on.

“I said not now.” Phil's voice became stern enough that everyone became quiet.

As much as they all differed in their opinions on situations like the one they faced, they all agreed on one thing. Respect. Phil had earned it, and the tone of his voice all but demanded it. So, they gave it.

“What's going on?” Aaron piped up.

Phil looked around at the group of guys eagerly awaiting his answer, and it scared him. He knew they'd be ready for any kind of battle, but he wasn't sure he wanted to risk losing another brother. It was still too soon.

“We need to talk,” he answered and then spoke no more.

***

Bethany was tired of them all being in her house. Couldn't they just pass their judgment and move on? Now everyone was silent and staring at that one guy she barely knew. Even Johnny seemed to care more about his so called family than he did her.

She was over it and wanted it over completely. At this point, she didn't really much care if she ended up with the guy or not. She had spent far too much of her life with this group of fucking losers controlling what happened. It was time to end it.

Her plan had been to ensure them that she didn't want their brother. She had been lonely, and shit had happened, and now she was over it. However, no one was paying attention to anything except that guy they called their leader.

“Can I say something?” she said, hoping she could put an end to the problems and the company.

***

Johnny's head darted in Beth's direction. She didn't realize that something serious was going on. She was still stuck on the situation between them, and he didn't blame her. He just wished she'd pay more attention. Mostly, he wondered what she had planned to say. He knew he wouldn't hear it because they were going to shut her up; but, he was curious.

She wouldn't look at him. She was really upset, and it hurt him to know he was the reason.

“Actually, this is a private discussion,” Aaron answered before anyone else had a chance to.

“It's my house,” she glared at the guy who had just spoken to her. “Not that it matters,” she mumbled and stood to walk off.

“We can leave,” Johnny volunteered and hoped it would ease the tension.

Unfortunately, Johnny's comment garnered a glare from Beth that told him she was even more upset than he'd originally thought.

“No worries, I'll go,” she snapped and stormed upstairs towards her room.

Johnny knew better than to follow her. That would show far too much intimacy between them. He had to let her walk away and know that later he would pay the price. Fucking women. This was why he didn't want to get involved with them.