Nepenthe (Bracing for Love #2) (17 page)

“Nice to meet all of you,” she smiles.

“You wanted to go eat, Luce?” She nods, glancing back and forth between Olivia and me. “Okay. Give us a second, and we'll be ready to go.” I drag her into my room, closing the door behind us. “I told you,” I whisper. “You're going, right?” I add as I pick up my jacket from where I threw it on the bed earlier.

“If you want me to.” I give her a look and she laughs. “That'll be a yes. I'll go drop these off at my apartment and grab my hoodie, so I won't freeze.” Olivia goes to walk past me, but I wrap my fingers around her wrist, stopping her. One look at me and she gives me a reassuring smile. “It'll be fine. Maybe even fun.”

“I hope so.”

I let her go and go back to face the group. Why in the hell would Patrick let Luce surprise me? Or Jon, for that matter. They both know I hate surprises, but Luce loves them, so maybe that's why they kept silent.

“Who is she?” Lucy asks the second Olivia is out the door. “Is she still coming?”

“Yeah, she lives across the hall. She's Olivia.” I know what Lucy wants to know. Who Olivia is to me. When her eyes narrow, I add, “She's a friend, Luce.”

“Oh, well, I'm sorry we didn't call first. We aren't interrupting your plans, are we?”

“Not really.” Olivia reenters wearing her hoodie. “Ready?” I ask, and she nods. We all shuffle out. There's too many of us to all ride together, so Olivia and I ride in my car, following them to the usual restaurant we go to on the off chance my siblings do visit.

The radio is the only sound as we drive. I shouldn't be freaking out over having dinner with my siblings, but I am a little bit. I have to lie to all of them all at the same time. It's going to be hard and exhausting. We're seated quickly, Olivia and Patrick with me on my side of the table with Jon, Luce, and Grant on the other side.

Lucy wastes no time either. “Do you go to school with Corey, Olivia?” She can say what she will about us being annoying and overprotective, but she has it in her too a little bit.

“Not exactly. I'm a sophomore, so I'm a few years behind him. I'm going to become a therapist. You're a sophomore too, right?”

They talk about school for a few minutes before the waitress comes to take our drink order. Apparently satisfied for now, Lucy turns her attention to me. “What time do you have to go into work?”

“I don't work tonight.” Not a lie. Just because I'm not talking about the same job she is shouldn't matter too much.

“How are you doing in school?”

Olivia pokes my leg. She obviously thinks this would be a good time to tell them that I'm not in school. Should I? I could keep it from them a while longer still. I don't know if it's a good idea or not. What would my excuse be? I'm not telling them about the psychiatrist and the antidepressants. I refuse.

“Corey?” Lucy looks at me expectantly. I've taken too long to answer and everyone's looking at me instead of their menus.

“Fine,” I blurt out. “I'm doing fine, Luce. Are you all still passing your classes?” They nod. “What are y'all doing for spring break next month? Are you still going with Grant?”

“Yeah, we're going down south to the beach.” Lucy is excited, I can tell by the grin on her face.

“His parents will be there, right?” I don't want to think about my baby sister going to spend a week in a beach house alone with her boyfriend.

Lucy rolls her eyes, but Grant answers. “That's why she's coming. I'm ready for her to meet my parents and they love a good excuse to take a trip, so we're renting a beach house for the week. Should be fun.”

“And what are you two doing?” Neither of my brothers have mentioned their plans to me yet.

Jon speaks first. “I'm going to see Grandma and Grandpa since I didn't go for Christmas. Luce keeps guilt-tripping me about it.”

I try not to smile.

“I'm still working on my plans,” Patrick says. “What are you going to do?”

The waitress comes to take our orders before I can answer. When she leaves, Lucy throws another question at me. “Are you still coming to visit before we leave?”

“Yeah. That's the extent of my spring break plans.” I don't have a spring break now, so going down for a weekend before they do will have to work. I shift in my seat towards Olivia. “And what are you doing for spring break?”

“I thought about going home for a few days, actually.”

“Where are you from?” Patrick questions.

I listen while Olivia gives them a little background on herself. Of course, as our plates are served, conversation doesn't stay away from me. Thanks, Lucy.

“You should go with Jon, Corey, since you don't have any plans.”

“I can't,” I answer automatically, knowing that I have to work.

Lucy frowns. “Why not? You just said the only thing you were going to do is come see us.”

“I, uh.” Shit. Shit. Shit. Olivia pokes me in the leg again. I glare at her. No. I won't tell them, especially not in front of Grant. He may be Lucy's “serious” boyfriend, but he's not family.

“What's going on, Corey?” Patrick sets his fork down and watches me struggle with my words. He knows something's up. I've been quiet for too long.

“Everything is still okay, right?” Lucy adds.

My eyes scan the waiting faces of everyone at our table. My mind is completely blank. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. When my eyes land on Olivia, she subtly nods. Shit. She wants me to tell them.

“Corey?” The concern coats Lucy's voice and I hate it. I hate it so much.

My mouth has refused to work as I look to Lucy. The worry is there in her eyes, in her frown, in how she slowly sets her drink back on the table, her gaze locked on me. When my voice finally works, I want to groan with the stupid words that come from it. “What was the question again?” So many had been asked, I don't know which to answer.

“Are you okay?” Lucy repeats. “You know, because of before.” Her eyes skip to Olivia, knowing that we don't usually discuss family matters in front of other people. However, she never glances towards Grant.

“Did you tell him, Luce?” An undercurrent of rage flows from my mouth with my words.

Grant speaks, officially pissing me off. “Don't get mad with her.” His tone is deadly. “If it makes you feel better, she didn't tell me all of it at first. She wanted to talk to someone besides her brothers, who don't ever tell her anything upfront anyway. You can't blame her for that.”

A moment of silence passes. In a way, he
may
be right.

“Answer the question, Corey.” Patrick brings us back to the topic we started with.

Olivia leans over and whispers in my ear, “Just tell them. It'll be fine.” Under the table, I feel her arm on my leg, palm up like that night I admitted I needed help.

Reluctantly, I take her hand. “Before I say anything, things
are
fine. Nothing is wrong.” I keep my eyes on Lucy because she's the one I don't want worrying the most. “But, I'm not in school right now and I'm not working at the club either. I'm working with a carpenter full time.”

“But why? You're going to be behind and—”

“Luce, stop,” I interrupt. “I'm just taking a break to reevaluate.” Yeah, that sounds good. “I never wanted to use my political science degree. I went to grad school because I didn't know what else to do. If I'm going to spend money on a degree, shouldn't it be something I want?”

She wants to say something, her mouth is slightly parted, but she doesn't say anything.

“You're doing good, though?” Jon asks.

“Perfect.” Anything to stop talking about this.

“Then next time we ask, don't lie,” Patrick snaps. “How long have you not been in school?” My silence answers his question. Long enough. “You really piss me off, Corey. We've been calling you and checking in and all this time, you've been lying to us? You don't lie to family.”

“You lie to Luce all the time,” I throw back at him, trying to keep my temper in control.

“No, I don't. We might not tell her things right away, but if something changed in our lives, she would know. I wouldn't lie, especially if nothing is wrong.”

My eyes flicker to Grant. Even if I was going to tell them, I wouldn't say it in front of him.

“Luce would tell him anyway, so if you have something to say, you might as well say it now. And don't even use Olivia as an excuse either. We both know why.”

“What are you talking about?” Lucy and Jon both ask at the same time. Patrick didn't tell Jon? That surprises me.

Lucy sighs. “Why do we never talk about anything? You all never want to say anything to me, and it feels like everyone is keeping secrets or holding back. We're supposed to be a family. One that is there for one another, but how can we do that when no one is being completely honest?” Softer, she adds, “I'm tired of it being this way.” Grant reaches over and holds her hand.

“Everything is fine right now, Luce,” I say. That's not a lie either.

“Promise?”

I nod.

“Then what was Patrick talking about with Olivia?”

Kill me freaking now. “She was just there during one of the times when things weren't fine, okay? That's it. All we need to focus on is that we're all fine right now.”

“That doesn't really tell me anything.”

I groan. “Let it go, Luce. Patrick can tell you later, if you want. If we keep talking about this, it'll ruin dinner.”

“I think we've already accomplished that,” Jon chuckles.

“Then let's leave,” I snap.

“Corey,” Olivia says as she squeezes my hand. This is a fucking nightmare.

For the first time, Lucy gets really pissed and upset with me. More so than on the last anniversary of our parents' deaths when I upset her. “She knows, doesn't she? Whatever is going on with you, she knows all of it. You're such a hypocrite. I can't talk to Grant, and you won't talk to us, but she gets to know it all? We shouldn't be left out, Corey. We're your family. I guess that doesn't mean anything to you anymore.” She stands and rushes outside.

Grant goes to follow after her, but I stop him. “Don't even think about it.” His jaw locks as I follow after her. She's wiping away a tear when I walk up to her. “Luce,” I start, but she cuts me off.

“It feels like you're not even my brother anymore. And I'm not the only one who feels this way.” She stabs me right in the heart. “This has to do with football, doesn't it? Why can't you talk to us? It's not like this is about our parents. We're supposed to be there for each other, but you won't let us. Instead, you keep secrets and tell her and get pissed when I talk to Grant. I have to tell someone, Corey. I have to talk to someone besides you and Patrick and Jon. Wouldn't you rather it be him instead of one of my friends?

“I want my brother back. You haven't been you, and apparently, you're faking it or lying about something when you seem like normal again. What's going on? Please, just tell me.”

My head shakes. I can't. I can't tell her. No amount of pleading and begging will make me do it. Her shoulders fall in defeat. Her mouth opens, but I manage to find words to stop her. “Luce, I can't. I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't do it. Not today, at least. Take my word for it that I'm good right now. I'm working on things and that's all I can say. Talk to Grant about whatever you want, Luce. If it helps you, go ahead.”

“You won't tell me?” She's disappointed. There's nothing I can do about that.

“It's more of a can't. Not a won't.”

“Why?”

Closing my eyes, I sigh and take a deep breath. “You know I would do absolutely anything for you, right?” She nods. “I'm asking you to do this for me. Give me more time and leave this alone. Please.”

Her eyes are watery and she swallows hard as she thinks. “Okay, but you have to stop lying to us.”

I nod because I don't want to make a promise. When I lift my arms, she steps forward and gives me a hug. “I'm sorry, Luce. You don't have to worry about me, I promise.”

“Doesn't mean I won't.”

“I know. C'mon, let's go back inside.”

This is why I hate surprises.

THE DINNER NEVER really turned around, but that's okay. I got through to Lucy, I think, so I'm good for a while. When we get back, Olivia and I go our separate ways. I'm ready for bed. Maybe the medicine is helping a little because the next morning, while I feel like staying in bed all day, I don't want to either. Therefore, I take a deep breath, gather all my strength, and get up. It doesn't exhaust me too much to do so.

Around nine, there's a knock on my door. I almost don't answer it, but the only person it can be is Olivia. Why is she knocking? The bad feeling returns in my gut as I answer the door. I blink. My gaze flips back and forth between her and the football she's holding in her hands. What in the hell is she doing?

When I don't speak, she frowns. “You aren't even going to ask?” My non-reaction should be enough of a hint. “Fine,” she huffs. “I want you to throw this with me.”

Hell. No.

I slam the door closed in one fluid motion. Is she crazy? There's no way I'm touching that thing. She couldn't pay me a million dollars to hold it. Before I can take three steps away from the door, she's opening it.

“This is proof you need to see a real therapist. You took one look at this football and froze. You can't even throw it with me, much less speak when it's in the room.”