“Fine. But can't we talk about this without the gun?” I asked, getting ready to get up.
“Stay there! I didn't tell you to get up yet. And no, we can't talk without the gun because you won't listen to me without it.”
“I promise you that if you put the gun down I'll listen. You've made your point, all right?”
The phone rang, startling Nokea. She turned her head, and I dove forward and grabbed her waist. We fell back on the bed and the gun hit the floor. She screamed and kicked, as I pressed my body weight down on her so she couldn't move.
“Calm your ass down!” I yelled. “Do you want to know the truth?” We continued to struggle, and once she realized that she couldn't overpower me, she chilled. I looked her in the eyes and held her hands tightly above her head. “I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm sorry. I understand how upset you must be, but I can't change anything that's happened in the past. I love you, Nokea, but I'm not in love with you anymore. My heart is moving in a different direction. Every time I see you now, I think of you making love to Stephon. Every time I touch you, I think of him touching you. I thought if you and I got married it would take away my hurt, but I now know that our marriage would have been a mistake.” I let go of her hands and seemed to have her attention. I stood up and pulled her into my arms. “Aside of that, I can't stop being who I am. I love women too much to settle down, and I'm satisfied with the way things are in my life.”
“But what about all these years we've shared together? Don't they account for anything? Why do they feel like such a waste?”
“Our years together weren't a waste. We got a beautiful son, Nokea, and we've always had each other to depend on. I knew making love to you on my birthday was a bad idea, but I just couldn't help myself. You will always be in my heart, but I'm having a difficult time accepting your past relationship with Stephon. I know he had his way with you, and I can't deny the change I saw in the way you made love to me. I have to start looking at you in a different way.”
“I can't stress how my being with Stephon was a big mistake, but like you said, I can't change the past. After all the hurt we've caused each other, maybe we should consider just being friends.” She laid her head against my chest and cried. “I . . . I don't want to hurt anymore, Jaylin. I'm tired of pointing the finger at each other. Do you think we can get on with our lives in a sensible way without being together?”
“Of course I do. But if you ever put a gun on me again, I'll hurt you, Nokea. I don't take shit like that too lightly. You hear me?” I moved her away from my chest to confirm what I'd said.
“The gun wasn't loaded, silly. I just wanted you to listen to me.”
I stepped away from her and retrieved the gun from the floor. Once I removed the clip, I saw that it was empty. “You're a dangerous-ass lil' something. Where did you get this gun from and where are the bullets?”
“Jaylin, LJ and I live in this big house alone. If an intruder comes in here, I'm going to be ready. My father gave it to me and I keep the bullets in the drawer.”
I opened the drawer and pretended to place a few bullets in the clip. “If an intruder comes in, you can't do anything with an empty clip.”
“I took the bullets out before you came because I didn't know if you would try and take the gun away from me.”
“Well, don't mess around like that. One of us could have gotten seriously hurt.” I walked over to Nokea and put my arm around her waist. “I'm sorry things didn't work out between us, but you know everything happens for a reason.”
“I know. I'm a true believer in that as well, but I will never understand why they couldn't work out for us.”
“But in the meantime,” I shoved her back on the bed and placed the gun directly on her temple. “This is not a good feeling, is it?” She shook her head. “I don't care how damn upset you are with me, don't ever think about doing this to me again.” I pulled the trigger and she screamed loudly while holding her face in her hands.
She snatched the gun away from me. “Jaylin! There were bullets in there. You could have killed me!”
“I didn't feel like it this time. Maybe next time I will.” I snatched the gun and put it at the top of her closet. “Keep this damn thing up here. I would hate for my son to get a hold of it. Then I'd really have to kill you.”
“Whatever,” she said, still a bit shaken up.
Just so she didn't have to be alone tonight, Nokea packed a few things at her house and drove back to my place with me. While in the car, she told me how things went down with Pat. I really felt sorry for Nokea. Pat was the only true friend she had, and to lose her friendship and our relationship all in one day proved to me that she was a stronger woman than I thought.
When we got back to my house, Nanny B cooked a scrumptious dinner for us all, and made another one of her pineapple upside-down cakes. Since Heather had been calling me all week, I excused myself while they cleaned up the kitchen and went into my office to call her back.
“Yes,” I said, moodily. “What's up, Heather?”
“What's up is why haven't you called me? My husband has been making all kinds of threats and I thoughtâ”
“Well, you thought wrong. Your husband doesn't have enough courage to follow through with his threats, Heather. And I find it quite odd that you didn't know there were cameras throughout your house.”
“I didn't know. Really, you have to believe me,” she whined. “If I had known, I never would have asked you to come inside.”
“That's bullshit and you know it. All I can say is if you love him, you'd better warn him. If he pays me another one of his unexpected visits, shit is going to start happening to his ass.”
“If he wasn't away all the time, and sleeping around with other women, maybe sex between us wouldn't have happened.”
“Good to know that you used me. And I'll be happy to say that I used you too, so the game is over, Heather. Have a nice life and holla at me some other time.”
“Jaylin, wait! This was never a game for me. I'm feeling something for you. I haven't been happy for a long time, and being with you just makes me feel so wanted. I was thinking about having another rendezvous in your office again.”
“Don't think so, baby. I'll pass this time, but whenever you see your husband, don't forget to tell him what I said. Again, if you love him, you'd better stop him from coming around me. Goodbye,
I had hoped to hear from Scorpio before the day was over, but she hadn't called. Leslie was supposed to pick Mackenzie up tomorrow, but she left a message that something had come up, and asked if Mackenzie could stay the week with me. It didn't matter to me because Mackenzie wasn't going anywhere. I did call Leslie back to thank her, and reminded her to tell Scorpio to call me.
By eleven o'clock, I was ready to shut down. Nanny B and Nokea cleaned up the kitchen, and LJ and Mackenzie were knocked out in Mackenzie's room. LJ had his own room but it was truly a waste. Either he was in with Mackenzie, or bundled up with Nanny B or me.
I grabbed some extra blankets and pillows from the linen closet, and led Nokea to one of the guest-rooms.
“Sorry, but this is the only bedroom that doesn't have a TV. If you want to, you can come in my room and watch TV with me. I'll be up for a while.”
“Okay. I just might do that. But before I do anything, I would love to take a relaxing bath, if you don't mind.”
“Well, there are six bathrooms around here. Feel free to use any of them.”
“But yours is the only one with a Jacuzzi. Would it be okay if I relaxed in your tub?”
“Hey, not a problem. I'll go run some water for you now.”
I went into the bathroom and started Nokea's water. I dropped in a few flower-scented fragrance balls that dissolved in the water. They were Scorpio's, but I was sure Nokea wouldn't mind. As I sat on the bed and pulled off my shoes, Nokea stood in the doorway with a towel wrapped around her.
“Is it ready?” she asked.
I looked at her silky-smooth brown legs and thought dirty things. “Yeah, it's ready. Go see if the temperature is cool. I like it hot, but maybe you don't.”
She went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Then she poked her head out of the door. “I like it hot too, but this is scorching hot. Are you trying to burn me or something?”
“No. It's not that hot,” I said, getting off the bed and heading toward the bathroom to turn on the cold water.
“No need. I can handle the water, and thanks. Just find something for me to put on when I get out. And, look through your DVDs for a good movie to watch.”
“Yes ma'am,” I said, saluting her. “Anything you want.”
She laughed and closed the door.
I removed one of my long white shirts from the closet and laid it on the chaise. I still had the negligee I bought from Victoria's Secret, but I thought giving it to her would be inappropriate, since we'd agreed to keep our relationship strictly platonic. The last thing I needed was for her to get the wrong idea, even though I knew getting over Nokea wasn't going to be that easy for me to do.
I had already changed into my pajama pants by the time Nokea came out of the bathroom. I was forty-five minutes into watching
John Q
and wasn't tired at all. Nokea walked past the television with a towel wrapped around her dripping wet body. I pointed to the shirt on my chaise, and when she removed the towel, my eyes focused back to the television.
“So, you couldn't wait until I finished before you started the movie?”
I sucked my teeth and gave her naked body a quick glimpse. “You took too long. I thought you drowned up in there or something.”
She looked around the room. “Do you have anybody lotion around here? You know, something with a feminine touch? My skin feels awfully dry.”
“Yeah, I do. It's in the bathroom closet. It's not mine, it's Scorpio's. I hope you don't mind using it.”
She flaunted her naked ass in front of me again and went into the bathroom. She came out squeezing lotion in her hands. “I don't care whose lotion it is. My skin is calling for some moisture. And no wonder you're forever taking baths. Your tub is so relaxing. That was actually my first time being in there. I kind of enjoyed it.” She placed her foot on the chaise and rubbed lotion on her leg.
“Yes, my tub is very comfortable. I don't know what I would do without that thing in my life.”
I continued taking quick peeks at Nokea, and felt my dick rise underneath the sheets. By the way she rubbed herself, I could tell she was teasing me, so I placed my hand on my hardness to keep it down.
Nokea turned off the lamp and got in bed with me. My California-style king-sized bed was big enough where it left plenty of room between us. She slid two pillows behind her back, and another one behind her head.
“Are you comfortable?” I asked, looking over at her.
“Yes. Very. How about you?”
“Always.” I turned to look at the TV.
Nokea yawned. “I'm tired. I think I'm going to call it a night. Besides, I've seen
John Q
about five times already.”
“Five times? Why five times?”
Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. “Duh . . . Denzel Washington. Need I say more?”
“Aw, come on. He ain't that fine where you got to look at the damn movie five times.”
“That's your opinion. And you're definitely entitled to it.” She pulled the covers back and started out of bed. I quickly reached over and touched her hand.
“Sit back for a minute,” I asked politely. She hesitated for a moment, then eased back in bed.
“Jaylin, I don't want any trouble out of you tonight. We saidâ”
I moved close to her. “I know what we said earlier, but this is going to be difficult. I am turned on by your sexiness, and can't we at least try to do without each other after tonight?”
She stared into my eyes, looking a bit defeated. “But I . . . I thought we saidâ”
“After tonight, okay?” I whispered and started to unbutton her shirt.
“After tonight, Jaylin?”
“Yes, baby, after tonight.”
“No,” she said, grabbing my hands. “We can't continue to do this.”
“And we won't. After tonight, I promise you we won't.”
I sucked her lips into mine and started to unbutton her shirt again. It fell open and I leaned down to suck her nipples. Her head went back and she opened her legs wide so I could get between them. I pecked my lips down her stomach and massaged her breasts at the same time. She reached up for the cherry-oak thick pole on my headboard and gripped it. Her thighs went into position on my shoulders and I slurped into her insides.
“After tonight,” she moaned.
I licked her wetness from my lips and pecked her thighs. “I promise... after tonight.”
When I got ready to go at it again, Nokea placed her hands in between her legs, and slid them off my shoulders.
“Jaylin, when are we going to stop this?”
“Tomorrow. We're going to stop this tomorrow, so come on, let me finish,” I said, trying to get her back into position.
“No we're not. We agreed to end this earlier, and that's what we're going to do. We can't keep doing this to ourselves. All this back-and-forth, wishy-washy stuff is driving me crazy. For once, let's just stick to the plan and see how it goes.”
I let out a deep sigh and tried to move next to her in bed, but she got up and headed for the door.