“Shut up. Y'all playas need to be quiet. Stephon, you know I've been in love before,” I said, thinking about Nokea. I was still somewhat bitter about what had happened between her and Stephon, but I was doing my best to move on.
“In love? With who?” Shane asked.
“My nanny, nigga, that's who.”
We all laughed.
After a few minutes of talking, Shane got up and went to the restroom. Stephon and I checked him out; he looked spiffy his damn self with his red Ralph Lauren shirt and blue jeans. He always was a bit more muscular than Stephon and me, and by the looks of things, his workout plan was not failing him at all. I now knew why Scorpio was interested.
When Shane came back to the table he had three drinks in his hands. He set them on the table. “Let me see if I remember this correctly.” He gave me my drink. “Remy is your drink.” He handed Stephon his. “Remy is your drink, and Remy is also mine. With that in mind, fellas, what does that say about us?”
I answered. “It says that we like the same drink and the same lovely-ass women.” We clinked our glasses together in agreement.
Shane scooted back into the booth. “So, straight up, Jay. I'm out of the picture. Now, that doesn't mean if I see Scorpio a year or two from now and she tells me y'all aren't together. I'm letting you know right now that she's fair game.”
“What about Felicia?” Stephon asked.
Shane's forehead wrinkled. “Felicia? What about Felicia?”
“Negro, don't lie. I saw your number on her caller ID.”
“Stephon, you might have seen it because I finally called her back after she blew up my damn cell phone. I am not the least bit interested in her and I will never forget how she played me. But, what in the hell are you doing at her place? I thought she was with Jay?”
“Man, it's a long story. I've been trying to tell this knucklehead she's bad business,” I said, looking at Stephon.
“Stephon, man, please listen to your cousin. She is nothing but trouble.”
“Shane, Jay, mind y'all damn business. Y'all didn't say that shit when she was shaking a nigga down, so I don't want to hear it.”
“He got a point now, Jay. I must admit, the brotha's got a point.”
Shane and me bumped knuckles and cracked up. We sat at Freddy's drinking and updating him for nearly two hours on what had been happening since he'd moved. Numerous calls from Heather tried to interrupt me, but I didn't answer because I was having too much fun.
By nine-thirty, I was ready to call it a night. I told Scorpio I would be there by nine and didn't want to be
that
late since she was already mad.
“Well, fellas, I'm outtie. I'm getting ready to stop by a flower shop, buy my woman some roses, apologize for being an asshole, and make her pay for opening up her legs to Shane.”
Shane laughed. “Man, if I could change what happened last night I would. She bad, though, Jay. Baby-Girl is bad!”
“I know. That's why she's with me.” I stood, and tossed two dollars on the table for my four drinks, a huge plate of hot wings, onion rings, and a piece of cherry cheesecake.
Stephon cleared his throat. “We are truly jealous about you leaving us, and going home to put it on Scorpio. But bro, what in the hell is two dollars supposed to pay for?”
“I changed my mind, and now, I think my dick might be in the mood for Nokea. Either way, you did get that money I wired to your account, didn't you?”
“Fasho. And thanks for the extra.”
“Good. Then I'm sure it will cover the cost of my food and then some. Shane,” I said, grabbing his hand. “It's been a pleasure, and keep in touch, man, all right?” He agreed and I jetted.
Even though I might have been thinking about Nokea for a moment, I was on my way to see Scorpio. I was feeling kind of bad by the way I treated her, thinking about how hurt she looked in my office today.
I swerved down Olive Blvd. feeling the true effects of the alcohol. When I parked in front of Scorpio's condo, her car was outside, but there were no lights on. I placed the roses in my mouth and unlocked the door. I slid my boots off and walked back to her bedroom, but when I turned on the lights, she wasn't there. I looked at the bed and saw a folded letter with a set of keys lying on the top. I sat down and read the letter:
I'm sure the bedroom is the first place you would look for me, so there's no doubt in my mind that you would find this letter. Today was a wake-up call for me. You left me with little respect for myself, and I'm going as far away from you as possible to get it back. Never in my wildest dream did I think I would fall this hard for you. But my problem occurred when I started loving you more than I loved myself. You are a cruel man, Jaylin. Maybe because when your mother was killed you had to live in an orphanage, but nobody's life is perfect. I lost both of my parents at an early age and had to do without, but it never gave me the right to mistreat the people who were replacements in my life for me to love. Your watch is in the dresser drawer, your clothes are in the closet, your keys to the condo and Corvette are on the key ring, and, yes, your pussy is gone.
I closed the letter and reached for the phone to see if Mackenzie was still with Nanny B. When she told me Scorpio had come to get her at eight o'clock, I slammed down the phone. Full of anger, I threw the phone against the wall and fell back on the bed.
“Damn!” I yelled out loud. “I'll be motherfucking damned!”
Chapter 14
Nokea
Â
My dinner plans with Pat had already been made. She wanted to meet at Applebee's on Lindbergh so we could catch a movie at James-town Mall afterward. I wasn't sure if she would still want to go to the movies after I told her about Chad, but I had put off talking to her long enough.
She'd blamed my sudden distance from her on Jaylin coming back into my life. I hoped she wouldn't blame my distance on my inability to converse with her about my relationships with Jaylin and Stephon, but at some point, I started to feel embarrassed by the whole thing. I wanted those days to be behind me, and the less I talked about it, the better. Still, I just couldn't face her after what Chad had done to me. More so, I couldn't face him, and I knew that being at her house would make me uncomfortable.
When I got to Applebee's
,
Pat was already waiting for me at a table. She smiled and stood to hug me. As we embraced, I closed my eyes and swallowed. I felt devastated about what I had to do.
“Say, Miss Thang,” she said. “Good to see you. Have a seat so we can catch up on things, since Jaylin's been taking all my time away from me.”
“Pat, you know it's not even like that. I have never put Jaylin before you.”
“Please. Yes, you have and you know it. Don't make me sit here and go there.”
“Okay, maybe I have. But you know I love you, don't you?”
“Of course I do. That's why I ain't tripping.” She laughed. “Anyway, how's my baby doing? I didn't even get a chance to see him on his birthday and I was crushed.”
“Well, you know it was big Jaylin's birthday too. Nanny B had a get-together at his house, and afterward, Jaylin and I spent the night at the Ritz.”
“Yeah, I know. I remember you telling me, but how can you still sleep with him, Nokea? He is trifling. I mean downright, straight-up trifâ”
“Pat, please don't talk about him like that. Jaylin has many good qualities, too. Besides, I didn't come here to listen to you tear him down. I came here to have a nice dinner with my best friend, and to talk to you about something I've been holding back on telling you.”
“Fine. I won't talk about the ho-bitch and please,
please
, don't tell me you're pregnant again. I don't think I'll be as excited for you as I was the first time.”
“Pat, what is up with your attitude? No. I'm not pregnant, but if I were, you'd be the last person I would tell right about now.”
“Look, Nokea, I'm sorry.” She took a sip of water. “Something has been bugging Chad and he won't tell me what it is. I know my husband better than anybody, and I can sense when something ain't right. When I ask him what's wrong he just blows me off like it's nothing. Anyway, I don't want to spend the day talking about these crazy men in our lives. What's been on your mind, girl?”
I took a few sips of my water to avoid eye contact with her. “Has the waiter come to the table yet?”
“Yes, Nokea. But what is it? I can tell you're starting to beat around the bush.”
“Did you order for us?”
“Nokea?”
“Okay. I know . . . but this is so hard for me to say.”
“Sweetie, we've been friends for fourteen years. You have never held anything back from me, so don't start now. Whatever it is, I promise you I will not make any negative comments about it.”
“You promise.”
“Yes, I promise.”
“Okay,” I said, holding Pat's hands across the table. “The last time I was at your house, Chad came on to me. He called and told meâ”
Pat released her hands from mine. “Nokea, you know how Chad is. He's always joking around with my friends, and I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it.”
“No, Pat. He actually tried to kiss me. He came up from behind me and put his lips on my neck. When I got home he called and tried to tell me how much I wanted him. I wanted to tell you sooner but I . . . I really didn't know how.”
Pat yelled at the waiter who was servicing another table. “Would you please get me another glass of water! We've been waiting forever on you to take our order.” The waiter hurried over to the table and asked us what we'd like to have.
“Pat, did you hear anything I said to you? I can't sit here and pretend that I'm not concerned about what happened.”
“Nokea, I'm ordering right now because I don't know how to respond to you. When I'm upset, food calms my nerves. The sooner my food gets here, the faster I'll be able to say something to your selfish ass.”
“Selfish? What do you mean by selfish?”
The waiter looked at us and said he'd give us another minute.
“I mean, all you ever think about is you. What you want. What you like. Who you've got to have. What you've got to have. The list goes on and on. But this time, you've crossed the line. Chad would never approach a woman like you because you're weak, Nokea. And I think Jaylin's got your mind so twisted that you're looking for anyone who gives you a little attention these days.”
I tightened my eyes to fight back my tears. “Pat, you know I would never do or say anything to come between your marriage. As your best friend, I just wanted you to know whaâ”
“As my best friend, you have stooped to an all-time low. I thought sleeping with Stephon was low, but this is crazy. I should have known I couldn't trust you then, but stupid me, always taking your side and being there for you when you needed me.” Pat stood, and after taking a sip of her water, splashed the rest of it in my face. “Get that son of a bitch Jaylin to clean up your mess. You and him seem to be good at making them, so I'm sure he'll help you clean it up.” She walked off.
I grabbed a napkin, and dabbed it on my face and silk fuchsia blouse. The waiter came over and gave me another napkin and asked if I needed help. I refused, thanked him for the offer, and left him twenty dollars for being so kind.
On the drive to Jaylin's house to pick up LJ, I thought about my conversation with Pat. Not in a million years did I think she was going to respond so negatively. I finally knew how she truly felt about me. It hurt so badly inside. I hadn't expected her to embrace me with open arms, but I'd thought she would at least talk to Chad before making any assumptions.
When I pulled into Jaylin's driveway, his car wasn't there. Earlier, we'd discussed LJ spending the weekend with him, but right now, I needed my baby in my arms more than anything.
Nanny B opened the door with him resting on her hip. “Nokea, I didn't think you were coming back until Sunday. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, it's fine.” I took LJ from her and kissed his cheek. “Has Jaylin made it home yet?”
“No, but he's on his way. He called not too long ago and asked if LJ was here. I told him yes, so stay until he gets here. He's going to be so disappointed if he doesn't get a chance to see him.”
“That's fine. We'll just go upstairs to his room and wait for him.”
“Thanks, Nokea. Have you had something to eat yet? I cooked a pot roast, and if you'd like some you're welcome to it.”
“No, that's okay,” I said, walking up the steps with LJ. “Thanks though.”
I turned on the light in Jaylin's room and put LJ on the bed. When I lifted his briefcase to put it on the floor, it flew open and papers spilled everywhere, along with a videotape. I put the papers back, and picked up the tape. The white label read, “Sorry son of a bitch,” in big red letters.
Curious, I slid the tape into the VCR and pushed the play button. I watched as Jaylin's car pulled into somebody's driveway, and I immediately noticed Mr. Schmidt's daughter on the passenger side. Thinking nothing of it, I pushed the fast-forward button, but hit play again when I saw her walking around the house with a little of nothing on. Jaylin seemed mesmerized by her. When I hit fast-forward again, I saw her removing his shirt. I took a deep breath, fearing what was about to happen next.
I nervously placed my hand over my mouth and watched them having sex. Rain poured on their bodies, and they seemed to be all into it. Not wanting to put myself through this again, I quickly stopped the tape. I reached for LJ and ran out of Jaylin's room. As I moved down the steps, Jaylin opened the front door. I put LJ in his arms and jetted to my car. He yelled my name, but there was no turning back for me. I sped off and hit Highway 40, swerving in and out of traffic. I realized how important my life was, and how much my son needed me, so I finally slowed down. I pulled over and laid my head on the steering wheel. My tears wouldn't even fall; all I could do was scream. I pounded the steering wheel until the palm of my hands turned red. More than ten years of my life wasted, I thought. Wasted on a man who never wanted anything from me but security. I had been his security blanket when others failed him. I had been his security blanket when sex wasn't well within his reach, and more than anything, I had been a fool. A
serious
damn fool for love. My mind traveled back to the day of his birthday, and his visit from the same woman on the tape. I remembered wondering what was taking them so long. And I thought about Jaylin's look of guilt when they came out of his office. Her dress looked wrinkled and her makeup had suddenly disappeared. Why hadn't I put one and two together? He had been with her, Scorpio, and me all in one day. Pat was so right about him being trifling. How dare I defend him? I had never been so disgusted with him or with myself for allowing this foolishness to continue.
For nearly an hour, I sat in my car and thought about my damaged friendship with Pat, and ongoing relationship with Jaylin. What a mess, I thought, and finally drove to Cardwell's in Clayton to get a bite to eat.
The maitre d' asked if I had reservations, and since I didn't, I had a short wait. I sat, looking out the window at the drizzling rain, and dazed off thinking about my situation.
“I don't mean to bother you,” said a man's voice, tearing me from my thoughts, “but haven't I seen you somewhere before?”
I didn't even bother to turn my head at the obvious pick-up line. “No,” I said dryly. “I don't think so.”
“Yes, I do remember you. From the gas station several weeks back.”
I looked up at him. Sure enough, it was bucket-head. That's what Jaylin called him anyway. Thinking about it, I smiled. “Hello. How are you?” I stood up.
“I'm fine. I saw you when you came in. Are you waiting for someone?”
“No, I'm dining alone tonight.”
“Well, would you like to join my business partners and me? We were just about wrapping it up, but I'd be willing to stay awhile longer.”
“No . . . no, please. I'd like to have dinner alone, if you don't mind. But thanks for the offer, Mr.â”
“Oh, I'm sorry. Collins, Collins Jefferson. And yours?”
“Nokea Brooks.”
Just then, the maitre d' told me my table was ready. Collins kissed my hand, and I thanked him again for his offer.
As I looked through the menu, I could feel Collins staring at me from across the room. He had a perfect view and used it to his advantage. I crossed my legs to make sure he couldn't see up my short black skirt, and put the menu up high so he couldn't see my face. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but when I peeked behind the menu, Collins was getting ready to leave. He waved and I put the menu down on the table to wave back.
When the waiter came to take my order, he put a bottle of wine on the table and laid a business card next to it. He said it was from the gentleman “over there,” and pointed at Collins's now empty table.
I picked up the card, which turned out to be Collins's. On the back he'd asked if we could have dinner soon and invited me to call him. I put it into my purse and waited for my food.
I finished dinner quickly, and afterward, I got a room at the Sheraton for the night. Jaylin had been ringing my cell phone like crazy trying to find out what was wrong, but I didn't return his calls. I hoped that Pat would call, but by the way things went down, I didn't expect to hear from her anytime soon.