My Secret Life (95 page)

The third time I was better, and had had a cock-stand when thinking of the funny fucking apparatus of the Marseillaise. It was in the afternoon after a good luncheon that I went to see her, and had her to myself for a couple of hours.

She was a well grown woman say five feet six high with firm fleshy large buttocks, scarcely any waist, good shoulders, large firm breasts, and full sized thighs. From knees to ankles the legs were hairy and ugly. She had dark hair on her head, and a slight darkish moustache on her mouth, and dark eyes. Her face had a somewhat sad expression in it. — The hair of her motte had the growth of a woman of thirty and was very dark. She said she was twenty-three. — There was scarcely a sign of hair by her anus. Her cunt may be likened to one of the short leathern purses like a bag, which opens with a clasp, and shews inside a division or central pocket, with a pocket on each side of it. The cunt had the central division only and two pockets only, that is, a cunt — on each side. The central division looked like one of the nymphæ, but there were nymphæ of the ordinary size and usual place, just within the outer lips — I am certain that a man not knowing of the peculiar physical conformation of the woman, might have put his prick up one of the cunts, fucked and finished, without knowing that another cunt was by the side of his penis — always supposing that he had been lewed and full of sperm when he began feeling, looking, and fucking. In brief, in the usual physical condition of a healthy man when wanting a woman.

From what she told me on this and another occasion, she did not seem to have been conscious of her peculiar conformation till her menses began to show. She had them now from one cunt after the other — never at the same time from both. Each lasted about three days — under her true clitoris, but lower down and on either side of the central division of the two vaginas, were two little piss ducts, and she pissed first from one and then from the other. — These piddle openings were not just inside and near to the vaginas or prick holes as in most women, but higher above them tho both were hidden partially by the diaphragm dividing the cunts and by the nymphæ and outer lips. I am sorry I did not see her piss.

She had pleasure she said in fucking, but could not say the pleasure was more from one cunt than the other. — She seemed from her description to have had the usual alloverish voluptuous sensation from both cunts when fucked. She had been in the family way on her left side womb, and when four months gone and her belly much swollen, the doctors told her parturition probably would kill her, and so she procured abortion. — The central division where it joined the real clitoris, protruded like a
second clitoris,
the piddle vent holes a little lower down were on each side of it. She could frig herself to pleasure and a spend on the lower as well as the upper clitoris. Sometimes one cunt spent, sometimes the other, she didn’t know which would spend when she frigged herself.

The doctors said that she had two bladders with two distinct wombs and adjuncts. How they were connected with her breasts for milk, they did not know. They warned her again breeding. — A person, a doctor, had offered her a large sum to go to America to exhibit herself, but she was frightened and refused. She liked whoring in her native land best. The doctors had passed implements and drawn off the water from each of her bladders as an experiment, to settle the point whether she had two bladders or not.

I forgot to ask her about her virginity. She liked fucking she said — and when she frigged either clitoris she seemed to spend from one cunt or both, she could not control it,
but both cunts did not wet.
— Two friends once had her together. She stood over the one with the shortest prick, and the other pushed up her other quim from her rump side — the one she was on was well up her, but the other got his prick only a little way in, for it was difficult. Both spent up her and she spent — all three nearly at the same time — but she never could tell
which
of her cunts, or if
both
did, but she spent certainly. She was made so lewed when they did it she couldn’t tell. Then both fucked her twice again, one after the other, both looking on alternately. “Yes, once in the other’s spunk, the other time in different cunts.” — “One liked fucking in the foutre?” — “Oui,
like you,”
— said she with a smile. — She’d heard of me. — They were Frenchmen. — She was all the evening with them.

I saw her again some months after. She had then gone to another lapunar — all the clients at
^****
had had her.
She did not take,
few men had her more than once for curiosity. She didn’t like them not to fuck her but many did not. — I went thro all the examinations again and heard the same story. — I got my prick first up one cunt then another, but could not spend, and after trying in every attitude came away without spending. — She this time told me that she’d had two virginities, one her lover took — the doctor who examined her subsequently had the second.

I was resolved to fuck her, visited her again, heard all over again and a lot more. My cock stood so I mounted her, I pushed my prick up her left avenue, then exchanged it for the right one. I wanted to compare differences of sensations — if any — and whether the cunts gave the same sort of feel to my tool as a one cunted woman gave me — but over-excited again, my tool to my annoyance began to dwindle and came out flabby almost suddenly. — The abnormal nature of the female’s organ in fact gave me a slight disgust, but really tho curious, there was nothing in the slightest degree — as I now think of it — disgusting about it. Again by the help of her fingers and her mouth I rallied, and bringing her to the side of the bed, I first looked at her quim from behind her bum, then reversing her and lifting her heavy thighs up, I asked her to put in my prick for me. — “Which cunt?” — asked she. “Your left, the side you bred it.” She placed it there, up went my prick, and I left my sperm in the favoured avenue.

Her cunts did not seem as nice and smooth as the ordinary female article — but somewhat fatigued, not much wanting it, and over-worked before — for my cock had recently gone into quite a dozen cunts and mostly smooth with sperm and I had seen thirty couples copulating — I was rather done up
—
I’d had difficulty also in finding where this woman had moved to, so I was not in a good state for judging, and felt all the time that I was fucking out of mere curiosity.

A few months after I sought her at the same house. — She’d left. — Then I asked Alexandrine, who under pledge again (she’d told me before) gave me another address — but she had left, had gone abroad they told me. — Perhaps so, and all Europe may see this lusus naturæ.

[I have always regretted not asking more and precise questions of this double cunted woman — but the excitement caused naturally by talking on the subject, and having the cunts at hand and the naked owner of them there ready and willing to fuck made me forget asking much which I intended. I should have written down my questions, and asked them seriatim.
—
But that might have scared her, and she would most likely have lied more than perhaps she did, but as far as I narrate I think it is all true about her. — I had Katie
—
the only English woman in the house,
—
to interpret and aid me. But above all, Alexandrine, who had been for a few years my friend, aid, and adviser in erotic business told me a great deal.

[Katie had a wonderful history. From being an ordinary harlot there, and first in London, then at Lyons, she married the nephew of the mistress of the bordel, and was for a time practically mistress of the establishment — and would with her husband have inherited it, with an income as far as I could make out of quite three thousand pounds a year. Good behaviour in her lodgings got her that marriage and that position, prosperity upset her. — She became a drunkard, quarrelled with the women, and caused rows in the house (never permitted in a French “maison de tolerance”), was rejected and dismissed — of course still married — and as far as I could learn, she was afterwards sent to England a confirmed drunkard, her husband keeping her here. — Her name had occurred in the original narrative, but in the abbreviations those incidents had been destroyed — hence the need to preserve this short memoir of her here — an eventful history.]

My narrative is nearly finished, my amatory career ending. My sexual powers lessen tho still strong, but as the urgings of concupiscence are less powerful, opportunities seem not to occur so frequently and my sins against chastity grow fewer. The actors and actresses will henceforth be nameless or named wrongly for they are living and about. — The houses which gave me shelter exist, but must not be named. The amatory episodes were for the most part more briefly written by me than formerly, and need but little abbreviation. Their chronological order will not be quite followed in the interest of all the actors, actresses and self.

[Here is placed a loose paragraph — I fancy I have written a similar one before — but lest not so, it’s well to preserve it.]

[How similar for the most part have been my temporary amours. How similar the behaviour of the women who have procured me the virgins. Whether L**1*e, F
^**
z
^*
r or others, all were similar. All the virgins were got for money. What pleasure also the Paphians had in enticing the lasses, and for their own lust in seeing the hymens taken — in inducing the girls to fuck. — What complete unanimity in opinion, that their little protegés would soon be fucked by some one if not by me. What tales they told me of the nascent desires, lewed wishes and erotic knowledge and habits of the girls at that early age, and the encouragement they gave to the males — mostly lads a little older than themselves and of the same class. — Verily a gentleman had better fuck them for money, than a butcher boy for nothing. It is the fate of such girls to be fucked young, neither laws social or legal can prevent it. — Given opportunities — who has them like the children of the poor? — and they
will
copulate. It is the law of nature which nothing can thwart. A man need have no “compunctions of conscience” — as it is termed — about having such girls first, for assuredly he will have done no harm, and has only been an agent in the inevitable. The consequences to the female being the same, whoever she may first have been fucked by.

The first week of my return I telegraphed a meeting with H. Getting no reply I went to her house which was empty. I telegraphed the scout, got no response, went there and
she
had flown, but I found that her letters were sent to a neighbouring chandler’s shop — I wrote there naming an appointment in the dark near
^****
and there found H. waiting. All was changed, she lived in the country, was not sure if she could meet me, but if so at great risk, didn’t know when or where but in a week would let me know. We drove through a park which was on the road to her station and felt each other’s carnal agents, I besought her to get out and let us fuck against a tree. She was indignant at the proposal, and it ended in our frigging each other in the cab, face to face, kissing and tonguing, to the great injury of her bonnet, and a little soiling of her silk dress and my trowsers. Who would care where sperm fell in such an entrancing ride: