My Number One: Kasha & Knox (12 page)

~

“What’s wrong?” I mumbled before scolding myself for saying something so naive. The problem was the fact that he must’ve felt like shit over us. As much as I didn’t want to acknowledge Erika, she was a very real part of his life. In acknowledging her, however, did that mean my claim on Knox was baseless?

I rolled closer to his firm, muscular chest. My ass backed to his groin while our bodies blended perfectly together. In return, Knox squeezed my upper body. He pressed me even closer while providing a bearish hug. With our lower bodies already attached to one another, he lapped his legs over the top of mine, then crisscrossed at the bottom. His bulge grew against me. Damn near melted into him and got wet all over again. Correction: wetter.

“Kash, the only thing I’m certain about is you . . . this . . . us.”

I could feel the pounding of his heart blending with the vibrations of my own. It was the perfect massage to counter the topic.

“Erika’s gonna hate me,” I whispered as my lips pressed into his forearm. The scent of our mated bodies made me crave him inside me all over again. The arms I was already growing accustomed to tightened across my biceps. He kissed the tip of my ear, nibbled and ran his tongue around the edge. Knox’s hot breath pushed me to the brink of reasoning. A tingly sensation flushed through me. How could something so subtle cause such a reaction?

“Are you friends? This—” he began before gently thrusting his hips forward “—this is my issue, not yours.”

“I know, but I’d never get over a guy, specifically my fiancé, dumping me for some other chick.”

“Let me worry about that.”

But how could I not care? His words hadn’t soothed me. I knew he meant well, but I had just screwed another chick’s guy. To make things worse, I couldn’t say I wouldn’t do it again.

“Look at me.”

Without hesitation, I turned around and maintained our proximity. I then arched the top half of my body away from him. His gaze was a familiar one, though for the first time in all these years, I now recognized it as true adoration, hunger, need, longing . . . love.

A low buzzing sounded off in the distance. Our stare intensified. A distant light provided just enough of a revelation. His chest contracted deeply to my chest. I studied his movements away from the bed. When he recovered his slacks from the floor, he took out his cellphone and glanced at the screen before returning it to the pocket. As soon as he got cozy with me, it went off again. I didn’t wait on him to step away from me. I loosened the grip, since I’d just wrapped my fingers at his sides. Instead of forcing me to tighten my hold, he allowed me to let him go and reluctantly stood up.

He had to know who was calling. The reaction, after it lit up in his hand, didn’t shift much. His hand went right back inside of his pocket and came out empty. When Knox refocused back on the bed, on me, he took a deep breath, recovered the phone and answered, “I’ll get there in a couple of hours.”

This time I sat up in the bed, suddenly feeling detached; not from him but myself. I hadn’t spoken with Ma in about two months, since she was taking a journey of self-discovery on some remote island in the South Pacific. I could hear her words, even saw the anger forming on her face as she scolded me. Thank God she didn’t know about Knox.

He leaned his head to the wall and used his right fingers to massage his temples. Knowing him the way I did, he had to be uncomfortable. With the distance between us, since he was at the opposite side of the room, I cringed when the electronic sound carried through the room like before.

Neither one of us reacted more than to stare at each other. I’d just given myself to him, knowing damn well he was taken. What the hell would I say? Then the ringing stopped. Five seconds later, there was the zigzag texture of its noise against his clothes. An additional five and he yanked it back out.

“I’ll talk to you when I get—” Knox listened. I listened to him listening to the girl he should’ve been with now. My heart pumped harshly. “I’m not arguing with you, Erika. We’ll talk when I get there.”

I could imagine Erika’s anger. Hell, being the other woman, I felt it for her. My eyes stung for how wrong this was, though love was never meant to feel wrong.

“If you need to go—”

“I’m not going anywhere, Kash. I fucked up. I should’ve never gotten to this stage with Erika. We, you and me—” Knox paused to swipe his hand to and fro “—should’ve been together all along.”

My mind became captured by a sinking feeling over his words: the confidence and the connection I felt to Erika as a female. I needed to put distance between us, flee this situation. Even the slightest escape would help. “I’m gonna get some juice.” Before Knox could object, I leapt up from the bed to rush out of the room. I wrapped a royal red throw around my shoulders, it cascaded down my limbs. It had been leisurely thrown across a bone-colored, winged wicker chair. I came so close to stumbling over the top of the armrest.

Shit! Damn!

I stretched up on my toes to run for the kitchen while regret sunk low inside me. I literally saw myself as shit. A sea of doubt flowed through my mind. In my quest for some semblance of satisfaction, I started to regret what I had just done. But there was no one near to promise me it would be okay because my conscience would never lie to me.

The house was silent, with the exception of a motorcycle in the distance. A motorcycle wasn’t the norm for my block. Can’t say any of my neighbors owned a bike. And if anyone were to make a turn into my development, it had to be with purpose, especially in the early hours.

Honestly, Kash, who cares?

I tossed my head. My hair whisked around my face. The kitchen floor was cold and though I’d wanted to get away from the drama in my bedroom, I was suddenly ready to embrace the fire all over again. This situation had me going through the motions, running hot and cold, even doubting what I knew to be wrong as right. But could it be right?

As I prepared to return to Knox with a slew of questions about us, I noticed the clothes I’d worn, the ones he had removed. They were still in the foyer, tossed on the ground. For all the doubting, I inhaled and smiled. My imagination took off with images of areas we’d left clothes. I even envisioned how we’d come at each other. Oh Knox, I wanted to cry out. Leaning to reach for the articles in the dark, I heard the motorcycle rev up. The sound drew closer, then closer as if it was coming at me. My heart raced. At umpteen o’clock in the morning, who the hell would be playing around on a block that was filled with retirees?

Pressing to the stained glass door, I tried to peer out through one of the tiny spots that hadn’t been filled in with frost. The seconds dragged on with nothing to see, in spite of the darkness still looming on the other side of the door. Then I heard footsteps threading up what sounded to be my driveway—heavy, determined steps at that.

I parted my lips to call out for Knox, but the words never came. Instead, I rushed toward a window on the left side of the house, right off the living room. The lights were all turned down, from inside the house to the outdoor floodlight. And from the angle I was gazing out of the window, the streetlight at the opposite curb revealed very little. Leaning away to look behind me, I considered going to get Knox because whatever this elusive figure had planned, there was no telling. But then there was absolutely nothing. Silence resumed until it was as it had been when I’d first left out of the bedroom. I no longer even heard the bike. The damn footsteps had come up the pathway. I wasn’t losing my mind, was I?

Then . . .

BOOM! Glass escaped inward, raining past the foyer further into my home. One second the glass was intact, the next it lay in ruins.

“Help!” I cried in words and terms. “Help!

“Kash!” Knox’s called out.

“No, don’t come here!” I warned. There was no telling if the culprit remained on the steps. The last thing I wanted was to risk Knox’s safety, even with me teetering with fear on the edge of the sofa. But then I heard the bike rolling up. Footsteps started up once again, though quicker this time. I peered back out of the window to see the back of a lanky guy dressed in full black. He pulled a helmet over the top of a black baseball cap, then hopped onto the front of a bike. His accomplice was much smaller and reached lower, about midway up his back. The person wrapped their arms around the guy.

Van hadn’t crossed my mind in ages. Could he have found me, after all these years? I never went back to South Florida, not even Port Saint Lucie. I thought of him very little, in hopes that he returned that simple favor. I was certain he’d never been convicted for his crime. Yet I hoped he knew I wasn’t one to rat anyone out, because I hadn’t. I only wanted to be left alone. Well . . . at least by him.

“Kash! Kash!” Knox’s call grew louder. I hadn’t even realized he’d come out. For now, from the corner of my eyes, he appeared to pace in and out of the foyer. “Did you see anyone?”

I exhaled. Bending my elbows, my fingers instinctively wrapped against the sides of my head. I blinked my eyes closed, imagining the violator. I replayed the image of the guy, as Van’s profile settled in my mind. Can’t say it was him. Couldn’t have been Axel either. But who, if not them?

Knox’s palms landed on my shoulders. The throw had fallen around my lower body. My nipples poked out, not with desire, but fear.

I heard Knox speaking, forming what might’ve been sentences, but it was foreign. The words ran together and made very little sense until he shook me.

“Kash . . . Kasha.” He pulled me to his chest. He’d only managed to throw on his gray boxer briefs, otherwise, he was like before. Lips passed along my forehead, my lips, even my fingers and palms. He mumbled promises to protect me, like he knew of my demons.

He didn’t, and couldn’t ever know.

~

~

Practically every last vein in my head pulsated. The throbbing only grew worse and worse. If Kasha had been hurt, there’s no telling what I would’ve done. She was everything to me. Hell, her safety shifted to the top of the line. She cried nonstop. Her tears soaked up my chest, my arms. I’d gotten her to stand up, but she wouldn’t let me take her into the bedroom. We needed to do something, anything to fix this.

“You know I can’t wait around like this, right?” I kept the words low and spaced out. This shit was about to send me into a mindset I hadn’t known since I was a teenager. I wanted to hug her. My arms needed to be around her. My lips desired to be pressed over every inch of her body. But first, I had to handle this violation.

“What . . . the . . . hell?” In the midst of the sobbing, she spoke with long pauses. The effects provided sharp jabs to my heart.

“I’ll fix it,” I promised. She had to know, like I did. This wasn’t some random thing. Kasha hadn’t ever screwed over another soul, so I knew this had to be on me. I was the asshole responsible for violating her safety, even when I hadn’t done the damage.

Damn
!

I needed to be of sound mind. Flipping out was not an option, even as she shrank into my wide grip. She’d already soaked up my chest with her sobs. I knew to be patient with her and the situation. In the meantime, I planned for later this day. Anger couldn’t control me. Kasha didn’t deserve that man. She shouldn’t have to see him or be around him. I’d spent the past several years forgetting that bastard who reacted first and foremost. I’d seen enough and done enough to understand the importance of remaining calm. She was bound to freak out, if only I lost control. So I kissed her some more to set her mind at ease.

When sirens broke into the silence, I pulled away and whispered, “Kash, take a deep breath. Breathe.”

Apparently one of the neighbors had called the police when things first happened. Turns out, a large rock about the size of mini-boulder had been used. I knew the one. She’d had me paint
Welcome
on the front of it, then place it on the top step at the front of the house. The entire top half of Kasha’s door had been ruined. The only pieces to hang on were the edgings.

While they examined the door and searched for clues, we’d quickly gotten dressed. Can’t say I wasn’t uncomfortable around them. One in particular threw shady glances my way. What the hell could I do, besides return his shady behavior? This man I’d become could deal. He better be glad I wasn’t ‘the one I used to be.

Thirty minutes passed.

We crept up on an hour.

For a good chunk of the time, they observed the house—everywhere but the damn door. I practiced taking long, calming breaths. Tried not to allow his scrutinizing to affect me. And when they drilled her with the same questions, I paced the floor to keep from exploding.

“Is there a problem?” one of them asked.

“Yeah, I believe so.” What I wanted to say would get me locked up, so I held onto the disdain.

He sized me up, then refocused on Kasha.

I tried not to make it seem obvious. I couldn’t wait for the police to leave out. I noticed the shiftiness of my pupils when I saw my reflection in a nearby mirror and even the shakiness of my hands. It wasn’t that I was nervous, more like pissed. This wasn’t a coincidence, nor was Kasha plagued with enemies.

“You’re certain you don’t know who might’ve done this?”

“Four times. Do you think her answer’s gonna change?” I barked.

“We got a job to do,” the one shot out at me.

“All you’ve done is take turns repeating the same bullshit question.”

“That’s enough out of you,” he replied, moving at me like he wanted to take me down.

If it weren’t for Kasha throwing her body to my chest, trailing the tips of her fingers along my collarbone, and blowing a tender plea to “stay calm” up to my lips, my ass might’ve been laid out on the floor. My anger revolved around her; what could’ve been a significant harm to her. And I was the jackass that put her in harm’s way. She’d been suckered into my drama. But I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever want to walk away. I only needed them gone. Now!

But as the inquisitive one kept peering at me, I didn’t look away. I forced myself to maintain eye contact. Honestly, was I supposed to tell them about the evening? Shit, I couldn’t incriminate Erika, not after what I’d done, even though she was suspect number one. This was my case to handle.

“One last time,” the other one continued.

There was a time in life, when I was much younger and fearless, when I would’ve given officer-in-the-face a run for his money. But instead of taking that chance with my past, I forced out all of the hurtful memories. But now, I couldn’t help but feel like I’d done something remarkable in life to have gotten Kasha. I refused to screw things up.

“There was a guy—” Kasha mumbled.

“I’m gonna need you to speak up, ma’am.” The shortest officer stepped in front of Kasha. His complexion was pasty white, set off by a thin, almost invisible frown, except for the harsh lines at the sides.

“Give her some room to think,” I said, and yanked her away.

“Well, how are we supposed to investigate if she doesn’t?” The shorter followed. Not only was he an in-the-face type of bastard, the guy wore an incredibly uncomfortable stare that could be considered as his best intimidation tactic. “We’re not leaving without full disclosure.”

I’d had enough. We were being treated like criminals. The dark, ugly chemistry between this joker and myself should have nothing to do with him doing the job he was paid to do. I adjusted Kasha behind me to finalize things. “This is bull. Someone throws a big-ass rock into her house and you’re harassing her?”

“You’re a minute away from—”

“From what?” I took a step toward them and raised my hands in surrender. They could see I wasn’t a threat. My only clothes were a tee shirt and boxers; nothing more, nothing less. “Seems like you’re in the habit of intimidating people that don’t know any better.” I stepped around slowly.

“Punks like you do nothing for me.” The cop reached into his pocket, pulled out a card and motioned up to his partner. While still looking at Kasha, he knitted his brow then stated, “I’m sure you’ll be in touch.” They turned and exited through the fragments of broken glass and out the front door.

By the time Kasha returned from the bathroom, where she’d gone to wash her face. She came out with an oversized, plush pink towel secured from armpits to knees. Her hair was dripping wet, while her fingers trembled. She chewed on her bottom lip. But when I tried to talk with her, I barely got a grunt. I saw the wheels turning. She looked to the wall, the floor, the ceiling, and even out into the morning sunlight. A wedge of separation rested between us.

“I’m sorry. I’ll fix this.” If nothing else, I had my word. This was more than a promise. “I swear.”

She dipped further from me, leaving a wide, empty grasp. “Knox, did that have to do with Erika?” Kasha’s voice cracked when she reached the name she wasn’t in the habit of speaking out loud.

“Kash, let me deal with this.”

“I made a bad choice. This was a mis—”

Before Kasha could finish, I grabbed her with both hands. The towel drifted to the ground.

“I’m not letting go,” I bit out. We gazed intently to one another. Kasha’s chest rose and dipped. Her lips parted, while her eyelids batted.

“We can’t do this. You need to leave and forget we were ever friends.” She swallowed. “I won’t bother you again. I promise.”

“That’s not an option. How can you expect me to just leave? No. No.” I wasn’t prepared to argue, nor would I appease her. Even when Kasha tossed her head from side to side, I captured her cheeks. “It’s me and you, Kash,” I moaned against her lips.

Before I said another word, Kasha began kissing my face. I lifted her into my arms, then turned for the bed.

The sheets remained tossed from earlier, but I lay her on top. With her back pressed into the mattress, I slowly got onto my knees and commenced to spread her wide.

My lips passed along her inner thighs. I reached up, between her legs and for the treasure awaiting just for me. I placed a flurry of kisses the entire way up.

“Knox.” Her words were introduced along with tears and wild passion. She tugged at my hair, at my ears, at anything she could reach. While Kasha’s body listened to the relentless orders of my tongue moving in and outside of her. I assaulted her the only way I knew how, with love and a passion reserved for the one. My core became overtaken by an electric force controlled only by the girl that could love me into submission. I returned the love. Not anyone before, especially not the one I’d promised to marry, was capable of getting my all. Nor was I willing to take it all, with the exception of Kasha Davies. My mental tirades only increased the urgency of this love. I loved her cries, loved her fight and loved the way her juices flowed when I forced her to release.

“I. Love. You,” I mumbled to her clit. It was just the right pressure, being applied in just the right way to keep her weak and under the influence of lust.

Kasha laid there motionless with her slender thighs thrown over my shoulders. The walls pulsated all around us, similar to the movement of her inner thigh. A blanket of love fell down upon us.

“I need to go on the road. Let’s get you dressed.”

“Let me sleep, please?” she cried out.

“Are you crazy? Do you think I’m leaving you here by yourself?” I sat up immediately.

“Knox, I’m tired.”

After picking up her body only to place her down on the top portion of the bed, close to the pillows, I studied the tiny frame of the woman I adored. No frickin’ way. I couldn’t fathom leaving her alone. I shook my head. She licked her lips, tucking beneath the sheets.

“Teagan can stay with me,” she spoke in a sleepy tone.

“Call her.” I didn’t really know Teagan’s qualifications enough to put my trust in her, but reasoned that someone needed to be there with Kasha. And though I could take her along with me, the upcoming battle with Erika might not be ideal for Kasha either. So I took her phone from the end table.

She slowly took it and slid her thumb across the screen. She only managed to whisper into the line enough to let Teagan know the basics. That included sharing the tidbit about me.

I let her fall asleep from there. The entire time, my mind flushed over with things I could never say out loud, at least not to Kasha. I waited until we received confirmation that Teagan was close. Kash woke right up when I got ready to head out. I kept calm for the most part, but ripped out of that place when she was out of sight.

I ultimately had to shift focus. Although I’d originally felt like shit over the incident, the bull that Erika pulled earlier quickly helped to erase things. There was no question as to who was the culprit. I slid behind the wheel then inhaled and exhaled deeply. That wouldn’t do jack to ease the tension, but I might have gone ballistic. Redirecting the energy had to be a good thing. Right? Or should I just let it go?

No, I needed to remain calm in order to confront Erika. In less than a year, we’d come far. She’d done nothing but reintroduce drama into my life. The obligation I once felt for her had dried right up. No more. I knocked the handle of the wheel. Hell no. I’d given up on a relationship, under the disguise of a friendship, with Kasha to be the savior to another woman. I’d convinced myself that Erika needed me and I needed her; when in fact, we had no right to be together.

~