My Brother's Keeper (20 page)

“Let me touch you.” Feel his flesh. Become sheathed by his body. “Ellis, for God’s sake, let me touch you.” Ellis’s glazed eyes filled with feral hunger. He nodded and Jon pulled him down, smashing their mouths together. Ellis plunged his tongue deep, forcing Jon to open wider. He gave himself to Ellis without restraint.

Jon petted Ellis’s back to the tight round globes of his ass, to the line of Ellis’s crack, and found his entrance stretched tight around two fingers. Jon took over.

Ellis planted both hands on Jon’s chest and rode back. When he gave Ellis another finger he howled a broken rasp.

Jon fondled Ellis’s cock. “I want to see you come.”

Ellis shook his head.

“Please, Ellis.”

“Not yet.” Ellis reached back and gripped Jon’s wrist. “Stop.” Jon obeyed. Ellis guided Jon’s hand to his chest. He circled one of his nipples with Jon’s slick finger. Ellis said, “There.” Jon pinched the tight bud and Ellis sucked in a breath. “More.” The remains of Ellis’s voice cracked.

Jon rolled both nipples with his thumbs and fingers. “Tell me what you need, Ellis.”

“You.”

“You have me. I promise, you have me.”

Ellis rose up on his knees and gripped Jon’s cock. Memories of Ellis under him made keeping himself in check almost impossible. But Jon kept his hands where Ellis had put them, alternating from pinching Ellis’s nipples to grinding his thumbs around them in small circles.

The tight ring of Ellis’s entrance pressed against the head of Jon’s cock. In one hard push, Ellis impaled himself. A sharp sting from the friction shot through Jon. “Damn it Ellis, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Jon grabbed Ellis by his hips, but he knocked Jon’s hands away. “I don’t want to do this if you’re going to use me to abuse yourself.”

“I’m not.” Ellis rode up then back down.

Jon fought against the urge to thrust up. “You are.”

“I’m not. Please. Jon, I need this so I can feel. Let me feel.” Tears fell to Jon’s chest.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. I promise you won’t.” Ellis rocked. “Touch me.” The words came out on the back of a sob. “Please, touch me.”

“Where? Tell me where, baby, and I will.”

Ellis shook his head.

“Please, Ellis. Tell me.”

“Anywhere. Everywhere.”

Jon slid his hands up Ellis’s thigh. Muscles flexed and tightened under Jon’s hands. He reached Ellis’s hips and squeezed.

He quickened his pace and Jon found himself lifting his hips to meet him. Jon’s chest tightened and his breathing hitched. Every time he raised up, his bad knee ached, but he ignored the pain.

Ellis clawed Jon’s chest and he lifted his hips higher. Jon pulled Ellis down to meet his thrusts.

“Like that. Yesss—just like that.” Ellis wailed, a shattered gritty sound.

Sweat beaded across Jon’s skin, mixing with the tears Ellis shed.

“More. Please more.”

Jon gave Ellis what he demanded, moving so fast that the tension in his back made his spine ache. The muscles in his legs trembled, his hip joints throbbed and cramps made knots in his thighs.

Pushing his endurance stoked the pleasure in a way he never thought it could. The heat consuming Jon turned cold and every nerve ending in his body came alive. His cock pulsed and Jon bowed on the mattress so hard he almost threw Ellis off.

Jon collapsed, chest heaving, body trembling. His pulse thundered through his skull, making spots dance in front of his eyes. Ellis’s cock tapped Jon’s stomach.

“C’mere.” Jon put Ellis’s hands beside his head on the pillow, then encouraged him to pull up on his knees. The position gave Jon room to move and reach the places he wanted to touch.

Jon petted a line from Ellis’s thigh over to his cock with one hand. The other, he slipped behind his nuts. Jon rubbed Ellis’s perineum with two fingers. Ellis jerked then pushed back, increasing the pressure of their contact. Jon stroked Ellis’s cock and he rasped out a moan.

The darkness made it difficult to see his expression, but the way he breathed, the way his body quivered, told Jon he did everything right. Being in control was a familiar place for Jon, but even now Ellis hadn’t quite surrendered. He rocked, thrusting his cock through Jon’s fist then back against his fingers.

“Ellis, let go. I want to feel you come.”

He shook his head.

“Please, sweetheart, don’t do this to hurt yourself. I love you too much to see you do that. You know that, right? How much I love you.”

Jon moved his fingers from the place between Ellis’s legs to his opening. Slick with cum and lotion, Jon pushed two fingers inside him with almost no effort. Ellis bucked and Jon increased the speed of his strokes on Ellis’s cock. He huffed small, rough whimpers against Jon’s ear.

After what seemed like forever Ellis tensed and wet heat splashed over Jon’s stomach. Then the tensions left Ellis’s body and his shoulders heaved with silent crying.

Jon held him. “It’s okay, just let it go.”

Ellis exhaled one sob after the other until his tears soaked Jon’s face, hair, and neck. How could anyone contain this much grief and not be torn apart? Jon was awed and, at the same time, frightened.

When Ellis fell still the sound of their breathing filled the silence. He stayed where he was so long that Jon wondered if he’d fallen asleep. Then he turned his head.

“I want to go home.” The plea wasn’t much more than a whisper against Jon’s ear. “Please take me home.”

And Jon promised he would.

The furniture, the pictures, the book on the coffee table, were nothing but cardboard cutouts. Ellis took a few steps inside the farmhouse where he’d grown up and waited for some grain of familiarity to settle. It never came.

And he knew why.

Without Rudy, this place was just a house and no longer home.

Jon’s hand was a comforting weight on his shoulder. “Are you sure you want to do this? There’s an opening at the Holiday Inn, I can get us a room.”

As desolate as it was, Ellis needed to be here. He stopped close to the television. Somehow Ellis had overlooked the VHS tape of classic cartoons. It lay in front of the TV stand beside the empty case for Peter Pan. The idea of putting them away now felt like a violation.

In the dining room, Ellis touched the chair at the end of the table and dragged his fingers over the rise of the back. The shiny golden color had faded to a shade closer to dried straw. He’d planned to refinish the table this year.

Rudy wanted to paint it blue, but they’d settled on a dark cherry stain. A gallon can sat in the laundry room closet, right beside the washing powder. Ellis bought it months ago, but never got around to using it.

He walked into the kitchen.

Ellis opened the pantry, the refrigerator, the cabinets. Looking for something and nothing at all.

Down the short hall he came back out into the living room near the staircase. It was the first time he noticed the worn spots marking the edge of each step.

The ghost of Rudy’s heavy footsteps followed Ellis to the second floor. How many times had Ellis asked him to not stomp his feet? And now he would have given his very soul to hear the sound.

Ellis went into Rudy’s bedroom.

On his way to sit on the bed, Ellis picked up one of Rudy’s T-shirts from the basket of dirty clothes. He petted the fabric, then pressed it to his face and inhaled Rudy’s scent, bananas and pancakes.

Ellis hugged the shirt to his chest.

Dresser, pictures tacked to the wall above a drafting table, all the things that were a part of Rudy’s life, had been reduced to place holders that would remain where they were until someone moved them or Rudy returned.

And he’d never return.

What hurt Ellis the most was knowing Rudy hadn’t died from an illness, or an accident. He’d been murdered, all over pulling some stupid girl’s hair.

Lenny was responsible, even if no one believed it.

If only Ellis had paid closer attention at the grocery store. None of this would have happened and they’d probably be at the card shop right now, buying outdated packs of baseball cards with sticks of stale gum.

He closed his eyes.

I tried. I really did. But I messed up and you paid the price. I’m so sorry, Rudy. Please, please forgive me.

The floor creaked. “You okay?”

Ellis nodded then shook his head. No, he wasn’t okay, and he had a feeling he never would be again.

Jon sat and Ellis leaned against him.

“I hate to even bring this up.” Jon draped his arm around Ellis’s shoulders. “But have you thought about funeral arrangements?”

“Not…” Ellis cleared his throat. “Not really.”

“You’ll need to arrange something. They can only keep him so long.”

If they’d gone to Florida, they would have stayed only a little while. Rudy would have loved the ocean. Especially the sea shells. He would have brought them home by the buckets.

“Have them cremate him.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll take the ashes to Florida and spread them in the ocean. He’d like that. The sunshine. The water.”

There was a knock at the front door.

Jon squeezed Ellis’s leg. “Stay here, I’ll go see who it is.”

Even though George spoke low, his gravely voice was unmistakable. The door shut, leaving only silence.

Ellis went down the stairs and peeked out the window. George stood with Jon by the pickup. They had their heads close together. Jon cast a look back at the house with a grim expression.

Ellis walked out on the porch. Both of them had worry in their eyes. “Is there a reason you don’t want me to hear what you’re talking about?”

George adjusted his hat. “It’s not a matter of not wanting you to hear.”

“Then you think I can’t handle what you have to say.”

“You’ve been through a lot. George is just looking out for your best interests.”

“If you don’t mind,” Ellis went down the steps. “I’d like to decide that for myself.” He stopped beside Jon.

Tension cut grooves around George’s eyes.

Jon ran his hand down Ellis’s back. “I don’t think this is the right time.”

Ellis shrugged him off. To George he said, “Go on. I’m waiting.”

“Son—”

“Either talk or get the hell off my property.”

“The autopsy report came back.”

“And?”

“The wounds on Rudy’s body were not consistent to those that would be caused by a hit and run.”

“What were they consistent with?” He needed to hear George say it.

“He was beaten.”

Ellis clenched his fists. “I told you that bastard did this.”

“He couldn’t have,” Jon said. “He was in holding.”

“That’s the other half of the news,” George said. “They let him out a few hours early. His lawyer raised a stink and the assistant DA buckled. Lenny lives on Majors Road and Majors crosses over Grant down at the four way. Best I can guess, he was on his way home when he saw Rudy. I’m sorry, Ellis.”

Everything blurred. “And they’re not going to arrest Lenny, are they?”

“There’s no witnesses and very little physical evidence. They took photos of…” George rubbed the back of his neck. “There were some boot imprints on Rudy’s body. They’re trying to match them to a manufacturer. The other problem is proving Lenny was in that area at that time. He claims he went to Big Joe’s bar just like he does every night they’re open. The bar tender remembers him being there, but can’t say exactly when he left.”

“So he gets away with it? Again?”

“I won’t let him.”

“I don’t think you can stop him. I’m beginning to think no one can. No wonder that asshole has gotten away with so much. If he doesn’t own the cops, he has friends who will lie to give him an alibi. He could shoot me in front of the damn grocery store, in front of a hundred people, and he’d walk away scot-free. Just admit it, there’s nothing anyone can do.”

“We’ll get him.” George said. “I promise.”

“There is no we.” Ellis pointed a finger at the man. “You’re not in charge anymore. The deputies and current Sheriff may respect you, but you’re as powerless as I am.” Ellis stormed back into the house.

If anything was going to be done about Lenny, someone would have to be willing to break the rules just like him.

Ellis plopped down on the sofa. He’d spent the last four days crying almost nonstop, now the tears abandoned him. He couldn’t even say he was angry because what boiled inside him was a foreign creature. It touched a realm beyond rage, beyond any level of mortal emotion. There were simply no words to describe an inner storm that dark.

Ellis did know one thing, whatever was unleashed inside him would not rest until Lenny Whitman was a rotting corpse feeding the worms.

Jon came inside. He stopped by the couch.

“Teach me to use a gun.” Ellis looked at him. “Teach me. I want to know how to use a gun.”

“Why?”

So I can kill that bastard. So I can stick the barrel in his mouth and pull the trigger. “In case he comes here. I want to be able to defend myself. Defend you, if I have to.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” A tick jumped in Jon’s jaw. “At least not right now.”

“Why? You offered before.”

“I think you know why.”

“What? You think I’m going to hurt myself?” Ellis stood. “You think I’m going to put it to my head and pull the trigger?” He shoved Jon back. “Well, guess what? I’m not you. I’m not interested in killing myself.”

Jon flinched and his cheeks reddened. Unshed tears dance in Jon’s eyes.

His pain smothered Ellis’s anger. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.” Ellis dropped his chin. “I’m just so tired of everything. I’m so tired of being helpless. Please understand.”

Jon walked to the front door.

“Where are you going?” Ellis’s voice cracked.

“To take a walk.”

Ellis took a few steps. “I didn’t…damn it. Please, Jon.”

He jerked open the door. “I’m taking a walk.” The glass rattled when he slammed it shut.

Ellis kicked the coffee table and it skittered a few feet across the floor.

While Jon was gone, Ellis brought in the luggage that had been left in the truck, and the box of food Rudy had carried out there. Rain from the previous night left the cardboard swollen and soft. It took him a while to get the courage to pick it up. Then it was another challenge to get it inside.