My Brother's Keeper

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“I’m not an invalid.” Jon stood on the porch while Ellis and Rudy loaded the heavier boxes onto the truck. The house had been furnished so there wasn’t a lot to move. Books, a few keepsakes, pictures.

Ellis threw him a look over his shoulder. “Yes, you are.”

“It was a fracture, not an amputation.”

“They just took the cast off.”

“Two weeks ago.”

“You’re still healing.”

“Even if I agreed with you, which for the record, I don’t,” Jon held up his other hand. “I have a spare.”

Ellis walked up the steps and raked his gaze down to Jon’s knee then back.

“I have an extra knee too.” So what if he limped? It was just a limp. No big deal. “If you’re not going to let me help out, I might have to seriously reconsider this moving in with you thing.”

“Moving in with me ‘thing?” Ellis wrapped his arms around Jon’s neck.

Jon grinned. “Yeah, you know, a thing.” Ellis’s mouth closed over his and his tongue slipped past Jon’s lips. Ellis’s natural flavor was spiced with the food they’d eaten for lunch. Jon pushed a hand in Ellis’s hair, kissing him harder. He could never get enough.

A crash from inside made them both jump. “I didn’t touch it,” Rudy yelled.

“I think that was the box of dishes.” Jon went inside. Rudy stood in the kitchen surrounded by ceramic fragments. “Come on, get out of there before you get hurt.” Jon held out his hand.

“I didn’t touch it.”

“I know. Boxes of dishes have a bad habit of jumping off counter tops.”

“Am I in trouble?”

“No.”

“I was just trying to help.”

“It’s okay. Go stand on the porch.”

Ellis peeked his head in the door. “Hang on, let me get this last box to the truck and I’ll help.”

Jon waved him off. “Nah. I got it. Go ahead and take Rudy home. I’ll be right behind you.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Jon walked back to the door. “I need to clean this up. Now that all the breakables are taken care of, I won’t have to put them in the trunk of the car.” Ellis said something to Rudy and they got in the truck. The rumble of the engine vibrated the air. Ellis snapped on his seatbelt. He smiled and Rudy waved his hands. The pickup ambled down the drive and turned left onto the street. When it was out of sight, Jon went back inside to take care of the mess in the kitchen.

He got the dustpan and broom out of the cupboard, leaving it empty. Everything about this house was empty. Furniture or not, from the first day Jon walked in here it was nothing more than a shell, and never a home like Ellis’s house.

Home. It was home because Ellis lived there. Home because Rudy filled it with life. Home because being there put Jon at peace.

With Lenny in jail and waiting for trial, Jon could even relax and enjoy it. With luck, the bastard would rot. His two cop friends were going to suffer a worse fate living in the same cages with people they’d put away.

As far as John was concerned, it still wasn’t enough of a punishment.

After Jon dumped the last of the fragments into the trashcan he had one more item to deal with, and it was better Ellis wasn’t there to see it.

Jon pulled the stepladder from the closet and carried it over to the pantry. His knee protested as he climbed up, but it was only temporary. It had been almost six months since his run in with Lenny. Jon’s take home prize had been a bum knee and a white streak in his black hair that traced the scar running down the side of his head. A permanent reminder of how close he’d come to taking a bullet didn’t bother Jon, but he hated how Ellis would stare until there were tears in his eyes.

Jon took the metal box from the back of the pantry to the kitchen counter. He didn’t want to open it and face the monster in his closet.

Inside, the .38 was a black silhouette against the green paint. He took it out. Strange how the gun felt heavier than he remembered. Jon had never feared firearms. He’d not only been trained how to use them, but more than once they’d saved his life.

The idea of not having the .38 around left him feeling vulnerable and lost. Giving it up also meant having to accept there was no chance of reclaiming any part of his identity from his old life.

There were ways to hide the .38 and secure it if by chance it was found, but Ellis had made it clear no guns were allowed in his home.

So no matter how defenseless, how adrift, losing this one last piece of his past made Jon feel, he was willing to do it. He removed the clip, cleared the chamber, and put everything back in the box.

There was a pawn shop in town. He wouldn’t get much, but he wasn’t selling it for the money. He was selling it for Ellis.

As soon as the pawn shop opened in morning, the gun would be gone.

Ellis knocked on Rudy’s door.

“Yeah?”

The muffled sounds of happy cartoons came from inside his room.

“Can I come in?”

“I guess so.” Rudy sat at his drafting table. He was hunched over the piece of paper in front of him.

“Why aren’t you dressed for bed?”

“This is important.”

“What’s important?”

“This.”

“Your drawing?”

Rudy picked out another color from his pencil box. Then he continued his project.

“It’s almost dark outside. That means it’s time for bed.”

“But I need to finish.”

“C’mon, you can finish it tomorrow.”

Rudy sighed, “Okay.”

“Go pick out what you want to wear.” Ellis pushed the chair back under the table.

“I always wear pajamas. I have blue, green, red, but no yellow. I like the red ones best.” He went to the dresser and opened the top drawer.

“Your red ones are in the hamper, you’ll have to pick another color.”

While Rudy examined his choices, Ellis looked over at the picture his brother had been drawing. The thick layers of crayon and colored pencil swallowed up the white. Standing in the middle were two stick figures with their hands connected. The smiles on their faces were so wide they didn’t fit inside the circle of their heads. There were similar drawings tacked to the wall right above the drafting table. Some had three stick figures and a few had two. The one Rudy drew before Ellis met Jon hung at the top.

“Is this a picture of mom and dad?” Ellis went back to staring at the picture.

Rudy closed the dresser drawer. “No. It’s you and Jon. You’re holding hands because you’re happy. Jon makes sure your clothes aren’t wrinkled, so everyone knows he takes care of you.”

Ellis looked at the ones on the wall with three, then two, then back again. “Why aren’t you in the picture?”

“I think I messed up.”

“On the drawing?”

“Ellis. I’m wrinkled.” Rudy’s pajama top was crooked. “I wish I could button.”

Ellis fixed the gap. “Maybe one day.”

“No, I’m too stupid.”

“I thought we already had this discussion and you agreed not to call yourself that anymore.”

“It’s true.”

“No, it’s not.”

“I know you love me. I know you take care of me. But everything is so hard. Sometimes my brain gets tired. I want to be smart, so I can take care of my own clothes, and you won’t have to worry so much. But it doesn’t work.” Rudy fondled the buttons on his shirt. “Ice cream, baseball cards, and your smiles.” He looked up. Ellis could have sworn he saw tears in Rudy’s eyes, but he blinked them away. His usual smile appeared, shattering the look of a normal forty-five year old.

What kind of man would Rudy have been if he hadn’t suffered brain damage from the fever? An artist? No wait, an architect, and his specialty would be skyscrapers because he would be able to understand the complex math.

Rudy petted the front of his shirt. “Thank you, Ellis.”

“No problem.” He ruffled Rudy’s hair.

“It’s dark now, so I’m going to bed.”

“Good idea.”

“What if I need to go to the bathroom?”

“Night light is on in the hallway.”

“I won’t get in trouble?”

“No, Rudy, you won’t get in trouble.”

Rudy pulled the covers up to his neck.

Ellis picked up the picture. “You never did tell me why there’s only Jon and me in that picture.”

“So your clothes won’t be wrinkled, and everyone thinks I don’t take care of you.” He rolled over giving Ellis his back. “Goodnight, Ellis.”