Montana Bride (31 page)

Karl was shocked by Hetty’s announcement, but not surprised that she was pregnant. They made love every night. Sometimes twice a night. Pollinate a flower and it would bear fruit.

Hetty had whirled and run inside. Karl followed her all the way to their bedroom, where he found her sitting on the bed with her back to him. Her shoulders were slumped. Her head was down. She flinched when she heard the door click closed behind him.

Karl still felt a little stunned. He was going to be a father. Hetty was going to bear a child. For real this time.

That was the crux of the problem. Karl was afraid to trust his wife. She was willing to lie. And she was good at it. How could he build a relationship with someone he couldn’t trust? How could he share his innermost thoughts when she’d made it clear she didn’t love him? And now they were going to be the parents of yet another child.

Hetty kept her face turned away when she spoke. “I know I should have told you sooner, but I couldn’t quite believe it was true. When I did know for sure, I worried about what you would think, so I didn’t say anything. I was afraid.…”

Karl stayed by the door processing what she’d said. Apparently she’d known she was pregnant for some time. She’d kept the news to herself because…she was afraid?

“Afraid of what?” he said, leaning back against the door, his arms crossed.

She peeked over her shoulder at him, took a long look at his crossed arms and the muscle working in his jaw, and turned away again. “Of what you’re doing right now.”

Karl was irritated because she was pushing all the right buttons to make him feel guilty. He had a right to be wary of his secretive wife. He had a right to feel frustrated that she’d kept her pregnancy to herself instead of sharing it with her husband the moment she knew. It was something they should have celebrated together.

This was wonderful news. Or should have been.

“Exactly what am I doing?” he said at last.

She grabbed the bedpost and used it to pull herself upright before she turned to confront him. “Are you happy about this baby?”

Karl was startled by the question. “Of course!”

Her chin came up and her blue eyes sparked. “Then why are you standing over there with your arms crossed and your jaw clenched? Why aren’t you over here giving me a big hug and a kiss?”

Karl found himself captivated by her challenge. He crossed the room in three strides and stood looking down into her upturned face. Her absolutely beautiful face. Karl slid an arm around her waist and pulled her close, so he could feel the slight roundness of her belly, which held their child. His other hand captured her nape beneath her hair and angled her head for his kiss.

But he didn’t kiss her. He simply looked into her eyes, which were brilliant with tears.

“Love me, Karl,” she whispered.

He knew he should lift her into his arms and take her to bed and glorify the child growing inside her. But the bitterness won out. “I already tried that. It didn’t work.”

He watched the light die in her eyes.

He was on the verge of relenting when she thrust out her chin and said, “How long are you going to hold this grudge, Karl? I’d like to know. Till this child is three? Or six? Or till she’s Grace’s age?”

“How do you know it’s a girl?”

“All men want a son, and since all I ever do is spite you—at least, according to you—it’s sure to be a girl!” she spat.

Karl laughed and hugged her. And then kissed her, despite her struggle to get free. He felt the roundness of her belly and his heart faltered. He was happy about the child, but it wasn’t enough to fill his hurting heart. He wanted Hetty’s love.

He just didn’t think he’d ever get it.

So what if she never loved him? So what if he was the one doing all the loving? They were married for better or worse. Now they were going to have a child together. He could hide his empty heart from his wife. At least until her feelings softened toward him. If they ever did.

“Karl?” she said. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” He managed a smile. “More than fine. I’m going to be a father!”

Karl sat down on the bed and lifted Hetty into his lap. She draped her arms around his neck and leaned her head against his shoulder. He placed his hand on her belly and asked, “How far along are you?”

She blushed. “She must have been conceived on Christmas Eve.”

Karl counted the months. “So, September?”

She nodded.

“Tell me, Hetty, are
you
happy about this baby?”

“It’ll be wonderful to have a baby sister for Grace.”

“Or a baby brother for Griffin,” Karl said.

“It’s a girl,” Hetty said certainly.

“We’ll see.” Karl nuzzled her neck, and she leaned her head back to give him better access to her throat. Karl was quickly changing his mind about making love to his wife, when he heard a hard knock on the bedroom door.

Hetty would have leapt out of his lap, but he tightened his arms around her to keep her in place.

“Who is it?” he called, expecting it to be one of the children and intending to tell whichever one it was to go away.

“It’s me,” Dennis said. “It’s broad daylight, Karl. Leave your wife alone and come out here and talk to me. We’ve got a problem.”

Karl stood abruptly, set Hetty on her feet, and marched to the door. He was surprised to find Hetty standing right behind him when he stepped out of the bedroom to confront Dennis.

“What is it?” he said, hands on hips to let his friend know he didn’t appreciate being so rudely interrupted.

“It’s that kid from Texas, that Andy Peterson,” Dennis said.

Hetty stepped up beside Karl and asked, “What’s wrong? Is he hurt?”

Dennis frowned at Hetty, then said to Karl, “That blasted kid had the nerve to tell me he wasn’t going to take his oxen back up the mountain until we repaired the skid trail.”

“What’s wrong with the skid trail?” Karl asked.

“That Texan swears some of the timber we laid down to guide the logs downhill is coming loose in the spring melt. He’s
demanding
that we secure it better.”

“Have you checked it out?” Karl asked. “Is the platform loose?”

“Look, Karl, if we’re going to stay on schedule, we need the men to be cutting logs, not spending their days repairing a few loose timbers that only affect one kid and his cows.”

“Not cows,” Karl corrected. “Two very valuable oxen. Not to mention a pretty nice young man. If anything happens to the three of them, we won’t have a way to get logs off the mountain. Do the repair, Dennis.”

“I don’t think you understand the time we’ll lose—”

“Just do it,” Karl interrupted. “I understand precisely what’s at stake here. That boy and his bullocks are more important to me than meeting some quota my brother set. Are we clear?”

Dennis sneered. “That’s why your brother sent me here, Karl. Because you put people before profits. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from working with Jonas all these years, it’s that sacrifices have to be made.”

“I’ll be damned if I ever sacrifice a single person to the almighty dollar,” Karl retorted. “I want that skid trail fixed, and I want it done today.”

“Then you can do it yourself.” Dennis turned and stomped out of the house.

Karl huffed out a breath and shoved an irritated hand through his hair. A moment later he felt Hetty’s arms come around him from behind and hug him tight. He glanced over his shoulder. “What’s all this?”

“You’re right, Karl,” she said fiercely. “And Dennis is wrong.”

He loosened her hands and turned so he could take her in his arms. “He’s right that we’re going to lose time and get behind schedule.”

“People are more important than schedules.”

He sighed. “I agree. But my brother’s going to end up disappointed in me.”

She looked up at him and said, “I’m proud of you, Karl. I think you did the right thing.”

Karl’s throat ached. He hadn’t realized how much her approval would matter.

“And not just because Grace is sweet on Andy Peterson,” she continued.

Karl was jolted by the thought of that rowdy Texan with sweet, innocent Grace. All those questions Andy had drawn him aside to ask as they walked up the mountain, about how to woo a girl, suddenly made sense. “What did you say? Grace and Andy? I’ll kill that son of a bitch!”

Hetty grabbed him hard around the waist to keep him from suiting word to deed. She laughed at him and said, “Whoa! They’ve done nothing but talk, and I’m taking care of the matter. I never leave them alone together.”

“Maybe I better have a talk with him anyway,” Karl said, eyes narrowed.

“You’ll only make him more determined to spend time with Grace than I think he already is.”

“He’s not good enough for her.”

Hetty grinned at him. “You just told Dennis he was a pretty nice young man.”

“That was before I knew he was stalking Grace.”

Hetty laughed. “Karl, I had no idea you were going to be such a protective father.” She put a hand to her belly and said, “I can’t wait to see what a merry chase this little one leads you on.”

Karl laid his hand atop hers, looked into her shining eyes, and said, “Neither can I.”

“I forbid you to go on that stupid bear hunt!” Grace yelled as she entered the barn.

“You’re scaring Star,” Griffin replied as he stepped out of the stall where he’d been grooming his pony, closing the stall door behind him and wafting the pungent odor of fresh manure in her direction.

“You can’t go, Griffin,” Grace said. “I won’t allow it!”

“I don’t need your permission,” Griffin said as he turned his back on her and walked to the other end of the barn.

“Don’t walk away from me,” Grace said, hurrying after him.

He set the curry comb and brush back where they belonged, then swiped his hands on his trousers and set them defiantly on his hips. “Karl said I can go, so I’m going.”

“You might get killed. You might get eaten by a bear!”

Griffin laughed in her face. “Listen to yourself. Me and Karl and Dennis are going to be tracking that bear holding brand-new ’73 Winchesters. Nobody’s going to get hurt except that bear.”

“You don’t own a rifle.”

Griffin crossed to his saddle, which was perched on a saddle tree near the supply chest, and pulled a Winchester from a brand-new leather boot attached to it.

“Put that down!” Grace shrieked. “Where did you get that?”

Griffin held the rifle in both hands, the bore aimed at the ceiling. “Karl gave it to me today. He said I need to be able to protect myself if we get separated tomorrow.”

“Put it away! You have no idea how to load a rifle like that, let alone fire it,” Grace scoffed. “You’re more likely to shoot yourself than some bear.”

Griffin shook his head. “You’re wrong about that, Grace.”

“Oh, really?” She crossed her arms over her chest to maintain some semblance of control, because everything Griffin said sounded preposterous and outrageous. “Where did you get all this experience with a Winchester?”

“Joe taught me how to shoot last summer,” Griffin said as he returned the rifle to the leather boot.

“Joe? The bartender at the saloon? Why would he do that?”

Griffin leaned a hand on the horn of his saddle. “In case there was ever any trouble. He figured no one would suspect a kid like me could shoot. He kept an extra rifle under the bar.” He puffed out his chest. “I was his backup in case he got into trouble.”

Grace stared at her brother in disbelief. “You were only nine years old. What was he thinking?”

“I turned out to be a pretty good shot, if I do say so myself.”

“This is crazy. You’re just a little boy. You can’t—”

Griffin squared his shoulders and said, “We haven’t even been in the Bitterroot six months, and I’ve already grown an inch. I’m ten years old now, Grace. I have to learn how to be a man sometime.”

“But—”

“Karl won’t let anything happen to me.” His lips twisted wryly as he added, “Ma would give him too hard a time if he did.”

“I’ll make a scene,” she threatened. “I’ll cry till my face is red. I’ll beg Mom to make Karl leave you behind.”

“If you love Karl, you won’t do that, Grace.”

Grace caught her breath. “Why not?”

“I’m not goin’ on that bear hunt to hunt bear,” he said. “I’m goin’ on that hunt to protect Karl from Dennis.”

“What?” Grace was so shocked that her rubbery knees gave up the ghost, and she plopped down onto a scratchy bale of hay. “You really think Dennis will try to kill Karl on the hunt?”

“It’s too good an opportunity for him to pass up,” Griffin said. “He can shoot Karl by ‘accident’ and blame it on the hunt. Or just not back him up if that bear attacks.”

“But they’re supposed to be friends.”

“I think he’s jealous of Karl.”

“Jealous?”

“It’s pretty obvious Dennis has always wanted to be the boss of this outfit. If something happened to Karl, he’d get the job.”

“You’re being ridiculous. No one kills someone for a job.”

“I don’t think that’s all he wants,” Griffin said. “I think he’d be happy to have Ma, too.”

“She’d never marry Dennis.”

“She would if she didn’t have any other choice,” Griffin said grimly. “She married Karl to save us, and she didn’t even know him. She’d do what she had to do.”

Unfortunately, Grace thought he might be right. Which only frightened her more. “You’re just a little boy, Griffin,” she said, her eyes stark. “How are you going to stop someone as dangerous as you say Dennis is?”

“By keeping a close eye on the son of a bitch. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m starved. I’m goin’ to the house and get some supper.”

Griffin left the barn, closing the door behind him, leaving her sitting alone in the shadows. Grace stared after him. Her baby brother was growing up. When had he become so confident and sure of himself? That was all Karl’s doing, she thought. Their lives would be a disaster if Dennis killed Karl. And she didn’t want to think what life would be like for Hetty, who was expecting Karl’s baby, if anything happened to him.

Grace wondered if there was anything she could do to help keep Karl safe. Maybe she should throw that fit after all and insist that both Karl and Griffin stay home tomorrow.

“Hey! Anybody in here?”

“Andy? Is that you?” Grace called out.

“It’s me.”

Since Christmas, she’d often crossed paths with Andy, but they’d never been alone. Karl or Griffin or Hetty had always been there. Nevertheless, she’d learned that Andy planned to settle down someday and build himself a homestead where he could run cattle, and she’d told him about her decision to study botany from Karl’s books. He’d described the hill country west of San Antonio, where he’d grown up. She’d remained mute about her life in Cheyenne.

Grace never felt completely comfortable with the young Texan, probably because she wanted so much for him to like her, and she didn’t see how he could possibly get past all of her physical flaws. She’d complained to him more than once about her impossible red curls, but he’d laughed and said, “I like them. They’re wild and free. Like you.”

It was hard for Grace to see herself as “wild and free,” but she’d felt a knot in her chest loosen a little bit, so the next time they were together she was able to say, “Your eyes remind me of a lion.” He’d laughed again and made claws of his hands and roared like a lion and said, “I might just eat you for supper. You’re so sugar sweet, I figure you’d make a pretty tasty meal.”

Being called “sugar sweet” had loosened that knot in her chest a little more, so she’d started looking forward to the few moments they spent together when they bumped into each other. She’d never gone so far as to arrange to be alone with him. He’d never asked for such a thing, and she’d been too shy to mention it.

But here they were, suddenly alone. Grace felt her heartbeat ratchet up. It seemed like she’d been waiting for this moment ever since Christmas. Now that it was here, she felt the urge to bolt. She made herself stay where she was. It was only Andy. They would talk and laugh together as they always had.

He could never be anything more to her because of what had happened in Cheyenne.

She watched the dust motes in the streaming sunlight disappear as Andy shut the barn door behind him. He crossed to the end of the barn where she was sitting and said, “What are you doing in here all alone?”

“Until a few minutes ago, I wasn’t alone. I was trying to talk my idiot brother out of going on that stupid bear hunt.”

“It’s not stupid,” Andy said as he sat down beside her.

Grace could feel the warmth of his thigh through her dress. She would have sidled away, except there was no more room on the bale of hay. Her heart started beating harder, and she could feel the red stain growing on her throat where a blush had started.

“Karl wants to cut trees right where that grizzly marked his territory,” Andy explained. “It’s him or us.”

“That bear’s got as much right to that mountain as you do,” Grace said. “Why can’t Karl find another place to cut?”

“Snow’s melting off the mountain. We’d have to take time to make a new skid trail if we cut somewhere else.”

Grace made a face. “Doesn’t sound very fair to the bear.”

Andy laughed. “Only you would worry about the bear, Grace.”

“I mean it.”

“That’s what I love about you,” Andy said.

He was still smiling, still laughing when he said it, but the words took Grace’s breath away. She was staring into his golden eyes, waiting for him to realize what he’d admitted.

He sobered and reached for her hand and twined their fingers together. She realized for the first time how callused his hands were. He must not have shaved that morning, because a dark blond stubble shadowed his cheeks and chin.

He kept his gaze steady on hers as he spoke. “I’ll be seventeen next month. I have the money from the sale of my family’s ranch in Texas. Whenever you’re ready, we can get married and settle anywhere you like.”

Grace lowered her gaze and eased her hand free, knotting her hands in front of her so he couldn’t take one again. “I can’t ever marry you, Andy.”

“I love you, Grace.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you love me anymore? You said you did on Christmas morning. Are you taking it back?”

Grace had been exuberant Christmas morning, filled with excitement over having a kitten of her own, which had carried over into an effusive thanks that had ended with the words, “I love you, Andy.”

Now she had to explain away those words, which Andy had given a far weightier meaning than she’d intended.

She met his gaze and said earnestly, “I was grateful Christmas morning, because I knew it was you who told my mom I wanted a kitten. And you who picked out that particular kitten for me. And you who made sure that Socks was wearing a red ribbon when you put her into my arms, just as I told you I’d always dreamed.”

“Then you didn’t mean what you said?”

Grace swallowed hard. She’d never loved anyone—not Karl, not Hetty, not even Griffin—as much as she loved Andy. But she could never marry him. Because of what she’d done.

She lowered her gaze to her white-knuckled hands. “I meant it when I said it,” she said in a small voice. “There are things you don’t know about me, Andy. Things I can’t undo.”

“Nothing else matters if you love me,” Andy said ardently. “Is it because you’re only fourteen? I’ll wait for as long as you want.”

She shook her head. “It isn’t that. I’d marry you tomorrow if I could.”

Grace was so surprised when Andy raised her chin and kissed her—and she liked the feel of his lips on hers so much—that she let the kiss continue a very long time. She wanted it to go on forever. But it was unfair to lead him on. “Stop!” she cried. “Please, Andy. Don’t kiss me anymore.”

He looked abject as he let her go. “You didn’t like it?”

She put a gentle hand to his cheek and looked into his eyes and said, “I loved it. But we can’t be kissing like this, because I can’t marry you. Not now. Not ever.”

“Why not? Just tell me why,” he pleaded.

Grace tried to think of a lie Andy would accept that wasn’t as bad as the truth. But her mind went completely blank.

Grace knew how much trouble all the deceit had caused between Hetty and Karl. She didn’t want to lie to Andy. If she married him without saying anything about her past, he might never know she hadn’t come to him untouched. But she would know. Keeping secrets from the start would eventually spoil everything. Better to tell Andy the truth and end it all now. But where should she start?

“I’m not really Hetty’s daughter,” she began.

“I know.”

Grace gasped and her gaze shot to his. “How could you possibly know that?”

Andy untied the knot she’d made of her fingers and took one of her hands in both of his. “Griffin hinted as much the night he got that lump on his head. Since then, we’ve spent a lot of time together on the mountain, and he’s told me everything.”

Grace panicked. Surely Griffin hadn’t told him
everything.
Surely he hadn’t! She tried to flee, but Andy held on to her hand. “Let me go, Andy! I want to go!”

“Sit down, Grace,” he said calmly. “Let’s talk.”

“Talking won’t change anything!” she said angrily. “If you know the truth, then you know what I am. And why I can’t marry you.”

“I know you’re the woman I love.”

“You can’t love me. I’m a whore! I’ve sold my body for money.”