Miss Jane's Undoing (4 page)

At the same time, his hands roamed across her body, from her breasts to her hips, caressing her curves but in a teasing manner.  She stood on her toes, pushing her breasts out further, insinuating her derriere into his hands.  If Tommy hadn’t known better, he would have assumed that she was an experienced woman who knew exactly what to do to turn him on.  The temptation to have her right there was great, and she seemed to be ready.  Yet, Tommy held back, fighting the urgency of his passion, giving her less than her body demanded.  Not to be satisfied with such treatment, Jane twined her arms around him, touching him in the same way that he was touching her.  She pulled off his coat and then his waistcoat, leaving him in his shirtsleeves.  Her hands moved lower, to touch his manhood, but he gripped her wrist before she could go any further.

“Wait,” said Tommy, agitatedly running his hand through his hair.  At this rate, he would never get around to saying what he wanted to say.  He looked away from Jane so that she wouldn’t see how much she tempted him, how much it cost him to resist.  Last time, with her willing submission, it had been hard enough.  Now, with her as an active participant, it was all he could do not to tear off that chemise and throw her on the grass.

Tommy stood there in a state of indecision, his physical needs warring with his heart.  He could neither carry on with the lovemaking nor declare himself as he had meant to do.  He just stood there, dazed, making an effort to collect himself but distracted by her loveliness.  That pause, however, proved to be his undoing because it gave Jane the chance to retreat.  Before he could say anything, she gathered her things together and ran into the woods, tears glistening in her eyes.

****

Tommy cursed himself several times after meeting Jane by the stream.  Perhaps it was time for him to just go over to her house where he could formally ask for her hand.  He’d delayed long enough out of a fear of rejection and then, he’d picked the worst possible time to speak.  He should have realized that her attempt to seduce him meant that she felt the same way about him.  Instead of stopping her in a misguided attempt to seal the deal, he should have let matters take their natural course.  It was just so hard to read Jane.  At one moment, he was convinced that she cared about him, but shortly thereafter, doubts assailed him.  In any case, Tommy didn’t have to wonder what to do for very long; the vicar proposed to Jane that very evening.

Tommy heard about this occurrence at the dinner table; the entire family was agog with the news while his sister Elizabeth looked at him sardonically, as if to say, “I told you so.”  Tommy was quiet throughout the meal and ate little, disappointing his mother who was all solicitude.  She had not had the opportunity to fuss over him for the past three years while he’d been at Oxford, so she tried to cram in all the maternal feelings she  could—often to Tommy’s frustration and Elizabeth’s great amusement.

“Well, it’s about time,” said Tommy’s father.  “We kept hearing about the possibility for the past year.  I, for one, am heartily sick of the topic.  Let them marry or not marry.  What difference can it make?”

“Well, it’s not a bad catch for her,” said Tommy’s mother.  “The vicar has a nice appointment and a nice house and since Jane is not to come into very much money of her own, one can’t really expect her to do much better, despite her good looks.”

“So it’s all settled then?” Tommy asked finally.  “She accepted his proposal?”

“Of course she did,” said Tommy’s mother.  “For a while, it looked as though she was holding out for William Casey, but he couldn’t be brought up to scratch.”

“I, for one, am surprised,” said Elizabeth.  “Jane has never shown any preference for the vicar.  If anything, it seemed to me as if she avoided his advances.  Now, of a sudden, they are to be married.  Something must have happened to tip her in that direction.”  She looked pointedly at Tommy, who said nothing.

After dinner, Tommy told his family that he had some letters to write and disappeared into the library, where he paced back and forth.  He had no desire to write letters or read books.  It was a time for action, but what would be the best action to take?  He wasn’t sure.  Elizabeth entered the library to talk to him about the matter, and he didn’t attempt to throw her out this time.  She was a young woman.  Maybe she would know how Jane felt.  Tommy was at his wit’s end and ready to try anything.

“Well, brother,” said Elizabeth with mock sadness, “isn’t this a depressing business?  Jane and the vicar?  Why, he’s vain and boring and I’m sure that Jane could do a great deal better.”

“Do you really think so?”  Tommy asked despondently.  “Perhaps she would be better off with him than with me. 
She
certainly seems to think so!”

“Obviously the two of you have had some kind of disagreement.  I know you’ve been going to see her every day during her daily walks.  You wouldn’t have done that unless she’d given you some encouragement.”

“I thought that things were going well.  We seemed to be getting closer and then, we had a misunderstanding.”

“Well, no matter what you fought about, you must make the first move to rectify the situation.  Time is of the essence.  Jane has already agreed to the vicar’s proposal.  Short of kidnapping her and taking her to Gretna Green, there’s not much you can do—unless you manage to change her mind somehow.  I take it you renewed your proposal during your walks?”

Tommy looked up at his sister shamefacedly.  He had thought about proposing again, of course, but kept putting it off, unwilling to risk another rejection.  And today, when Jane offered herself up to him, body and soul, he’d rejected
her
.

“You didn’t propose!” Elizabeth exclaimed.  “No wonder she’s intent on tying the knot with the vicar.  You sought out her company so many times, leading her to expect a proposal which never came.”

“It wasn’t exactly like that,” Tommy protested.  But, upon thinking about it, he realized that that was exactly what it was like—at least in Jane’s eyes.  He’d never tried to view things from her perspective before, but now, he saw things differently.  The magnitude of Jane’s gesture earlier in the day, hit him full force.  He had to make things right.  But how?

“It’s not too late,” said Elizabeth.  “Go to her house tomorrow or meet her by the avenue.  I’m sure you’ll be able to contrive something.  She loves you, Tommy.  I can see it in her eyes.  She looks at you differently since you returned from Oxford.  You’ve grown up and so has she.”

****

Jane was mortified at her own actions.  She didn’t know what had possessed her to behave in the way she had by the stream.  Allowing herself to be swept away in the heat of the moment was one thing but actually setting out to seduce a man was another.  She was a shameless hussy with no regard for propriety or decorum.  But she had hoped that Tommy would see past all that to her need to please him and be with him in the most intimate way possible.  When she’d seen the look on his face as she came out of the water, she’d been sure of success.  She’d felt like a powerful goddess then.  But her dreams had come crumbling down in that moment when he had turned away from her, as though pained.  He’d been disgusted and rightly so.  He’d assumed that she was an innocent young woman poised on the brink of womanhood.  Now, he probably thought that she allowed all her suitors such liberties.  Jane was so angry at herself, she wanted to scream.  At least, she reassured herself, she’d now learned her lesson.  She would no longer let herself be guided by her feelings and would make the most prudent match possible.

It had not been her intention to rush into anything but the vicar caught her unawares.  In a fit of desperation, she allowed him to pop the question, answering with an impatient yes.  She wanted this whole business of choosing a mate to be over and done with.  It made no difference who she married if she couldn’t be with Tommy, the only person so far that she could imagine herself in love with.  This thought entered her mind out of the blue, like an epiphany.  The truth had been before her all along and yet, she had shied away from it.  She loved Tommy!  She loved the dear, sweet boy that she had known all her life, who had been her partner in many games, but she was in love with the man he had become—the handsome, intelligent, well-spoken young man who she thought was courting her until it became apparent that he had merely let his desires lead him into a situation that he was not prepared to confront.  Since he came back from Oxford, Jane didn’t think that Tommy was in love with her anymore, but he seemed to desire her and she had submitted, even inflamed his desire.  She’d behaved in a most unladylike fashion and Tommy had merely gone along with it.  What man would have turned down something that was so easily achieved, something just there for the taking?  Jane wept bitterly at her imprudence.  Thankfully, no one had to know anything, for she was still a virgin.

Jane assumed, after Tommy’s rejection by the stream, that she was safe from his advances.  She might have behaved like a shameless hussy, but at least
he
had come to his senses before it was too late.  A few tears escaped from Jane’s eyes in the dark of her bedroom.  She swept them aside and made a concerted effort to go to sleep.  The vicar would come by in the morning to spend the day with her and she couldn’t look puffy-eyed the day after her engagement or everyone would suspect something was wrong.  As she deliberately closed her eyes, though, she heard a noise at her window.  At first, she thought that she had imagined it, but when it was repeated, she got up to investigate.

When she saw Tommy outside waving for her to go downstairs, she was astonished and her heart beat a little bit faster.  His appearance may not have been calculated to provoke admiration, for his shirt was wrinkled, and his hair uncombed.  He looked younger than he really was, rather like the boy that Jane used to hang out with, not a man at the beginning of a promising career.  However, she motioned to him to go away and went back to sit at the edge of her bed.  But Tommy continued his assault on her window and finally, she grabbed a shawl and quietly made her way out the back door where he awaited her.

“What are you doing here?”  Jane asked, with all the indignation she could muster.

“What are you doing?”  he responded.  “You’re going to marry the vicar?  Isn’t that a little bit fickle, even for you?  To kiss and be made love to by one man in the afternoon and agree to marry another the same evening?”

“The way I remember it, I wasn’t made love to,” said Jane haughtily.

“Well, I’m here to make sure you remember it differently,” said Tommy.  Then, picking her up as though she were as light as a feather, he threw her over his shoulder and started walking.  Jane would have screamed if she wasn’t so surprised.  Besides, being hauled about in this way was not particularly easy, she realized; she was out of breath half the time and trying to maintain her balance the other half of the time.  By the time she even thought about screaming, they were halfway to the stream.  If she did cry out now, she would be discovered in the dark with a man and her reputation would be ruined.  She could claim that she had been taken against her will, but would people believe her?  She had a shawl and slippers, which indicated that she had left the house willingly.  Jane settled for punching Tommy in the back and whispering over and over, “let me go!”

Tommy didn’t stop until they were at their spot by the stream.  He didn’t respond to Jane’s pleadings to be set down either.  It seemed as though he had only one object in mind now—to make her his.  Did he mean to ruin her matrimonial chances altogether?  Despite herself, Jane felt a flutter of excitement in the pit of her stomach.

“No need to whisper now,” he said finally, as he set her down by the stream.  “No one can hear you.”

“I want to go back, Tommy.  Why have you brought me here?”

“Why do you think?”  Jane could have sworn there was an evil glint in his eye as he said this.  She almost felt a little bit afraid and shrank back.

Tommy sighed and approached her more gently now, but his hands were still curled into fists.  “I just wanted to talk to you,” he said.  “I don’t want you to marry the vicar.  I want you to marry me.”

“And was it really necessary to abduct me to propose?  Couldn’t you have come to my house and taken a walk in the shrubbery or something like that?  Why do you always go to such extremes, Tommy?”

“Jane,” said Tommy, running his fingers through his hair in a gesture of frustration, “I love you.  Will you be my wife?”

Jane bit her lip.  A part of her wanted to leap into his arms, joyfully, but she was still suspicious.  “What about this afternoon then?” she asked.  “You turned away from me.  I thought…”

“I don’t know what you thought,” said Tommy, “but whatever it was, it wasn’t true.  I love you.  I’ve loved you since I was sixteen.  I tried to put a stop to things this afternoon because I didn’t want to take advantage of your innocence.  I didn’t want to force your hand until you knew how you felt about me.”

“Oh,” said Jane.  It was all she could say.  She realized that Tommy had really been looking out for her own best interests.  He had pushed her away for her sake, not for his own.

“And then you accepted the vicar,” said Tommy, “which made me believe that I had done the right thing today—that you didn’t really love me, and that I had stopped us from making a big mistake.”  He turned to look at her.  “Is it true?  Do you love him?  Was this afternoon a mistake?”

Mutely, Jane shook her head.  She was so overcome that she couldn’t say anything.  Instead, she buried her head in his shoulder.

“When you walked out of the water today,” said Tommy, “I could barely believe my good fortune.  I wanted to ravish you then and there.  But we’ll have plenty of time for that, when you’re Mrs. Bailey, right?”

Jane nodded, wiping away a tear of happiness.  They stood there holding each other for a long time.  Finally, they parted.

“Come,” said Tommy, “I’ll take you home.  I’ll speak to your father tomorrow to settle everything.”

“Can’t we just stay here a little while longer?”  Jane asked.  “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.”

“Don’t tempt me again Jane, unless you really do want to lose your virginity before our wedding night.”

Jane looked up at him slyly.  Then, dropping her shawl, she walked over to the stream in her light white nightgown.  Undoing her hair from the ribbons that held it, she let it flow freely down her shoulders.  And then, as she had the previous afternoon, she submerged herself in the stream completely, swimming in the shallow water.  When she stood up, her figure was completely revealed.  But instead of coming out, she motioned to Tommy to join her in the stream.  Pausing to take off his clothes, Tommy entered the water.  His taut physique, developed when he took up rowing at Oxford, was quite different from the scrawny adolescent body she remembered him having before.  With wet hands, she caressed his chest and shoulders, watching as he leaned his head back, as though lost in rapture at her mild touch.  He caught her hand then and kissed away the droplets of water, then followed a path up her arm, which gave her goose bumps.  Her breasts, though covered by her flimsy wet nightgown, responded shamelessly to his touch.  He brushed the tips of her nipples with his thumbs; the back and forth motion caused them to pucker up, and she sighed.

Then, Tommy’s lips were on her throat, stealing the moisture that still beaded there.  They made their way to her mouth where his tongue boldly penetrated and was welcomed.  The sensations were so overwhelming for Jane, that she felt her legs wobble beneath her.  But Tommy’s arms were around her, holding her up and her breasts, her entire body was pressed against his so that she could feel his hardness even though their lower halves were still submerged.  He lifted her effortlessly and sat her on a rock at the edge of the stream, a position from which he could still stand in the water and kiss her and touch her and drive her crazy with passion.  Jane felt that she could take it no longer.

“Now, please,” she said softly in his ear.  “Take me now.  I want to be yours.”

Those words were enough for Tommy to comply and wrapping her legs around him as she sat on the bank, he entered her slowly.  Given the intensity of all her other feelings, Jane barely even noticed the slight pain of losing her maidenhead.  It was gone in a moment and Tommy was cradling her face and asking her if she was all right.  She nodded and he started moving within her, slowly but firmly.  One hand lent support to her back while with the other he continued to stroke her breasts.

Jane didn’t understand the sensations that were overtaking her.  At the same time she felt pleasure, she also craved something more, something deeper.  And with each stroke, she felt herself getting closer and closer to that thing.  Finally, it burst within her and she looked up at Tommy in amazement, as the person who had brought her to this climax.  Tommy waited until the contractions inside her had subsided, then slowed his rhythm a little, causing her to start building up again.  Jane didn’t think it would be possible quite so soon but the pleasure of feeling his hardness inside her and his arms around her was sensation enough.  She was wrong though, in assuming that her body would be satisfied with the one orgasm for, with Tommy’s deft maneuvering, she felt her back start to arch again as her body tensed for the next wave of sensation.  This time, the buildup was longer but the end result was far more satisfying, coming as it did at the same time as Tommy’s release.

She collapsed along the bank of the stream, exhausted and exhilarated, the man she loved by her side.