Miss Jane's Undoing (2 page)

For once, Jane was speechless, but she soon recovered.  “That would have been just like you,” she laughed.  “You were always up for a bet.  I never knew you to lose one either.”

“There’s still time for me to win it,” said Tommy, catching her wrist and gently pulling her towards him.  His fingers brushed along the exposed skin of her arm.  Once again, his hands were on her shoulders, drawing her closer to him until she could feel the hard muscles of his body against the softness of her own.  Her mouth quivered as she looked up at him, her eyes mildly quizzical but unresisting.  If he were to try to kiss her now, she thought, she wouldn’t mind so much.

But he didn’t kiss her.  His fingers ran along the exposed nape of her neck and traced the line of her jaw.  His other hand slid downwards, pulling her closer to him.  And then…he just looked at her.  She felt as though she could barely breathe.  Her hands had wound around his chest and now rested on his back.  Her breasts heaved and her knees would have given way if it hadn’t been for the steadying influence of his hand on her back.  Her eyelids were half-closed  and she felt his lips cool against her forehead, making their way down the side of her face.  He stroked her neck some more and she emitted a little sigh.  Suddenly aware of what she was doing, she started to blush again and pull away a little.  However, Tommy’s arm was too strong for her mild resistance and his lips continued their way down until they were on her shoulders.  She stopped resisting and her body arched upwards, thrusting her breasts out.  She wanted him to continue his assault on her senses.  She wanted him to pull away the bit of lace that covered her shoulders and breasts.  But he continued to kiss her through the lace, a sweet, wet stream of kisses that drove her mad with passion.

At the same time, Tommy’s hands were kneading her back, causing her to relax against his palms.  When his fingers found their way to her neck, the sensation was exquisitely delightful and she nearly moaned out loud, checking herself when she realized where she was and how close they were to discovery.  Someone could walk out on the balcony at any second and see her behaving in a completely wanton manner.  She didn’t know what had come over her.  She had kissed other boys but she had never felt this loss of control.  The funny thing was that Tommy hadn’t even actually kissed her yet.  His lips were roaming everywhere except in the vicinity of her mouth.  And now, his hands had moved away from her back, supported by the wall.  She expected him to start caressing the nape of her neck again and turned her head, exposing it further.  Instead, with a shock, she realized that he was rubbing her nipples with his thumbs, through the soft muslin of her dress.  She had never been touched so intimately and the sensation was so violent, she almost wanted to cry.  In fact, a tear slid out of the corner of her eye and slid down her face.

As Tommy’s lips fluttered across her cheek, her tear was kissed away.  But rather than continue his lazy seduction, his hands stopped touching Jane abruptly, causing her eyes to jerk open.  She looked up at him in a daze, wanting him to continue, trusting him completely with her body.  However, he stepped away from her so that they were no longer touching and adjusted her dress which had come askew.  Then, running his fingers through his hair, a harried look upon his face, he gave her his arm.  “Shall we go back?” he asked.

Back in the dancing room, Jane realized that she had barely been missed.

“Were you out on the balcony with Tommy?” asked her sister Mary.  “It’s awfully hot in here, isn’t it?  I knew I didn’t have to worry about you with him.  After all, the two of you grew up together.  You’re practically like brother and sister.”

“Practically,” said Jane.

****

Stupid, stupid, stupid, thought Tommy.  What had he been thinking?  This was Jane, the love of his life, not some lightskirt of the kind that he’d been introduced to by his friends in college.  He was hardly a rake but there had been a couple of women in the past few years to introduce him to the art of lovemaking.  Unfortunately, his experience with this kind of woman seemed to have ruined him for a more respectable union.  He had no idea how to behave with a lady anymore.  Funny that the problem had never come up when he visited his friends over vacations and their beautiful sisters were always around.  He had felt no need to restrain himself then.  What was it about Jane?

“Ruminating again?”  It was Elizabeth, poking her nose where it didn’t belong.

“What does it take to get a little bit of privacy around here?” he asked grouchily.

“Looks like your plan didn’t work too well, brother dear.  But not to worry.  Elizabeth is here to take matters into her own hands.  Put on your shoes.  We are going to pay a morning call.”

“I’m sure I’m the last person that Jane wants to see right now,” he said.  “We talked the other night, at the dinner, and let’s just say that the impression I made was not exactly the one I had hoped to make.  I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to speak to me again.”

“I don’t know what you talked about on the balcony,” said Elizabeth.  When Tommy turned around, startled, she added, “Yes, I noticed.  However, I don’t think many other people did.  So you should be safe.  But don’t you think you were rather unkind to her the rest of the evening?  It looked like you were avoiding her.  Is that your plan?  To make her come to you?  Because it doesn’t look like it’s working.  Put on your shoes now or I will tell Mama just how disobliging you have become in your days at Oxford.  You’re too good to escort your little sister on her errands.”

“Fine,” said Tommy, “but we’re not staying more than fifteen minutes.”

The fifteen minutes turned into forty-five and when Tommy left Jane’s house, it was with reluctance.  She’d blushed to see him but, after that, she was her usual delightful self, talking and laughing in high spirits.  She reminded him of the girl she had once been—hoydenish, to be sure, but bewitching all the same.  Of course, he had no time alone with her.  His sister Elizabeth and her sister Mary were present the whole time, as was Jane’s mother, an indolent woman who merely rested on the sofa and nodded and smiled every now and then, unless a subject came up that sparked her interest.  Yet, Tommy was content to just look upon her lovely face, her skin so delicate, almost transparent, in contrast with her dark hair and eyes.  Those eyes were so expressive and that mouth seemed to beg for his kisses.  Her entire person roused him with its soft curvature, barely hidden in the light muslin she wore.  Tommy shook his head in an attempt to focus on the present.  It would do no good to moon over her beauty all the time.

“Have you told her how you feel?” asked Elizabeth.

“There hasn’t really been a chance,” he answered, evasively.  There had been a chance, of course, but he had used it for other purposes.  Now, he wondered if she would ever consent to meet him alone again.  There was no opportunity for her to do so, anyway.  They could meet at social occasions but there would always be chaperones around.  However, some words of her mother came back to him.  It seemed that the heat was too much for Mrs. Fielding to take her usual walks in the late afternoon and Mary not being very fond of walking, Jane took an evening stroll by herself in a shady avenue that was little frequented.  Tommy knew exactly which avenue Mrs. Fielding had been talking about.  It had been a favorite haunt of Tommy’s and Jane’s when they were younger.  They climbed the trees, splashed around in a nearby stream and went home looking like street urchins until, of course, she grew up and became the toast of the town.  He’d had no idea that Jane still went there and determined to exploit this piece of information to its fullest.  If he could appeal to the part of her that was still his childhood friend, he might have a better chance than the vicar or William Casey.

****

That evening, Tommy just happened to want to take a stroll and it was all he could do to prevent Elizabeth from accompanying him.  Finally, he just told her the truth; he hoped to speak with Jane privately, upon which Elizabeth immediately desisted, finding a piece of embroidery that urgently needed her attention.

Tommy dressed with care, making sure that there wasn’t a speck of dust on his hat and his shoes gleamed with polish.  He got to the avenue first and waited for Jane, leaning against a tree which held fond memories for him.  They had climbed it many a time and taken shelter while pelting unsuspecting passersby with fruit.  Jane arrived a quarter of an hour after him, wearing a pretty muslin gown and no jewelry except for a plain cross around her neck.  He took her in before she noticed him; she looked even prettier dressed simply than at the party.  She had been walking for a few minutes and there was color in her cheeks.  She started when she saw him and appeared unsure whether to continue or go back.  He made the decision for her, approaching her and offering his arm.  She seemed to take it with a certain amount of reluctance, but overall appeared happy to see him.  Perhaps she was regretting the abandon with which she had given herself to him the other night.  Tommy thanked his stars that he had come to his senses before anyone walked in on the two of them.

“Well, isn’t this nice?” asked Tommy, “for us to be reunited at our usual haunt?  Shall we climb a tree or walk to the stream?”  He smiled to indicate that he was joking.

“Tommy, about the other night…” Jane trailed off.  Tommy wished he could force her to continue, to know whether she had enjoyed herself as thoroughly as he.  Every time he’d remembered her soft compliance as he kissed her face, his hands roaming all over her body, he’d been inflamed.

“We don’t need to talk about it,” he said, much against his inclination.  He was going to try to be a gentleman from now on, in words as well as actions.  “I just came here to spend some time with you.  As you said at the party, we’ve always been friends and I don’t see why we shouldn’t continue to be.”

Jane bit her lip and looked as though she would have said more.  Was that a look of disappointment on her face?  But surely she couldn’t be disappointed that he wasn’t taking his amorous inclinations further.  When she turned her face away, he took her gesture for one of disgust—at him and at herself.

“I’m sorry if I took advantage of your being alone on the balcony that night,” he said.  “It was wrong of me.  But I don’t regret it.”

“Well, it’s not as though you have anything to lose.”  Jane’s tone was bitter.  “You’re a man and can do as you please.  I can’t afford to take such chances or my matrimonial prospects will be forever doomed.”  Her tone was sharp and goaded him into being direct about her matrimonial intentions.

“So are you planning to marry the vicar then?” he asked.  “Or has your fancy decided upon William Casey or some other beau that I know nothing about?”

“I’m not planning on anything,” said Jane.  “First of all, I haven’t even been asked by either of them.  It would be presumptuous of me to make a decision without knowing whether a man intends to ask for my hand.”

“Don’t play coy with me,” said Tommy.  “I’ve heard all the local gossip.  You’ve just been giving the vicar the run around.  If it isn’t for William Casey, then why are you doing it?  Is there someone else—a clandestine affair perhaps?”

“Tommy, I don’t know why you think you have the right to waltz into my life and ask me all manner of personal questions.  One might think you were planning on asking me to marry you yourself.”

“And if I were?” asked Tommy.  “What would your answer be?”

“I suppose you’ll never know until you ask.”

****

From that day on, Tommy started showing up at the avenue every day to walk with Jane.  It seemed to him that she was always on her guard and, reluctant to put her in a compromising position, he made no effort to kiss her again, only occasionally offering her his arm.  One day, however, it was particularly hot and although he wasn’t in the mood for a walk, he showed up at the usual time, looking rather fagged.

“Do you remember how we used to go to the stream on really hot days?” he asked.  “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to go there now, and dip our feet in the water?  It’s not as though anyone will see us.  It used to be our own special place.  Has it changed at all?”

“To tell the truth, I rarely go there anymore but it does sound delightful.  Let’s go before I change my mind.”

They made their way through a wooded section that Tommy remembered well since their younger days.  Very little had changed.  He observed the sun coming through the leaves to shine on Jane’s face every now and then.  She looked lovely—like a forest nymph—and his suppressed libido gave him a jolt.  There had, of course, not been any opportunities for satisfying it since he came home, except for the one night on the balcony, and that had ended abruptly.  Now, the two of them were alone and Tommy knew that no one would disturb them by their special spot near the stream.  But Jane had made it clear that she was a proper young miss who had only lapsed for an instant the other day.  Would she accept his advances now?

They came out of the woods and found themselves in a little meadow which was exactly as he remembered it; the stream formed a picturesque arc through the woods.  Laughing at their  antics, they removed their shoes and, pulling up their clothing, immersed their lower legs in water.  Jane reached down to the stream and, taking some water in her hands, splashed it on her face, then leaned backwards, resting her body on her elbows.  She appeared completely unselfconscious as though she had started to think of Tommy in the old light again, as a childhood friend.  It was the effect that Tommy had wanted to create, with his restraint when it came to touching or kissing her.  But he had never stopped thinking of her as a sexual being; he was constantly fantasizing about running his hands through her hair or stroking her face, neck and other places which he didn’t want to dwell on now, given his tenuous self-control.