Midnight Snack and Other Fairy Tales (32 page)

JOY

Still no George.

GUNTER

We must assume they have him.

LORNA

This is so horrible. Think of it—our people being snatched off the streets and stuffed into the chips that go into
these
.

HARRY

No wonder we manage to pack so much processing power into the things. We’re stuffing whole human
minds
into the electronics.

PARIO

I for one do not want to spend eternity running somebody’s apps!

JOY

Or in a landfill when the rest of the hardware wears out.

HARRY

(guilty)

No landfills. The chip’s recyclable.

LORNA

But what can we do?

Gunter produces the manual, riffles through it until he finds the right page: hands it to Harry. Harry reads.

GUNTER

I was looking through this last night. I do not understand all the terminology, but the small pentagrams used for capture all seem to derive their functionality from the big one. All the chips do, too.

HARRY

It looks that way, doesn’t it. If you could disrupt the big one…

GUNTER

It would take more than disruption. It would have to be destroyed. But its destruction would free every soul imprisoned in one of these chips.

HARRY

And every device with a chip in it would stop working.

(implications sink in)

And then Erickson Computers…

Joy looks at him with compassion, takes his hand again.

GUNTER

The question is to find out
how
.

Doris finally comes over to them, sits down in a spare chair. She’s been crying: every now and then she starts to leak tears again, and dabs at her eyes with a napkin.

GUNTER (CONT’D)

No news.

DORIS

No.

HARRY

Shouldn’t we, I don’t know, call the police….

DORIS

Oh, yes, why don’t we do that.

(angry but with humor)

“I’m sorry, Constable, but Mr. Lewisham is missing. Yes, now that you mention it he
did
die five years ago, and now we can’t find him anywhere—”

HARRY

They’d get you for wasting police time.

JOY

This is not a waste of time!  This is a human life we’re talking about!

HARRY

“Life??”

Joy gets up and stalks back and forth, waving her arms.

JOY

It’s a human
something!
Harry, he gave you good racing tips, he taught me how to say “Chumley,” he was nice to me! Now he’s missing and you don’t even care??

HARRY

Of course I care, it’s just that —

JOY

It’s that Erickson’s mixed up in this, and you’re scared —

HARRY

That the company will go under, and I’ll lose my job, and in this market probably never get another one? Yes I’m scared!

JOY

Next to what they’re doing to all these dead people, does it matter? It’d be better to starve than to make money by slavery! That’s all this is! We abolished slavery, Harry!

HARRY

Someone else abolished it! I didn’t expect to have to do it
again!

Joy’s eyes are on him.

JOY

We can’t just sit here. Life’s too short.

(glance at the others)

Sorry.

HARRY

I’ve got to get going. The show opens at nine thirty.

GUNTER

We’ve got to do something…

JOY

I don’t think we’re going to be able to do it by ourselves, though. We need help.

DORIS

From who?

GUNTER

Let me see what I can arrange.

He gets up, EXITS. Harry gets up too. Joy stops him, gives him a kiss, and a long close look, loving, but determined.

JOY

You have a good day now. See you tonight?

HARRY

Yeah. I’ll call.

A guilty glance at the cellphone. He EXITS.

Harry passes by the front desk just as Gunter is finishing a phone call. The two look at each other, not quite hostile, not quite certain, either.

HARRY (CONT’D)

Listen. At first I was going to tell you, if you’re messing with my wife, you’re a dead man. So to speak.

GUNTER

(not offended: humorous)

I understand you. But if you were not married, and if I were
not
a dead man, you would have competition.

(beat)

The phrase is much overused these days, but she is very special, your Joy. The world looks new to her, even when it is not. This is a great gift.

HARRY

Sometimes it can be a great pain in the neck.

GUNTER

Yes. But whatever else may happen, you will never be bored.

(embarrassed)

I have said too much. But I have much to thank her for.

(glances at the clock)

You will be late.

HARRY

Not as “late” as you are.

GUNTER

Ow.

Harry smiles, EXITS.

Joy comes out, stuffing the room key into one of her skirt’s secret pockets, the cellphone into an outer one.

JOY

So?

GUNTER

About noontime we must go to a meeting.

JOY

Of dead people? Where?

GUNTER

(slight smile)

Where no one will notice.

EXT. SPEAKER’S CORNER—DAY

The famous corner at Hyde Park. Various groups of tourists, etc, stand listening to enthusiastic crazies of differing kinds. We see several of these groups—flat-earthers, anti-immigration nuts, “Rights for Roaches”—and then the last group, gathered around amost unusual speaker, without a soapbox: Joy. A pair of BOBBIES walks right past her and the peculiar group of LISTENERS—some most oddly dressed, apparently from all kinds of time periods. Just one more group of nuts, and they’re not making any trouble….

JOY

You have to do something! Stand up for your rights!

ND DEAD PERSON

What rights? We’re dead!

JOY

See, that’s exactly the mindset that’s got you where you are. You don’t just wait around for someone to
give
you rights! You have to assert yourselves! And you’ve got to help your fellow, uh, previously living types.

ND DEAD PERSON

But if we go in there, we’ll just be caught the way all the others were. Better to leave things the way they are. Maybe they’ll never find some of us, if we keep quiet.

ND DEAD PERSON 2

If we make ourselves noticeable, they’ll start hunting us down!

JOY

They’re hunting you down
now
. And they’re doing it faster all the time to keep their company growing. If you don’t do anything, who’s going to do something when
your
turn comes?

GUNTER

(ironic, angry)

What was it they said? “When they came for the gays, I didn’t speak up. When they came for the Jews, I didn’t speak up. When they came for the Gypsies, and the Catholics, I didn’t speak up. When at last they came for me, there was nobody left to speak.”

People look sad, but no declarations of support are forthcoming. Joy and Gunter exchange a glance, disappointed.

Then the group REACTS to a new arrival, bowing or curtseying and getting out of the way as a YOUNG WOMAN in her late thirties, with elaborately styled red hair and wearing a rich light-colored gown and jeweled ruff, walks through the crowd. Joy STARES as she recognizes QUEEN ELIZABETH THE FIRST from the Gheeraerts portrait in the National Portrait Gallery.

ELIZABETH I

What’s this? A meeting called without my countenance? Manners hereabouts are changed of a sudden.

(to Joy)

Or missing entire. Hast no courtesy for your Queen?

JOY

(awestruck but holds her ground)

Sorry, my people don’t do queens. But some of them we remember, because they were just hot.

ELIZABETH I

(an evaluatory beat)

True respect’s worth a hundred false bows. We’ll let it pass. Is it true, what rumor tells? You’ve found where my lost people are taken?

GUNTER

(with a slight bow)

Some are not your people,
Majest‰t.

ELIZABETH I

If their souls are bound to my England, they are my responsibility. If they are in danger, I must protect them. What villain’s to blame?

JOY

A guy named Erickson.

Elizabeth moves into the center of the gathering, and the dead gather around her: it’s plain who’s running this show.

ELIZABETH I

Some renegade baron? We’ll settle his case. Where are his forces assembled?

GUNTER

Down by the City.

ELIZABETH I

Then gather our folk and we’ll away.

ND DEAD PERSON

But madam, what can
we
possibly do?

ELIZABETH I

We can make a plan, and fight! Too long our people have been stolen away. Now we know why. But living or dead, there’ll be no slaves in
my
country! Worse than dead I’d be if I stood idly by while such evil was done to those around me. All must be free in a free land!

A STIR goes through the crowd: faces look more involved —

ELIZABETH I (CONT’D)

We must seek out the miscreants and fight for our people, fight the evildoers wherever we find them! We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them in the streets; we will never surrender!

A CHEER from the dead (and approving NOD as the bobbies pass again). Joy gives the Queen a look.

JOY

The speech sounds kind of familiar.

ELIZABETH I

He’s not here to complain. And ‘twas a good speech. Now lead on to where we may talk. We’ll lay a plan shall make this dastard Erickson rue that his mother bore him.

JOY

First thing we have to do is get you some clothes.

ELIZABETH I

(a not-amused look)

I have clothes.

JOY

Something less splendid. A disguise.

ELIZABETH I

Ah! Lead on.

The group EXITS past the bobbies, who watch them go as they walk on about their rounds.

BOBBY 1

Some re-enactment society?

BOBBY 2

Suits me. Bring back those old-fashioned values, that’s the ticket.

INT. COMPUTER SHOW—DAY

The sales stand. Harry looks frazzled, scribbles in a notebook: a POCKET P.A. sits nearby. Boyce stops by.

BOYCE

You okay, Harry? Looking stressed.

HARRY

Nothing worth mentioning. How’re we doing today?

BOYCE

Three hundred so far.

HARRY

Good. You see what’s his face around here this morning? Carlyle?

BOYCE

No, I think he went back up country.

HARRY

Okay. Just curious.

Boyce pats him on the shoulder and goes off.

POCKET P.A. “VOICE”

I’ve got a message for you.

HARRY

(sotto: uneasy)

Yeah. I know.

INT. ORMONDE HOTEL—AFTERNOON

Our guerrilla group lays its plans in the lounge. Joy, Doris, Gunter, Pario, five or six more new DEAD PEOPLE are there. On the table is the manual that Gunter stole.

Elizabeth ENTERS dressed in Joy’s clothes: dark jeans, an oversized black “I (heart) NY” t-shirt. She’s lost the elaborate hairstyle; her long red hair is pulled back tight and braided into a crown.

ELIZABETH I

This garb chafes where it ought not.

JOY

I don’t fit those jeans the way I used to either. Sorry about that.

ELIZABETH I

Needs must when the devil drives. Now show us our enemy’s stronghold.

Joy spreads her tourist map of London on the table.

JOY

Okay. Here’s Erickson. Here’s the front door. There’s a guard post there. Employees’ entrance, here.

GUNTER

And here is the layout of the great room downstairs.

He produces a large sketch of the “clean room”. The others examine this. Gunter turns his attention back to the manual.

Joy’s Erickson cellphone rings. Everyone STARES at it with pity and horror. Joy picks it up.

JOY

(to the phone)

I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.

(Hits the “answer” button)

Hello?

INT. COMPUTER SHOW—DAY

Harry is off to one side, talking fast.

HARRY

(sotto)

Hon, all the reps are buzzing about some kind of break-in at the plant last night. No one’s being specific. But the word is that new security’s being put in place to deal with some folks we know.

JOY (V.O.)

Okay, honey. Anything else about, you know, what we should
do
?

HARRY

Uh, no. Listen, gotta go.

(hangs up)

INT. ORMONDE HOTEL—AFTERNOON

Joy turns to the others.

ELIZABETH I

Well?  What news?

JOY

Only that they know we’re coming, and they’re getting ready for us.

Joy looks at Gunter. He’s absorbed in the manual, frowning.

ELIZABETH I

Whether or not they’ve made their lair secure, we must do what we can. Our tactic’s plain enough. We must come at them from many sides at once. Our folk will wall-walk here and there in the building, frighting the inmates, making them think an attack comes where it does not. When their forces are drawn away…

Gunter is staring at one page, shaking his head.

JOY

(to Gunter)

What?  What’s the matter?

GUNTER

I had it last night. Right in my hand. And did not use it!

JOY

What?

GUNTER

The answer. Steel!

He turns pages in the manual again, shows it to Joy.

GUNTER (CONT’D)

See here. And here. Repeated strong warnings about “ferrous material.”

JOY

“Ferrous?”

She grabs the manual.

GUNTER

Iron, or steel. They are conductors. Drop conductive material in the middle of sensitive circuitry, and of course things will short out.

ELIZABETH I

And more than that! Cold iron was ever the great weapon against magic, black or white.

GUNTER

If I had dropped the wrench I could have blown the master pentagram. They would be free—George, all of them—if I had only known.