Midnight Snack and Other Fairy Tales (31 page)

The boxes are put into larger packing cases and loaded into Erickson vans, which drive away, each stopping at the garage door to swipe a door-opener card.

The whole process goes on more or less continuously as emptied portable pentagrams are taken away and new ones slotted in.

Gunter, horrified, has decided on a plan of action. He MELTS through the wall of that room into the next as a new portable pentagram is slotted into place and a TECH starts throwing its switches.

Unseen, Gunter works his way around through the walls of the surrounding offices toward the assembly line. The “decanting” process starts again, but only a few people appear in the main pentagram. Gunter looks at it as he appears out of the concrete wall near the garage door, then REACTS with horror. In the middle of the pentagram, terrified, is Sarah.

GUNTER (CONT’D)

(sotto; horrified)

Ach nein!

Gunter RUNS runs out into the loading space, toward one of the small panel vans with a side door open; inside is an open TOOL KIT. Gunter grabs a WRENCH and SINKS down into the floor so that only the hand with the wrench sticks up. With great effort, like someone submerged in molasses, Gunter makes his way through the solid concrete behind a TECH who’s carrying in another portable pentagram. The Tech never sees him. Gunter stays close behind the Tech, following him in through the airlock and the barrier.

On the far side the Tech goes one way, and Gunther’s hand and the wrench another, off behind a BIG MACHINE. In the middle of the room, more Techs prepare for the transfer of the souls to the chip-making machine. Gunter HAULS HIMSELF UP out of the floor, looking terrible—even a dead person has trouble going through so much solid matter in a hurry.  Once on his feet, Gunter looks up at the big fuseboxes. They’re high up. But there’s a ladder hanging near a wall-mounted box that says FIRE and has other emergency equipment. Gunther grabs the ladder, puts it up against the wall.

From behind, a TECH tries to grab him—and FALLS THROUGH him. Gunter turns, and without the slightest hesitation hits the Tech backhanded with the wrench. The Tech goes down.

GUNTER (CONT’D)

(“sorry”, but not very)

‘Schuldigung —

Gunter scrambles up the ladder, hauls the door of the first fusebox open, SLAMS the wrench into it. SPARKS fly. Most lights go out. The “assembly line” stops, goes dark. But the main pentagram is still bright.

More TECHS now swarm in to pull the ladder out from under Gunter. They quickly succeed, since Gunter doesn’t weigh anything. But as he drops to the floor, Gunter pulls off a second Tech’s amp meter (slung over his shoulder in a pouch) and CLOUTS him with it, then spins and with great accuracy swings the meter up between a third Tech’s legs, CONNECTS.  The poor guy SHRIEKS and goes down.

GUNTER (CONT’D)

‘Schuldigung—’Schuldigung —

He ditches the meter, picks up the fallen wrench, regains the ladder and puts it up next to the next, bigger fusebox. Up the ladder Gunter, HAULS the fusebox door open—when more TECHS pull the ladder out from under him yet again.

Gunter clutches the fusebox door, DANGLES off it, trying to hit the circuitry inside the box. On the shop floor, a SENIOR TECH yells, points at another ND TECH.

SENIOR TECH

It’s a residual! Boost the gain! Just boost the gain!

The ND TECH does something at the panel. The HUM gets louder, the light of the main pentagram gets brighter. Gunter is STRETCHED out of shape, pulled toward the main pentagram. He hangs onto the door of the big fusebox, and swings back and forth, FIGHTING the stretching effect. But it’s winning —

In a last desperate effort, Gunter HITS the circuitry in the fusebox hard with the wrench. It SHORTS OUT with sparks and smoke and the ROOM GOES DARK. Only the pentagram retains a faint glow, as if there’s power in the design itself.

HUBBUB AND CONFUSED SHOUTS in the near-total darkness. Gunter falls, crouches gasping on the floor, the gets up and SPRINTS  toward the pentagram, where Sarah still stands.

GUNTER

Sarah!

He GRABS her by the hand and runs, PULLING her with him. They run out of the clean room and through the wall as ALARMS start behind them and DIM LIGHTS come on.

SENIOR TECH

Hurry up! We’ve got loose residuals!  We’ve gotta clean them up!

EXT. STREET—NIGHT

In front of the coffee shop, Joy stands and waits. Gunter and Sarah RUN to her.

JOY

You’re back! Sarah! Are you okay, honey?

SARAH

I’m fine.

GUNTER

We must get out of here, right now. Have you figured out how?

JOY

There aren’t any cabs here, and even if we called one, it would take time to get here.

Joy looks down the street toward the little bus depot. A double-decker “Routemaster” London bus stands there idling with its door open: its driver is in the next-door shop (outside the shop, a sidewalk sign says NATIONAL LOTTERY—23 MILLION THIS WEEK!).

JOY (CONT’D)

We could take a bus…

Then Joy’s EYES LIGHT UP with a wicked idea. Gunter gets the same idea simultaneously.

JOY / GUNTER

We could take a bus!

Gunter and Sarah and Joy run to the bus, DIVE into it just as —

ALARM LIGHTS start flashing on the outside of the Erickson building. Gunter throws himself into the driver’s seat, hurriedly looks over the controls.

JOY

Do you know how to drive this?

GUNTER

I flew a Junkers Eighty-eight bomber! How hard can
this
be?

Now security people from the building RUN OUT toward them.

Gunter SLAMS the bus into gear. It LURCHES out into the road, scattering the security people. Joy and Sarah clutch desperately to the rails or straps in the bus.

EXT. LONDON STREETS—NIGHT

Chase scene. Gunter veers along like the worst kind of student driver, narrowly avoiding crashing into things and people… sometimes
very
narrowly.

INT. LONDON BUS—NIGHT

Gunter is scared, but also laughing, as exhilarated as a young hotshot pilot who’s been given a new and difficult plane in which he can’t possibly get killed. Sarah hangs on with an excited look on her face. Joy, though, is actively afraid for her life as Gunter just misses another car.

JOY

Oh, look out!

GUNTER

It’s all right! It handles just like a J U Eighty-eight!

JOY

No wonder we won the war.

They have a close scrape with another bus, SHOOT PAST. In a cross street, a POLICE CAR notices, swings into PURSUIT.

JOY (CONT’D)

Oh God, we’re all going to be thrown in jail forever. Not that
you
care!

Another NEAR MISS in the traffic as Gunter CORNERS insanely.

JOY (CONT’D)

Will you
take it easy?!
Some of us here aren’t dead yet and we like it that way!

GUNTER

(cheerful)

Chickennnn.

More chase scene, and the increased HOWLING OF SIRENS, as the bus plunges OUT OF SHOT.

INT. ORMONDE HOTEL—NIGHT

George is heading for the front door with Bruno. Doris looks up from the desk.

GEORGE

Be back in a while, love.

DORIS

George, is this a good idea? 

GEORGE

Doris, he’s got to go. If we let him go in the yard, he’ll dig up your flowerbeds again.

DORIS

But just for tonight…

GEORGE

I’ll be fine.

Doris sighs, comes out from behind the desk, unlocks the door.

DORIS

Be careful.

GEORGE

I will. Come on, Bruno.

He goes out. Doris looks after him, concerned.

EXT. LONDON STREETS—NIGHT

As before: yet more chase scene, wailing SIRENS of lots of police cars, and the good old Routemaster bus plunging down streets the wrong way or in the wrong lane, making traffic avoid it in numerous interesting and desperate ways.

JOY (O.S.)

Drive on the left!
Drive on the left!!

GUNTER (O.S.)

All right, all right, it just seems wrong somehow…

At one point the bus plunges right around Piccadilly Circus and out the other side, past that Burger King.

JOY

Your old “haunts”. Wasn’t one crash here enough?

Gunter LAUGHS. He LOSES the closest of the cops, weaving his way among the streetsó

EXT. STREET NEAR ORMONDE HOTEL—NIGHT

George walks the little terrier down the street. He doesn’t see it, but he is being stalked by an Erickson van. He stops by a tree, stands there whistling while Bruno does his business.

GEORGE

Good lad, Bruno. Mummy will thank you for not burying that in her geraniums…

Far-off SFX of SIRENS and RACING ENGINES can be heard,  George REACTS to this, only slightly concerned.

GEORGE (CONTD) (CONT’D)

Bloody joyriders. Come on, Bruno.

The van drives past, hiding George from view.

INT. LONDON BUS—NIGHT

Gunter is lost in a maze of side streets. The cops CLOSE IN.

GUNTER

This city was designed by lunatics.

JOY

So a driver with your talents should feel right at home. What’ll we do?

GUNTER

Keep going and hope for the best.

But now Gunter is running down a cul-de-sac, nowhere else to go. The SIRENS and the blue lights are only a couple of blocks behind them, briefly delayed by a car Gunter’s just missed hitting. Gunter brings the bus screeching to a halt a loading area behind an office building.

GUNTER (CONT’D)

So much for hope!

He and Sarah and Joy DIVE out of the bus. Down the street, the cops are NEAR —

Gunter GRABS Sarah’s hand, pulls her through a wall with him: they’re GONE. Joy stands there alone, in absolute shock.

A second later, a DOOR in the wall OPENS; Gunter’s hand GRABS JOY’S ARM and DRAGS her in. The door shuts just in time. The cops RUNNING down the alley find an empty bus, an empty street, silence…

EXT. DIFFERENT LONDON STREET—NIGHT

At the front of the building, Gunter, Joy and Sarah EXIT through another door and head down the street.

JOY

That was close!

GUNTER

Yes. But there are still the Erickson people to lose.

JOY

They’ll be looking for a man and a little girl…

GUNTER

Exactly: not a woman and a girl. You two go on. I will follow. Sarah will tell you what happened.

JOY

All right.

(wry, but affectionate)

Listen, you did good. But after this? Stick to bombers.

They SEPARATE and EXIT in opposite directions.

INT. ORMONDE HOTEL—NIGHT

Joy comes in with Sarah. Doris meets her at the door, looking worried, though she HUGS Sarah in relief.

DORIS

Oh, pet, I was ever so worried! You go straight up to bed.

(to Joy)

Where’s Gunter?

JOY

He’s okay. He’ll be back soon.

DORIS

What a relief. Have you seen George?

JOY

Uh, no.

DORIS

Well, never mind. There’s someone waiting for you in the lounge.

JOY

Oh God…the authorities work fast around here, don’t they. Okay…

Joy steels herself, goes in… and finds Harry sitting there, looking contrite.

HARRY

Uh, hi.

(beat)

Neutral territory…

JOY

Yeah. Yeah.

Joy sits down next to Harry, guilty. They have trouble looking at each other.

JOY (CONT’D)

Look. It’s not like you think. I was —

HARRY

Me first.

(struggling)

Joy, I was way out of line at dinner. I was confused. About what you were telling me about George. And especially about Gunter. I tend to expect the worst, just in case it happens. Even if I know it’s
not
happening.

Joy wants to interrupt. Harry holds up a hand to stop her. The front door OPENS again: subdued VOICES are talking there.

HARRY (CONT’D)

After how I’ve been ignoring you, and not just on this trip—what you gave me, I had it coming.

(beat: this is hardest for him)

And about Gunter, and George, and what you said about the way they were… Who am I to say that you didn’t see something that you thought meant they had to be, that could only be explained by…

Joy has been listening with increasing astonishment. Now she takes Harry’s hands and holds them.

HARRY (CONT’D)

(gives up)

Look, if you say they’re dead, you probably have a good reason. And as long as you’re not having an affair with one of them, or both of them, I don’t care, okay? All I want to know now is, when can we get a slightly bigger…
room?

GUNTER (O.S.)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Harry STARES in shock at something behind Joy. She turns. Straight-faced, Gunter is leaning through the wall.

GUNTER (CONT’D)

Excuse me. Doris asks what time in the morning you want breakfast, since we are all turning in so late tonight.

HARRY

Oh my God.

(to Joy)

You mean he really
is
…

JOY

And you said you believed me, even when you didn’t…!

She smiles, gets up and pulls Harry with her.

JOY (CONT’D)

I’ve got a lot of explaining to do. Let’s go somewhere a little less neutral.

(to Gunter, off her glance at Harry)

Eight thirty?

HARRY

Uh, fine. Fine. See you then.

JOY

‘Night, Gunter.

GUNTER

Guten abend,
Joy. Mr. Collins —

HARRY

Harry.

Gunter nods. Joy and Harry head out, get into the little lift. Its door closes.

Gunter pauses at the front desk, where Doris stands, watching the front door.

GUNTER

Eight thirty.

DORIS

That’s fine.

They both stop, hearing something SCRATCHING at the front door, and a BARK. Bruno is there, his leash dragging. But not George.

INT. ORMONDE HOTEL BREAKFAST ROOM—MORNING

The aftermath of breakfast. Tables are pulled together. Joy and Harry sit over cups of tea with Gunter, Lorna and Pario. Joy’s cellphone and room key lie on the table. Doris moves by in b.g., carrying breakfast things, looking distressed. Joy looks after her sympathetically.