Microsoft Word - Illicit Desires ePub.doc (27 page)

DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!
The asshole is fucking dead!

"Adrian!" I heard Mom call after me as I abruptly left the dining table. "Where are you

going?" She yelled her question, but I ignored her; I couldn't find it in me to reply.

"Adrian!" I didn't reply to Dad either, I just got in my car and roamed the streets, not

really knowing where I was going.

I tried calling her cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail. I tried the asshole's –

same thing. I spent God only knows how much time going from this cinema to the other,

trying this restaurant, or McDonald's, or maybe they went to the mall? I tried every-fucking-

where I knew, trying to get a hold of her, to know where she was. Nothing!

The next thing I knew, I was sitting in my car, punching the wheel and cursing the air,

scaring the shit out of any passersby.

How could she?
And with Ian of al people?
God! God! God!

The thoughts of what he might be doing with her haunted me like a fucking ghost.

Everything I knew about Ian screamed at me that he'd try anything imaginable with her.

I felt my heart burning from the inside; I was choking! Breathing was so hard, I gasped

and choked on air, then gasped some more. The mental image of them being intimate

together was strangling me unmercifully.

Everything after that was hazy. I remember a police officer returning me to my house,

talking with my dad, and Dad telling me that it was a panic attack.

The fuck do I care!

He was trying so hard to get me to talk to him about what was bothering me, but I

fucking didn't say a word. Seriously, what could I say? I shrugged him off and told him to

leave me alone. He said that he'd be awake for a while if I needed anything.

Just fuck off already!

I paced my fucking room back and forth, waiting for
her majesty
to come back home. She

took too fucking long. It passed ten o'clock and she still wasn't there; it was a fucking school

night for fuck's sake! I thought I was going to go bald from all of the hair gripping I was

doing. I was fucking dying with frustration, worry and anger.

I'l kill the motherfucker. I swear I'l kill him.

At eleven o'clock I heard a car approaching our front yard.

She's here!
My heart pounded hard in my chest.

I didn't kill Ian that night after all; I scheduled it for later. Though I really messed up with

Lily, I couldn't help it, I couldn't control myself. I was really mad and I didn't know what I

was saying or doing.

My parents paid me a visit in my room the next morning, scowling at me about what I

had done, telling me I was grounded.
The fuck do I care.
I simply rolled my eyes at them and

went downstairs to the kitchen, arguing with myself and fighting really hard not to flip them

off.

Emma was annoyingly all over me at school. I had told her I wasn't feeling well more

than one time, yet she kept bugging me, talking nonsense. I had to tell her to fuck off. That

made her shut the fuck up at last.

Not very nice, I know, but I was anxiously waiting for the fucker to show up so I could

give him a piece of my mind. And I did.

Let's just say it was ugly – not as ugly as I wanted it to be since his pretty face was still

unharmed, but it was something anyway. The dickhead dared to tell me that it wasn't any of

my business when I demanded that he stay away from my sister.

Fucking douche!

I never saw them kissing, thank fuck for that. I don't know what would I do if I ever

witnessed something like that. Though the fucking holding hands and the side glances and

the fucking blushes and the asshole's winks were driving me crazy.

Every time I saw something like that, I just wanted to break something. Or Ian's nose.

Fucker.

I was kept late after practice doing some pushups the coach required as punishment for

punching Ian in the stomach again as we passed the ball to each other, so the asshole and

Elliot were already in the changing room when I got there.

"But you seem to be head over heels for Lily. Am I right, or am I right?" Elliot's words

stopped me in my tracks.

They were talking about my sister! I stepped back so I could hear what the asshole was

saying, without them knowing I was there listening.

"Are you kidding? I think I passed the head over heels thing with levels, man!" Ian

answered.

"Whoa! That's new!"

"Yeah … " Asshole sighed. "It feels so different with her. I only know that it feels like

the sun coming out after a rainy day every time I see her smiling."

The fuck?!

"Wow!"

"Yeah, I'm officially whipped!"

"I noticed," Elliot said. "Well, at least you're not pussy-whipped! That's something!"

"How can you tell?"

"I just know …"

"Seriously, how do you know we haven't had sex yet?"

Oh! Thank God!
Even though I already knew they hadn't, it felt good to have that

confirmed.

"Okay, but if Sandra finds out I told you anything, I'll be a dead man – but I'll kill you

first!"

"Shoot!"

"Sandra and Lily made this virginity pact thing together. They decided to lose it the

same night. So since I'm not getting any – you're not either."

Oh! Better not be getting any anytime soon then, you dick!

"Oh! That's …" Asshole said, then stopped.

"Disappointing?"

"I don't know, man. It's been eighteen long ass days since the last time I had sex, do you

know what that means for me? Sex is like my oxygen!"

"So you're basically suffocating!"

"Exactly!" Asshole chuckled and Elliot joined him.

I couldn't stand there anymore and listen, no matter how much I wanted to stay. I went

to the showers without even bringing my towel with me, which was why I'd gone there in

the first place.

Asshole was gonna die real soon.

DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!
The asshole is fucking dead!

Another fucking date!
She went on another fucking date! And still she told me nothing.

Fucking nothing!

He was no doubt going to sleep with her this time. I was sure of it. Why would he wait

any longer? I felt my blood running cold, then I felt it boiling inside me. Everything around

me was spinning; everything around me was foggy.

He can't touch her. He just can't. She's mine.
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!

Elliot and Sandra.
Yes! Fuck! How could I forget?
If they weren't out together, then my girl

was safe.

"Hey, it's El iot, you know what to d-"
The fucker didn't answer; it went straight to fucking

voicemail.

"Hel o?"

"Sandra!"

"Hey, Adrian."

"Are you with Elliot?"

"Um, yeah!"
Oh, fuck!
"Look, it's not a real y good tim-"

"Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"Is everything okay, Adrian?"

I hung up.

They were going to do it tonight! Or already had done it, for all I knew. I went to

Asshole's house, but he wasn't there. It was the only place I could think of. I didn't know

where else I could search.

He wouldn't take her in his car, would he?
God! God!
I felt so much pain, it fucking
hurt
!

It felt like someone was taking my soul away from me, ever so slowly, and I had no

control over it, or any power to stop it.
Yes, my soul.
Lily is my soul.
And she was slipping out

of my fingers.

"Hey, baby!"
Emma answered on the second ring. I called her, only because I didn't

know anyone else to call.

"Where are your parents?"

"Uh, they're still outside. Is ever-"

"Good! I'm coming over. You'd better be fucking wet and ready." I don't know how I

got to her house, or how I made it to her room, but I knew it took me less than five minutes

to make it there.

"Hey, are you okay?” she gasped. “Oh my God, are you crying?"

I'm not crying, what the fuck is she talking about?!

"Bend over!" I said as I slipped off my jacket and started working on my belt.

"What's wrong, Adrian?" She looked all confused and worried, and her fucking

annoying questions were driving me crazy.

I huffed.

"Okay, can we just kiss first, at least?" she came closer and her hands touched my chest,

"Let's make out, touch me."

"I said bend the fuck over, Emma!"

She didn't say anything else. She just did as I told her and went to her bed, then posed

on all fours, facing away from me.

I yanked her shorts down and left them hanging by her knees, then I stroked myself a

few times before I put on the condom and put my dick on her entrance.

"Ow!" she winced.

"I thought I told you to be fucking wet!" I spat in my hand and tried to lubricate her

before I thrust into her again. .

"Adrian!"

Would the asshole be doing this now?!
Would he fuck her hard?
Would he take her innocence and

pureness?

"Ah, Adrian, slow down a bit!"

Would he taste how sweet her skin is?
Would he feel her tits and how perfect they are?
Would he make

her come?

"Adrian, please!"

Will she moan his fucking name?

"Adrian! Please, stop! You're going to hurt me!" Emma cried.

I froze.

Her pleas and soft cries finally got through to me. I had heard them all along as I was

thrusting into her like a mad man, but my mind didn't register them.

I looked at my hands and found them digging deep into her hips. When I removed

them there were deep shades of red forming on her skin.

I did this?

Emma fell onto the bed face down once I removed myself from her. I couldn't believe

what I had just done. I only wanted to feel something other than the pain I was feeling in my

heart, and I ended up hurting the only girl that truly cared about me and would do anything

for me.

I'm such a lowlife!

I didn't say a word, I just stared at her. She wasn't moaning or anything, but she had a

disapproving and shocked look on her face. Yet I didn't try to comfort her. I just zipped my

pants up, grabbed my jacket and fled out of the room.

Shit!

The next thing I knew, I was lying on my bed, fully clothed including my shoes, and the sun