Marriage by Mistake (35 page)

"Kelly! Kelly!"

She turned to find Robby bounding down the
stairs.

"Didja hear? Didja hear?" he shouted.

Kelly couldn't help smiling as Robby ran up
to her, grinning from ear to ear. He grabbed hold of her hands.
"Didja hear the news?" he asked, and squeezed. "I'm going to
Greece!"

"G-Greece?" Kelly's smile dropped and she
blinked several times rapidly.

"Yup, Greece," Robby repeated. "My Dad is
taking me, on his
yacht
."

"Oh. I    " Kelly was dumbfounded.
Kirk
was taking Robby? "I    What? How?" she
asked.

"On a plane." Robby took her question
literally. "It's going to take all day, and part of tonight. Then
we have to take a bus and then a boat."

"Ah." This was all moving too fast for Kelly.
Kirk was taking Robby to Greece? No. Robby was supposed to be
getting a dose of much-needed stability. Dean had agreed.

Or had he?

Kelly frowned. "Uh... Does Dean know about
this trip of yours?"

"Dean knows." It was Kirk's voice. He came up
to throw an arm around the still-glowing Robby. "Not to worry, he's
given his hearty approval."

"He has?" Kelly couldn't believe it. At the
same time she felt a blow to her mid-section. At least a part of
her
could
believe it.

Kirk smiled his charming smile. "Dean knows
what's good for him. And Robby, as you can see, is delighted."

Yes, Kelly could see that. Robby was
practically walking on air. But she wouldn't accept Dean had
willingly agreed to this. He'd committed himself to Robby.

Hadn't he?

"Wait here," she told Kirk.

He raised his brows. "Jackson's got to leave
with us in fifteen minutes."

"This won't take long." Kelly gave him a
sickly little smile and backed away. No, it shouldn't take long
because the whole thing was impossible. Dean wouldn't give up his
responsibilities. Besides, he'd come to admit he loved Robby.

Hadn't he?

Kelly was panting by the time she got to the
morning room. Dean was there, leaning against a windowsill. His
expression as he looked out at the view was as cold and remote as
Alaska.

Kelly's heart sank. She tried valiantly not
to believe any of what Kirk had told her    but Dean
looked just like the person he'd been when she'd first come to the
house; a castle unto himself.

"I    What's going on?" she asked,
still panting.

Dean turned his head. "Excuse me?"

Kelly gestured in the direction of the front
door. "You're letting him take Robby?"

Dean shrugged. "Kirk is Robby's father."

"Huh! Technically."

Dean raised his brows. "Technically is
enough."

Kelly crossed her arms over her chest. She
evened her breathing. "Is this what's bothering you? Kirk demanding
Robby? 'Cause you don't have to put up with it if you don't want
to."

Dean gave her a strange look. "You think Kirk
taking Robby to Greece bothers me?"

"Well, yeah." Kelly swallowed. How could he
act so cool? "I think it bothers you, because in every real sense
of the word, Robby is
your
son."

Dean hesitated. Then he laughed.

Kelly felt her face heat. He was being
difficult, and they didn't have a lot of time. "You don't have to
put up with this. If you set your foot down, Kirk will leave him
here."

Dean pushed off the window frame. "Kirk isn't
doing this to piss me off."

"Oh, come on."

"No, really. He's trying to help."

"To help?"

Dean stepped toward the table. "He wants to
give us some time alone, to enjoy our marriage..."

Dean's voice trailed off and Kelly's brows
knit as she tried to follow this. To enjoy their marriage?

Dean smiled. "While it lasts."

Kelly's lower jaw dropped. It took her a
while to raise it up again. When she did, she had plenty to say.
"Why, of all the arrogant, interfering, cynical    "

Dean leaned his palms on the tabletop. "Is
he?"

Kelly's jaw dropped again. She blinked.
"What?"

Dean straightened. "Is Kirk being cynical? Or
is he being...realistic?"

"
What
?"

"Come on." Dean made a wiping motion in the
air. "How long can our marriage really last?"

For a long moment Kelly could only stare at
him. He couldn't be saying this, he couldn't be thinking it. Like
he didn't believe in them. Hadn't he asked her two nights ago to
stay and make the marriage real?

Or had he asked something a little bit
different?

Kelly felt a scared sinking in her stomach.
Dean was gazing at her in his old, sardonic way. She remembered: he
hadn't asked her to stay. He'd said he wanted to
keep things
going
. Open-ended, uncommitted.

Fool
, a voice inside her shrieked.
You did it again, big-time, let a man use you
.

Kelly shook the voice aside. She knew Dean
loved her. Despite the fact he'd never said the words aloud, she
knew it from every gesture and deed. What was happening here was an
outbreak of insecurity. It had started with the marriage proposal,
or lack thereof, and gotten worse with the arrival of his father.
Dean was afraid of being vulnerable to her. That's why he hadn't
asked her to stay married. It was why he was standing here, brows
raised, as if he really expected an answer to his question: how
long will it last?

Kelly drew in a deep breath. She should have
realized. Dean wasn't as confident as he sometimes appeared. He was
still very insecure in matters of emotion. His father, with his
insinuations and mockery, had only made things worse. "I think,"
she said slowly, "I haven't been exactly fair to you."

Dean went absolutely still.

Kelly took another deep breath. She could see
now that she was going to have to be the adult here. Because, well,
she
was
the adult here, the emotional adult. Dean would have
been one if he could have. He loved responsibility and taking care
of things, but he'd never been given the tools to figure out how to
take responsibility for this.

So it was up to her. She gazed at his cold,
forbidding    and no doubt terrified   
features, and felt her love for him swell.

"I should have told you before," she said.
"It's just that I was waiting    " She shook her head. No
use telling him what she'd been waiting for. She raised her chin
and looked Dean straight in the eye. "I love you, Dean. I want to
stay in the marriage. I want it to be a real marriage, for
good."

He just stared at her. Kelly saw something
move, behind his attempt at impassivity. He wasn't as unaffected as
he wanted to appear. She waited, sure then that he was going to
soften. He was going to say how glad he was, maybe even say that he
loved her, too.

Instead he seemed to pull into himself. She
could practically see the walls going up. "I see," he said. "Yes.
But that doesn't answer my question."

"What?"

"How long?" Dean repeated. "I understand it
would be difficult to name a specific date, but I'm sure you could
give me a general time frame."

"
What
? "

He pushed back from the table. "Yes, I know
we've been...close these past few weeks. But that was only because
   Never mind. The important thing is that I'm over it
now. I'm back to reality again."

"Reality?" Kelly couldn't believe this was
happening, that he was saying this sort of thing   
now.

Dean drew himself up. "It's not that I'm
implying you're lying. I think you do believe you love me, whatever
that means. But this isn't going to last. It couldn't." He gave a
strange, dry laugh. "Especially not considering the way it
started."

Kelly felt light-headed. They shouldn't be
arguing. She'd just given her all, surrendered. Hadn't that
meant
anything? "You don't even know how it started," she
had enough presence of mind to point out.

"No." Dean smiled. "
You
don't know how
it started."

Kelly's brows drew down.

Dean tapped his index finger on the table
top. "It started," he said, "with Troy's hypnotic suggestion."

The hairs rose on the back of Kelly's neck.
"You never told me what was Troy's suggestion."

"True." Dean looked to the side. "And he
warned me, told me you needed to know."

Despite herself, Kelly felt chill. "So, what
was it?"

"Troy told me to do what I wanted for
forty-eight hours. To do what I wanted, instead of what I
should."

Kelly felt ice all the way through. She
wasn't even sure why. So, Dean coming on to her, courting and
marrying her, had been something he wanted to do. What was bad
about that? That was...
good
, and certainly better than
having been compelled to do something against his will.

But Dean laughed harshly. "I did what I
wanted, without considering the consequences, without thinking
about the future. Acted unlike myself." He paused. "I acted, in
fact, just like my father."

Kelly felt herself trembling. She stared at
his hard, inaccessible features. "No," she said. "You can't believe
that. It wasn't that way."

Dean's fingertips rested on the tabletop.
"No? I think it was. I know it was. Because I've been acting
exactly the same these past few weeks. I've been doing what I
wanted, and not bothering with the consequences."

"But    "

Dean laughed again. "Come on, Kelly. How long
could a marriage between us last? Eventually you'll have to meet my
peers, the social throng. Nor would I pass muster, I suspect, with
your crowd, all of whom, by the way, you've left behind. Where will
you find new friends?" His head cocked. "Among the wives of my
executives? Or maybe you think Robby and Troy and I are enough for
you?"

"You're talking details."

"Important details."

Kelly felt the air rush in and out of her
lungs. "We could work through that, manage, if we loved each
other."

"Love." Dean sighed. "Kelly, let's be
honest."

Honest? She'd given him everything, all she
had to give    and he couldn't even accept it. He had to
make up this    this fantasy that their marriage was like
one of his father's shallow affairs. "Right," she said. "Honest."
The ice inside of her was closing around her chest.

"Feelings don't last," Dean went on. "As soon
as the sexual part cools down we'll see where we really stand."

"So you're not asking me," Kelly said.
"You're telling me."

Dean inclined his head. "Just trying to be
honest."

Kelly made herself breathe. He was trying to
push her away. She saw that, clear as crystal. He couldn't believe
she would stick by him, probably because his father had taunted
him, saying something to make him doubt himself. Now he was
reaching for excuses.

At the same time, how much was a girl
supposed to take? She'd been so patient with him, waiting, and not
asking for anything back. Then she'd given him her heart. But it
hadn't meant a thing. God, she could see herself years from now,
still giving her all, still requiring nothing back from Dean, a
doormat.

"I see," she told Dean. "I understand." And
she did, at last. Even now, she could feel sympathy for the man,
and for his weakness. Oh yes, and in sympathy she could easily
follow past history here, never stick up for herself, never demand
what was only her due. "And I appreciate your honesty. Really, I
do."

Dean tilted his head.

Kelly smiled, though her heart was breaking
in two. She loved him, but no love should lead to
self-destructiveness. It had taken her a long time to understand
this, and now she had to act on it. "I have to agree with you," she
told him. "Yes, I do."

Dean lifted his brows.

Kelly hung onto her smile. "This marriage is
not going to last. You're absolutely right."

Something happened to Dean's superior
demeanor, like a ripple under calm water. He'd probably expected
her to put up more of a fight. But he blustered past it. "I'm glad
you see reason."

Kelly nodded. "It takes me awhile but I get
there eventually."

His brows drew down, ever so slightly.

Kelly took a step back. "Now, if you don't
mind, I want to say goodbye to Robby." She had to get out of there,
before she fell apart.

"Oh yes. Yes, of course." Dean leaned his
palms on the table. "And Kelly? I'm glad we had this talk, got
everything straight."

"Yes." Kelly nodded. "So am I."

###

"I'll give you two weeks pay, of course."
Dean was on the phone with Aaron Schneider, Robby's tutor. "It's
inconvenient, I understand, but can't be helped. Robby's father
wanted to take him." Dean paused. "If it's at all possible, we'd
like you back in September."

Schneider gave a lukewarm assent and Dean
rang off. He stared at his hand as it remained on the handset.
September. So he'd made his own estimate of the length of his
marriage. He had until September. Kirk would be bringing Robby back
by then, and Kelly would be leaving.

As Dean lifted his hand from the telephone,
he saw that his fingers were shaking. All right, seeing Robby off
that morning had been more painful than he'd imagined. And the
conversation with Kelly hadn't been easy either. Excruciating,
actually. But he was relieved they'd had it out. It was a
conversation that had been long overdue. They owed it to themselves
to stop fantasizing and look at the truth. There was no such thing
as a fairy tale ending.

And to think, this had all come about due to
Kirk. Yes, Kirk had done something responsible for once in his
life. He'd made Dean look at the facts. Feelings didn't last, even
the best of them. Dean had learned this at an early age, he just
hadn't wanted to remember it. Things had been going so well with
Kelly, he hadn't wanted to face that one day it was going to be
over. One day Kelly would look at Dean and she just wouldn't care
any more.