Loving Your Lies (23 page)

And that would be what? “Like school and
college and stuff?”

“Yeah. And stuff.”

Did I get this wrong, or was he suddenly
trying to stop me from prodding? An awkward annoyance gripped me
when I strained to hear more about his life. “How old are you?”

“How old do you think I am?”

“Hm.” I peered at his grinning face.
“Twenty-one?”

Julian held my gaze for a second, a grin
coming to the surface that had little to do with amusement. “Good
guess.”

Taking this for a yes, I snuggled deeper in
his hold and his arm tightened around me. “Was there ever a moment
in your life where you felt utterly comfortable, with no thought
about the rest of the world, or what life still held for you?”

“Many,” he replied. “What about you? Have
you ever had such a special moment?”

He meant apart from now? “There was only one
time.” The sound of waves rushing to the shore filled my mind while
my toes curled in the memory of digging into the soft, warm sand.
The wind that had wafted my hair around my shoulders had carried
the cry of a seagull, drifting low above the ocean.

“Want to tell me about it?” Julian’s whisper
broke through to me like the echo of the waves.

“It was when I stared out at the infinite
sea.” I breathed a sigh. “Once, Miss Mulligan took us to the
beach.”

“Your warden?” he asked, only a notch louder
than before.

“Yeah, the one with the mousy face. You saw
her at the hearing last week.”

“I didn’t pay attention to
her
so
much.”

“No?” I teased.

“No.” He laughed. “Your spectacular fight
with the deputies captured me completely.”

“Yeah, I can handle the cops,” I said with a
smug grin to myself. “It’s just the handcuffs that irritate me at
times.”

He ruffled my hair. “You didn’t seem all too
happy when I came to spring you from the chains.”

A cozy pink cloud of warmth settled around
me at this particular memory. “You put a shitload of trust on me
when you left me alone in the corridor. No one else would have done
that.”

“True.” The muscles in his abdomen budged as
he leaned his head closer to my ear and whispered, “But I guess, no
one else has ever been lying with you like this either, having an
open conversation like we have.”

Not that I would remember.

“You need to put some trust into those first
who you want to trust you in return.” His voice slightly trailed
off. “Some people are like cats. You cannot train them to do
anything. You just show them you mean them no harm and wait until
they come to you of their own free will.”

“Oh, is that your tactics?” I shifted my
gaze to his face, my chin deliberately digging between two of his
ribs. “You think I can’t be trained?”

Julian wiggled underneath me, exploding with
laughter. “Nope, you’re too stubborn. You know if you pee on my
floor I’ll have to rub your face in it.”

Eyes wide, my jaw dropped. “I beg your
pardon?” I found more of his ticklish spots. To make him laugh was
like playing a sweet melody on a human body.

“Will you please stop that?” His fingers
curled around my wrists, gently but firm.

I stood no chance against his strength, not
even when he held me with only one hand. The other he planted on my
neck and made me shift into the comfortable position of before. It
was my pleasure to obey.

When his calmed breathing together with the
soothing music drifting from the iPod were the only sounds in the
room again, I admitted in a whisper, “But it
was
nice of you
to set me free in the court.”

“You had a strange way of showing your
gratitude. If I remember it right, you damned me to hell.”

Maybe because hell was the only place I knew
and even back then I wanted him near me. With my eyes closed, I
listened to his heartbeat.

Minutes ticked by.

The slow beat lulled me into a comfortable
state of half dozing. And when Julian’s fingers started to skim in
circles over my shoulder, I was lost completely.

My tense muscles relaxed, my breaths slowed
to deep satisfied intervals.

A little later, Julian said my name in his
ever soft voice and stirred underneath me. But I clasped his shirt
and nestled a little tighter against him, wanting him to let me
stay.

“Jona, you’re pressing on my arm.” His
whisper caressed my ear. But I didn’t care. I felt utterly
comfortable and no way in hell was I going to move.

Eventually, he gave up and shoved slightly
downward, so his head would sink into the pillow. I scooted down
with him, but that was the most comfort I would grant him at the
moment.

A blanket was pulled over my hips and the
volume of the music turned down several notches. How he managed
with the remote sitting on the desk I didn’t understand but I was
also too tired to think about it.

His wonderful smell carried me to the land
of dreams.

I couldn’t say what time of the night it was
when I woke, because the lamp was turned off. The little light the
moon cast through the windows wouldn’t be enough to decipher the
face of my watch. Anyway, my wristwatch was trapped underneath me
together with my right hand, and I didn’t dare move. If I had,
Julian might have woken up—and pulled away his hand which covered
mine on his chest. His left hand was shoved into my hair, creating
a sensual tingle at the back of my neck.

I breathed in deeply, fighting a very
content smile. No, I wouldn’t have moved an inch for the life of
me.

But the darkness irritated me slightly. Dead
certain Julian didn’t detangle from my clasp while I’d slept, I
wondered how he’d switched off the lamp at my side of the bed. Come
to think of it, the radio had stopped playing songs as well. If
Julian was one to fall asleep easily, he could’ve set those things
on a timer. The iPod might have had that function, but the light?
It seemed like the simplest lamp one could find for ten pounds.

Don’t think so much. Enjoy.
And as if
on command, Julian’s thumb started to smooth small circles around
my knuckles. Every earlier thought dropped from my mind and,
keeping still, I utterly surrendered to his touch. Hoping that this
night would never end, I closed my eyes.

As a new sunny morning broke, I found myself
shifted to the side, facing the French door and tucked softly under
the blankets. Although completely snuggly and warm, I missed being
held by gentle arms.

A stretch followed my yawn, and the blanket
slipped away from my shoulders.

“You do like to sleep in, don’t you?”

My head snapped around to Julian’s calm
statement, and I spotted him lounging on the low sofa. A white
T-shirt replaced the dark sweater he wore last night and light blue
jeans hugged his legs, which he’d planted fairly apart. Contrary to
my wide eyes, his lips twitched to a friendly smirk. “Hi.”

“I didn’t notice you getting up.”

“Ugh, yeah. I had to roll you to the side.”
His shiny teeth appeared as his grin spread wider. “I needed to
check on your mother. And then I really,
really
needed to
use the bathroom.”

I scooted backward to lean against the
headboard with the blanket wrapped around my middle. That he would
leave me alone in his room for the sake of my mother gnawed at me.
But I absolutely understood the issue with the toilet when my
bursting bladder reminded me of the urgency.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”
I wouldn’t have
let you get out of bed then.

“You were too sweet, lost in peaceful
sleep.”

With him running through my dreams, no
wonder I didn’t want to wake up. I narrowed my eyes and glanced at
him from the side. “How long have you been sitting there and
watching me?”

“Half an hour.” His shoulder lifted with a
shrug. “Maybe a little longer.”

Please God, I hope I didn’t snore.
Warmth seared my face, and I lowered my gaze to my clenched hands
on the blue comforter.

A fresh breeze coming through the open
balcony door brushed my hair but did little to cool the heat in my
cheeks. “What time is it?”

“Time to get up and hurry downstairs if you
want to eat breakfast before we head out to the vineyard.”

If Marie and Albert still sat in the kitchen
and sipped their morning coffees, it couldn’t be later than seven.
I swung my legs out of bed and slipped into my boots. Waving at
him, I crossed to the balcony door.

Bad habit.

I’d never entered Julian’s room from the
hallway. But then, apart from last night, I had never entered his
room at all. A blow of August wind slapped me in the face and fear
stopped me in my tracks. I almost walked out on the balcony like
there wasn’t an abyss waiting for me underneath. “Dear God, where
are my thoughts?”

“Where indeed?” His purred jibe made the
hairs on my neck stand on end.

I spun on my heel, stuck my tongue out at
his amused face, and trudged to the door.

Smirking, he sank deeper into the couch and
laced his fingers behind his neck. The small furniture creaked
slightly. “See you outside, Jona.”

A slamming door was my answer to his mocking
me.

On Julian’s advice, I hurtled down to grab
the last croissant from the table and stuffed a big piece into my
mouth. “Good morning,” I mumbled with my mouth full. Too late I
realized my mother lodged next to Marie in the corner seat. Never
would I have included her deliberately in my general greeting.

Forcing the bite down, I filled a glass of
orange juice and, standing with my back to her, I guzzled the sweet
nectar down in one draught.

“
Chérie
, what put you in such haste?
Come and sit down with us.” My aunt’s friendly invitation didn’t
sway me.

“I woke late again. Meet you outside.”
Before I could think better, I bent down and pressed a brief kiss
to her cheek. “Thanks for saving the last croissant for me.”

Three pairs of mystified eyes turned to me.
Oh no, what had I done? My spine stiffened. Like a fish on dry
land, I opened and closed my mouth. But honestly, how could you
take back a kiss?

Lips tight in a confused frown, I turned on
the spot and rushed up to my room to change for the day—and to
clear my head.
Aftermath of the happiness from your night in
Julian’s arms
, a small voice in my head chided. I couldn’t
contradict it.

Anticipation brewed in my chest as I loped
down again, taking two stairs at a time. At the bottom, my aunt and
uncle welcomed me with a parental look, and Marie pulled me into a
hug on the way out to the vineyard. Her warmth captured me, and my
arm snaked up to wrap around her waist.

The rich, deep smell of greens grabbed my
senses. A V-formation of wild geese sailed high above our heads,
and I gazed after them, feeling equally free.

Happy to see Julian already started dusting
the roots with fertilizer and next to him a bucket of powder
waiting for me, I cut a pleading glance at Marie. “See you
later?”

Her arm released me. “Off you go,
chérie
.”

Untied boots pounded on the pebbled ground
as I jogged down the path. My grin wouldn’t stay hidden behind
tight lips. Another day of hard work lay before me. But I didn’t
care. Not with this gorgeous and mysterious man by my side.

17

DEAD DUCK – A SIGN OF
LOVE?

ON THURSDAY, NOT a single cloud spoiled the
metallic blue sky stretching as far as the eye could see. As the
hours ticked away, the heat became more intense and by late
afternoon, sweat beaded my forehead. Trudging behind Albert through
the wide open field, I mopped my face with the hem of my green and
gray checkered shirt, while my uncle explained more about
viniculture. I found it hard to concentrate, because my gaze kept
drifting over to Julian in the distance.

Since last night, something had changed in
his look. His brows permanently pulled together, he seemed to be
chewing on a hard nut all day. But each time I’d asked what vexed
him, he only shrugged and changed the subject.

Maybe for the best. A mist of uncertainty
crept over me at the thought of how last night changed
my
view of him. How the sweet moments together amplified my attraction
to this man.

“Jona, are you listening?”

The French lilt of my uncle tore my gaze
away from Julian, and I blinked against the sun. “Sorry, what did
you say?” In fact, I hadn’t heard a word since he’d told me to
listen carefully for this was important.

Albert bestowed me with a sympathetic
glance. “We better call it a day. It has been long enough for all
of us, and I am sure your aunt has our dinner on the table.”

I gladly followed him to the house after
giving Julian a sign with a flick of my head to indicate work was
done for today. A single slight nod was his response.

Since I was the first to come into the
kitchen after scrubbing the dirt off my hands, I met Marie alone.
The pork filets and vegetables added a spicy smell to the air. I
grabbed the plate to set it on the table.

“Albert said you struggled to pay attention
to him in the afternoon because you were distracted…with Julian,”
Marie whispered behind me.

I gulped. “Did he?” My burning face was
nothing I wanted her to see.

“I noticed it too this morning. You could
hardly take your eyes off him.” Her warm fingers hooked my hair
behind my ear. “But he couldn’t either. Is there something
initiating between the two of you?” Her green eyes glowed.

I choked on embarrassment. “No! Absolutely
not.”

The corners of her mouth pointed down when
she still couldn’t ban the prodding tone from her voice. “Oh, that
is a shame. You would make such a lovely couple.”

The memory of me lying in his arms last
night flashed before me, heating not only my face but my entire
body.