Love Untouched (Unexpected) (17 page)

Kieran had a copy of my work schedule so he was aware that I was off today. I figured that he needed to spend time with his friends, so I stopped myself from texting him and waiting for his text, every minute of the day.

When the next morning came, I still hadn’t received any calls or texts from him. I spent the rest of the morning baking to relieve the tension in my chest. When Milo stopped by around noon, he hugged me, as if he sensed that I was going through something. He took two of the chocolate marble cakes, and the banana bread loaf that I had just pulled out of the oven.

“I wish I could pick you up at night, Bee.” Concern lined his speech. His training ran late because he had to share the pool with other swimmers and by the time he finished cool-down, it was close to midnight.

“I’m a grown woman Milo,” I replied. “I can take care of myself now. I am not a little girl anymore. I’ve been watching out for myself for many years, and I’m fine.” It has been a long time coming but he needed to understand this. I have been saying this for how long now but he refused to listen.

“Where’s this coming from?” His question hung around like worm bait on a fishing hook. This was my chance to tell him.

“Someday I will make decisions for myself and you’re not going to like them,” I started. His dark brows furrowed and his mouth hung open like he was about to say something. I gestured with my right palm, holding it up and out facing him, to stop him from interrupting me. He closed his mouth and folded his arms across his chest. “I love you Milo. I always will. You’re my brother. The best brother. But, you have to respect the decisions I make. My happiness might not make you happy, but I hope one day you understand my decisions are ones I feel are best for me.”

He was silent as his right jaw muscle started ticking. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Take a deep breath,” I instructed. I foresaw his temper spilling over again. Milo became a caged warrior when he felt that something was going to threaten his peace, my peace. He took a long, deep breath as I continued, calmly, “I’m just saying you have to respect my choices whether you like them or not.” Before he could say another word, I hugged him. I caught a glimpse of the black Celtic knot tattoo that formed a circle around his right bicep, symbolizing interconnectedness. The letters MBATW inked in a dark blue shade, clearly visible under the light. I had a matching tattoo around my right ankle. The meaning of the ink etched into our skin was just another reminder of how strong our bond was. When everyone else left us, it was, and always has been, ‘
M
ilo and
B
rynn
A
gainst
T
he
W
orld’.

I worked my eight-hour shift with a heavy heart. I missed Kieran. He still hadn’t texted or called. My co-workers asked if something was wrong with me today. They said I looked “sullen” and “dejected’. I simply told them I was just tired. Tired from waiting for Kieran’s texts or calls. Was he avoiding me?

When my shift ended, my body was ready to call it a night. I barely had the energy to walk to my car. Maybe I should listen to Kieran. I should park somewhere closer. My thoughts drifted to Kieran. Again. For some reason, he was shutting me out.

After checking my phone for the hundredth time, I gave up hope that Kieran was going to call me today. Just as I was about to click on the unlock button on my car key, I lifted my eyes to survey my surroundings as a safety precaution. Being careful never hurts.

My heart leaped when I saw a familiar silver Range Rover parked behind my car.

Kieran was standing in front of the hood of his car. He was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and sandals. Even in the dark I saw the tension in his shoulders, his posture was not relaxed; he was not the carefree Kieran I was used to.

I took the last few steps and stopped in front of him. I was hesitant to reach out. Suddenly, he yanked me by my waist, slamming my body into his. My purse jiggled heavily on my right shoulder. Before I had any time to react, he was opening my mouth with his and kissing me hungrily, no finesse, just exerting his power over me. I opened my mouth to say something but he suckled on my tongue, and his hands forcefully pulled the lower half of my body closer to his, my thin scrubs grating and chafing against my skin.

This was not like his other kisses. This time, he was demanding, rough, and almost seemed desperate. It was as if he was punishing himself. Or, punishing me?

When he finally let go of my lips that were feeling slightly raw and sore, he asked, “Will you stay with me tonight?”

I kissed his lips, saying, “Yes.”

We reached his place in record time. Kieran drove—
no
, he raced—while I followed his lead. As soon as he locked the door, he stripped me of my clothes and underwear, and without wasting any time, he wrapped himself with a condom, picked me up, and entered me without ceremony. I was already wet for him so he slid into me easily. He carried me to the couch, my legs crisscrossed around his thighs and his jeans not completely off, causing him to walk awkwardly until finally, he sat us both down. I was on top of him, my nipples taut from his unyielding mouth, and my hips rocked to a beat that he was demanding of me. He pulled on my hair until it loosened from the hair tie I wore for work, and then gathered my hair into one hand while his other hand gripped my waist. This was not gentle sex. This was rough, primal, needy, head-spinning, body-bruising type of sex, but it was what he needed right now. I gave it to him. Offering myself, letting him take what he needed from me and riding it out because I wanted to be the one to give him what he wanted, what he needed. All the time. My eyes tingled with a slow burn from the realization that was dawning inside my body... and my heart. I would give him everything, anything, because I needed him to want me, to need me, to love me the way I loved him.

He rested his forehead on my left shoulder a few minutes after his climax and I reached my peak. He molded his hands around my face, and his deep, brown eyes looked apologetic. “Was I too rough?”

I slowly nodded my head. He looked wounded and tired as he muttered, “I’m so sorry.”

I brushed my hand over the light stubble across his jaw. “Was that what you needed?”

“I tried Brynn,” he responded, evading my question.

“Tried what?”

His eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips. An unwelcome silence passed, and then he pulled me into a hug so tight, my lungs constricted from the pressure. His voice vibrated through my body. “I tried to stop wanting to see you. I tried to stop thinking about you, to make myself not want you. I couldn’t... I just couldn’t.”

Rivulets of tears ran down my cheeks and fell down the back of his shoulder. He loosened his hug and turned my face towards his.

“Honey I am so sorry if I hurt you tonight. For being so rough with you. For making you cry.”

I put two of my fingers to his lips. “I’m not crying because of that. You didn’t hurt me. If you need me like that, you don’t have to ask. I’m here for you. Any way you want me.” The tears continued to flow.

“Why are you crying then?” He asked in a gentle voice, as he rolled my teardrops away with his fingertips.

“Because of what you said, that you wanted to stop seeing me.” The air felt stuffy, I had a hard time catching my breath.

“I couldn’t Brynn,” he told me, repeating his words from earlier. “I said I couldn’t. I thought I could, but you’ve become so important to me that I…,” he paused, his eyes mirroring the war of emotions he was trying to contain inside. “I really like you and I just can’t give you up.”

He folded his hands around my arms, gently stroking. For a moment, I forgot that he was still inside me, the seriousness of our conversation weighing heavily on me, but I felt him get harder, growing bigger inside of me.

“Give me time Kieran.” I asked, knowing that he knew what I meant, that I was talking about Milo.

His eyes shifted uneasily, the hardness inside me suddenly fading away. His back straightened, and his shoulders stiffened. “If I give you time, will you choose me?”

The impact of his question hit me like a tornado swooping down on its target, whipping me into a tailspin. The force so great that it took me a minute or two to answer his question. His demeanor revealing his anticipation that my answer would doom us.

“Kieran I’m here with you, aren’t I?” I replied, my voice unwavering. His mouth landed on mine before I even finished talking. I loved Kieran. With one hundred percent certainty. I could not give him up. I didn’t want to give him up.

“I wish to have a pool in my backyard.”

~P.D., age 8, Duchenne’s muscular dystrophy

Knock, knock.

My legs were propped up against the side of the couch; unopened packages were all around me—on the floor, on the coffee table, on the couch. Everywhere. Man, I needed to fix this before Brynn got here. She had texted me an hour ago saying she was doing some shopping with Ava. Knowing Brynn, she would just walk into a home store or a baking store and call it “shopping.” I have gone with her shopping, and whew! She could spend a whole day comparing one pan to the other, or one baking sheet to another, and browsing through tons of cookbooks. I would complain, but I couldn’t because her sparkling eyes and enthusiasm just got to me. I just always ended up kissing her while she showed me some sort of weird-looking cutlery or gadget. Brynn was the type of woman who made Rachel Ray and her cronies rich. For me, a pot was a pot. Who cared if it was aluminum cookware, coated inside with stainless steel, non-stick, or porcelain enamel? Apparently, Brynn did. It made her happy. So, I stayed. For two hours, almost every other week, we visited those baking and cooking stores. If you asked me what a starter baking set should have, I could now tell you with a straight face that it included a cookie sheet, a loaf pan, a rectangular cake pan, a plastic lid for the cake pan, and a muffin pan. The reward for that bit of information? A night of hot sex with Brynn. I was pretty sure that if Duncan and Peter heard about my newly founded knowledge of all things baking, I would be at the receiving end of incessant jokes and teasing. Who cared? Brynn was the best cook and baker in town. She could make plain bread taste good just because she made it. Thoughts of Brynn’s exemplary culinary skills were interrupted by the loud knocking.

I stood up and opened the door.

Brynn
.

Little white liar. I thought she was with Ava?

She gave me a dimpled smile, her eyes were light blue in color at that moment, and her cheeks flushed pink. She prodded, “Well, are you going to help me or what?” Brynn’s face always mesmerized me. It was the first thing I wanted to look at in the morning. One morning, she mischievously took a photo of herself with my phone and made it my screensaver. I have not replaced it since.

I looked down to where she was pointing and saw the bags of groceries that she had set by her legs.

I lifted all three bags, and even took the small one that she was holding, and leaned forward to kiss her. She gave me a quick kiss and sidestepped me to walk inside.

Hmm. No passionate kisses today?

“Kieran the ice cream’s going to melt. Can you please put it inside the freezer?”

Okay, that’s why there was no passionate kiss. She bought ice cream and that was her priority.

She looked at me for a few seconds and guessed what I was thinking. “Oh, come on. I’ll give you plenty of kisses later.” She knew me so well.

I stepped closer to her, put the grocery bags on the floor, circled her waist with my hands, and touched my lips to hers.

Her breath hitched and her eyes darkened with desire. “Kieran, the ice cream...”

“Can wait,” I replied, my tongue stroking her lower lip.

She murmured against my kiss, “Strwwbry.” Was she saying strawberry?

I let her mouth go for a second. “Strawberry cheesecake.”

Oh, dang.

She wiggled her eyebrows at me, walked to the cupboards, and started taking out baking ingredients that she had been keeping stocked at my place. I took out the grocery items from the bags and started putting them inside the refrigerator. For the past few months, Brynn and I have settled into a routine of buying groceries together. Since Milo frequented her place, whatever we bought was stored at my apartment.