Authors: Amber Garza
27
Ryker
This night is not going well. Actually it’s going a lot like Lola warned me it would. However, I mistakenly believed that I could charm her parents. I figured that my mom loves me, Pierce, Jimmy and Beckett’s parents all love me, so why shouldn’t Lola’s? Obviously I underestimated their ability to stay immune to my charm.
“So, Ryan, what have you been doing since graduation?” Dr. Vega has continued to call me Ryan even though I’ve corrected him like ten times already.
“Dad,” Lola hisses from across the table. “His name is
Ryker.”
I’m sitting directly next to Lola so I place a steadying hand on her leg. We are in one of the swankier restaurants in town, so the table is covered in a white linen tablecloth, therefore Dr. and Mrs. Vega can’t see where my hand is located. The candle in the center of the table flickers, casting a soft yellow glow over all of our faces.
Dr.Vega hears his daughter but doesn’t bother correcting himself.
I just sigh and try to come up with some answer that will suit him. So far nothing else I’ve said has, but you can’t blame a guy for trying, right? Reaching for my water
, I take a quick sip, buying myself more time. After putting it down I glance up at him. Mrs. Vega sits next to her husband, her botoxed lips pursed. “Well, I’ve been working at Beats, and interning at a local radio station. And of course, the band keeps me busy.”
“
Beats?” Dr. Vega raises a bushy brow.
“Yeah, it’s a record store,” I say.
Lola stiffens beside me. When I look at her I notice her face has paled. I feel bad, wishing I had better answers to give. Only I don’t. What I said is the truth.
“I see.” Dr. Vega strokes his chin.
Mrs. Vega gives Lola an exasperated look and then reaches for her wine glass. We haven’t even started dinner and she’s on her third one.
Dr. Vega eyes my soda with amusement. “You don’t drink, Ryan?”
I bite my lip to keep myself from correcting him, while squeezing Lola’s thigh to keep her from doing it either. Clearly this is some sort of power play, and I’m just going to let it go even though it’s bothering in me in more ways than one. I know how hard it is for Lola to stand up to her parents. She’s doing so well with her recovery. In fact, she had her first appointment with the therapist this week. It’s a fact that she doesn’t want her parents to know. She says they won’t approve, which honestly makes me dislike them even more. “No, I don’t, sir,” I reply.
He smirks as if he’s caught me in a lie. “You expect me to believe that?”
“Believe what you want.” I shrug. “It’s the truth.”
Lola exhales as the waiter arrives with our food. I have to say that I’m actually relieved as well. I’m hoping maybe the interrogation will
end now. Everyone is silent as the food is placed in front of us. Then Mrs. Vega orders her fourth glass of wine. Her eyelids are drooping and she is starting to slump a little in her seat. I pick up my fork and start eating the vegetables on my plate.
Beside me, Lola cuts into her steak with gusto. After taking a few bites, her mom eyes her with fascination.
“Steak, huh?” Her mom slurs.
Lola drops her fork, and glances at her mom’s salad.
“I guess you’re not worried about your weight.” I’m shocked at her mom’s statement.
Lola’s body goes rigid. I set my fork down and will my voice to stay steady and calm. “Lola doesn’t need to worry about her weight. She’s gorgeous. She’s perfect.”
Mrs. Vega recoils like she’s been slapped. Then she raises her brows at me in a look that I can’t decipher. Appreciation? Disgust? Admiration? I can’t tell. But before she can say anything further, the waiter returns with her drink.
Lola stares at her plate as if she can’t quite figure out what to do. Now I get why she struggles so much. Her parents are horrible. I stroke her thigh, hoping it gives
her comfort. With my other hand I spear a forkful of my potatoes and shove them in my mouth. The rest of the meal is pretty uneventful. Sure, Dr. Vega peppered the conversation with more questions. All of which I bomb. But Mrs. Vega is relatively silent. However, I think it’s because she’s drunk. Lola is quieter than I’ve ever known her to be. Not that I blame her at all. If I could go the whole night without uttering a word, I gladly would do it. But no matter how bad it is, I’m still glad I’m here to support Lola. In fact, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that I will never let her be alone with this pack of wolves again - certainly not until she’s stronger and further along in her recovery.
After dinner
Dr. Vega waves down the waiter and asks for the check. My shoulders visibly relax. Mrs. Vega stands, pushing away from the table. “C’mon, Lola, let’s get the car from the valet. Let the boys talk while they wait for the check.”
My stomach twists. Lola gives me a wary look, but I nod at her to let her know
that it’s fine. Only I’m not sure that it is. Why do I feel like this is some sort of setup?
Once the women leave, I glance up at Dr. Vega’s smug face and know that it is. I sit forward waiting for the inevitable.
“So, Ryker.”
I snort. “Glad you finally figured out my name.”
“Oh, I know a lot more than just your name, son.” Dr. Vega leans forward, his eyes darkening. “I know all about you. You see I have friends in all sorts of occupations. So I had a little background check on you. And do you know what I found out?”
Yes, I do.
“I found out that you’re not really the person my daughter thinks you are. Right, Ryan?”
Hot and cold flashes rip up and down my spine.
So the whole Ryan thing wasn’t a mistake. It was calculated. Dr. Vega has found out the secret I’ve spent years hiding. I sit still as if frozen in place. All the air leaves me, and I’m momentarily dizzy. I feel both sickened and free at the same time.
“I know the entire story, son, so there’s no reason to keep up the charade any longer.” Dr. Vega sits forward, tenting his fingers in front of him. “Here’s the deal. If you break it off with Lola, then your secret is safe with me. If you insist on continuing to date her
, I’ll make sure she knows the whole sordid tale.”
My body starts to shake, as sweat trails down my spine. Bile
rises in my throat, and my stomach rolls. Taking a deep breath, I regain composure and lift my eyes to meet Dr. Vega’s. I nod, knowing exactly what I have to do. There really is no other choice.
28
Lola
I descend on Ryker the minute he and my dad exit the restaurant. The whole time Mom and I waited, my nerves were completely frayed. I wasn’t born yesterday, so I know Mom’s whole plan to get the cars was just a ruse for dad to talk alone with Ryker. Only why? What did he say to him? Ryker’s face is pinched and pale. My stomach tightens. I grab his hand and thread my fingers through his, but he stays stiff at my side.
My dad’s face is smug, and I narrow my eyes at him wondering what he said to upset
Ryker. Anger courses through my veins. My parents have been horrible all evening. I just want to get the hell out of here. Gratefully, I see the valet pulling up with Ryker’s car.
“Thanks for dinner,” I say to Mom and Dad, my voice tight. Then I yank
Ryker toward his car. Once inside, I heave a sigh of relief. When he pulls silently away from the curb, I can’t help but notice the warning look my dad shoots him.
What is going on?
“I’m so sorry about my parents,”
I say. The air is bitter cold even in the car, and I rub my hands together in an effort to get warm.
“It’s fine.”
His voice is strained and he keeps his face forward, staring out at the stream of light spilling from his headlights.
I glance out the window
at the pitch black sky with only the brightly lit restaurants and shops breaking through the darkness. “What happened when Mom and I left to get the cars?”
Ryker
presses his lips together, but doesn’t respond. His knuckles whiten as he grips tightly to the steering wheel. Fear snakes around my heart.
“
Ryker?” I speak tentatively. “What happened? Please tell me.”
A
stream of air pushes past his lips. “Lola, I will. I’ll tell you everything. Let’s just go somewhere that we can talk. I don’t want to do this while I’m driving.”
I nod, alarmed by his words. What could have happened that was so bad? I mean, I assumed dad was just being a jerk or giving
Ryker some warning about not hurting his daughter or something. But the way Ryker is acting makes me suspect that it was something more; maybe even something sinister.
By the time he
pulls into the parking lot of his apartment, I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. He doesn’t utter a word until we are safely in his room with the door closed. Bracing for the worst, I sink down on the edge of his bed cradling my hands in my lap. My gaze flickers to his walls which are covered in rock n’ roll posters, bands I don’t know. His dresser is littered with CD’s, an ipod sits in the corner. There is a faraway look on Ryker’s face as he runs a hand through his hair. A strand gets caught on his finger and when he releases it, it sticks up crudely from his head like a horn.
“I haven’t told you everything about me, Lola.”
His words stop me cold, my heart freezing. I want to say something, but I seem to have lost the ability to speak.
His face is pained as he rests his back against the wall near the door. It’s almost like he’s s
cared to be near me. This terrifies me further. He angles his head toward the ceiling, the back of his head hitting the wall. “My real name is Ryan Walters.”
I recoil from the force of his words. “What?”
His gaze is still trained up at the ceiling. Neither of us makes any attempt to move from our spots. “My dad is Rufus Walters. He was quite a bit older than my mom when they started dating. And she fell for him hard. My parents lived in New York when I was conceived. My dad ran with a pretty rough crowd, but my mom didn’t realize just how bad until after I was born. That’s when she found that my dad was involved in a local gang. When I was just two years old, he was arrested for multiple murders and sentenced to life without parole.” Ryker pauses a minute, and I force myself to breathe, realizing that I’d been holding my breath as he spoke. “At that point my mom moved here and changed my name. Collins is my mom’s last name. She decided on Ryker because she always called me Ry. This way she could keep calling me that.” Finally a smile breaks through, reminding me of the Ryker I fell in love with. “Besides, she said that even then she knew I would one day be a rockstar. I loved music from the time I was born. She figured Ryker sounded like a rockstar name.”
“Why Seattle?
Did your mom have relatives here or something?”
Ryker
nods. “Yeah, an aunt. My mom’s parents disowned her when she got with my dad. She ran away to be with him. He was an adult, but she was only seventeen when she had me.” He chuckles gruffly. “We’ve grown up together, I guess you could say.”
It finally all makes sense. “So, is that the real reason you’ve never slept with anyone?”
Ryker’s eyes lock with mine, a sad smile passing over his lips. “Yeah, sort of. I mean, my dad ruined my mom’s life. She was a mom at such a young age. I never wanted to risk that, you know? So I made a vow at a young age to wait until I was with the person that I was certain I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”
My heart jumps in my chest, knowing he’s talking about me. It feels like the greatest honor in the world. Like a precious gift we can one day share in together. At times I’ve been embarrassed about being a virgin, but at this moment, I’m so glad.
I stand up, my legs wobbly. “You’ve kept this a secret all these years?”
Ryker
nods, looking over at me. “I’ve had to. Not just to keep us safe, but also because I don’t want anyone to know. The only people I’ve told are Beckett and Pierce. Well…and Fiona.”
“Who’s
Fiona?” Lola narrows her eyes.
“My ex
-girlfriend. She was a singer, and she was enamored with me because I was in a band. Beckett and I have known Fiona since we were kids, so when we got together she had been under the impression that my dad had been a rockstar. I didn’t ever really correct her. After we’d been together for awhile I told her about my dad. I thought she loved me, you know?” He laughs bitterly. “But she didn’t. She went after Beckett, tried to seduce him.”
“Oh
, no.” I gasp, clamping a hand over her mouth.
“Ye
ah. So, that’s why I’ve kept it to myself. I didn’t want to lose you that way too. I thought I loved Fiona until I met you. Now I really know what love is. It was so hard when I lost Fiona, but it would kill me to lose you.”
“I’m sorry,
Ryker.”
I don’t know what else to say
. “What made you finally tell me tonight?”
“
Your dad forced my hand, actually. He did some digging and found out the whole story.”
“What?” The familiar anger I feel toward my parents’ surfaces. “Why would he do that?” I take another step toward
Ryker. I want to touch him, to hold him, but he seems skittish, like a dangerous wild animal.
“
Because he wants me to break up with you. He told me that if I walked away from you then my secret was safe, but if I stayed with you then he would tell you all about me.”
“
Ryker, I’m so sorry. He never should’ve done that to you.” I bridge the gap between us and reach for him. “God, I could kill him.”
His eyes widen in shock. “You’re mad at him? Not me?”
“Why would I be mad at you?” I peer up at him in wonder.
“I kept something from you. I lied to you about who I am, Lola”
I reach up and touch his face. “No, you didn’t. I know exactly who you are. I don’t care that you were born with a different name. This is the person you are. You’re Ryker Collins. The most kind and gentle person I know. You’re sexy and super talented. But more importantly, you’re the man I love.”
“But my dad was a horrible person. He’s a sociopath.
A murderer. And I have his blood pumping through my veins.”
“You’re not anything like your dad. Hell, you don’t even know him. You’re a product of your mom
, and she’s wonderful.” I trail my fingertips down his cheek and over his jawline. “I hate that my dad brought all this doubt and worry into your mind. I hate that he brought this up at all. But I’m so glad that you didn’t break up with me. I’m glad you told me.”
Ryker
studies me a minute, his brow furrowed. Then his hands slide up and rest at my waist. “I’m glad too. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I was scared. Already I don’t fit into your plan, Lola. I’m not a doctor or lawyer. I may never have any money or be able to give you the life you want. I didn’t want to admit to you that I also am the son of a murdering gangster.”
A thought strikes me. “Are you scared that he’ll find you?”
Ryker shakes his head. “I used to worry about it a little. But he’s in prison, and he’s never getting out. Mom assures me that we’re safe. All of his friends are in prison too. And there’s really no reason for any of them to care about us. Especially not now. Besides, even when they were together Mom wasn’t privy to anything that he did. He kept her out of the loop. I guess I should be grateful to him for that. Sometimes I wonder if that was his way of loving her.”
“The whole thing must have been so terrible for her,” I say
, thinking about how sweet and kind Dana is. I can’t even imagine her being with a guy like that.
Ryker
pulls me even closer. “Thank you, Lola.”
“For what?”
I rest my hand on his chest.
“For being so understanding about all this.
I know it’s a lot to take in.”
I shake my head. “
Ryker, you’ve been so great to me, and you’ve helped me through so much. I’m actually honored to be able to finally be here for you this time.”
“I love you, beautiful.” He lifts my chin and leans in close. I move even closer until our lips meet.
“I love you too.” I kiss him, breathing in the feel and taste of him. “And I really am sorry about what my parents put you through tonight. I can’t even believe they did that. I mean, I knew they didn’t want us together, but this is ridiculous.”
“Maybe it was a blessing in disguise.”
Ryker shrugs, his hands still sitting on my waist. “It got us to talk, right?”
“It doesn’t matter. It was still a shitty thing to do.” I grunt in frustration. “Besides, they didn’t even try to get to know you, and that bothers me the most
, I think. I’ve dated some real jerks, and just because they were aspiring doctors or something my parents liked them. You are the best guy I’ve ever been with, and they’re too clouded by greed and money to see that.”
“The best guy you’ve been with, huh?”
Ryker cocks a half smile.
“By far,” I say. Then I sigh. “Tomorrow my parents are leaving, but we’re going to breakfast first. I plan to have a little chat with them about all this.”
Ryker squeezes me. “No. Please don’t. This isn’t your battle.”
“Like hell it isn’t.”
“Lola, you don’t have to do this.” Concern etches his face.
“
Ryker.” I push away from him and turn around. “I’m not so fragile that you have to worry I’ll break at any minute. I’m strong enough to stand up to my parents.”
“I just worry about you, Lola.” He comes up behind me, circling his arms around my waist. “You’re doing so well with your therapy and everything
, and I just don’t want them to mess that up.”
I lean back, resting against his strength. “I won’t. I promise.”
“You want me to come with?”
I shake my head. “I th
ink it would be best if you didn’t.”
“Okay, I’ll stay out of it on one condition.” He grabs me by the shoulders and spins me to face him. “You have to call me if you can’t handle it.”
I nod. “Deal.”
My nerves are frayed as I step into the restaurant. Sweeping my gaze around, I don’t see my parents. My stomach is in knots, and I jiggle my legs in an effort to remain calm. The hostess is leading a couple to a table. The restaurant is loud. Voices and the clanging of dishes pour over me and swell around me, a sweeping crescendo.
“Hey,” Star sidles up next me.
I turn to her. “What are you doing here?”
“
Ryker texted me. He told me what you planned to do.”
“He did?”
She links arms with me, holding me close. I rest against her, grateful for the support. “It’s not that he didn’t think you could handle it. He just didn’t want you to be alone.”
I smile. As much as I wanted to do this by myself, I’m glad Star is here.
“There you are, Lola.” Mom appears before me, her eyes puffy, her face drawn. Her gaze flicks to Star. “Oh, hi, Star. I didn’t realize you would be here.” Dad walks up, his dress shoes clicking on the floor, his expensive cologne overpowering the room. His dark hair is slicked back with gel, his dark eyes hard.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Vega,” Star says. “Good to see you again.”
Mom’s eyes rove over Star’s body. “I see you’re still dressing the same.”
“Yep,” Star says emphatically. “Still like my comfy jeans.”