"Ohhhhhh … Ohhhhhh…"
I could feel him spreading my moisture and inserting his fingers into my tight anal canal. I was aroused; melting with every stroke, with every touch. I needed more. I started having that familiar panicked buildup where I knew that if I didn't get some relief quick, I'd start rubbing myself off for instant alleviation.
"Louis, I'm ready. Don't play too long; I need you inside."
"I have a horny little girl on my hands tonight. What happened? Did your husband not make love to you on the plane ride over to London? If I'd been there you wouldn't be begging me to fuck you in the ass right now. You wouldn't be able to walk. I want to be inside that tight hole more than anything in the fucking world. Oh, yeah. You are ready for me. You were made for me."
I had to physically stop myself from coming at his words. I was counting the seconds until he pounded into me. He aligned the head at my rear entrance and spit down into my ass. How did he still have this crazy effect on me? It was painful that first inch until I could feel his whole mushroomed tip fit in and then he slowly pushed in. The sounds coming out of Louis' mouth were intoxicatingly guttural. This kind of carnal satisfaction could only be achieved with rough uninhibited sex. After the initial intrusion, I loved the feel of Louis filling me from behind. It felt different than vaginal intercourse. I started letting go again, giving my head a chance to catch up to my stimulated body.
"Louis, I'm coming. Come with me … Ohhhhhh … Louis … I'm coming."
I was shaking and spasming around his stiff rod. I could feel myself contract around him. He wasn't even moving. He was just buried fully inside me and I could feel his balls against my pussy. He wrapped his lean hard body around my small frame. He was so enormously broad that you couldn't even tell I was under him. It was like being swallowed whole by Louis. I was shaking and he was my human blanket. Once he felt my trembling subside he lifted himself up and started punishing my ass. This wasn't my gentle caring husband; this was a wild savage lover who was pummeling me with no mercy. His fingers were digging into the flesh on my ass with such force that I knew I would be wearing his handprints for days. It felt like he was trying to split me open to accommodate his ample girth. Sweat was dripping off him and onto my back. He was ready to detonate. I knew what would set him off to the land of ecstatic bliss.
"Touch my tits," I cried out breathlessly.
He instantly let go of my ass cheeks and brought his hands under me to cup my swinging boobs. He squeezed them and moaned his satisfaction. I let one hand go of the armrest I was gripping for dear life and started rubbing my clit. There was no way I would let him explode without me. He was using the hold he had on my tits to shove me harder into his pounding cock. My euphoric countdown had already started. I was just waiting for Louis to say go.
"Fuck …. Commmmme … I'm coming baby, I'm there, please come … Em … Ohhhhhh..."
We were both in paradise … Louis was pouring himself into me while Joe Cocker was crooning
Up Where We Belong
in my head.
That … Was … Perfect.
"I love your ass. I love you … every fucking inch of you. Only you, baby."
Were we still in London?
****
The next day I still didn't get the answers I was hoping for from Louis. He told me he wanted me to make up my own mind about Gavin and that once I'd met him we could compare notes. We met Sara and Gavin for lunch at the Ritz Hotel. I was dreadfully nervous—you'd think I was meeting my future husband. We were waiting in the lobby for a good ten minutes before I saw them come our way. Gavin was tall with jet-black hair molded to his head and perfectly coiffed like plastic. He was more pretty than handsome. He carried himself in a way that showed he knew he was good-looking. He and Sara were walking with a two-foot gap between them, more like business associates than lovers. They weren't even holding hands. I looked up to see Louis studying my reaction. He knew what I was thinking.
"Em, be nice and give him a chance before you annihilate him. I can see the jury has already read the verdict in that pretty little head of yours."
I was totally going to give him a chance before I tried to vanquish this love farce. He walked over to us, shaking hands with Louis before directing his two thousand megawatt smile my way, giving me the up and down glance over.
"E … mma … llly, nice to finally meet you. I think Sara only surrounds herself with gorgeous people. Louis, you did well. It's a good thing I didn't grow up in America or my knob would be on the pull for some of that fit arse."
I think I puked a little in my mouth. He was extremely fake; he kept looking around to see who was watching him. How could she possibly be with a man like this? Yes, he was easy on the eyes, but so what? He hadn't even looked at my beautiful friend who was wilting by his side. Gavin didn't even make an attempt to touch her. Yuk, this guy was not for Sara. I looked over at Sara and she picked up on the deranged look on my face. I had to tell her to run. I didn't need to get to know Gavin. I already knew at that point that I would rather her be with Jeff than this pompous dick. He didn't love her. He only loved himself. He was full of himself. I had to endure a whole lunch with him?
"Sara, could you please show me the ladies room?"
"Emily, I don't work here; go ask someone at the desk where the loo is."
You stupid cow,
I need to talk to you about your stupid fiancé
, I was trying to tell her telepathically. Louis offered to take me to find a bathroom. I told him it was fine and that I'd find one once we got settled at our table. Once we were seated I looked at Sara, who was trying to avoid my gaze at all costs. She knew this marriage was not happening if I had any say in it.
"Do you know what song I just heard in the car coming here? It was that ‘80s song by Flock of Seagulls,
I Ran (so far away)
… Sara, do you remember that song?"
She looked at me, obviously not in the mood for my song selection. We were staring each other down when Gavin opened his stupid mouth and said, "I hate ‘80s songs; they give me the creeps. I can't bloody believe some nutters still fancy those songs."
He was officially dead to me. I think I even saw Sara cringe. Louis squeezed my knee under the table to snap me out of the shock. I think he was making sure I stayed seated and didn't launch myself across the table to scratch Gavin's pretty little eyes out. I don't know anything else that was said during that lunch; I checked myself out. I do remember Gavin telling Louis he was invited to his
stag night.
Over my dead body would my husband attend this dickhead's bachelor party!
When we parted that day Sara whispered in my ear, "Nothing you could say will make me not marry him. Let it go … it's happening!"
As soon as we left the happy couple Louis said, "Relax, I'm not leaving you to go to some bachelor party with guys I have no desire to ever get to know."
Thank God. I was beyond excited to be in London yesterday and today I just wanted to go back home to my kids and New York City.
"Why is she marrying him? I don't like him; he's not a good guy. I don't think they even said more than two words to each other…"
Louis stopped walking and pulled me in for a much needed hug. He knew I wasn't getting any love from my best friend.
"He may be really great in the sack." I looked up to see an adorable grin on my husband's beautiful face. "Em, we don't know what's going on in that crazy head of hers. Her best friend has been married with children for years. She wants that, too. I agree that what Sara and Gavin have doesn't come close to our relationship. But this is her choice and we need to support her."
"I can't lie to her. He makes my skin crawl."
Louis brushed my hair from my face and leaned down to kiss my lips. "Baby, the good news is … you don't have to marry him. I believe you're already spoken for."
I let go of Gavin and Sara on that horrible London trip. They got married and I attended her wedding in body but my heart and spirit were somewhere else. Everybody except Louis and I seemed to be in love with this pseudo man. I truly wished them a happily ever after, although I knew there was no way in hell they'd get one. When we left London I texted Sara:
Right Here Waiting For You
by Richard Marx.
She'd understand, and when the time came that she needed me I would be there for her.
I wasn't part of her New York wedding. I heard from Louis, who heard from Eddie, that Sara's parents had a small family dinner to celebrate her marriage to the vainest man I had ever met. We still texted each other from time to time but it wasn't us. It was forced and cold and distant. I'd lost my best friend in London and I really wished I had her back. As long as she was pretending to love that idiot we couldn't be friends and she knew it. She could pretend with him but she couldn't lie to me. We knew each other too well. I wanted to call her a million times in the past few years but I just didn't know what to say.
The last contact we had was a text I'd sent her on her birthday four months ago. I texted her,
I Just Called To Say I Love You
by Stevie Wonder.
I was desperate to have her send me back any song title. I waited for a week and then sent her another text:
We Belong
by Pat Benatar.
I wanted to know what was going on in her life. I knew she was hurting … alone. I also wanted to talk to her about what was going on in my life.
She finally texted me back two weeks later:
Thank you … Ditto.
It was like our old friendship had just vanished. I guess she hated ‘80s songs now, too. I had a language but no one to speak it with. Eddie told me about her divorce two months ago, before anyone knew about it. He made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone because even his parents didn't know that Sara and Gavin had filed for divorce. I wanted to call her but what would I say? I figured she'd call me when she was ready.
The honeymoon is over, little girl...
L
ouis made this deal with himself. For every one of our birthdays he would add another property for us to call home. We had so many homes that lately we only got a chance to visit them once a year, if we were lucky. We had a summer beach house in South Hampton; a gorgeous ski lodge on Mont Tremblant in Montreal; an ultra-modern condo in Miami's Bal Harbour; a beautiful historic château in the Champagne region of France; a breathtaking villa in Santorini; and in London we had that condo on Tree Lane that Louis purchased when we attended Sara's wedding. We never needed to stay in hotels because we could always stay at one of our own fully staffed homes. I'd never asked for any of those homes. I'd have been happy living in our treehouse if given the chance. Louis would inform me that he'd bought
me
another house. Truth be told, all I needed was Louis and our babies…
My parents were doing great; they loved spending almost every available second with their grandchildren. Jenna and Mike finally had a baby after trying for years with fertility drugs. On June 2
nd
they welcomed a healthy little baby girl into all our lives. Baby Renée was now the official center of our family. So many amazing things happened in those early years of our marriage. I was blessed to be with the man that I loved and adored. I was the chosen one and I reveled in the knowledge and security of our life together.
I never had to worry about money. Louis made it clear that my job was to be his wife and lover and be there for our children. He never told me how to spend our money; I was told I had free reign. I had access to all our funds; I just never needed to use it. Louis took care of everything. I didn't make any decision concerning the financial aspects of our life. Looking back, I should've been more involved. What kind of person lets someone else do everything? The same kind of person who gets married at nineteen years old. I was David and Adele's daughter until I met Louis, and then I became Louis Bruel's wife. I never got the chance to just be Emily. I never had the opportunity to worry about making the rent or even paying for my own cup of coffee. I was a kept woman. I made my bed and I'd have to lie in it, or in my case, get kicked out of it.
****
I can't say the exact date or moment that I felt a premonition of what lay ahead. We just slowly started drifting apart like two icebergs in an ocean. Over the last four months my husband gradually withdrew; first sexually and then emotionally from our long love affair. My family didn't notice a thing. Louis was still a devoted father, a loyal friend to Mike and Eddie and a dedicated businessman. He just stopped being my best friend and lover.
He would come home from work at ungodly hours. It started with phone calls telling me he would be missing dinner, then he would call and tell me to put the kids to bed without him and then he just stopped calling. He would come home and go to bed without even attempting to kiss me or touch me. I was lost; I didn't know this Louis Bruel. He even made sure to get up way before me to leave for work each morning. He would leave before the sun came up. He didn't touch me or talk to me and the only thing I could do, after getting his message loud and clear, was let him slowly abandon me. We were like two ships passing in the night. I tried to talk to him and figure out what was bothering my loving partner. Our conversations were short and always ended the same: "Baby I'm fine. Don't worry; just lots of shit going on at work right now." I could recite those words by heart I'd heard them so many times.
I wanted to get us out from under the black cloud that descended upon us. We needed to get away from the city. Louis needed to clear his head and I knew just the place that could do it. I decided to surprise Louis with a trip to our house
The Blue Lagoon
in Turks and Caicos. Out of all our properties around the world that was the most sentimental place for us. That house was his engagement gift to me and where we got married. It was the place we took Rose as a baby on her first vacation. It was our little paradise. Where we became a family. Maybe if I could bring him back to where it all started we could get past our dry spell. I arranged the company jet to fly us there as soon as the kids were finished with their school year and I could become dispensable for a few days. When I finally told Louis of the surprise that I'd arranged for us he was frantic and livid.