Lonesome Bride (17 page)

When Sally had gone inside, Caite turned to Jed. Her jaw was clenched firmly. “I've decided to become a school teacher. I shall do my best to secure a post in Lonesome or Staghorn as soon as possible. I promise I will not be here much longer."

"That's not why I wanted to talk to you.” Jed couldn't keep the foolish grin from spreading across his face like syrup on a flapjack. Couldn't she see by his expression what he wanted to talk to her about? Gorry, he hadn't felt this clumsy since he'd been about twelve or so.

"Oh?” There it was—the cocked eyebrow. He wanted to take her face in his hands and plant a kiss right in that spot. Heck, in every spot!

"Do you think we could go outside for a minute?"

"I promised I'd make bubble-up bread,” Caite replied coolly. “I don't have time to lollygag about, Jed."

Jed pulled gently on her elbow. “Just come."

"Fine.” She sighed in exasperation, carefully extracted herself from his grasp and followed him outside.

"Over here.” Jed indicated the side of the house furthest away from the kitchen. He didn't want their voices to carry. When he announced their nuptials, he wanted everyone to be surprised.

Caite stood in front of him, arms folded. “Yes?"

This was it. Jed took a deep breath, feeling suddenly as skittish as a newborn colt. Another sappy grin filled his face.

"I reckon you were surprised when Pa came home with a wife.” He could have kicked himself for sounding so stupid.

"Your powers of observation are amazing."

"Well, it just works out perfect after all, though, doesn't it?"

Suspicion was clearly stamped across her lovely features. “What are you trying to say?"

"Now we can get married,” Jed said, and braced himself for her tears of joy.

Caitleen did not cry. Her face paled dramatically, and her fists clenched at her sides, but nary a tear showed itself within the depths of her captivating green eyes. Instead, she whipped out a hand and slapped his cheek.

"What the heck was that for?” Jed growled, holding his face.

"You unbelievable blackguard!” Caite cried. “How dare you assume such a thing?"

She had slapped the smile right off his lips. “I thought you'd want to get hitched!"

"To you?” Caite was incredulous.

"Yeah, to me!” Jed retorted. She really had him riled now. “That's what you wanted all along, isn't it?"

Caite sputtered, her face turning red. “You horrible, horrible man!"

"You're repeating yourself,” Jed remarked rudely. Where were her tears of joy?

"You told me to my face that you do not care for me,” Caite snapped. “So please do not insult me with this farce about marriage!"

"It's my duty to marry you.” The entire situation had been torn from his hands. Blast this woman, but she made his hackles rise.

"Your duty!” Caite shrieked. “To the devil with you, Jed Peters! To blazes with you and your duty!"

"C'mon, Caitleen,” Jed said, wanting to get the conversation back on track. “You don't have much choice anyway."

"No choice? What is your rationale for that ludicrous statement?"

Now he felt uncomfortable, but if she were going to force him to point out the obvious, well, then, he'd oblige. “You remember what happened at the cabin, Caitleen. No man wants used goods. No decent man anyway."

She blanched, the color leaching from her cheeks and throat. “Your father is a decent man. You were willing for me to marry him."

Jed shrugged. “You were a mail-order bride. He was expecting someone who'd strayed a little, Caite. Any man you meet in Lonesome or Staghorn is going to expect the maiden schoolteacher to actually be a maiden. You'd have a mighty hard time describing why you're not. Why not just let me marry you?"

"I would not marry you if you put a gun to my head.” Caite's fabulous emerald eyes narrowing in an expression he recognized all too well. “I would not marry you if God himself decreed that we should wed."

Jed stepped back from the palpable force of her fury. “Caite, listen..."

He did not have time to explain himself, or to apologize for losing his temper and saying things he did not mean. Caite had turned on her heel and left him in the dirt, with only a few pecking chickens at his feet for company.

Damn.

Let him marry her, indeed! Caite fumed and seethed as she whirled around the corner of the house. No choice, he had said. To blazes and back with his choice, and his duty.

Just a short time ago she had been delighted at the thought of marrying Jed. That was before she had discovered that behind his handsome face and appealing body lurked the soul of a scoundrel as black as a hundred Drake Hammonds. She certainly did not need his cheap favors.

"Caitleen!"

He had had the nerve to follow her. Caite halted in disbelief. The man had actually come after her.

"I have nothing more to say to you,” she replied, calmer now. As always, her anger had blown through her and away like a summer storm. It was the one good thing about having inherited her father's temper.

"I just want to know one thing,” Jed said. “Why not?"

"Why not what?” she asked, although she knew.

"Why won't you marry me?"

Could that be a hint of despair in his handsome green eyes? Of course not. He had already said he did not care for her. Whether he was lying or telling the truth, she was no better off. She would no more join her life with a liar than she would with a man who did not love her. Her decision to marry a stranger had ended with her obligation to marry Buck Peters. If she ever chose to marry, Caite determined it would be for the right reasons.

"If I have to explain my reasons for not wishing to marry you, then you would not understand,” she said icily.

"I reckon I do understand,” Jed retorted. “You think I'm some dumb cowboy, don't you?"

"Of course not!” she replied, taken aback by his comment. She had never thought him unintelligent. Stubborn and arrogant, yes, but never stupid.

"You didn't seem to mind my rough edges at the cabin,” he continued, advancing on her by a step.

"I have no idea where you got the idea I thought you were dumb,” she remarked in a low voice, mindful all at once they were very close to the house. “But you are certainly no gentleman to remind me of what happened at the cabin!"

"That's the problem, ain't it?” Jed continued, his drawl becoming thicker. “I ain't no gentleman. A gentleman sure'n blazes wouldn't do this!"

Before Caite could stop him, he had pulled her into his arms and crushed his mouth down to hers. Her every protest fled under the onslaught of his lip-bruising kiss. Of their own accord, her arms wound around his neck. The very air in her lungs flowed from her into him and back again, making breathing unnecessary. The kiss seemed to go on forever.

Forever was cut short as Jed pulled away from her abruptly. He was breathing as hard as she, Caite noted with pleasure. She would have been hard pressed to notice much else, even as she was still reeling from the effects of his kiss. Except of course, Jed's arousal nudging her belly. She had no trouble noticing that.

Who was she trying to fool? No one had ever made her feel the way Jed did, and she could easily believe no one ever would. She may be relatively inexperienced in the ways of love, but she knew enough to realize the sparks she felt flying between them had to be unique.

"You are no gentleman,” she murmured, tipping her face to his for another kiss.

"And I don't reckon I ever will be,” Jed replied, obliging her.

Caite laid her head gently against his chest for a moment, enjoying the sound of his heart beating through the homespun cloth of his shirt. She felt so right in his arms, so safe. She sighed. Love certainly was a confusing emotion. From anger to ecstasy in the span of a few minutes ... it was enough to make her head spin. And yet, her fury had been fueled by knowing she'd fallen in love with him. She shook her her head and gave a little chuckle at her foolishness. Loving Jed would always be like galloping on a runaway horse, but she guessed she wouldn't have it any other way.

"Isn't there something you'd like to tell me?” She asked playfully. The words ‘I love you’ rose to her lips, but faded away when she saw the puzzled look on his face.

"Like what?"

Caite turned her face to Jed's again. Her stomach had begun to drop to her toes. A sickening suspicion filled her. Had she gone and made a fool of herself for him ... again?

"Like why you want to marry me?” She moved out of his embrace.

"There are lots of reasons to get hitched,” Jed hedged. Supreme discomfort had become apparent all over his face.

"Such as?” She wanted to sit down before she fell down, but she refused to allow her knees to bend. She might have to hear him break her heart again, but she would do it standing proudly.

"You're a good match at checkers,” Jed said. If he was trying to make a joke—and Caite was not certain he was—he had failed. Miserably.

"And that is a reason to marry someone?"

"Well, you're a good match in bed, too."

At the callousness of his comment, the air pressed from her lungs in a soundless wheeze. She was chilled despite the day's heat. She was paralyzed by her own stupidity. She had been a fool again and again for this man. When would she learn her lesson?

"That is all?” Those are your only reasons, those and your damnable duty?” she asked, not certain she had managed to speak aloud until he answered her.

"Look, Caite,” Jed said, taking both her hands gently in his. “I can't promise to love you forever. I can't promise you that. But I can promise you're the only woman I'm making love to. I can promise you're the one I'll come home to every night. I can promise to provide for you and our babies. That's what I can promise. Isn't that good enough?"

Caite carefully removed her hands from his grasp. “No, Jed, it is not."

"Why not, Caitleen?” She might have thought he were pleading, had she not known the truth of his heart.

Because I want hearts and roses and love songs, she wanted to scream.
I want dancing in bare feet under the stars while the babies sleep. I want laughter in the summer rain. I want warm feet next to mine and warm arms around me on winter nights. I want to be loved!

She had escaped being forced to wed a scoundrel, and she'd escaped one loveless marriage by pure fate. She wasn't about to force herself into another one now.

"I told you before,” she replied quietly. “If I have to explain the reasons why, then you just do not understand."

His jaw tightened and his lips thinned into a grim line. Wordlessly, as if he were too disgusted to talk, he made a slight pushing gesture with his hands.

As if he were shoving her away from him, she realized.

Then he turned on his heel and strode toward the barn, out of her sight.

For a moment, Caite allowed herself the support of the hand rail, but only a moment. There's one thing to be said for constant turmoil in one's life, she thought with grim humor. It got easier and easier to remain standing when she felt like falling down.

"Caite? Are you ready to come back inside?” Sally stood framed in the doorway.

"Yes, I am,” Caite stammered, flushing
. How long had Sally been standing there? How much had she seen?

"Where is Jed?"

Caite waved vaguely in the direction of the barn before mounting the porch steps. “He went off that way."

Sally's musical laughter filled the air. “I'm sure he'll be back when he smells your bread baking. I can hardly wait to taste it myself."

Caite smiled somewhat wanly. “Well, I'd best get started with it, then, had I not?"

Sally stepped aside to let Caite enter the house. “Are you all right, Caite?"

"Of course I am.” Caite forced herself to laugh. “Jed was just telling me about the new mare he started breaking."

As the two women headed through the front room and back the short hall to the kitchen, Caite decided Sally had not seen or heard any of the discussion with Jed. The other woman had seemed to accept Caite's lie without question, Caite was relieved to notice, and Sally did not question her any further.

"Well, missy, we been waiting on you!” Albert called good-naturedly from the kitchen as Caite and Sally entered. “My belly's been growling and my mouth's all set for your mama's bread."

It seemed like it had been years ago I promised Cooky to make Mother's recipe, Caite thought. Was it just this morning she had been sitting by the creek, waiting for Buck Peters to make her his wife? So much could change in just a few hours.

"If I get started now,” she told Cooky with a smile, “it'll be done in plenty of time to serve with dinner."

"It is glad I am,” Lorna put in from the sideboard, where she was tallying the household accounts. “I am so tired of Albert's biscuits, I am to be screaming!"

She had to duck as one of those same biscuits came flying at her head. As Caite laughed with the others, she marveled she could be feeling so happy despite everything that had happened that day. She was more determined than ever not to let Jed Peters upset her any more.

Love! Why did it always have to be love with these women?
From the lowliest barmaid to the snobbiest high-falutin’ Miss from Pennsylvania, they one and all wanted the same thing.

I tried love once, Jed thought sourly. He hadn't been very good at it. Sure, in bed and out, Trish had dutifully played the part of the devoted wife. But when had she ever said she loved him? He could have jumped through hoops of fire, and she would have just given him the same half-hearted smile. What he had felt for Patricia hadn't been the stuff that legends are made of or anything, but he had given her all he could. In return, he'd had the loneliest, coldest five years he could imagine. He wasn't about to head down that road again.

Besides, he had meant every word he said to Caite. He was willing to settle down and make her his wife, give her children and a home. What more did she need? A declaration of love wouldn't change any of those things. It wouldn't make him treat her any differently. No, saying he loved her would only be the ring through his nose. There he'd be, the mighty bull out in the pasture, being led around by the snout by some woman!