Read Living Life the Essex Way Online
Authors: Sam Faiers
Living Life the Essex Way (23 page)
I always notice when we’re filming that whereas me and Joey are always messing around, laughing, joking, and annoying everyone with our PDAs, Lucy and Mario just seem to sit there looking
a bit . . . well, the best word I can think of to describe it is blank. And that worries me. We will have to see if our friendship has survived me speaking out – I hope so, as I had her best
interests at heart, but now it is down to her.
Another friendship that has been in trouble and looks like it might never be fixed is my one with Amy. After I laid out my feelings in the earlier part of this book, I had hoped we would be able
to get things back on track. But instead Amy got quite defensive about it all, and kept bringing it up in her magazine column. Deep down I will always care about her, but then the way she behaved
over this summer I thought again showed a lack of concern for our friendship. Despite all the other brands and products she already has out, she decided to open up a clothes shop in Brentwood, and
I just felt like, come on Amy, stick to your beauty. I know we don’t own the rights to all clothes shops in the area, but we would never set up a beauty salon right on her doorstep. I
wouldn’t do that to her out of respect. And worst of all, she wasn’t the one to tell me about it – Billie and I had to find out through the grapevine. I really thought she should
have done me the respect of telling me about it to my face, but when I bumped into her at an event at the time it was happening, she just said, ‘Hello’ and that was it. No mention of
her shop. It’s like she was making it a big secret which is silly.
In contrast, to give Lucy her dues, she rang and told me when she was planning to open a clothes shop, and said she would stock different brands, and did I mind? I thought that was a nice thing
of Lucy to do and she has stuck to her word since. It is a shame Amy couldn’t have behaved more like that. It’s not like we have really fallen out, it’s just that we don’t
really talk any more. But as I say, we have too much history together for me not to want to be friends with her, it’s just hard at the moment. Not that her opening a shop has affected Minnies
in the slightest, though. No, we’re growing bigger than ever! We have gone international now, so our clothes are going to be stocked in shops in other countries. And we’re doing a range
called Little Mistress by Minnies which is out in November, and is a set of ten dresses, all kind of wintery and sparkly, perfect for the Christmas party season. As usual, Billie and I modelled the
clothes for it, which was fun.
I have been watching Mark’s career as well, to see how he gets on, as I do think he could be a success. Maybe not the next James Bond, but something successful all the same. His TV show,
Mark Wright’s Hollywood Nights
, was really funny to me. But I wonder if that’s because I know all the lads on it, and they were a good mix of people, so it really was like
watching a group of my mates being daft. I’m not sure the public got it in the same way I did, because they don’t know them.
I think it was too set up really – all these fixed scenarios. But I do think people are genuinely interested in what he gets up to, so a real fly-on-the-wall documentary would work better
I think. That is if Mark wants to take my advice on his TV career!
I haven’t seen him for a good while though. Not since I have been back with Joey, except for one random time we bumped into each other in a petrol station. Although I have a confession to
make – we did get back in touch after I split with TJ and before Joey and I were dating again. We spoke on the phone and texted a lot, and we went out for one date – for dinner. But
actually, we realised the chemistry had completely gone, there really was nothing there. So nothing sexual happened between us, it was just like hanging out with a mate. We have grown into
different people, and I wish him well and hope he is a good mate of mine for life, but I now know 100 per cent that a friend is all he ever will be.
I think Lauren still likes him though, no matter what she says. She told me they still speak and see each other, but that she isn’t feeling it. But I don’t believe that he
couldn’t get her back in a second if he wanted to. The problem with Mark is he was always embarrassed to be with her, and that is completely the wrong way to think about your girlfriend
– both for him and her.
Another messed up couple at the moment is Arg and Gemma. I love Gemma to bits and she has become a really good friend in the last year or so. And Arg, well he has been my mate for years, but I
do think he has got too big headed lately, and don’t think he’s right for her. I’m not sure what she sees in him – Gemma normally goes for older, gangster type guys . . .
and, well, that’s not Arg! But she obviously sees something in him that she likes, maybe it’s the arrogance? Whatever it is, though, she really does like him and I feel sorry for her
for that.
When we were in Marbella making the one-off episode earlier this summer, he showered her with loads of attention. But back in Essex he has been a dickhead to her. I have talked to him about it,
and one minute he says he likes her, the next he finds problems with it. I think he loves her, but as a friend, not a sexual partner. And unfortunately I think Gemma knows that, which is why
she’s always upset, as the whole thing is embarrassing and leaves her feeling like shit. But she still sticks it out because she likes him. Deep down Arg still loves Lydia – he will
probably never stop. Lydia loves him too, but is really into Tom at the minute – sometimes you need that person who helps you get over someone, and she has that with him.
Anyhow, sorry, I am off gossiping and giving all my theories on my
TOWIE
co-stars again. Their lives are interesting to me, and I am actually in the show, so who knows what it’s
like for you lot! All in all though, I am loving my job, my family, my true friends, and of course Joey at the minute, so long may it continue.
In Essex there are loads of words that we love using – some that you’ll hear all over the UK, and some that are pretty unique to us. And if we are ever short of a
word or a phrase . . . well, you can be sure to rely on someone like Joey Essex to make one up that will take off!
Here are my favourite ones:
Reem – We have Joey to thank for this one! He made it infamous through his ‘Look reem, smell reem, be reem’ catchphrase, but it really just means gorgeous or
really cool. My favourite way to use it is ‘Don’t be jel, be reem!’ if someone is getting on my nerves.
Shuuttup – The way you should always pronounce ‘shut up’. But not when you actually want someone to be quiet. Use it when you are shocked at what someone is
saying. So shutting up is actually the last thing you want them to do, as they are usually passing on a great piece of gossip!
Glamping – No true Essex girl wants to camp in the traditional way, getting muddy, sleeping on the floor in a cramped tent and leaving the heels and lashes at home. But
glam it up a bit with heeled wellies, designer tents and luxury extras, and suddenly it doesn’t seem like such a bad thing after all. It is definitely the only way to camp out at the
festivals over the summer!
Vajazzle – Not created by Amy Childs, but definitely made famous by her in the UK. See Chapter 2 for more details on this.
Well jel – Jel is a shortened version of jealous. And if you are very jealous, you are not just jel, you are well jel! A family friend of mine started this, then Billie
and I took it up, then Amy picked it up, then before you knew it, it became a
TOWIE
catchphrase.
Marbs – This one is pretty obvious – it’s a shortened version of Marbella. Using it probably means you are a regular there.
No Carbs Before Marbs – A saying created by Ellie Redman when she was running a diet class for Arg. It literally means, no carbohydrates before Marbella, but that’s
not so catchy, is it? It is a motivational saying for when you are getting in shape for your summer holiday.
Definitely – I always put this at the end of sentences when I’m agreeing with someone or emphasising a point. I guess I like to come across as very sure of
myself!
Oh my God, where do I start! This book has been amazing to put together, but as always, I’ve had a great team behind me. So these are all people I need to say thanks to .
. . Sorry if I forget anyone, it’s not on purpose!
Mum, as always you have been an absolute star. You are so strong for me and Billie, and are always there in the background doing everything from making Minnies decisions, to a cup of tea. Thank
you for always sticking by me. Love you.
Billie, you are the best sister, and the best friend! I know we will always be there for each other. Team Faiers
Thanks to Greg for looking after my sister, who I know can be a handful. We all call her Queen Bee!
Dad, we haven’t always had the easiest time of it, but you have always done your best for us and been my true dad. Thank you.
Thanks to Joey . . . Joey, we are stronger than ever. I love the support you give me, and when I’m down you always make me feel amazing. You’re the best! You even tell me I look
beautiful in the morning when I don’t.
To the rest of my family, Nanny and Grandad, Nanny Wendy, Grandad Mick, Great Nanny Margot, who is the eldest in our family and still going strong – still managing to look glam! Aunty
Libby, Aunty Sam, George, Harvey, Grace, Eva, love you all too!
To my manager and good friend, Adam Muddle – you’re the best. I couldn’t have done this without you. We’re a great team, and I know we have a lot more big plans for the
future . . . So bring it on!
Thanks to the best ghost-writer in showbiz, Emma Donnan, for all your hard work and patience. This book couldn’t have been done without you. All those hours in the car on the way to PAs
have paid off, not to mention the book bathing sessions on the beach in Dubai!
A big thank you to Carly Cook for believing in this book and being great to work with from moment one. And thanks too to the team at Simon & Schuster, including Emma Harrow, Jo Whitford,
Briony Gowlett, Abigail Bergstrom, Jon Stefani, Dawn Burnett and Lewis Csizmazia.
Thanks to Andrew Lownie for your expertise in the publishing world and for delivering the quickest deal possible in book history!
To my girls, Sarah, Ferne, Charlotte, Molly, Jerri, Kayleigh, Stacey, Gemma – we’ve had a lot of fun times together. Here’s to many more of them. Thanks too to my friends Gemma
Merna and Ian Minton.
Jeff Mehmet, thanks for all your styling and friendship, you have been amazing. Thanks to Lisa Harris and Johannah Dalemo for your fantastic hair and make-up, and Mark Hayhurst for doing my
hair, holding my bag and my coats! Polly, you’re always there when I need you. Claire Tipler, you are the most loyal nail technician ever, and give me amazing toes and fingers –
thanks!
To my Minnies girls, Auntie Sam, Sue, Lyn, Nicola, Davina, Chloe, Alison and Charlotte, the shop wouldn’t be what it is without you, so thanks for all your hard work. And Mum and Libby,
your seven-day weeks are incredible. You’re all great.
Thanks to Liam Harris and Stephanie Hermann at AM Concepts, for your hard work and energy.
Thanks also to Ian and Dave at Peace of Mind Ltd – I know I can rely on you to always have my back! Robin Kennedy at Cruise Pictures – you are a snapper extraordinaire!
All the magazines and newspapers that have supported me – I have really appreciated it.
Gary Smith and Ben Webster at ITV Press Office, you have been a great part of the
TOWIE
press family.
And of course thanks to the team on
TOWIE
and at Lime Pictures, Shirley, Gyles, Phil, Mike, Jenna, Laura, Dani, Mark McQueen and all of the other crew. Sorry I couldn’t mention
you all individually, I love you all – you gave me my break, and I won’t forget it!
Welcome to the family new addition baby Teddy, we are so excited to see you grow up.
2. I was a natural poser for the camera from a very young age, and loved dressing up.
4. Mum and I have always been close. She puts me and Billie first – we are a great family!
5. Of all the places we chose to pose for a photo in Year 7, we chose the toilets . . .
6. Me and Lucy hitting the shops on one of our many Saturday shopping trips.
7. Me and Lucy loved the photo booth in the Post Office on Brentwood High Street when we were 12.
9. On a school trip to Norfolk when we were 13, clearly thinking we were cool!
10. Amy and Billie at Billie’s eighteenth birthday party round at our house.