Lily’s War (22 page)

They chimed hello in unison then resumed their conversation, which appeared to be about swollen ankles, heartburn, a strange ache under the bump and the peculiar movements of their expected offspring.

Lily sat on a patch of grass in the sun, feeling excluded, but after a minute or so she stopped listening to a conversation which she found boring and thought of Matt. What else could she do to find him? Should she get in touch with the police? After what Joy had said about people disappearing it seemed pointless. Did she really believe Matt wanted to get away from Lily? The thought made her feel wretched.

A cup of tea was placed on the grass in front of her. ‘You aren’t hungry, are you?’ asked Joy.

Lily was but the way the question was asked caused her to answer in the negative. She could not understand Joy’s changed attitude to her. Maybe it was because of the baby? Or possibly she found Lily’s presence an embarrassment in the circumstances? It had not slipped her notice that Joy had not introduced her as Matt’s wife to the other women. She looked at them, immersed in their gossip, and was irritated. This was her husband’s house and garden and she might as well not have been there. She drained her cup and rose to her feet.

Joy looked across at her. ‘Where are you going?’

‘A walk.’

Joy looked relieved. ‘A walk’ll do you good. I’ll do us some supper later.’

‘I can do it myself, thanks. I don’t want to cause you any bother.’ She nodded to the other women and left them to their baby talk.

As Lily walked along the harbourside she gave serious thought to the possibility of Matt’s having gone walkabout to get away from her but came to the conclusion it did not make sense. He had wanted her with him. She found herself going over and over the same ground she had covered that night in Cairns. Could he have gone off with Rob’s sister? If he had, then he was a hypocrite and not the man she had believed him but what her Aunt Dora might have called ‘A right swine!’ Can a person be two different people? Can they change that much? She closed her eyes and relived moments she and Matt had spent together, remembering him saying, ‘You’re wonderful, Lily, don’t ever let life sour you.’ Had life suddenly turned sour on him when she had not turned up? She gazed over the harbour and remembered the last time she had seen his aunt. There had been no doubt in Jane’s mind that her nephew was as special as her brother Davy had been. Matt had been so good with her, kind and generous. Something stirred in the recesses of her mind.

‘Lily!’

Her thoughts had been so fixed on Matt that for a moment she was convinced it was his voice she heard but when she turned it was Rob Fraser. A sigh escaped her. ‘How did you find me? I hoped I’d seen the last of you.’

He grinned. ‘Honest to God?’ It was an expression the children had used in Liverpool and suddenly she was overwhelmed by that painful longing to be with her family. Tears filled her eyes.

‘What is it, mate? Are you feeling crook?’ His expression was sympathetic for once.

‘I want to go home,’ she whispered.

‘You mean England?’

‘Yes! I want my family.’ There was a catch in her voice. ‘I’ve still got money my uncle gave me, it’ll get me home.’

He shook his head. ‘You can’t do that, mate. You’re not a quitter. We’ll find them and then I’ll sort him out. You’ll be better rid of him.’

Something snapped inside her. ‘You still believe you’re bloody right, don’t you? Matt wouldn’t! He couldn’t!’

Rob’s expression hardened. ‘If you believe that, what are you getting so worked up about? But let’s try proving you’re right and carry on looking for him. We could try where my brothers looked in the first place.’

Lily pulled herself together. ‘And where’s that?’

‘Broken Hill.’

She stared at him. ‘Isn’t that a silver-mining town?’

‘Sure is! Stuck flat bang in the middle of nowhere. It’s rugged, hard country and it’ll take us days getting there.’

‘Hot and dry, I suppose?’

‘You’ve got it.’

Lily frowned. The thought of being stuck on a train, travelling through flat, featureless scenery that seemed to go on for ever and ever, in the heat depressed her, but the name Broken Hill had struck a chord. ‘Are you thinking of going straight away?’

‘You aiming on coming with me?’

She did not hesitate. ‘No. I’ll make my own way.’

He pursed his mouth and shook his dark head. ‘You’re better having company. A woman alone is fair game.’

‘I already know that,’ she said with a touch of acid.

A grin widened his mouth. ‘I’d be a perfect gentleman.’

She looked disbelieving. ‘I need time to think about it and I could also do with a few nights’ sleep in a proper bed.’

‘I don’t want to hang around the city too long,’ he said, hands in pockets. ‘Makes me feel hemmed in.

‘You don’t have to. As I said, I can go it alone.’ She walked away.

It was not until Lily arrived back at the house that she remembered Joy’s unwelcoming attitude, but the other woman was all smiles when she opened the door and had supper ready. When Lily mentioned she was thinking of going to Broken Hill, having remembered Matt speaking of the place in a letter, Joy could not have been more helpful. When Lily mentioned not fancying a long journey by train again, she said in the nicest possible way, ‘You don’t have to go all that way by train. By far the easiest way would be by coastal steamer to Adelaide and up by train from there. It might take you longer but it would be a nice break. You’re looking tired and you could stay there a few days. Pete and Matt have this elderly lady they keep in touch with who now lives in Adelaide. She was the school matron or some such thing. She’d probably be happy to put you up for a couple of nights. I’ll give you her address.’

Lily had the feeling she was being got rid off but she was glad to go. This way it would be easier going it alone and she would tell Rob so if he was still in Sydney.

He was. She discovered him standing across the street from the house the next morning, and when told of her plan, he said, ‘Never been on a seagoing ship before, only on a paddle steamer up the Darling.’

‘You’re not coming with me,’ she said firmly.

‘Be an experience.’ He smiled.

Lily hoped he didn’t have shipboard romance on his mind. They left a week or so later on a cargo boat. Rob was having to work his passage, much to Lily’s relief. She guessed he would be hard to handle if he had too much time on his hands. As it was she saw nothing of him for days because she was terribly seasick. The much smaller cargo boat rode the waves very differently from a large liner and it wasn’t until they had entered the Bass Strait that Lily begin to feel her normal self again.

The ship carried two other passengers, a retired British couple who had lived on a tea plantation in Ceylon and loved to travel. They were standing at the rail with Lily and Rob, telling them they had been informed they might see whales as the ship forged along the south coast of Australia.

‘My brother once went aboard a whaling factory ship in Liverpool,’ said Lily, grimacing. ‘He said it smelt awful.’

‘Killing the southern right whale has been outlawed now,’ said the husband, nodding ponderously. ‘The female used to come into the bays to calve and too many of them have been killed off.’

‘Easy pickings,’ said Rob, and, before anyone could say another word, seized Lily’s hand and dragged her away. ‘Let’s walk along the decks I scrubbed this morning.’

‘That was rude,’ she hissed. ‘They’re nice people. Interesting.’

‘They’re bores.’ He frowned. ‘And I don’t aim on being stuck with them every evening when I can spend time alone with you.’

She smiled. ‘You’re getting bored? Isn’t being a sailor to your taste? You shouldn’t have come.’

He pulled her close. ‘I wouldn’t be bored if you weren’t so standoffish.’

Lily was aware of the strength in the arms around her. ‘I need a strong man!’ said a voice in her head. She remembered saying that to Matt, who seemd to believe there were different kinds of strength. She attempted to push Rob away. ‘You’re forgetting why we’re here – and you never did tell me much about this sister of yours. What’s her name? I’ve forgotten it.’

‘Liar! It’s Abby and she’s now seventeen. Her birthday was a month ago. She’s tall, brown-haired, and I suppose you could say nice-looking.’ He pulled Lily back against him so that her nose was pressed into the hollow of his collarbone and her breasts were squashed against his chest.

‘You’re holding me too tight,’ she said, struggling.

‘Can’t be tight enough for me but you can wriggle as much as you like, I enjoy it.’ He grinned down at her.

She controlled her impatience. ‘Rob, you’re hurting me. Let me go!’

‘Say please.’

‘Please let me go.’

He released her, only to slip an arm round her shoulders. ‘You wanted to know about Abby.’

‘Yes.’ She breathed a sigh of relief. ‘I suppose she was spoilt, the only girl after five boys?’

‘Naw! Ma wanted a girl but that’s because she wanted help in the house.’

‘Figures,’ murmured Lily.

He smiled. ‘You said you could cook. Come and stay with us if we don’t find them. Best time of year outback, not blistering hot and I can show you all over our place. We could camp out, be all alone.’

Lily laughed. He really was quite blatant. ‘You mean be a domestic slave like your sister was? No thanks! And besides, I don’t think camping out would be very sensible – like your putting your arm round me isn’t.’

‘Look at that sunset, Lily, and don’t talk to me about what’s sensible.’ He drew her against him and this time he kissed her with that same determination he had shown in Cairns. She stiffened, just as determined not to respond. When he did eventually release her she left him without a word and went to her cabin. It had been a mistake travelling with him and from now on she was going to stay out of his way.

It proved difficult, because whenever their paths crossed he told her she was fighting a losing battle and forced her into his arms. Why not give in and admit the attraction between them? Matt had done the dirty on her, shouldn’t she do the same? She told him to go to hell which did not amuse him.

Lily determined when she left the ship and Adelaide it would definitely not be in his company. It should be easy enough. She had not told him about Miss Morell so reckoned he would look for her in the hotels and guesthouses and, drawing a blank, hopefully go on his way without her.

Adelaide felt English in a way that Sydney did not. It was smaller and lacked the hustle-bustle feel of a big city. The streets were neatly laid out and the buildings had a gracious air to them, being built solidly of stone. Miss Morell lived in North Adelaide. On asking a passer-by the way, Lily was directed to go through the park and told she couldn’t miss it.

Miss Morell turned out to be a tall, well-padded woman of sixty with a definitely maternal air about her. So much so that Lily told her Matt was missing and it was months since she had heard from him. Had she any idea where he could be? Miss Morell was to prove more informative than Lily had reckoned on.

‘Matt was here a while ago. Told me he had an English wife.’

Lily leaned forward eagerly, placing her teacup on an occasional table. ‘I take it he was alone?’

‘Certainly he was alone … said he was missing you.’

‘Did he say where he was going next?’

‘Broken Hill. Always had a soft spot for miners did Matt. Then he was going to sheep country. He was hoping you’d join him there.’ She stared pensively at Lily. ‘We also talked about New Guinea?’

‘New Guinea?’ Lily was confounded as well as confused. ‘Isn’t that an island up off the north-west coast of Queensland?’

‘That’s right. One of the brothers is doing missionary work in Papua. We were discussing it.’

Lily was silent, wondering if that information meant anything.

Miss Morell eyed her keenly. ‘Letters do go missing and take so damn’ well long getting places,’ she murmured. ‘What are you going to do?’

‘I was going to go to Broken Hill but if he was on his way there when he called here, it’s unlikely he’d still be there.’ She frowned. ‘You’ve known Matt longer than I have. What do you think could have happened to him?’ Even to this woman who knew Matt well, she could not mention Abby.

Miss Morell filled their teacups. ‘If something was bothering him he would want to be alone to think and pray. Marriage, I believe, makes new demands on people.’

‘You mean he really could have gone walkabout?’ she said stiffly.

Miss Morell smiled. ‘He could have. But why don’t you try the missionary society he was with when he went to India? He has married friends there he might have spoken to.’

Lily nodded but was remembering only too well the dash up to Queensland where Matt had supposedly gone to see a friend and talk. She just did not want to explain to someone else she was seeking the husband she had travelled across half the world to join and who seemingly had deserted her. She had some pride. Pain, razor sharp, cut into her. How could Matt do this to her? She thanked Miss Morell for her help and left.

It was not until Lily was walking through the park that she remembered she had planned on asking Miss Morell if she could stay but going back was the last thing she wanted to do now. There seemed little point. She would find somewhere else.

She had only been registered at the small hotel not far from King William Street a short while when Rob found her. ‘You could have waited for me,’ he murmured as he sat across the table from her.

‘I was trying to get rid of you,’ she said, moodily stirring her soup.

He did not appear to have heard her. ‘You look crook. What’s happened?’

‘Matt’s been here and probably went to Broken Hill months ago. I don’t believe he was ever with your sister. I think he’s gone off somewhere alone.’

Rob pursed his mouth. ‘I don’t believe that!’

‘I knew you wouldn’t.’ She glanced at him from beneath her eyelashes and broke a bread roll in half. ‘I think you’ve got to accept you’ve made a mistake. Your sister probably left to see a bit more of life than that found on a sheep station.’

‘She had a good life at home!’ His tone was sullen. ‘Never wanted for anything. She and Ma only had to ask for a new stove, new dishes, new frock, anything, and it was theirs whatever the cost of having it delivered. She’d have had to find herself a paid job in the city and from what I’ve heard they ain’t that easy to come by.’