Lily Alone (26 page)

It was so wonderful to see her, brown all over, her hair really blonde, looking lovely in a new bright pink T-shirt and white jeans.

‘Mum!' we all shouted. She hugged Pixie and Baxter and me and then put her head down beside Bliss.

‘My poor baby,' she said, cradling her. ‘Don't you worry, Mum's here.'

‘How did you know where we were, Mum?' I whispered.

‘The police came knocking at my door. I was panicking anyway, wondering where you kids had got to, and then they said you'd all been taken off to hospital. My God, the shock! What were you playing at, eh?'

‘Don't be cross, Mum,' said Baxter.

‘I'm not cross, baby. I just want you all safe and sound back home – especially my poor little Bliss.'

I felt so weak with relief I had to lean against the wall. Mum was back and now no one need know she'd ever gone away. Bliss would get better and we'd all go back to normal, Mum and us kids at home.

I could tell it like that. I'm good at making things up. I could pretend it until it seemed as if it really happened that way.

I don't want to write the truth. There were two policeman poking their heads into our crammed-f cubicle. There was an older one with a red face and grey curly hair and a younger one with fair hair and kind brown eyes.

‘Come on, Kate, you've seen your kids. You need to come with us now,' said the older one.

‘Are you completely bleeding heartless? I can't leave them now! Look at my little Bliss. Please, I'm begging you, let me stay with her while she gets her head and leg sorted. You don't have to stay here. I swear I'm not going to do a runner. Please, this is killing me,' Mum said, tears pouring down her cheeks.

‘You can turn on the waterworks for all you're worth, Kate, but I've been in this job too long to be affected,' said the older one.

‘Haven't you got kids? I need to stay here for
their
sake. Oh please, please.'

‘I'll stay with her,' said the younger one, looking at his watch. ‘I'm off duty at two anyway. I'll bring her in myself, no worries.'

‘Oh, you're an angel,' said Mum.

‘No, you're a sentimental fool. OK, you deal with her –
and
sort out all the social worker stuff. I'm off for my grub.'

So the young policeman waited while they took Bliss away to fix her leg. He took a chair and sat just outside the curtain to give us a bit of privacy. Mum sat on the bed with Pixie and Baxter on her lap. I squashed up beside them, rubbing my head against Mum's soft shiny hair and brown neck, breathing in her warm powdery smell.

‘My babies,' Mum said, holding us close. She gave us all butterfly kisses, stroking our hair. ‘I love you so. You know that, don't you?'

‘We love you too, Mum,' I whispered. ‘I'm so sorry I didn't look after Bliss better.'

‘You did just fine, lovey. You were a bit mental going off to that park like that, but it doesn't matter now,' Mum said wearily.

‘I can't believe you're really here, Mum.'

‘I said I'd be back at the weekend, silly. I got the first flight back this morning.'

‘Did Gordon come too?'

‘No, he's staying over there. It's where his job is, I told you. And I don't blame him, it's like a little bit of heaven – and the sun! Oh my God, look at the colour of me. I've never been so tanned in my life.'

‘Do you still love him, Mum?'

‘Well, yes, of course I do, I'm crazy about him. Those first few days, well, it was just fantastic – but then he found a photo of you kids. I had it in the back of my purse and he asked who you were and so I thought, blow it, let's tell him. He might be thrilled to have a ready-made family, and you're lovely-looking kids, especially Pixie – but it freaked him out and then he went all holier-than-thou. He pretended he didn't mind the fact that I had kids and was a bit older than he thought. He said he couldn't stand it that I'd lied to him. Honestly, he really got on my nerves then so I said stuff too. I walked out last night – actually, stormed off, you know what I'm like – but then I felt a right idiot because I didn't have enough cash for the flight home.'

Mum lowered her voice, nodding towards the policeman's legs showing beneath the curtain. ‘There's been a bit of a problem with my credit card. I think they've blocked it now,' she mouthed. ‘Anyway, Gordon came looking for me and acted like Lord Muck, doling me out some dosh, making me feel like dirt. Still, he did come out with me to the airport and he said he'd keep in touch – but I think he was the one lying then.'

‘I'm sorry, Mum.'

‘Oh well. I'm just not lucky in love, am I?
Especially
not with that piece of rubbish, Mikey. Did he just walk out on you kids? Where
is
he?'

‘He's in Scotland on a job, Mum. He never came.'

‘
What
? Well, we'll tell that to that policeman lurking there. They want to pin all sorts of rubbish on me – child neglect, abandonment, whatever. I kept telling them till I was blue in the face that I'd never walk out on you kids. If I was that sort of mother, would I be frantic about my poor little Bliss? She's been gone
ages
– what do you think they're
doing
to her?'

Bliss came back at last, lying very still with her eyes closed, Headless tucked under her chin. Her leg was plastered bright blue, just as they'd promised.

‘Bliss?' said Mum. ‘Oh, Bliss, baby, are you all right? Open your eyes and talk to Mummy, come on.'

‘She'll be very groggy for a few hours yet,' said the nurse.

‘I haven't
got
a few hours,' said Mum. ‘I'm going to be whipped off down the nick. Come on, Bliss, wakey wakey, I need to know you're OK.'

She tickled Bliss's tiny neck. Bliss twitched and mumbled, ‘I'm OK, Mum,' without even opening her eyes.

‘There! Well, you be a good girl while you're in hospital, darling. And Baxter and Pixie, you be good too and do what Lily tells you. You're in charge, darling,' Mum said to me.

‘But, Mum—'

‘Don't worry, babe. It'll all get sorted out soon, I swear it will. Just look after the kids and make sure you all stick together,' said Mum.

‘Oh, Mum, don't! Don't go!' I said.

‘I don't
want
to go!' said Mum, hugging me.

The policeman put his head through the curtain.

‘I'm afraid I've got to take your mum away to answer a few questions – but don't worry, someone's coming to look after you. Come on, Kate. I've kept my word, you've seen the little one's safe and sound, all neatly stitched and plastered. We have to leave the moment the social worker finally arrives.'

‘No! Not
yet
. Look, give me a break. You've got it all wrong. It's their dad you want to be nicking, not me. Isn't that right, Lily?' Mum said desperately, clinging to Baxter and Pixie.

‘Yes, it's all his fault, he wouldn't look after us,' I gabbled. ‘Listen, you can't take our mum away. She's the best mum in the world. She didn't leave us, I swear she didn't.'

He nodded at me and said he understood how I felt, and he gave Baxter and Pixie some chocolate to stop them crying – but he wouldn't seem to take me seriously. Then a social worker came, breathless and in a rush, smelling all sweaty. She tried to prise Baxter and Pixie away from Mum. They started screaming and Mum did too.

‘No, don't! Mum didn't mean to leave us! Why won't you
listen
to me? She thought we were with Mikey. You
can't
take her away now. We need her, Bliss needs her,' I shouted, over and over, but it was useless.

Mum got dragged out of the hospital and we were left on our own.

‘It's mad! They're arresting Mum for leaving us – and yet they're forcing her to leave us now!'

‘Come on, Lily, calm down. You're frightening the others,' said the social worker. She had a funny accent and moles on her face like little mushrooms and I hated her. ‘It isn't just because your mum went off to Spain. They're making enquiries about credit card fraud.'

It was like a slap in the face, but she still couldn't shut me up.

‘They can't pin something like that on my mum. It's all her friend's fault, she gave it to her. My mum hasn't done anything!'

‘The police are just making enquiries, you know how it works. They'll get everything sorted out with your mum. And meanwhile I'm going to take you three off and give you something to eat and then see about finding you somewhere to stay tonight, if Mum's not back.'

‘We're staying here! We can't leave Bliss!'

‘You can't all camp at the hospital, there isn't room. The nurses will look after your little sister.'

‘I can't leave her! She gets so frightened. She needs me. She needs all of us,' I said. ‘We've got to stick together, Mum said.'

‘I'm afraid you've got to do what
I
say now. Kiss your sister goodbye and come along.'

I let Baxter say goodbye to Bliss first.

‘You tell those nurses I'll come and bash them up if they hurt you, my Bliss,' he whispered, patting the top of her head. ‘I love you.'

I lifted Pixie up onto the bed.

‘Love you, Bliss,' she said, and gave her a big kiss on the cheek.

‘And I love you too, my Bluebell Bliss. Don't you worry, I'll make sure we're together as soon as you come out of hospital. You're such a brave girl, braver than all of us put together. We'll see you very soon.'

Bliss reached out her hand and I twined my fingers in hers – but then I had to let her go. We were led away, Baxter, Pixie and me. The social worker took us to the hospital canteen and said we could choose anything we liked to eat. We were still so stunned she had to choose for us – fish and chips and peas. We couldn't eat properly, not even Baxter. We just chewed a few chips.

‘Eat up, possums,' said the social worker brightly, sipping her own coffee.

She got out her mobile phone and went and sat at a table by herself to make her calls.

‘Possums!' said Baxter. ‘She's stupid.'

‘Is she our mum now?' said Pixie.

‘No, of course not. We've got
our
mum, silly,' I said fiercely.

‘I want her back,' said Baxter.

‘I know. We'll get her back, you'll see.'

‘That lady's not looking. Shall we try to do a runner?' said Baxter.

‘Yeah, but I don't know where we could run
to
. Shh, Baxter, I want to hear what she's saying.'

I couldn't hear much.
Three kids, a fourth in hospital – emergency foster care – perhaps we'll have to split them up.

I stood up and went over to her. I grabbed her wrist.

‘You can't split us up,' I said. ‘We have to stay together. Put us anywhere, but we have to be the three of us, four when Bliss is better.'

‘I'm doing my best, Lily,' she said.

‘Can't we just go
home
? I can look after the kids. I've been doing it all week, it's what I always do.
Please
.'

She looked me straight in the eye.

‘I can't let you, Lily. I know you can look after the others, but it's not allowed. I'm sorry. I'm doing my best to find you a suitable place. It might be just for tonight, until we know what's happening about your mum. Don't look at me like that. I'm on your side.'

She did try – but she couldn't find anywhere that would take all of us. She found a place for Pixie first, a lady who took in babies. She didn't usually take anyone over five, but the social worker persuaded her to take Baxter as well.

‘Couldn't she take me too?' I begged. ‘I promise I won't be any trouble and I'll help look after the kids. They'll need me so. Pixie's only little, she still likes me to carry her – and Baxter can't bear to be without Bliss and he'll start acting up if he's not handled right.'

They wouldn't listen. I had to hug the kids and then leave them with this woman in a funny little house the other side of town. The baby lady picked them both up when they started crying, even though Baxter weighed a ton. She looked as if she'd be kind to them – but she was a
stranger
.

‘How can you think that lady can look after the kids better than me?' I wept, back in the car with the social worker.

‘I know you're wonderful looking after the children, Lily, but it's not your job. You're only eleven, you're just a child yourself. Now, let's try and get you sorted.'