The tingling sensation traveled all the way down her spine.
And scared her to death.
If Josiah wanted her not to be upset, he would stay away.
She couldn't keep from trembling, as if she were out on a bitterly cold night. “
Denki
for fixing the sink.”
Josiah took a deliberate step back. “If ever you need anything, I hope you know you can ask me.” The lines around his eyes softened, and he gave her a half smile. “I should go before my shirt dries and I have to pry it off.”
“
Jah
. Okay.”
They went back into the kitchen. Aunt Bitsy stood at the sink with her back to them, but she turned abruptly and leaned against the counter as if she were hiding something behind her. “Are you finally leaving, Josiah Yoder?”
Josiah tugged at his shirt and smiled. “I need a shower.”
Rose very nearly forgot herself and offered him a honey cookie as a thank-you for putting up with her foolishness. But then she remembered what Aunt Bitsy said about stray cats.
They come back if you feed them.
She'd be better off if he never came back again. Her heart did all sorts of dangerous leaps when Josiah Yoder was near, and he made her feel terrified and
ferhoodled
and discombobulated all at the same time.
Who needed that?
He opened the door and turned back.
“Ach
. I almost forgot the reason I came today. Keith Chidester says you take your hives to his sunflower patch to pollinate his flowers.”
Rose nodded.
“He says he's never had a better crop. It wonders me if you could bring some hives to my farm. My pumpkins are blooming.”
“We charge rent,” Aunt Bitsy said.
Rose frowned. “
Ach
, I'm sorry. It is too late in the season to move the hives. The bees would never find their way back.”
He looked as if his horse had died. “Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I had hoped . . .”
Again, she sensed that he wanted something from her, something more than beehives and pollination. She nibbled on her bottom lip. Why couldn't he leave well enough alone? For sure and certain, she'd end up disappointing him.
“Maybe we can bring them next year,” Rose said.
“Of course,” Josiah said, not acting enthusiastic about waiting. “Next year.” He suddenly brightened as if someone had turned a light on in his head. “You could come over and help me decide where the hives will go next year. And you could see the butterfly garden at the same time.”
“
Ach
. Yes. The butterfly garden,” Rose said, her heart already thumping against her ribs at that horrible possibility.
He tilted his head to catch her eye. “Okay then. We'll see you soon then? Sometime soon?”
She felt her face get warm. She didn't have the heart to tell him no to his face. He'd wilt like a plucked dandelion.
He didn't press her for an answer. Instead he flashed a smile, nodded to Aunt Bitsy, and closed the door behind him.
I don't know what you want from me, Josiah Yoder. I'm more frightened of your expectations than anything else.
She sighed. Things were so much easier without Josiah Yoder here trying to yank her out of her comfort zone.
Aunt Bitsy immediately rolled up her sleeves, picked up the bucket, and opened the cupboard below the sink.
“What are you doing?” Rose asked.
“Josiah Yoder wouldn't know the difference between a sink and a snake even if one bit him. The sink is still clogged. I'm going to fix it myself.”
“You should have told him. He would have kept trying.”
Aunt Bitsy swatted that suggestion away as she slid the bucket under the pipe. “We would have had a flood that even Noah would have envied. Besides, I didn't want to hurt his feelings.”
“Didn't want to hurt his feelings? Aunt Bitsy, you told him you weren't glad to see him.”
Aunt Bitsy grunted as she knelt down beside the open cupboard. “Well, I have to keep them humble or they get too confident. I don't like a boy who's too sure of himself. That's Luke Bontrager's problem.” She unscrewed the washer that Josiah had loosened and then the washer on the other end of the elbow-shaped pipe. The elbow piece fell into Aunt Bitsy's bucket. Aunt Bitsy got up and ran some tap water through the elbow-shaped pipe. Water splashed from the pipe into the bucket below. She took her yellow-gloved fingers, pulled a plastic fork covered with black scum out of the elbow pipe, and held it up for Rose to see. “We should watch Dan Kanagy very closely when he's in the kitchen. All sorts of things fly when that boy does dishes.”
She let water run down the sink into the bucket, then reattached the elbow pipe by tightening the washers. “Good as new,” she said, “and Josiah never needs to know. We wouldn't want him to think he got a soaking for nothing.” Aunt Bitsy snapped off her gloves and washed her hands at the now-unclogged sink. “Now, baby sister,” she said, wiping her hands. “We need to have a talk.”
Rose's heart sank. Aunt Bitsy only called her “baby sister” when it was serious. “About what?”
Aunt Bitsy motioned for Rose to sit at the table, and she pulled a chair out next to her. That close, Rose got a good look at the spider tattoo on her neck. Aunt Bitsy loved trying out temporary tattoos. The spider had a pink bow on its head and was smiling and waving. The tattoo was friendlier than Aunt Bitsy.
“When you came in here,” Aunt Bitsy said, “you looked like you'd seen a ghost. Or a zombie. But since you don't know what a zombie is, it was either you saw a ghost or Josiah did something to upset you. And if he upset you, I'm not afraid to give him a good look at my shotgun the next time he comes over.”
Of course Josiah had upset her. But he didn't deserve the shotgun. “He wants something from me.”
Aunt Bitsy narrowed her eyes. “What does he want?”
Rose's sigh went all the way down to her toes. “I don't know, but whatever it is, I'll be a disappointment like I always am.”
Aunt Bitsy pinched Rose's earlobe between her finger and thumb. “Baby sister, you have never, not for one day, been a disappointment.”
“I was in the honey house, and a strange boy passed by my window. I thought it was the one who had tried to burn it down. I couldn't even move I was so scared. Josiah chased after him and brought him back to the honey house. He was just cutting through our fields on the way home. I embarrassed myself because I was so frightened. Then I didn't dare walk back to the house by myself. I practically begged Josiah to come with me.”
“It's nothing to be ashamed of,” Aunt Bitsy said. “It was a frightening thing.”
“Are you frightened about the troublemaker, Aunt Bitsy?”
Aunt Bitsy shook her head. “I'm annoyed.”
A tear escaped from Rose's eye. “Everything frightens me. I can't even go to a gathering without one of my sisters. You all have to bend over backward because I'm too afraid to do anything.”
Aunt Bitsy frowned. “You've been through some hard stuff, baby sister. No one can fault you for being cautious.”
An ache grew in her heart. “All that hard stuff was my own doing, and there's nothing to keep it from happening again.”
“Not your parents' death, Rosie. That wasn't your fault.”
The ache in her chest spread to her arms and hands. She didn't remember much about her parents, but she remembered whose fault it was they had died. But not even Aunt Bitsy would know that. Especially not Aunt Bitsy. She'd never forgive Rose if she knew.
Aunt Bitsy's frown carved itself into her face. “Do you still blame yourself that La Wayne Zook went to prison?”
“I separated him from his family.”
“Believe me, baby sister, that was a
gute
thing.”
Rose's sisters, Lily and Poppy, practically tripped into the house, giggling like two schoolgirls. Of course they were giddy. They were both head-over-heels in love. Lily had been engaged for a month. Poppy had gotten engaged just last week.
Aunt Bitsy raised an eyebrow and leaned closer to Rose. “This is what comes of giving boys food. Giggles and more giggles.”
“Isn't it a beautiful day?” Poppy said as she waltzed into the house and set her basket on the island.
“It is if you want to feel cooked like a Thanksgiving turkey,” Aunt Bitsy said, standing and giving Lily and Poppy each a hug. “How were deliveries?”
Lily plopped herself in Aunt Bitsy's chair at the table. “The Yutzys want more tomatoes, and they said they'd take all our zucchini.”
Aunt Bitsy nudged Lily with her hip. Lily grinned, and Aunt Bitsy made a show of being quite put out that Lily had stolen her chair. She sat down on the other side of Rose. “We've got so much zucchini, I'm thinking of changing the name of our farm to Zucchini Flats. We should pay the Yutzys for taking it off our hands.”
Poppy brought four glasses to the table with her good hand and went back to the fridge for the milk. “I love zucchini. And it makes delicious bread.”
“Only if you're a rabbit,” Aunt Bitsy said.
“Luke loves Poppy's zucchini bread,” Lily said.
Aunt Bitsy grunted. “That boy is so crazy for Poppy, he'd eat sawdust if she fried it up.”
Poppy beamed like a heavy-duty flashlight. “He's so adorable, I'm going to burst.”
Aunt Bitsy scrunched her lips to one side of her face. “If you're going to burst, do it outside. I've already had to clean up one mess today.” She pointed her finger at Lily. “And Dan's not much better. He can't come over without bringing a gift. We'll have to build another house to make room for all his stuff.”
“He's trying to butter you up,” Lily said, pouring milk for the four of them.
Aunt Bitsy looked as if she'd sucked on a lemon. “Like a Thanksgiving turkey.”
“We saw Suvie Nelson in town,” Poppy said.
Rose's heart skipped a beat. Suvie was Josiah's sister.
“She needs a quart of honey. I told her we could deliver it tomorrow.” Poppy glanced at Rose before setting a plate of cookies on the table and sitting next to Lily. Rose didn't feel like eating. She felt guilty for not giving Josiah a cookie when she'd had the chance.
Ach, du lieva.
She was as selfish as she was weak.
“You're very quiet, Rosie,” Poppy said, handing her a cookie. “Is everything okay?” She frowned. “Have you been crying?”
“She had a little fright today,” Aunt Bitsy said. “Josiah Yoder came over.”
Rose could practically see Lily's and Poppy's ears perk up. Rose wanted to slide out of her chair and sink into the floorboards. She'd behaved like a child yet again, and her sisters would feel even more of an obligation to baby her.
“Josiah was here?” Lily smiled like it was Dan who had come instead of Josiah.
“And he scared you?” Poppy said, probably plotting revenge in her head. Poppy was always ready to defend her sisters.
Rose fidgeted with one of her
kapp
strings. “
Nae
. I mean,
jah
.”
Lily's brows inched together. “You know Josiah would never hurt you, don't you, Rose?”
Of course she knew. Josiah was one of the gentlest people Rose knew. “It wasn't really his fault. He wants something from me, and that makes me nervous. I wish he wouldn't come over.”
“Me too,” Aunt Bitsy said. “He caused a flood.”
“Maybe he wants to be your friend,” Lily said.
“Like as not, he wants to make me his project.” Rose sighed and propped her chin in her hand. “Everybody feels sorry for me. Josiah is nice, so he wants to protect me.”
Poppy smiled. “There's nothing wrong with that.”
“I don't want to be anybody's project.” She felt like she had a twenty-pound weight strapped around her neck. “I wish I were different. I wish I weren't afraid.”
Lily took a sip of milk. “It's okay that you're timid. It's one of the things we love about you. You're our Rosie. We wouldn't have you any other way. We don't mind watching out for you.”
“But wouldn't you rather not have to? Poppy broke her hand because I couldn't watch out for myself.”
Fire leaped into Poppy's eyes. “That wasn't your fault. You wouldn't have been able to punch Griff Simons hard enough to get him to let go. And you're too tenderhearted to have wanted to hurt him in the first place. I was happy to smack him in the mouth for you.”
“You don't give yourself enough credit,” Aunt Bitsy said. “You go to gatherings with your sisters. You ride the bus every week to the animal shelter.”
“Dorothy and Joann go with me. I'm not afraid of them. It's the boys that make me nervous.”
“You're fine around Dan and Luke, and Luke might be the most cantankerous person you'll ever meet,” Aunt Bitsy said.
Poppy's mouth fell open before she surrendered to a smile. “I know. That's why I love him so much.”
Poppy's enthusiasm for Luke coaxed a smile from Rose. “I was never afraid of Dan or Luke. I knew they loved my sisters. That was a good enough reason to love them back.”
Aunt Bitsy finished off her cookie. “If you want to overcome your fears, then you have to start doing things that scare you.”
“Like what?”
“Like talking to boys at gatherings,” Lily said. “Or baking a cake for Josiah.”
Aunt Bitsy shook her head vigorously. “Do not bake a cake for Josiah. He'll take it the wrong way and never leave us alone. I am partial to a dry kitchen.”