Leverage (Part Three) (Billionaire Romance) (7 page)

Some mistakes you don’t get to come back from.

Some mistakes you take to the grave as penance.

Julian
na had dropped a bomb on Miles and his first reaction hadn’t been good. He supposed if he’d been thinking clearly, he would’ve smothered his knee-jerk reaction but who would’ve expected for her to share what she had? Obviously, her decision had done a number on her self-esteem and he felt like a jerk for not being supportive.

Of course,
the newfound knowledge didn't do anything for his feelings about Boston — the guy was a total dick. So, by the next morning, he was determined to check up on Julianna no matter how things had ended at the beach.

He decide
d to forgo his usual morning swim and went straight to her bungalow. He knocked and waited patiently and when she didn't immediately answer the door he knocked again. Just about the time when he was going to give up, she opened the door and it was apparent why she hadn't been eager to answer. Her face was red and puffy and her eyes were bloodshot. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the poor girl had been crying all night. Although, something told him that her tears hadn’t been over him. “Can I come in?” he asked, concerned. “Are you okay?”

“
I'm not okay but that's not your problem. I'm not your project and you don't need to feel like you have to fix me. You made your feelings loud and clear yesterday.”

Time to pay the piper. “
I don't feel that way and I never have. I'll admit I was thrown for a loop yesterday but I’ve had some time to think about it and really, I don't give a shit what you've done in your past. You're a good person and that's all that matters. We all make mistakes. May I please come in?”

Julianna
hesitated and for a moment he was fairly certain she was going tell him to go away but she stepped aside so that he could enter. She closed the door and walked to the kitchen with slow fatigued movements. She grabbed an orange juice from the small fridge and cracked it open. “I'm not really the best company right now, Miles. Sorry but I'm a bit of a wreck.”

“
I can see that. Let me guess…Boston paid you a visit.” At her small nod, he swore under his breath. “Hasn't he done enough damage? What did he want now?”

She shook her head, tears immediately welling in he
r eyes. “We, uh, broke up. What I mean to say is that he released me from my contract. I'm free as a bird. A knocked up bird, but free nonetheless.”

“
So why do you look like the world has ended?” he asked.

“I don't know,” she cried, distressed. “
But I do feel like my world has ended. I feel as if all the love and joy just walked out of my life and I'll never, ever have another prospect of experiencing those things ever again. And it doesn't make any sense because he was a jerk and he was terrible to me and when I needed him the most he bailed. So I don't understand why I feel this way. If someone could explain to me why I'm such an idiot, I would love to hear it because honestly, I never want to go through this again.”

“You’re
not an idiot — you fell in love with him. Good bad or indifferent sometimes the heart wants what it wants. Why did he let you go?”

She
threw her hands up in confusion. “I don't know. One minute he's kissing me as if he loves me as much as I love him and the next minute he's crushing me under his feet. He doesn't make any sense. I
know
he loves me. I know in my bones. But he won't humble himself for one Goddamn minute and admit it! And I don't know what to do. For the first time in my life I have more money than I can ever possibly spend, my brother is in a state-of-the-art facility in New Zealand, and I can do whatever I want with my life. I could go back to school, I could start my own business, or I could just be a stay-at-home mom if I wanted to be. So why am I so damn miserable?”

“
Because none of that matters if the one person you wanted has left you behind.”

“
And you know what the worst part is?” She didn't wait for him to answer. “He is already fucking someone else! Yeah, that's what he came to tell me. Hey Julianna, it's been fun kicking it with you, but I'm bored and have already found someone to replace you. Thanks for the memories,
sayonara
!”

Not for the first time Miles believed B
oston needed a knuckle sandwich and he’d dearly love to feed it to him but he sensed there was something they were missing. “Maybe he just said that to push you away.” What the hell was he doing? Making excuses for Boston?
That’s some fucked up shit, Miles
. Who was he rooting for? He refocused and said, “Listen, the guy doesn’t deserve you. I know it’s hard to believe this now but someday you’re going to look back on this and be so grateful that he did you a solid by walking away because you're so much better than he is. You have a kind heart and a compassionate soul. People like Boston Kinkaid are users and takers and they don’t know how to give back. Sooner or later they use up the people in their lives. And you're too good for that. I hate to see you go through that bullshit with a dickwad like him.”

Julianna
wiped her eyes and stared at Miles. “I don't understand why you care. Yesterday after telling you what’d happened between me and Boston you couldn’t get away from me fast enough. I don't understand men. You all act like you've never done anything wrong or made a mistake or did something you are ashamed of. I'm sick of all this judgment.”

“
I'm sorry. I was wrong. It was a knee-jerk reaction and I don't know where it came from because I really don't care what you did in your past. All I care about is right now. I told you I would be your friend if that was all that was available. But it seems to me that Boston is out of the picture. And I can't say that I'm sorry.”

“
I'm having his baby. Doesn't that mean anything to you?” She gestured to her stomach. “I don't get a free and clear pass. Even if we’re not together I still have to parent with him.”

“
I understand that and I don't have a problem with you co-parenting with him as long as he doesn't get his hooks into you again.” Miles reached for her and when she didn't pull away, he knew he had a shot. “Julianna, we haven't known each other long but I would gladly spend my life getting to know everything about you. Can Boston say the same?”

“
I don't know what Boston would say or do because apparently I don't know the man at all,” she said. “And frankly, I don't know that I'm ready to just jump right into someone else's arms either. I have too much going through my head to even think about anything else in my love life. And to be honest, I'm still kind of pissed at you for not being supportive when I needed it. I took a huge risk in telling you my big secret and you did not react the way that I thought you were going to. So I don't know what to think right now.”

He figured that was fair. He cursed himself for being a stupid
clod. No matter what she'd told him he should’ve just accepted it with understanding. “You're right, I was an idiot. I don't know why I reacted that way. Like I said it was a knee-jerk reaction and I deeply regret it. All I can say is I'm sorry and show you with my actions that it’ll never happen again. Can you give me the chance to prove to you that I'm not like Boston?”

“
Miles, I already know you're not like Boston. I know that you're a good man who is kind and generous. I just need time to figure things out.”

He smiled. “
Honey, we’re on a beautiful Caribbean island. We've got nothing but time. For whatever you need, I'll be there for you.”

“
You shouldn't make promises that you don't know if you can keep,” she warned.

He held her gaze, no
t afraid to make this promise. “I give you my word. In my world, a man's word means something.”

Her gaz
e was reproachful as she said, “Stop being so good. I can't take it.”

He dared much but he
gently pulled her in his arms. “It's what you deserve so get used to it.”

She buried her face against his chest and he knew his heart was involved as much as he knew it wasn't wise but
Julianna needed him and he would do everything in his power to erase the pain Boston Kincade had inflicted.

That was a promise.

#

Boston arrived in California
and went directly to his office. In spite of the long flight and being exhausted both emotionally and physically all he wanted to do was bury himself in work. And if he was working, so was Richard. He was on autopilot, answering emails and sifting through mail when Richard walked in with a frown on his weathered face. “What are you doing here?” he asked, irritated and grumpy that Boston had roused him from his bed to come down to the office. “What couldn't have waited until the morning?”

“
I need you to set up an account for Julianna, one that I can monitor and have access to. Also, I need you to get her set up on the company benefits plan. And don't let them give you any bullshit about pre-existing conditions. I don't care what you have to pay to make it happen — just make sure she has good benefits. I don't want her going to some third world country medical clinic for her pregnancy needs.”

“
I take it you left her behind in the Caribbean,” Richard said dryly, surmising, “Things didn't go very smoothly?”

Bost
on ignored Richard's question. “I also want you to make sure that her brother’s needs are taken care of so she doesn't have to worry about it. I don't want her to have to worry about anything, do you hear me? I don't want her stressed.”

Richard sighed. “
I fail to see why this couldn't have waited until morning.”

Boston slam
med his fist down on the desk, his temper fraying. “Because I didn't want to wait until morning damn it! Just do it.”

Richard, unaffected by Boston's outburst,
leveled his gaze at his employer. “You know, you always had it in you but the last few years you’ve become a right asshole with a sense of entitlement some so far up your ass that you act like you're the king of England. Well, you're
not
the King of England, kid. You're the son of a man I deeply respected and called my friend but right now you're just a prick. It's no wonder she didn't want to come back with you. From where I'm standing, you don't deserve her.”

There's only one person in this world
who could ever talk to him that way without getting fired or ruined and it was Richard. But it hurt like a Sonofabitch hearing it just the same. And it pissed him off, even if it was all true. “I released her from her contract,” he said dully. “She is no longer obligated to me. I'm going to do my best to be a good co-parent with her.” Adding stiffly, “And I would appreciate it if you wouldn't bust my balls about it.”

“
Busting your balls is about the only thing that I find enjoyable these days. Besides, if anyone needed their balls busted it's you. You wonder why I stayed on when your dad died? It was because your dad asked me to look out for you. And so that's what I've been doing all the years but it’s occurred to me that I’ve failed your father because you’ve turned into an entitled jackass.”

“
Watch yourself, old man. No one is untouchable. Just because you were drinking buddies with my dad doesn't give you the right—“

“I
t gives me every right you rotten sonofabitch,” Richard shouted over the top of him. “You had a chance at real happiness. And you did something to fuck it all up. I pity you, Boston. Because somewhere along the line you lost track of what's truly important in life. That young woman is having your baby. And you love her. And yet, you did everything in your power to ruin every good thing in your life. What the hell is wrong with you? Are you so bored with life that you have to manufacture chaos?” He didn't wait for Boston to answer and just threw his hands up in disgust. “Forget about it. I don't care. You want to be a dumbass, be a dumbass on your own time. I'm going back to bed. Don't bug me with your petty bullshit until you get your head on straight.”

And then Richard left. He really didn't give a
shit what Boston thought and rightly so. Boston sank back into his chair and leaned back squeezing his eyes shut. What was he doing? One thing was for sure, even if he'd wanted to, there was no fixing what he’d broken. That was sort of the point, wasn't it? No going backward. And no showing weakness.

God, he hated himself so bad right now. Richard was right about one thing — he
had no business being at the office right now. Either he needed to go home and go to bed or find someplace to get raging drunk.

Well, he knew there was no way he was going to be able to face his bed — formerly
their
bed — not yet.

So getting drunk it is.

And there was one place he knew where he could drown his sorrows in complete anonymity with no questions asked.

Malvagio
.

Vince Buchanan just happen
ed to be awake at the ungodly hour of 4 AM when his cell phone went off. Laird, his friend and business partner, was on the other line. Frowning, he picked up. “What's up, Laird? This better be good because it is fucking early.”

“
It is early but you're still awake so what difference does it make?” Laird shot back, with a hint of laughter in his voice. The man found the humor in anything. “Why are you still up and not snuggled up to that hot wife of yours?”

“Couldn’t sleep
so I started working on the financials for that Swedish investor interested in the club and stop thinking about my hot wife. I’ve answered your question, now answer mine. What's going on? Problem at the club?”

“You could say that.
I've got a patron here who won’t leave. Ordinarily, I’d just toss him out and let him find his own way home but he’s a friend of yours and I figured I’d let you decide.” There was a minute pause and then Laird said, “It's Boston Kincaid. And he is a mess.”

Boston? Damn, he hadn't talked to Boston in years. But a
t one time they’d been tight. “All right, I'll come pick him up. Go put him up in the office.”

“You got it.”

Vince took great care not to wake Emma as he quickly dressed and left the house. Damn, Boston brought back memories. When you're rich and privileged you tend to hang with the same crowd. Boston had been just like the rest of them in some ways but totally different in others. In fact, Boston had been a bit of a goody-two-shoes. Vince had jokingly called him Jiminy Cricket though in later years he'd heard that Boston had changed. Something about a woman but he'd never gotten details. And now the guy was all fucked up and having a crisis it seemed. Well, if there was one thing Vince knew about it was heading into a tailspin, bent on destruction.

He let himself
in through the back door and bounded up the steps to the private office that now Laird occupied. Vince and Laird were business partners but he'd long since handed the day-to-day operations over to his friend because he was trying to lead a respectable life and hanging around a notorious, ultra private sex club wasn’t exactly conducive to remaining monogamous. Trying to was the operative word. He didn't sleep around — no one could compare to his Emma — but Malvagio was a habit that was hard to quit. Where else could someone enjoy the freak show of human nature without getting their hands dirty? Emma knew he wasn’t messing around but he always got that “look” when he told her was going to drop by the club. He understood why Emma hated the club — long story — which was why he was looking for a buyer but until then, he had to make sure things still ran smoothly. Opening the office door, he found a sloppy drunk Boston sprawled on the leather sofa mumbling to himself and intermittently shouting to no one. He looked to Laird with an amused smirk. “Damn, you weren’t lying. He's all fucked up.” Then he gestured to the prone man. “Gimme a hand putting him in the car.”

Laird
nodded and the two hefted the man's dead weight, grunting with the effort. “Dude could stand to lose a few pounds,” Laird grunted. “Lay off the carbs, you know what I mean?”

“
Let's just get him into the car,” Vince said as they practically dragged Boston out of the club. Once buckled into the passenger seat Boston groaned and mumbled a name but it was nearly unintelligible. It was going to be a long night.

“
When did he arrive at the club?” Vince asked.

“A
ccording to the stub, he got there around 11 p.m. and he started drinking the minute he walked through the door.”

“Did he come alone?”

“Yeah and he wasn't interested in any of the girls either. It seemed as if he just wanted to get pissed drunk and nothing else mattered.”

“
That doesn't sound like Boston. Not the Boston that I used to know anyway. You did good in calling me. Thanks a lot man.”

“You got it,”
Laird said and waved goodbye.

Vince climbed into the car and instead of driving to his house
went to the penthouse. Now that Penny lived with Dillon, the penthouse was empty. And thank God the penthouse had an elevator. There was no way in hell he was gonna be able to drag Boston's heavy ass all the way up the stairs. He heaved Boston onto the bed and then left him there, alternately snoring and mumbling. “Sleep it off, buddy,” he said, locking the door as he let himself out. He’d be back in the morning to see what the hell crawled up Boston’s ass.

The next morning Boston awoke to the mother of all hangovers, the need to vomit, and the realization that he didn’t remember anything past a certain point last night. Oh, and he had no fucking idea where he was.
He rose, stiff from sleeping in his clothes, and stumbled from the bedroom to find his old buddy Vince Buchanan sitting in the living room, reading on his iPad while sipping coffee. It took him a few seconds to realize it was Vince who must’ve brought him here.

Vince looked up and grinned. “
You look like shit.”

“Feel like it, too.
Where am I?” Boston asked, wincing at the sunlight streaming in through the windows. “Is this your place?”

“
One of them. You're at the penthouse. There was no way I was dragging your drunk ass home to my wife. She would've fileted you and me alive. So what’s going on?”

Boston closed his
eyes. He didn’t want to remember. Vince sighed and put his iPad away. “All right, what's her name?" he asked, going straight to the point. “Don't bother denying it. I’ve been through this before in my own life and I recognize the misery. Only a woman can make a man look like you do.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, feeling like squashed dog shit.

Vince shook his head. “Naw, after dragging your ass out of my club, the least I can do is get a name out of you.”

He supposed he owed Vince that. “
Julianna,” he shared, wincing at even saying her name. “Julianna Holly.”

“Nice name. What's the story?”

“C’mon man, cut me some slack. I don't want to talk about it."

“
Too bad. You have to know that whatever you're running from isn’t going to get better if you don’t face it.”

Boston gave him a sour look. “
And suddenly you're an expert on love? The man who owns a sex club? Give me a break.”

“
That was the old Vince. The new Vince is a respectable monogamous guy. Who just happens to own part of a sex club.” He shrugged when Boston rolled his eyes. “It's an important distinction.”

“Whatever.”
Boston walked on stiff legs to pour himself a cup of coffee. “Look, I appreciate you going to get me. I didn't mean to get so drunk but I just couldn't seem to stop. Honestly, the idea of going back to my place was more than I could handle so I just kept drinking.”

“
Hey, I get it. So, tell me the story. Let it all out. That's the only way it's going to get better.”

He b
arked a short mirthless laugh. “There's no making this better. She's never coming back and I planned it that way.”

“Let me guess…y
ou said or did something really terrible so that you couldn’t take it back.”

Boston scowled. “Yeah, and what if I did?”

“Then I would say you're not brilliant dude. And you sure as hell aren’t original. We've all done that shit. But if she's worth it and you love her, you will find a way to make it right. Let me tell you something — life without love isn’t worth living. I was living a half-life before I met Emma. And I wouldn't trade what I have with her for all the pussy in the world. And that's a fact.”

“You don’t understand. I
t's a mess. I've messed it up so bad. And by the time I realized what I really wanted I’d fucked it up so bad there was no way I could go back.”

“
Trust me, there is nothing that can't be fixed. Unless you inadvertently killed her parents or you accidentally set her house on fire, I know there's nothing that can't be fixed.”

“
I did something really disgusting.”

“
I'm sure it's nothing I haven't done — twice,” Vince said, bored. “What could you have done that was so bad? For Christ sakes we used to call you Jiminy Cricket. Have you changed that much since we were kids?”

“
Let's just say I could've used a little of that conscience when I met Julianna. I don't know what came over me. All I knew was I had to have her and I struck a deal that I'm ashamed to admit.”

“What kind of deal?” Vince
asked, curious. “You’ve got my mind spinning. What did you do?”

“I bought her.”

Vince did a double take and then, if Boston wasn’t mistaken, tried to hold back a grin, which Boston found really inappropriate.

“
What's so funny?” he demanded.

Vince held up his hands. “
Nothing although it is a bit ironic.”

“
I have a fucking hangover and zero sense of humor. What are you talking about? There's nothing ironic about my situation. It's just fucked up.”

“
It is totally fucked up, I agree with you. The irony is that I've done the very thing that you've done. Makes me wonder if it was something that we've all done. Weird. I'm thinking people with money are just, I don’t know, warped. At least that's what Emma says. And I'm beginning to agree with her.”

“What are you talking about?”

Vince heaved a sigh. “Here's the thing, there was a woman, actually she's my sister-in-law now, long story, Nolan and I bought her for lack of a better word. We thought she could be our mistress of sorts. Sort of like a courtesan. Then Dillon came along and found out about our arrangement and it all went to hell because frankly, it was illegal anyway and you really can't help with who you fall in love with. So Penny and Dillon ran off and got married then had a baby and they're happy as clams and then Nolan inadvertently got a woman pregnant and they got married so they’re happy as clams and then I met Emma, and well, that's a really long story condensed in the most convoluted way. Any questions?”

Boston stared.
“Now wait a minute, are you saying you slept with your sister-in-law?” he asked, confused. To that Vince nodded and Boston grimaced. “How awkward does that make Christmas dinner?”

“
You know it's not awkward at all because we don't talk about it. It's in the past and we don’t live in the past because our futures are pretty damn awesome. And that's kinda the point I'm getting to right now. If you’ve done a lot of crappy stuff in the past, leave it there so you can provide for your future. I never thought I would say this but being monogamous with the right person is pretty damn awesome. And the sex… pretty damn awesome, too.”

“You?”
Boston's tone was incredulous. “The biggest man whore I’ve ever known in my entire life…endorsing
monogamy
?”

“
Hey, don't stereotype me. I was a manwhore until I found there were something better. And now I would rate breakfast in bed with my wife as just as awesome as a foursome with Playboy bunnies.”

Before he’d
met Julianna Boston would’ve called bullshit on Vince's claim but he knew exactly what his friend was talking about because that's how he felt about Julianna. Just being with her was worth it, was worth losing out on every supposed freedom he’d ever had as a rich, single guy. And he wanted to be there for every step of the way of her pregnancy and he wanted to be there at the moment his child was born but he knew there was no way Julianna would forgive him. Not for the world.

“She's pregnant.”

“Your girl?”

He nodded. “And she hates me.”

“I thought you couldn't have kids,” Vince said slowly. “The doctors were wrong?”

“No,
it was just a miracle. Likely this is the only child I’ll ever have. I doubt lightning will strike twice. But it's not just about the baby. Even if there wasn't a baby involved I'd still want her. She's unlike any woman I've ever met in my life and I don't know how I can possibly live without her.”

“Then don't.”

He looked to Vince. “What do you mean?”

“
I mean don't live without her. It's pretty damn clear to me that you’re useless without her. So quit whining like a bitch, quit drowning your sorrows like a pussy and go get your woman!”

Was it that simple? Should he have
stood his ground? Should he have taken his licks as he deserved and done whatever it took to regain her good graces? All signs pointed to yes. “But what if she won't take me back?”

Vince looked disgusted. “
Stop being a baby. That woman is having your kid but she already has your heart. You’re useless here. Go get her.”

Boston shook
his head. It would never work. “I can't strong-arm her. Not this time.”

“
Then put on some Boston Kincaid charm. I know you're probably rusty in that department but the Boston I knew could charm the pants off any girl. Just by being the good guy.”

“The good guy…”
It’d been a long since he’d considered himself a good guy. Not since Gigi. Was it possible? Could he be the man he used to be? He looked to Vince and was suddenly very grateful for his old friend. The friend he’d always worried would end up dead of a venereal disease, and suddenly laughed in spite of the pounding in his head. “I can't believe I'm going to say this but, Vince, that was the best advice I’ve ever heard. Thanks man.”