Legal Briefs (Lawyers in Love) (30 page)

“I don’t know. I think you’re stretching it now,” Adam said. “You haven’t
met
Donna.”

“Drunken cougar hooker, who may be a Zorro fan,” Gab said, entering the information.

“Then there’s Vixen, just Vixen, who’s a tattoo artist and body piercer, likely so she can inflict pain legally. She’s the right personality type, but she would be hard to miss. She doesn’t exactly blend in with the crowd, you know?”

“A vixen is a female fox!” Jess piped up, sounding like she was playing Trivial Pursuit. “This is fun, honey.”

“One bad attitude tattoo artist, named after female fox,” Gab repeated, typing away.

“Also on that floor are Regina and Mario. I think their real last name is Rosselli but I call them the Sopranos.”

“Wait, Mario Rosselli!” It was Braden’s turn this time. “Wasn’t he one of the owners of that adult bookstore who was investigated for allegedly laundering money for the Moretti family?”

“Yeah!” Adam jumped in “Foxy Lady Books.”

“Porn peddler with ties to Moretti, owns business with Fox in name,” Gab summarized.

“Okay, this is just getting weird at this point. So far, Herb and I are the only ones with no fox connection.”

“I don’t think Mr. Viagra has one,” Adam offered, “although he does
like
foxy ladies.”

“Oh yeah, Gab,” I said, “Do you remember a guy who took Viagra and committed a bunch of moving violations?”

“Oh my God. Mr. Davis is one of your neighbors?” she replied. Braden, Adam, Mark and Cam all looked at each other and cracked up. Obviously, they all remembered Mr. Davis. “Geriatric booty caller,” Gab said with a sigh, typing.

“Um, Yuri Ivanovich is on Mr. Davis’ floor. He’s another person who wouldn’t blend very easily. He looks like Lurch from the Addams Family. I honestly don’t know anything about him except that something about him reminds me of a KGB agent.”

“Lurch KGB,” Gab noted.

“Then there’s local, semi-derelict, M. Kazinski. I’ve heard people yell out, ‘hey, Scratch’ to him, so I guess that’s his nickname. I don’t know anything about him either, except it seems like people around the neighborhood know him. I see him hanging out on the street a lot. And that’s it. That’s my building. Nobody lives on the actual first floor.”

“So Adam,” Mark asked with a smirk, “how do you like your new digs?”

“I’m sure he likes the bedroom,” Braden replied with a laugh.

“I like my roommate,” Adam answered with a smirk of his own.

“I’ll bet your mom is really happy.” Mark was on a roll.

“Happy? Are you kidding? She’s probably alerted the media by now. Miracle in Philadelphia: How my daily prayers saved my son, the womanizer.” Braden obviously was too. That one cracked up Mark and Cam.

“Oh Braden. Leave him alone,” Gab said with a laugh. “Jewish mothers are just especially fierce when it comes to seeing their kids happily married and settled.”

Suddenly, it must have struck her that not all Jewish mothers cared so deeply about their children being happily settled, because she looked up at me and her cheeks turned pink.

“Some are just fierce in general,” I joked weakly and Adam reached over and put his arm around me protectively. Bruce, unfortunately, was even less tactful than Gab.

“Jesus, Lil, she’s never acted like a mother to you,” he thoughtfully reminded me. “She’s never been there for you. The only time she talks to you is to tell you how disappointed she and your father are in you. She doesn’t care if you live in the ghetto; she doesn’t care if you spend the rest of your life alone. Why don’t you just write her off already?”

“I have written her off,” I said, uncomfortably. “I’ve written both of my parents off. I’m tired of trying to please them and failing. I’m tired of ‘do what we want or we’ll pretend you don’t exist.’ I gave up a long time ago.”

“Well, so why do you
care
if you beat her in court?” he shot back.

“Because I want to put the past behind me. I want to stand up and say, I am strong and capable. Even if I lose, as long as I argue well, I stood on her playing field, and I stood as her equal. Then I can move on and not doubt whether or not I’m good enough anymore. This is to make sure that I respect me and I love me, not that she does.”

“I’ll take Sachs,” Adam broke in, sounding like he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Adam, you have enough of your own cases to handle. I’m not going to let you take on extra work because I’m on some personal crusade. I picked this fight with both of them. I can take them both.”

I wasn’t going to drag Adam into this with me. He had enough work of his own to worry about. Besides, I could fight my own battles. I always had. I glanced up at Jacob who was allowing his redhead to fawn all over him. Charming.

“You shouldn’t have to take them both,” Adam said in a tone of voice that made me look back at him. He was staring at me intently. “You’re not alone anymore, Lily,” he said quietly in a way that made me feel like he could see into my soul. “I’m with you and I’ve got your back. It will give me great pleasure to take that arrogant son of a bitch down for you, and then you can concentrate on doing what you have to do.”

Slowly I felt myself smile, and I felt tears prick at my eyes again. Jesus, I was becoming a regular freaking waterworks. I don’t think I’d cried as much in the past two years as I had in the past two weeks.

“Okay,” I nodded and bit my lip, digging my nails into my palms to hold it together. “We’ll go over strategy on Sunday,” I said, my voice quavering a little. “The argument is Wednesday, right before Thanksgiving. Hopefully, we’ll have a court victory to be thankful for.” I paused and collected myself. “And thank you, Adam. I love you,” I added in a whisper.

“I love you too,” he mouthed back with a smile and pulled me into a tight hug.

I hugged him back, and I didn’t care who saw. Neither one of us did, obviously. I had a feeling that our friends wouldn’t tease us about this one anyway. I heard Braden clear his throat and start discussing what everyone should bring the next day, and Adam and I let go of each other, kept calm and carried on.

The next evening our friends gathered in my, our, apartment an hour before the party was supposed to start. It seemed that we were ready. We had alcohol. We had chips. We had pretzels, hummus and crudités. All we needed was the nuts.

It turned out we wouldn’t have to break in Dan McGuire’s apartment after all. When I notified the landlord that I was having a locksmith come by, he said he would be putting in an order for Dan McGuire’s locks too, since he seemed to have skipped out. He asked if I could hold onto the new keys until he picked them up. I still had them. My landlord wasn’t really quick to do anything.

Jess was planning to open the door a crack while Cam and Mark acted as her lookouts. They assured me that they had been on missions for Gabrielle before and nothing fazed them. Besides, it seemed better that Adam, Braden and I, being prosecutors, and Gabrielle, being married to a prosecutor, remain uninvolved. Bruce just felt that he could be of more use staying behind and taste testing the alcohol.

We decided that it was ‘go time’ and the three brave defense lawyers quietly went out my apartment door with the key and I went to the peephole to watch and give updates to those of us left behind. Well, those of us besides Bruce, who didn’t really care. He was in the kitchen with the booze making his fruity cocktails.

“Cam is staying by Jess, looking in all directions, while Mark is positioning himself by the stairs,” I reported. “Okay, she’s at the door, still no sign of anyone. She’s got the key in the lock and it’s open! She’s leaving it open about two inches. Wait, Mark is signaling someone is coming. They’re headed back!” I opened the door and the three of them came barreling back in.

“I think that U. Hu is coming up the stairs,” Mark said. “I saw somebody dressed in black headed this way.” I went back to the peephole and saw that, sure enough, there was U. Hu.

“It is him,” I announced to everyone. Everyone was sitting down somewhere, except for Adam, who was right beside me. “He’s walking toward his apartment. He’s pausing and looking around. He’s stealing the clock from the hallway and putting it in a bag.”

“What?” Adam broke in.

“He’s stealing the clock from the hallway. Wait, he has another one in the bag. He’s exchanging that one for the one he took. They look the same.”

“He stole the clock from the hallway and replaced it with a duplicate clock?” Bruce asked, finally sounding interested. Maybe he thought it involved decorating.

“People do weird shit, honey,” Jess assured him. “Trust us. We work in the criminal justice system.”

“He sees McGuire’s door open!” I announced excitedly.

“Let me in there,” Adam ordered, nudging me out of my position.

“Hey, I wanted to look,” I complained, as he managed to elbow me aside.

“You’ve been looking. It’s my turn,” he replied, eye fixed to my door.

“It’s my peephole.”

“I thought I had open access to your peephole.”

“This is just like when you used to hog tetherball during recess.”

“That was sixth grade. You can let it go now,” he answered without moving away from his stolen vantage point. “If it matters, though, I promise to make it up to you by paying lots of attention to your peephole later.” I heard Mark snort with laughter and I felt my face get hot.

“Well? What’s he doing?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“He’s looking around and tiptoeing to the door.”

“So, he must know McGuire’s not in there!” Gab added enthusiastically. “And his name means Fox in Chinese. My plan worked!” She looked so proud.

“Yeah, he’s going in all right,” Adam continued. “You may have finally come up with a nutty idea that actually worked, Gabrielle. What do you know?” He looked like he was about to step back when something else caught his eye. “Hey wait, the guy next door, Nardo, just walked out of his apartment. He looks like he’s headed toward the stairs… but he sees the door! He’s stopping, looking around, stalking quietly over …”

“What?” Gab asked, sounding confused. “He doesn’t think McGuire’s there either?”

“And Reynard is French for Fox,” Jess, the former French major reminded us.

“He’s at the door, and he’s going in!”

“With Who Me in there?” Cam asked.

“U. Hu,” I corrected.

“Oh, right, sorry.”

“Yeah, one of them is going to be in for a surprise, I guess,” Adam commented. “Wait, here comes somebody else.” He paused without telling us the identity of the new arrival.

“Who?” I asked impatiently.

“No, Hu’s already inside. Isn’t he?” Cam said.

“I don’t know.” Braden laughed and looked at Mark who shouted out, “Third Base!”

“Adam, you’re taking a really long time with the peephole,” I said peevishly.

“I didn’t hear you complaining last night … This time it’s Yuri. He sees the door. He’s looking around and now he’s going over there. And he’s in the door.”

“I need a drink,” Gab said, sounding utterly beaten down that her plan had been such a colossal failure.

“Don’t worry, honey,” Jess soothed. “Eventually, one of your crazy schemes is bound to work. It’s the law of averages.”

“And in the meantime, enjoy the party,” Mark added.

“You won’t believe who’s coming now,” Adam said, sounding amused.

“Who is it?” I demanded, squirming with curiosity. Clearly, he was abusing his peephole privileges.

“It’s Donna!” he said, just as I was on verge of shoving him out the way.

“Donna?” I asked incredulously. “What’s she even doing on this floor? She can’t be here for the party already?”

“Her parties probably start as soon as she falls out of bed, but it looks like she’s going over to the maintenance closet. She is. She’s opening the door and taking something out. It’s a …. bottle of Thunderbird.”

“Oh my God!” Bruce said, sounding aghast.

“I know,” I agreed. “I can’t believe she’s stashing alcohol all over the building.”

“Not that!” Bruce replied. “It’s Thunderbird! Ew!” I turned and rolled my eyes at him.

“Uh oh. She sees McGuire’s door,” Adam went on.

“No!” Gab sounded completely dejected.

“Yep, she’s there. She’s looking around furtively, clutching her Thunderbird to her chest, and … she’s going in.”

“With Ray Nardo, Yuri and Hu U. in there already?” Braden asked.

“U. Hu,” Cam reminded him.

“Right.” He nodded.

“Yeah, all of them must be in there together, and that’s a little disturbing, knowing Donna,” Adam answered.

“The possibilities are endlessly disgusting,” I agreed.

“I don’t know that you two are going to want to raise your children in this building, honey,” Jess said teasingly.

“Adam’s such a paternal guy.” Mark snorted. “I’m sure he’s deeply worried about it.”

“Laugh it up,” Adam muttered. “I changed a diaper the other day, I’ll have you know.”

“What?” Braden asked with a laugh.

“You did not!” Mark said, sounding like he was about to crack up at the very idea.

“He really did. I helped,” I said proudly.

“Yeah, she found the return address label.”