Read Least Likely To Survive Online
Authors: Lisa Biesiada
“Angela Thompson, 29.”
“And where are you from, Angela?”
“Denver Colorado.”
“Any illnesses? Medical conditions or medications you take regularly?”
“No and no.” This could be a while if she wanted my entire history. Instead she stopped writing and put down the clipboard. She picked up a stethoscope, and listened to my lungs, which probably sounded awful after smoking for so many years. Satisfied I was still breathing; she grabbed the multipurpose scope thing, and proceeded to check my ears, eyes, nose and throat.
She put down the tool and smiled, “Okay, go ahead and stand for me please.” I hopped off the table and stood there, feeling like an idiot while she poked and prodded, and check every piece of flesh not covered by my underwear. “
I wonder if this is how fruit feels being fondled in the produce section…”
I thought to myself as she finished up her examination. She picked her clipboard back up and scribbled for a minute before continuing her interrogation. “Last menstruation?”
I scrunched my face in thought, “Uh, two weeks ago?” Yeah, I think that was right. Seeing as how I knew damn well there was no chance I was pregnant, I tended to lose track.
“Okay Angela, you’re all done, you may get dressed now and join the others.” She gave me one last smile before heading in Chloe’s direction. Now that I was dismissed, I darted back behind the screen to put my filthy clothes back on, wondering if there was a shower and clean clothes in my future.
Once dressed, I headed for the flap, glancing over to see that Chloe was almost done, although the doctor was a bit more thorough with her; probably as she was a child and all. I ducked through the flap back into the now darkness of the underground lot, where I was greeted by Jack.
“Ty still in there?” I said looking up at him, trying to untwist a strap on my harness.
“Yeah, should be out in a few. Chloe?” He countered back at me nodding his head in the direction of the tent I had just walked out of.
“Yep, and almost done.” He nodded at that and walked back to the Hummer. I watched him reach inside and grab his jacket, before closing the door again. I decided that wasn’t a bad idea, and went in search of my pack. I leaned into the passenger seat, and fished my bag off the floor board. I did however remove the books and set them back on the floor before pulling back out of the car.
“Hey, why don’t I hang on to the keys for a bit?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could manage. The kids didn’t have anything in there, everyone had their guns and ammo, and I knew it wouldn’t be an issue.
He peered at me with his head cocked for a second, and I held my breath, afraid I had been found out, but he just tossed the keys to me. I let the air out of my lungs as I stuck the keys securely in the bottom of my pocket, and tossed my pack over my shoulder. I smiled at Jack as reassuringly as I could manage, but I didn’t know for sure if he knew what I was up to.
We stood there in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes waiting for the kids. I kept darting glances around, which I knew was making me look suspicious, but couldn’t quite put my finger on why this place was so unsettling. It still looked like just another parking lot, except it was heavily guarded. I couldn’t shake the feeling I was about to enter the Pentagon or something, but I supposed that was kinda the point of a Safe Zone: Heavily guarded.
I risked a look at Jack, and had to stifle my jealousy over how he could just stand there looking bored. Fucking actors and their damned poker faces. I did however notice that more than one of the female officers standing around seemed very focused on him, and whispering amongst themselves. Obviously they recognized him, but were too good at their jobs to make a big deal of it. It seemed funny to me that in the midst of all this chaos we were still prone to getting star struck.
After what seemed like an eternity, but was really only about ten minutes, the kids emerged from their tents, redressed and sporting their holsters. They walked over to us and looked as though everything was fine. Apparently they didn’t get the ‘imminent danger’ memo I had.
The guy who had taken Roscoe led the dog back to Ty, and handed the leash off, patting the panting dog’s head as he did. “He’s a great dog, be sure to watch out for him,” he said to Ty.
Ty took the leash and directed Roscoe to sit beside him. “Thanks, I will.” He replied before looking to us for what to do next.
Ian picked this moment to stroll back up to us, carefree smile still firmly in place. “Okay folks, now that everyone has been cleared, I’ll show you to your quarters.” His smile slid a little as he glanced at the gun holsters the four of us were still wearing. “You’ll have to leave your weapons down here, I’m afraid,” he smiled apologetically as if truly sorry for this inconvenience.
“The fuck we will. Where we go, our guns go,” Jack said in a tone that left little room for argument. I was shocked and pleased that he had spoken up, as I damned well wasn’t going anywhere not armed.
Ian hesitated for a moment, and darted a glance behind him at a guy who looked like he might be in charge. The guy paused, then nodded wordlessly back at Ian. He turned back to us, and addressed Jack directly. “Okay, it seems we can make an exception, considering your status, Mr. Jones.” He smiled again, and held his arm out in silent request to accompany him. I wasn’t sure how Jack being famous made it ok for us to have our guns, but considering I had gotten my way, wasn’t about to ask.
We followed Ian a few feet deeper into the garage, heading for an elevator I was going to assume took us to the upper levels, as he studied the clipboard in his hand for a few moments before turning to address us again. “Alright, so we have Mr. Jones,” with another Cheshire grin at Jack; “Angela, Tyler, and Chloe?” He continued with a look at each of us as he said our names.
“It’s just Ty, and Roscoe,” Said Ty as he nodded his head towards the dog.
“And Roscoe,” Ian answered with another of his creepy smiles aimed at Ty.
He turned and pushed the UP button on the wall, and began speaking as we waited for the doors to open. “Levels three and four are segregated for civilian housing. Level two is officer’s quarters; the restaurant on the roof is setup as the mess hall and all other areas are restricted.” He paused to look back at us after his brief virtual tour, and pushed his glasses farther up his nose. “I assume you all would like to get cleaned up? Fresh clothes and showers, perhaps?” His eyebrows rose with his question, like it wasn’t totally fucking obvious we were all disgusting and dying for a shower.
Jack took it upon himself to answer. “Yes, that would be great,” as he returned Ian’s smile with kind. I had to hand it to him: he really knew exactly how to handle assholes without missing a beat.
Ian just smiled at Jack in response, and with a glance at the rest of us, “This way, please.”
We wordlessly followed Ian into the elevator and stood silently waiting for the doors to close. Still silent, we all watched the digital numbers above the door rise, until we stopped on the first floor. The doors opened, and I couldn’t hide my shock as the main vestibule was revealed.
The place was fucking huge; like the Pepsi Center and Invesco had a love child. It was also super posh, which I thought was a little odd for a sports center, but figured it probably catered to other events as well.
Ian led the way into the large area, and power-walked us over to what sort of looked like a shopping center. My head was trying to do a full 180 in the attempt to take in our surroundings, but it was impossible. Banners hung from the ceilings, extravagant lighting fixtures twinkled down at us, as if in greeting, and various stores lined the area. It looked like a damn mall. It was concerning to see so many windows everywhere; it just seemed like too much open space to really protect anyone, but on the flip side there were a lot of police and military here, so perhaps this was the town’s plan all along in the event of large scale disaster.
We stopped in the middle of the rows of stores, and cocking a brow, Ian gestured for us to proceed as necessary. The four of us looked at each other, and continued looking around helplessly; no one knew where to start. There were several clothing stores, toy stores, and gift shops, so I headed to the nearest women’s clothing boutique that looked like it might fit me, and watched as the others followed suit.
Walking in to the store, with Chloe hot on my heels, I was pleasantly surprised to see so many choices. I was expecting it all to be just shirts and pants, but there was a full array of under apparel, and anything else we may need. I was also pleased to see that while most of it was Texas tourist related, a lot of the choices were not. I picked up a bra, and flipping it over looked at the tag, noticing it sported a Victoria Secret logo.
“Hmm. I wonder who found the time to raid a lingerie store during the apocalypse…”
I thought to myself as I shuffled through the selection. Apparently I was going to have some questions for Ian, but that would have to wait until my shopping spree was over.
I quit wasting time and quickly grabbed a complete outfit in my size, which wasn’t easy, as I wasn’t a size 7, but did manage to find something that should fit well enough. It was tough to say as there wasn’t exactly a dressing room, and I didn’t have all night to loiter.
I picked a pink and white polka dotted bra and panty set that looked sturdy enough to run in without anything unexpected falling out, yoga pants and a muscle shirt that were both black, but the butt of the pants was unfortunately adorned with the Playboy logo, as was the front of the shirt. I couldn’t suppress my sigh as I thought of how ridiculous I was going to look with words across my ass, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.
I carried my ensemble over to Chloe to see if she had faired any better. “Now I love pink and all, but it looks like a flamingo threw up in here,” she said to me as I approached, shaking her head in her obvious disdain at the selection. I had to agree with her; either someone dropped the ball during the stock up, or women in Texas all looked like Bunnies.
She held up a black pair of yoga pants similar to mine, these saying ‘Bombshell’ across the butt in gold, and shook her head. “I guess this will have to do.” She handed them to me, and grabbed a matching black spaghetti strapped top with a Bunny logo on the front; also in gold. Fuck, we were going to look like strippers headed to the gym in our matching outfits. I could feel a little piece of my self-esteem plummet as I thought of how my ass would look jiggling away in these pants.
While I was still mentally bemoaning our fashion misfortunes, Chloe had wandered over to the lingerie area, and found clean underwear for herself as well. As we stood there holding our loot, I glanced around to see if shoes and socks would be on the agenda, but the only thing I could see was a wall of flip flops and Crocs. Yeah, like those would really be useful while running for our lives, but again, it was only temporary, and it would be good to let our feet breath while we rested here.
Clothes in hand, we both headed back to the main area where Ian had been waiting, but before we could get there, saw that both Jack and Ty were already there, arms laden with clothing and all three wearing looks of irritation. As we approached Jack cocked an eyebrow and smirked at me as he asked, “Get lost?”
I could feel the blush creep up my cheeks yet again at his question. I really hated that I was so attracted to him, as it made acting like a normal person almost impossible.
“Um, it’s harder to pick out girl clothes,” was all I managed to squeak out in a very lame attempt at a reply. He just grinned wider as he glanced at the lacy pink unmentionables in my hand, and I’m pretty sure he winked at me before turning back to Ian. It was fast, and it might have been a facial tick, but if it was a wink, I was pretty sure I may actually die from embarrassment.
I didn’t have time to consider said wink, as Ian cleared his throat before addressing us once more. “If you’ll follow me this way, our next stop is the locker rooms.” He turned around and started a brisk walk towards the heart of the stadium before anyone noticed that my cheeks had turned so red, I probably looked like a burn victim.
We followed Ian silently, and I tried to take note of our surroundings in the event I had to find my way back, but was out of luck as we were moving pretty fast, and it was all a blur of cement walls and unreadable signs.
After a few turns, we emerged into a nondescript hallway, complete with more cement walls, and glaring halogen lights blinking overhead. Ian stopped at two doors marked men’s and women’s locker rooms, and turned to address us. “You will find any toiletries you may require inside. I’ll be back in thirty minutes to take you to your quarters.” He didn’t look up from his clipboard as he walked back down the hall, leaving us to our own devices.
We took turns passing a look of questioning at each other, before Ty yawned and walked through the men’s door. Chloe and I turned to the right and headed through our own door.
Stepping inside, I looked around, and noticed that there was a counter along one wall overflowing with various bottles of shampoo, conditioner, razors, toothbrushes, and anything else we may need. I hurried over and started grabbing what I would need for a shower, including a toothbrush. I was well aware I still had a perfectly good one in my bag, but it never hurt to have a spare.