Learning to Stand (10 page)

“
No,” Alex replied. “We’ve
been assigned to a complicated and challenging situation involving
the President’s best-friend. We need to be able to count on every
member. Today. Right this minute.”

“
Oh,” Larry said. He lay
down on the hospital bed and stared at the ceiling. After a few
moments, he whispered, “I don’t know how to work it out,
Major.”

Tears squeezed from his blue eyes.

“
I might be able to help
you.”

“
But don’t want to help me,”
he said.

“
Fuck Larry! Are you twelve?
You are a God damned Special Forces SOLDIER in the United States
Army.”

Alex bit her lip to keep from any further
yelling. Jesse was right. Yelling in a hospital was stupid. Shaking
her head, she moved toward the door.

“
I’m sorry, sir,” Larry
said. “I’m drunk, hung over, and sick. I’m behaving very poorly.
Especially to you. Is there a way to make it up to you?”

“
You can tell me what this
is about,” Alex said.

“
Did you send me to Iraq to
get rid of me?”

“
No, Larry,” Alex said. “You
joined Forces straight from college. You have to do at least one
tour. The rest of us were regular Army before we trained for our
Berets. My Sergeant, for example, did three tours in Afghanistan
before going through training. Vince went to Annapolis, graduated
top of his class before becoming a SEAL. He’d still be underwater
if he wasn’t injured.”

“
Oh.”

“
Exactly,” Alex said. “I
think it will be good for you to get out in the field and actually
do what you were trained to do. Isn’t that why you joined? To serve
your country?”

“
No, Major. I joined to work
for you. My uncle… was…” Larry looked away from her. “He’s not
really my uncle. He’s my uncle’s best-friend from elementary
school. His parents lived next door to us. My uncle is only five
years older than me. I spent a lot of time with him and his friend
when I was growing up. His friend joined the Army when I was in
high school. He was… held… in… Siberia. You probably don’t remember
him but he lost a foot to frost bite?”

“
Lieutenant Colonel Fred
Hossa,” Alex said.

“
He said he will never
forget seeing your team, the Fey Special Forces Team, cross country
skiing across the horizon. He said he never had been more proud to
be an American. He knew he was safe when you, a beautiful woman,
pushed your hood off and laughed at something a team member said.
That was probably Jesse, right?”

“
Jesse made a couple jokes
about Mexicans in the snow,” Alex nodded. “Jesse was born in
Mexico. He hated the cold.”

“
I thought, ‘That’s what I
want to do.’ I want to save people who are held hostage. They
opened direct entry to Special Forces for college graduates when I
was almost done with Harvard. I finished up and applied. My parents
were furious but there wasn’t much they could do.”

“
If you went through all of
this to work for me, why did you fuck it up?”

Larry shrugged.

“
What happens now?” Larry
asked.

“
The doctors will come to
check you out. If you’re all right, you’ll come with us. Drunk,
hung over and sick, you’ll work today. You need to apologize to the
men and Colonel Gordon. You must deal with the legal ramifications
of your actions, whatever they are. No excuses.”

“
Yes sir,” he
said.

“
When we get to base, we’ll
speak about your other allegations with the men. Teams work things
out among themselves.”

“
I won’t let you down,
Major.”

Larry’s eyes and tone were so sincere that
Alex almost laughed.

“
You better not.”

Larry nodded.

“
Oh, one more thing,” Alex
said.

“
Yes, Major?”

“
If I ever see you take even
one sip of alcohol in my presence, I will kick your ass. The doctor
will tell you this, but the only way you could get that drunk is if
you have a genetic propensity for alcohol. Drink and you’ll become
an alcoholic. I will not tolerate an alcoholic in my
life.”

“
I swear I will never drink
again,” Larry said. “I know I can become an alcoholic. There are
lots of them in my family.”

Alex scowled her sincerity at Larry then
tapped on the door. White Boy opened the door.

“
The doctor is here,” White
Boy said

Alex nodded

Looking past Alex, White Boy said, “You all
right, kid? She wasn’t too mean?”

Larry shook his head.

“
Where’s Trece?” Alex
asked.

White Boy shrugged. After seeing the doctor,
checking in with the Denver Police, they were on their way to the
car before Trece reappeared. He didn’t offer an explanation for
where he had been. Noting the anger on Alex’s face, he continued
his jovial commentary the entire drive back to base.

Arriving at her office, she was met by her
Sergeant at the door. But even with her Sergeant’s intervention, it
was clear. The men hadn’t worked while she was gone. Trailing her
Sergeant, Trece and White Boy, she marched to her group work area.
Standing in the doorway, she watched them play Nerf football. Her
Sergeant cleared his throat and the men turned to look at them.

Without saying a word, Alex turned in place.
She walked back to her office, closed then locked the door. She
could hear the men try to get around her Sergeant. They called her
telephone. She received IM and email. None of which she
answered.

Instead, she placed a telephone call to the
Admiral in charge of Special Forces. She waited only a few moments
before he took her call. A half hour later, Colonel Gordon knocked
on her door. While he tried to persuade her, he eventually
acquiesced to her request. She followed him out of the office.

Walking to her group work area, she found
them diligently working on the things she asked them to do hours
before.

“
I have disbanded this
team,” she said. “The Admiral is looking for new assignments for
each of you. You will be contacted either by Colonel Gordon or the
Admiral regarding your next assignment. Captain Hutchins, you have
been returned to the Navy. Agent Rasmussen, you have been returned
to Homeland Security.

“
My decision is final. While
within my power, I have not added a note to your files regarding
the dissolution of this team. As far as the world knows, we were
asked to complete a project that was beyond our scope.

“
I remind you that you are
officers in the United States Military. In the future, I hope you
are able to work for someone you’re able to respect.

“
Do not contact me, write
me, email me or IM. That is a direct order from your superior
officer. Thank you for your attention.”

Without saying another word, she walked out
of the building to her car and drove home. Once there, she worked
her way through the voice, fingerprint and code security in her
basement office. Locking the door, she collapsed in a heap on the
floor.

And wept.

F

CHAPTER EIGHT

Three hours later

Wednesday morning
March 26 – 10:45 A.M. MDT
Fort Logan National Cemetery, Colorado

Alex stepped back to admire her work. She
spent the last hour cleaning the eleven granite stones which
marking the final resting place of the Fey Special Forces Team. As
she often did when she was here, she talked to her friends and
teammates. She told them about her life. She shared her loneliness
and grief. While Jesse hovered nearby, she detailed everything that
happened.

In her effort to keep her few living friends
close, she had lost them all. She’d known Troy since basic
training, Trece and White Boy almost as long. Matthew had been her
sparing partner, her buddy and her closest friend through some very
dark nights. She spent six months in Walter Reed with Vince. Within
a few days, they would be scattered to the wind.

And she would be alone.

Moving from stone to stone, she lit incense
with Jesse’s Zippo lighter. Peace be with Alexander, the stone they
laid for her, Nathan, Paul, Jax, Dean, Scott, Tommy, Dwight, Jesse,
Mike and finally Charlie. Standing in the fragrant smoke, she
wondered what was next for her.

Her failure was complete.

She couldn’t move on from her days on the
Fey Special Forces Team.

Not willing to face her life, she clicked
Jessie’s Zippo lighter opened and closed. Charlie bought these
lighters to commemorate their first mission. Since her lighter was
still broken, she used Jesse’s.

Hearing a car pull up behind her, she placed
her hand on the Glock 9 mm which rested at her sacrum. She turned
around to see a familiar black limousine.

“
I thought I’d find you
here,” her father, and General-turned-Senator, Patrick Hargreaves
said.

“
How did you get here so
fast?” she asked.

“
I was in town for a series
of meetings.” He looked at his watch. “I’m meeting with the
governor right this minute.”

He put his arm around his favorite child in
an open hug. They watched the smoke from the incense blow over the
eleven granite stones.

“
You’re not wearing your
Alyssa get up,” he said.

“
Couldn’t get the lenses in.
Crying,” Alex said. “So I gave up.”

“
Is it safe?”

Alex shrugged.

“
I’m sorry, Dad. I know you
wanted me to be career military, but I couldn’t do it. I’ve failed
you. And I’m very sorry.”

Patrick made a noise, somewhere between a
snort and a grunt. Noticing her look, he worked his face toward
something more sincere. His blue eyes danced with laughter.

“
There’s no way you can fail
me, Alex,” he said.

“
Why did you
laugh?”

“
Because I gave my superior
officer the same speech a couple months into leading my own team,”
he said. “What happened?”

“
They don’t respect me. I
asked them to do specific things and they refused. We were on
assignment a few days ago and... It was a nightmare. How did you
find out?”

“
Initially? Your sister,
Erin called. The Admiral has assigned Matthew to another extended
stay in Afghanistan. He’s to leave in the morning.”

“
He is a soldier. We are at
a war,” Alex said. “What did Erin want you to do?”

“
Intervene,” he said. “I’ll
tell you. The Admiral must be particularly angry with Mac
Clenaghan. The assignment is a dog especially for a
Captain.”

“
She made the choice to date
someone with a twenty year military contract.”

“
You’re angry.”

“
Heartbroken,” Alex said.
“Lost.”

“
You should know the men
were reassigned the moment you left base. Olivas is assigned to a
nasty project dealing with the FARC in Columbia. Rasmussen no
longer works for Ben. He was recalled to Washington DC where he
will be given a thousand civilian profiles. Hutchins’s project is
so bad that he’s contacting doctors for a medical discharge, which
will be denied.”

“
Trece and White
Boy?”

“
You don’t want to know.
They were dealt with first. Their commander will not tolerate even
a whiff of disrespect let alone abject disobedience.”

“
Zack?”

“
Captain Jakkman has been
grounded. At Schriever, no less. Indefinitely. And he’s angry. He
says he didn’t do anything. But he’s a part of your team. I think
they are going to send him through flight school or something
annoying. His co-pilot was reassigned to Iraq.”

“
What about
Flagg?”

“
Do you really want to
know?”

“
I guess so,” Alex
said.

“
Full military court
martial,” Patrick said.

“
I guess he won’t have to go
to Iraq,” Alex said. “He can go about his college boy life and
never look back.”

Patrick raised his eyebrows at her dark
comment.

“
The Admiral has no
intention of breaking up your team,” Patrick said. “At least that’s
what he told me. He’s planning on letting them stew for a while
though. They’ve had an easy year – great pay, sleep in your own
bed, set your own schedule. He wants them to understand that they
are soldiers first.”

“
I hope the Admiral has
someone in mind to lead them. I’m not doing it,” Alex said. “I
can’t.”

Patrick’s blue eyes reviewed Alex’s face.
Her chin was set in stubborn defiance. Her lips were pressed to her
teeth. The tight skin against her cheekbones told him of her
anxiety induced starvation. More than anything, there was an
uncharacteristic darkness about his bright child. As if to protect
her from the dark, he pulled her closer.

“
You’re not eating,” he
said.

Alex looked up at her father then shook her
head.

“
Listen Dad, I appreciate
how busy you are. I bet the governor isn’t happy about waiting for
you. Why don’t we schedule lunch sometime next week? We can talk
then.”

Patrick laughed.

“
You only fail if you quit,”
he said.

“
Well, there you have it,”
Alex said. “I quit.”