Learning to Breathe (12 page)

I threw him a reluctant smile.
“Yeah, well thanks – again. You seem to be making a habit of this.”

Danny laughed loudly at that.
“Yeah, it’s my mission in life to save you.”

He then looked directly into my eyes and held my gaze there for a few seconds. I felt a little unnerved since his words reminded me of my dream the other night. I looked away but felt him lay his hand gently on my bare shoulder.

“Are you okay? What happened in the pool? Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my hea
d. “It was nothing. I just panicked – that’s all.”

I heard Danny sigh heavily.
“If you say so.”

I s
hrugged and changed the subject. “So what happens now? Is Ms Mahon letting me quit this stupid class?”

Danny chuckled.
“You really think she gives up that easily? No, she expects you back here Friday.”

I turned to look at him then.
“But why is she putting me through this torture? I can’t do it – I just can’t!”

“Because she’s not a quitter – and neither are you.”

I rolled my eyes. “And how do you know that?”

Da
nny met my gaze again. “Because you were brave enough to go into the pool even after what happened at the spring. Look, whatever else it is that you’re not telling me – I know you can overcome it too.”

“Yeah and what the hell do you know about my life?” I spat back at him. I didn’t even know why I was mad at him but I didn’t feel comfortable
being this close to him when I was feeling so vulnerable. I stood up abruptly and stormed off to the changing rooms, leaving Danny shouting after me.

When I arrived home later that night, my mood had not improved at all. I had gone to the town library after school in a bid to clear my head. I sat there until after 5pm and then begrudgingly made my way home.

I slammed the front door closed as soon as I stepped into the house and found my mother in the kitchen, busy cooking dinner. She turned around when she heard me enter the room.

“Well … how did it go?”

I threw my bag on the floor and glared
at her.

“How did it go? Really M
other? I’ll tell you how it went – I freaked out and had to be rescued from the shallow end of the pool! That’s how well it went!” I bellowed at her.

My mother remained calm throughout my outburst and merely waited until I had finished ranting until she spoke again.

“Darcie, I know it’s not gonna be easy but I know that you can do it. You just have to have a little faith in yourself. Today was only your first attempt … it’ll get easier over time – I promise.”

“Yeah?” I sneered at her. “A
nd you know this how? It happened to me Mum! Me! You weren’t there! You don’t know what I went through! So you
don’t
know how hard this is for me … if you had any clue at all, you wouldn’t be making me do this!”

My mother stared at me for a l
ong time before she spoke again. “You’re right – I don’t know what happened but that’s because you refuse to talk to me about it! What do you want me to do Darcie? I’m trying my best here but you’re not making it any easier when you fight me the whole way!”

“I t
old you before – I don’t wanna talk about it! Talking about it isn’t going to fix it – it’ll just make it worse. If I talk about what happened, it won’t make things better … it’ll just be another cruel reminder of what happened and what I can’t change – no matter how much I wish I could.” I let out a heavy sigh, I was exhausted from my outburst but my mother looked like she wasn’t finished yet.

Sure
enough, she shook her head at me and sighed. “Believe me Darcie, I know doing this won’t change what happened but maybe it’ll help you another way. If it only helps you to overcome your fear then at least you’ve accomplished that. Just please stick at it – that’s all I’m saying.”

“Well you made damn sure I had no other choice but to do it
, didn’t you? Well okay, maybe I will stick at it but not for you or anyone else … I’m going to do it to prove to you that it won’t change a thing.” And with that, I left my mother standing looking quite stunned while I headed upstairs on a mission.

I woke up the next morning with my plan already formulated – I just hoped that it would work. I was ready in record time and caught the earliest bus to school – I had already told Harriet that I didn’t need a lift. As I was dropped off outside of Dover High, I checked the car park for any signs of life and found only a few cars parked already.

My watch told me it was just after 8am so I knew
that the school should be open by now. I made my way inside the building and on into the Sports Wing. Halfway down the hall, I could hear the faint sound of The Black Keys’ ‘Lonely Boy’ blaring mixed with the splashing of water.

I entered the pool area to find that
Danny was exactly where Harriet had said he would be – swimming laps (I found this out after I had questioned her last night). I smiled to myself and tried to think of some way to get his attention, I then spotted an inflatable beach ball over by the floats –
perfect.

I grabbed the ball and lobbed it just as Danny had reached the centre of the pool. It hit him right on the head and I let out a chuckle when he abruptly stopped swimming and looked around with a baffled expression on his face.

He eventually spun around in my direction and frowned at me before yelling out. “What the hell did you that for?”

I stood with my hands on my hips, hoping that
I looked like I meant business. “I need your help!” I yelled back over the music.

Danny didn’t answer me right away but continued to swim over to the edge of the pool and then climbed out. He then made his way over to an iPod dock in the far corner of the room and turned off the music before making his way towards me.

I
had been so keyed up about sharing my plan that I failed to notice how attractive Danny was looking until he started to approach me. He was half-naked with his hair swept back and was glistening from the water like he’d just stepped out of a TV advert. Seriously, he looked like a male model that had just happened to stumble into a high school wearing nothing but swimming shorts and that killer, less than perfect smile …

None of that
should have mattered to me but I couldn’t stop staring at him – to say that I was very distracted at that precise moment would have been an understatement. I watched as Danny grabbed a towel on his way to meet me and I tried my best to think of something coherent to say to him before he came to talk to me … it wasn’t working. I watched as he dried off his face and then slung the towel over his shoulder before he stood in front of me.

“Sorry, I don’t think I heard you right over the music … did you just ask for my help?” He threw me another killer smile and I found myself tongue-tied.

“So,” Danny prompted, “are you?”

I ev
entually snapped out of my daze. “Yes,” I said slowly, “yes I am.”

Danny laughed and steered me over
to one of the spectator benches. “Okay then Gilmore, let’s talk.”

“I need your help.” I blurted out to a clearly bemused Danny.

“
Why do you want my help now?” Danny asked curiously.

I sighed heavily.
“Look, I know I was rude to you yesterday but now I need your help. Will you help me?” I pleaded, looking into those extraordinary hazel eyes of his.

“
Well only if you tell me why you’ve suddenly changed your mind.” Danny shot back at me.

“I – I want to learn how to – how to – swim.” I managed to stutter out eventually.

He nodded slowly. “Okay … do you wanna elaborate on that a bit?”

“I need to prove a point.” I stated simply.

“Right.” Danny drawled out. “That’s not super vague at all.” he finished sarcastically.

I grunted in frustration.
“Look, will you help me or not?”

He threw me a smirk.
“Of course I will but I think you should grovel a bit more … maybe you could get down on one knee and plead with me or something.”

I threw him a dirty look but knelt down on the wet floor, taking both his hands in mine before
looking directly into his eyes.

“Danny, pretty please will you help me … or so help me God
, I
will
kick your ass.”

Danny snorted with laughter.
“Okay, I don’t appreciate the sarcasm – or the threat of bodily harm – but I’ll do it. When do you wanna start?”

“Tod
ay.” I told him determinedly. “Before I change my mind.”

“Okay, I’ll see you back here at 3pm.” Danny told me before jumping back into the pool to finish his laps.

As I left the pool area, I wondered what the hell I had just gotten myself into.

The school day passed at a relatively fast pace but I was willing it to slow down since I was starting to have second thoughts about the swimming lessons with Danny. However, by the time 3pm rolled around, I gritted my teeth and decided to get it over and done with.

I made my way to the changing rooms and eyed my blue swimsuit unsurely – I was desperately afraid that I would have a repeat of the day before and freak out. Nevertheless, I changed and proceeded to the pool area where Danny was already waiting for me.

“You didn’t chicken out then?” he teased as I approached him.

I narrowed my eyes at
him. “Let’s just get this over with okay?”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted my help.”

I rolled my eyes. “Are you gonna hold that against me forever? Actually, you know what – I don’t care. Go ahead and gloat … if it makes you feel better.”

Danny looked a little take
n aback by my hostile demeanour. “Wow, chill out Gilmore! Look, I know you’re nervous but try to relax – you’re in safe hands.”

I instantly
felt stupid for being so harsh. “Sorry,” I mumbled, genuinely meaning it for once.

Danny grinned.
“It’s okay. Now, I’ve gotta warn you that this isn’t gonna be easy – it’s gonna be damn hard – but it’ll be worth it in the end. You sure you’re up for it?”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak as I thought I might be in danger of backing out.

“Good, now let’s get started.” Danny led me to the edge of the pool and told me to get in to the level that I felt most comfortable at. He followed me in and ducked his head under the water so that he was now totally wet.

“Okay, if you can, I want you to gradually do what I just did. I know that’s what Ms Mahon wanted you to do yesterday but you never quite made it before you passed out. I’ll be here the whole time and you can even hold my hand if you want.”
He smiled at me encouragingly but I still felt unsure.

“I don’t kn
ow if I can do this.” I admitted, feeling rather nauseous.

Danny looked at me intently.
“What are you afraid of?”

“I – I just – it’s – I’m scared at the thought of not being able to breathe.” I rus
hed out rather quickly, feeling like an idiot.

Danny nodde
d sympathetically. “Okay, is that what happened yesterday? Did you panic about not being able to breathe?”

I avoided Danny’s gaze.
“I don’t want to talk about yesterday.”

I heard him sigh heavily.
“This is getting old Darcie – why won’t you tell me what happened? It’ll make my job a hell of a lot easier if I knew why you were so scared of the water.”

I still didn’t look at him and stubbornly refused to answer. Instead, I rashly decided to duck my head under the water and damn the consequences.

My lungs felt like they were on fire … I could taste the salty water but there was nothing I could do to stop it from rushing into my lungs ... I was choking while I screamed out for help but nobody was there … I could feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness until someone yelled …

“Darcie!”

I opened my eyes and found that I was still in the water but Danny was supporting me while he tried to prop me up against the side of the pool. Once that he saw I was conscious, he lifted me up to sit at the edge of the pool. I avoided his eye-line as he stayed in the water and rested his elbows on the tiles around the edge of the pool. I sucked in a few deep breaths in a bid to lower my racing heartbeat.

There was a long silence and I wondered who would be the first to break it. I wasn’t ready to talk about what had just happened but I knew that Danny would want to pry.
The way I saw it, I had two choices; wait for Danny to interrogate me or jump in there first and deflect the issue at hand.

However, before I got the chance to speak, Danny beat me to it.

“Are you okay?” He met my eyes and I saw deep concern there.