Leader of the Pack (38 page)

He sounded so off-hand about it that Aislinn found it infuriating.
Is it so impossible for someone to just give me a straight detailed answer?
“Okay, but I was still
hybrid,
” she said with excessive stress, “when I woke up this morning in the cabin.”

He cocked an eyebrow at the thought he picked up on. In conjunction with the obvious frustration, he couldn’t help but find her cute. He hadn’t realized how frustrated she was getting. It implied that she was looking for a great deal more information than she had actually asked him about, and he wondered who she was talking to. “Yeah, but how did you feel?” he returned smugly.

“I guess I was still pretty upset.”

“You’ll have to learn to control how much you feel. It’s an over simplification of the real explanation, but emotion affects the change quite a bit. Really, it’s about who’s in charge at any point in time. The beast or the human. It’s like there’s two voices in your head. There’s one who doesn’t care much for logic or reason and just wants what it wants, and one who is patient and considering and can deal with what life throws at you and move on. When you start to let things get to you, it makes it easier for the beast to have its way. Anger, lust,” he said with a smirk, “even happiness. Anything in an extreme can let the beast have more control than might be appropriate. You can also call it to you when you need it. Anyway it happens, there’s a moment of conflict and submission. Where the two halves of you decide who gets to be in charge for the moment. Human and wolf or cat are pretty straight forward. But the hybrid, well he can sorta go either way. It all depends what the situation is.”

Aislinn nodded seriously, obviously thinking about everything he said. “You’ll have to give me some lessons I think. I kinda get it. But understanding the explanation and controlling or experiencing it, I think, will be two different things.”

Cullen walked over to her and pulled the neck of her shirt over the bite he’d left. It would need to be cleaned. “I intended to give you some lessons. The bond will help. Keep that covered up for now. When it’s healed a bit more it won’t be so obvious.” He smiled. It would scar pretty badly. He hadn’t intended to be quite that thorough. His wolf probably would have been worse, if given the chance.

“What are we going to do? About telling the pack I mean.”

“I’ll have the arrangements set for us to have a mating ceremony.” His smile broadened. “And for you to get a lesson on what exactly will happen with that as well. I don’t know when it will be yet. Don’t worry about it. There are still a number of problems waiting back at the den to be dealt with. We won’t have the ability to have the ceremony until after we clean up the mess.”

“So when everything is said and done, do I go back to sitting in the library bored to tears,” Aislinn asked. “You know, I’m going to need a job or something to do. I can’t just sit around all the time waiting to have sex with you,” she grinned at him, and he grinned right back.

“You sure?” he teased. Cullen thought about it. “Well, there are any number of things you could do, now that Rafe isn’t a threat. There are some limitations, seeing as you’re mine. Liam probably won’t let you wait tables,” he added, reading her mind and smiling at her. Cullen nodded in the direction of the cabin. “We’ll figure something out if you’re determined to do something other than hang out at the den. Maybe you can help Sarah out. That would probably be the most fitting job for you.”

They started walking toward the cabin. “I just don’t want it to look like I’m not pulling my weight.”

“When we run into Keith again, you should ask him what he thinks your job in the pack is now,” Cullen smirked.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Aislinn asked in bemused concern. He chuckled at her. The walk to the cabin wasn’t long. Aislinn spent the entire time contemplating how to get Cullen to play a bit more before he went to work and smiling innocently at him when a frustrated growl told her that he knew what she was up to. When they got to the cabin Cullen opened the front door for her, and they stepped inside.

To look around the front room, you’d never know that there had been a battle there the day before, save the bloody spots on the floor. Cullen had her by the hand as they walked through the room. Aislinn hadn’t actually looked around before. There had been too much else going through her head.

The front doors opened into a large main room with a vaulted ceiling three floors high. There were doors on all the walls of the huge room and stairs that led to a balcony which circled the room and to the second and third floors. There were lots of overstuffed couches and chairs arranged around the room, so that several groups of people could sit and talk with each other in separate little areas. There was a gigantic fireplace on the far wall and the room as a whole was decorated with a lived-in, worn, comfortable, antique feel.

As Cullen and Aislinn walked through the room to the stairs, there was a lot of staring, but no one said anything. Aislinn noticed that everyone seemed to be in jeans and plain t-shirts. It almost looked like they were wearing uniforms. She supposed that no one had time to pack a bag before coming out here for the fight. They were all wearing clothes from the closet storeroom.

Cullen guided Aislinn up the stairs, along the third floor balcony, and through another set of doors at the end of the hall. Walking into his rooms, Aislinn smiled. The rooms could almost be a replica of his bedroom back at the Madadh-Allaidh Saobhaidh. There was a lot of dark blue. The first room they walked into had a desk, a couple book shelves, and a sitting area with a television and a couch, similar to the ones downstairs. There were a two doors on opposite walls. One led to the bathroom and the other to the bedroom.

Cullen went into the bedroom and over to his dresser to pull out some clothes. “I’m gonna get a shower. I’d bring you along,” he smiled at her, “but I don’t think we’d get out of here before next week if I did.”

Aislinn smiled back and stretched out on his bed. His eyes followed her cat-like movements and he had to force himself to head for the bathroom. She was so comfortable lying on his bed and cuddling with the pillows that smelled so much like him that she fell asleep the instant Cullen was out the door.

* * * *

Aislinn knew the minute the dream turned from a simple walk through her imagination to a nightmare of a premonition. She didn’t know if she should be proud of herself for coming to the point where she could consciously recognize it ,or if she should be terrified. The battle wasn’t over yet. She was padding on four feet through the Tairneach manor. The rooms were all dark. Aislinn felt drawn through the building. She was compelled to keep going. The stairwell seemed to be ten times longer than it had looked when she was there. The white marble floors were ice under her feet. When she reached the top of the stairs, there was a long hallway. Again the hall seemed longer than it should have been. By the time she reached the open door at the end of the hall, she knew she was too late.
Too late for what?

Aislinn walked into the room, and she felt as though she was shrinking. Or the room was getting bigger. There was a desk against a wall, and a light on it. She had to jump to get into the chair and then again to get onto the desk. She felt as though she was being watched. She slunk against the desk, flat on her belly, toward the light. It was shining down on a book.

Aislinn jumped up onto the book and walked across the Gaelic writing. It was hand written. She stared down at the scrawl, trying to make out what it said.

* * * *

As Cullen showered, a strange feeling of fear and fascination filled the back of his mind. He didn’t think that Aislinn was in trouble, but he knew that something was happening. He cut his shower short and went back to the bedroom, toweling himself off as he walked.

In his bedroom, Cullen smiled uncertainly at the sight of Aislinn curled around one of his pillows. He padded over to the bed and stood there watching her. Something was upsetting her in her sleep. Even knowing that she wasn’t really in danger his wolf was feeling rather protective, wanting to keep her safe even in her dreams. He didn’t know if he should wake her or not. Finally he decided that holding her might drive away whatever was bothering her. Cullen was in the process of dropping the towel and joining her in the bed, when a knock on the door tore through his thoughts.

I’m gonna kill him,
Cullen thought angrily, as his wolf took over his senses. Aislinn’s fear had brought Cullen’s other half close enough to the surface that the thought was much more real than Cullen intend. The violent shift in Cullen’s mood shot through Aislinn, waking her.

She turned groggily to see what was going on, just in time to hear a door crash and then a body slamming against a hard surface. It took a moment for her mind to clear. She had been trying to read the book and was attempting to bring the image of the words back to her mind, but nothing was coming.

Cullen’s anger seemed to call to her, and she hurried out of the bedroom. When Aislinn got to the door she saw Cullen, in his hybrid form. He had Keith by the shirt, back against the wall. Keith’s eyes were submissively lowered, as Cullen growled menacingly at his friend.
Do I need to give you a reminder lesson about how I ended up in charge around here?

Keith bowed his head and raised his hands apologetically. “Cul, I just came up to tell you about the sat-phone call I made. I didn’t mean to barge in.”

Aislinn could feel Cullen’s common sense warring with his wolf. Seeing her at the doorway, Keith looked up with a warning, as if to tell her to stay back. Cullen picked him up higher and bashed him against the wall, regaining Keith’s full attention, and making him wince as his head cracked against the wall. “Cul, I’ll leave. Really. Just put me down.”

Disregarding Keith’s warning, Aislinn walked up to them and put her hand on Cullen’s arm. “Cullen,” she asked in confusion. Keith seemed to brace himself for something awful to happen. To his surprise Cullen calmed immediately and lowered him to the floor, but had yet to let go.

Aislinn leaned in and nuzzled against his arm. “Are you okay,” she asked softly. She could feel that he wasn’t.

It took Cullen a moment to force the wolf back, but even his wolf seemed to be responsive to Aislinn. Cullen felt his wolf backing down like a little kid who’d gotten caught doing something bad. When he regained his human form, Cullen looked at Keith and released his friend’s shirt. He shot Keith an apologetic look, and Keith nodded back indignantly.

“Like I said before,” Keith growled. “You need to get the ceremony dealt with. And with how worked up you are, you may need a month off instead of a week.”

Cullen nodded, taking Keith’s joke serious enough that his friend drew in a deep breath and shook his head uncertainly.

Rubbing his face with both hands, Cullen tried to regain his composure. “You’d better watch how you come in here for a while. Maybe we should just announce it. If I’m going to start going off on people like that, it could be dangerous.”

Aislinn was wide eyed. “You don’t mean that was normal?”

Cullen growled. “Only if you don’t let it run its course. Technically, I should only get like that when you’re in heat.”

Aislinn shook her head. “Maybe I should sit in on that elementary class that Sarah was talking about before.”

Cullen smiled, then chuckled and kissed her forehead. “If you like. But Keith is a big boy. He could have handled a pummeling. He probably did something recently that deserved it anyway.”

Keith grumbled at that. “Thanks,” he said angrily. “You do realize Aislinn, he can turn on you when he gets like that, and unless you like it really rough then that little move you pulled, as grateful as I am, could get you hurt.”

Cullen took a deep breath, and Aislinn could tell that he agreed with Keith.

She smiled at Cullen. “No. He wouldn’t hurt me,” she said with an air of confidence that made both of them stare at her. “Anyway. I’m going to get a shower now, if there’s enough time before we need to leave?”

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll get some clothes brought up for you.” He leaned in and nuzzled her neck. “Make sure you clean up that bite so it doesn’t get infected.”

Aislinn kissed him on the cheek and disappeared into the bathroom. Watching her go, his eyes flashed, as the wolf tried to surface again. “I’ve got a problem,” he said after the door closed.

“That appears to be an understatement. I wouldn’t have expected you to attack me. Are you sure you can hold out? I mean maybe you two need to disappear for a while.”

Cullen seriously considered Keith’s suggestion, as he walked into his bedroom with Keith on his heels. “That’d be too obvious. Besides,” he said contemplatively, “Aislinn seems to be in control of herself pretty well, and apparently she can bring me back to earth. I’ll just make sure to get to bed early and sleep late. I’ve caused enough upheaval for the time being. If I were to announce that I took Aislinn as a mate without going through the steps, then I’d be risking loyalty issues. The people who’ve been moaning about her being like Rafe or non-lycan would be all about her having screwed with my head. They’d make everyone else start doubting my actions, especially with that charge to her rescue I pulled. I realize he was threatening our territory, and I would have dealt with him even if Aislinn hadn’t been involved, but it would have gone differently. All my decisions are starting to get questioned. Not to mention they’d be all over Aislinn, and she’s having a hard enough time fitting in and dealing with all the changes she’s gone through as it is.” Cullen pulled his shirt over his head. “I need everyone to keep following my lead without question. Same as they always have. I have to admit that I’m a little pissed that there’s so much random doubt about me right now. Decades of consistent leadership and one lousy detour from the road I paved for them and they’re all acting as if I’m a different lycan. On top of that, Jenna is still questionable, and the feds are watching us. The last thing I need is being questioned and doubted. Hell, they’ve all fallen out of shape. Do you realize that it took all muin day to mobilize? Thirty years ago it would have been an hour, tops. This may sound ignorant but I’m starting to think that all these years of peace and quiet have been too much. Without a threat outside the pack, we apparently aren’t strong enough to hold together.” Cullen’s voice got increasingly more agitated as he spoke.