Lace and Sin (Sinners Series Book 1) (14 page)

"I'm not saying I love you, Kayla" he says,
and I find myself frowning a tiny bit, "But I'm not saying I won't either.
You don't see how amazing you are. You think all these things you do or did in
the past are going to chase me away, but it's half of those things that make us
similar in more ways than one, it’s half of those things that pull me towards
you, darlin."

I blink up at him, the water still showering down on
us. We're standing under the spray of hot water just looking at each other, and
all I can think of doing is kissing him for all that he's done for me tonight.
The date, getting to know Jimmy, taking care of me even though I still think I
don't need it, and all the sweet things he's said. I wrap my arms around his
neck and lean in close to his lips, but kiss his cheek softly instead. He grins
and turns his head so our lips meet, and he gives me a soft, sweet kiss.

Before he pulls away though I pull him closer against
me and kiss him harder, and his tongue slips into my mouth and moves against my
own. He groans and fumbles with the shower turning it off, never letting his
lips leave mine, then picks me up and starts carrying me out of his bathroom
and into his room, naked, wet, and ridiculously turned on.

Chapter 15

Carter

I carry her slick, wet body towards the bedroom, my
dick hard as a rock between her legs as I kiss along her soft warm skin. She’s
driving me nuts, literally fucking nuts, and I can’t decide whether I love it,
or want to drive her equally insane.

I decide both are great options, for starters, I can't
get enough of her. I lay her down on the bed, her hair spread out around her in
a sexy, wet mess, and she doesn't bother covering up when my eyes do a slow
perusal of her laying naked and wanting on my bed.

In fact, she quirks her finger for me to come closer
with the sexiest fucking look on her face, and who am I to deny this gorgeous
woman something she wants.

I press my knee down onto the mattress, but instead of
climbing on top of her I wrap my hand around her ankle and slide her closer
towards me. She laughs, which makes me grin like an idiot as I kiss my way down
her leg.

"Carter..." she says in a breathy tone that
makes me swell with pride knowing I'm making her feel like this. I look up at
her from my position between her legs, my stubble no doubt rubbing against her
thighs, "Yeah babe?"

"Come here" she practically whispers, so I
do as I'm told and slide up against her, her perfect tits slick against my bare
chest.

"What do you want, Kay?" I ask, because some
twisted part of my brain, that I doubt has ever been used, is begging for her
to say she wants me. That she wants more of me.

I keep my eyes on her as she slides her hand down my
side and reaches for my cock, then takes it in her small hand. She rubs the tip
against her opening, and I swear I almost go cross eyed just from that movement
itself.

"You Carter, I want you" she says.

I can't help but grin no matter what way she means it,
because those words coming out of her mouth make me feel like a king. She still
has a firm grip on me as I start to slide in further, as far as I can go, until
I'm in completely. It feels amazing, until I realise why it feels so amazing -
I'm not wearing a fucking condom.

"Kay, I need to stop, I'm not wearing
anything" I say, jaw tense as my hips move out of their own accord in a
slow, leisurely roll. She shakes her head from side to side, as her eyes
squeeze shut tight before she whispers "Don't stop, Carter, it’s
okay."

I don't stop. Somewhere in my mind there's a little
voice telling me I should stop, because we haven't had the ex's talk, or the
how many people have you slept with before talk, or even the can you get
pregnant talk, because in no fucking way do I want kids at any point in the
near future. Can you picture me as a dad? What a fucking joke.

Her hands make their way down across my back, and she
does some little swivel of her hips that has me seeing stars, literally
shutting up that voice inside my head. Stop now - are you insane?

My lips move down to hers and I find myself kissing
them in soft, sweet little kisses, until I realise that we're not fucking. No.
In fact, what I've never done but find I'm going crazy over is us…now…making
love instead of fucking. I used to think people were insane to think there was
a difference, but shit, I sure know the difference now.

Then I realise even more how much I love the little
sounds that are escaping her lips every time I move against her. The only way I
can describe it is like little moans of delight when you're eating your
favourite dessert, or the blissful feeling type moment when you first lick the
delicious flavoured ice cream. When you close your eyes to savour the taste and
that soft little 'mmm' comes out of your mouth.

I lean down on my elbows and my hand automatically
goes up to press my palm against her face. A soft, gentle stroke of my finger
against her cheek that has her opening her eyes and looking directly into mine.

She's feeling something other than this hatred or
sorrow, and it's because of me. It's because of me that there's a smile on her
face that could light up a fucking room. It's because of me that she's moaning
in pleasure and begging for more, but it's because of us together that has her
breathing my name when she comes and me coming right along with her.

I don't want to move a muscle as I lay on top of her,
her tits squished just nicely against my chest. Even though I've asked to make
sure, apparently I'm not crushing her and making it hard to breathe - thank
fuck because I wouldn't have moved either way.

Her fingers move softly against the muscles on my back
- up and down, up and down in soft, leisurely strokes. My face is pressed
against her neck, and even though I washed her in my own body wash, or used my
shampoo, there’s still a trace of whatever makes her smell like her.

I'm getting kind of sappy, and surprisingly she hasn't
wanted to run out of my apartment after that, because we both know the
difference between fucking and that, whatever that was.

I decide to break the silence, "What’s your
favourite colour?” I ask stupidly.

“What…I don’t get two choices this time?” she giggles,
making her chest move beneath me.

I don’t say anything, but instead lift my head away
from the hollow of her neck and look down at her, resting on my elbows.

We spend hours talking shit, asking stupid questions,
and I swear when my alarm starts ringing at six in the morning, I still haven’t
slept an ounce. I think I was apprehensive that as soon as my eyes closed she’d
try to sneak out and go home. So my arms were wrapped up nice and tight around
her waist like a vice, not that she moved much in her sleep anyway.

She reaches outwards and stretches her arms, her chest
pushing upwards with the movement. My eyes automatically look down. She gives
me a soft, sleepy smile, which I swear is the most fucking adorable thing I’ve
ever seen.

“Morning” she says, her voice slightly husky and still
a little sleepy.

“Morning” I say with a grin, and watch as she gets up
to get dressed. I realise I should have been at work an hour ago, so I get out
of bed and follow after her, not in the least bit rushed to get there.

I give her a lift home, and what surprises me most, is
the little sweet kiss she gives me before jumping out of the car and rushing
inside with a grin on her face. I watch the wind whip her hair around her face,
and then pull away from the curb before I stare like an idiot any longer.

Chapter 16

Carter

I end up spending the day looking out for her, wanting
her to sneak up to my office, or even grab lunch together – but she’s nowhere
to be seen. I take matters into my own hands and decide to get her up here, if
I’m acting unprofessional or not I don’t give a shit. Crap maybe she’s avoiding
me?

I press the speaker button on my office phone and wait
for Emy to answer at reception.

“Yes, Mr Monroe?” she answers sweetly.

“Can you do me a favour and get Adam from level eight
to send up his assistant, I … have some stuff for him” I finish stupidly.

“Sure thing, sir” she replies and hangs up the phone.
I wait patiently, check my emails, and after about ten minutes my phone stars
ringing.

“Hey Jimmy” I answer, probably sounding slightly disappointed.

“Hey dipshit, what’s up your ass?”

“Nothing man. What’s up?”

“Just making sure you were out of bed is all, and
ready for tonight?” his accent stronger with his enthusiasm.

Shit, to be honest I actually forgot. My silence must
speak volumes because he chuckles before saying, “You bloody forgot didn’t
you?”

“She’s kinda fucking with my head to be honest” I
admit, knowing he’ll know who I’m talking about.

“You’re not worried she’s gonna get mixed up in all
our problems?”

“She’s got just as many as us Jimmy, with Mikhalov
too. I’ll tell you all about it tonight.”

He doesn’t answer straight away, no doubt mulling
everything over before finally saying, “Can’t you just let her go?”

“I can’t…that’s the fucking problem, I’ve tried. She’s
the same as you though, she tried telling me not to do all this, but I can’t
help myself man.”

“Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later, you
realise that, right? You can’t live your life pushing people away, because I
sure as fuck ain’t gonna marry you and keep you happy” he laughs.

“Who said anything about marrying someone? Look she
just…”

“She gets you?” he interrupts me before I can finish.
I can’t figure out whether he’s laughing at the cliché or being serious. I
scrub my hand down my face just as there’s a knock on the door.

“Yeah man, she just gets me” I say to Jimmy and then
tell her to come in, only to be momentarily confused because it’s not even her.
It’s some bright eyed intern that I saw with her a few times around the office.

“Uh, I gotta go Jimmy, I’ll call you later” I say and
hang up.

Is she that desperate to ignore me? I thought we’d
left this morning on good terms, both letting our walls down slightly more than
I guess we’d first wanted, but maybe I’m wrong I don’t know. Maybe she’s scared
because she let me in so much, or because I’m guessing it’s the first time in a
long time someone’s treated her like something more than a pawn in their own
game.

The intern grins at me widely and takes the few steps
between the door and my desk, waiting for the non-existent documents I was
supposed to be giving Adam. I stand up, my chair rolling away slightly with my
movement.

“Where’s Kayla?” I ask, not even attempting to be less
obvious.

She looks slightly taken aback but then rambles on
about Kayla - the girl who she sat next to, the girl who was really pretty (not
that I need a reminder), the girl who always seemed distracted, who apparently
handed in her resignation yesterday because of family troubles.

“Oh the poor thing, I can’t imagine what she’s going
through right now” she finishes.

“Yeah poor thing” I add as I grab my phone off my desk
to text her.

“Did you still need me to drop something off to Mr
Richards?” she asks, reminding me she’s still here.

“Oh no, that’s alright…thanks” I say, barely looking
up at her as she nods and walks out of the room.

Me: Everything okay?

I erase that and try again…

Me: …

Shit, I don’t know what to say. Am I over-thinking all
this shit? Surely she wouldn’t quit just because…well just because what? I mean
things haven’t changed that much have they?

I decide to leave it - I don’t call and I don’t text.
She said she didn’t want a relationship and maybe I freaked her out by being so
pushy, by inserting myself into her life so much.

I leave early because of what Jimmy and I have to do,
but by six that night my fingers are itching to call her, to see if
everything’s alright. Maybe to just simply hear her voice which I know is
fucking insane. My phone starts ringing from the kitchen as I throw my hoodie on,
and yet again I find myself disappointed.

“Hey man, I’m coming out now” I answer the phone to
Jimmy.

I throw on my boots, barely managing to get the laces
done up before I’m out the door and heading to the front of my building. I find
him waiting by his idling car right out the front, as a snotty woman shakes her
head at him for parking in a no park zone. He sees me come out and flicks his
cigarette away, before jumping back behind the wheel.

“No Kayla?” he asks straight up.

I shake my head slightly, “Just drive west, I’ll give
you directions” I say and decide fuck it – I can’t do the asshole thing and not
call her. Her phone rings three times before someone finally answers, to my
surprise that someone is Alek.

“About fucking time man” he says into the phone as
greeting.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, suddenly a little apprehensive
as to why he’s answering her phone and not her.

“Well, I’m sure you’ve done nothing wrong because the
sun shines out your ass, but she’s been upstairs ever since we finished arguing
this morning” he groans. Arguing about what?

“Upstairs?” is all I seem to manage to ask though,
because I have no idea what he’s talking about.

“Just get your ass over here, because I’m guessing
that’s why she’s not…herself.”

“Right…on my way” I say, and hang up.

I manage to tell Jimmy how much Mikhalov fucked up her
life just as much as ours, before we pull up out front of her brownstone, three
story apartment building. I assumed each level was a different apartment, but
now that I think about it, maybe they own more if not the whole thing.

I jog up the few front steps, and Alek opens the door
before I even manage to knock.

“Look she’s probably going to kill me for telling you
to come over, but I fucked up, okay?”

“Alek I have no idea what the hell you’re on about, is
she okay or is she not okay?”

“She’s fine. I just … she seems different with you and
I couldn’t figure out whether that was a good or bad thing. I said some shitty
things to her about you, and she kinda put me in my place when she told me what
happened to you and how you hate Mikhalov just as much as us.”

I rub the back of my neck awkwardly, because I can’t
be mad at her for telling Alek anything because I literally just did the same
thing with Jimmy. We both turn to look at the steps as Jimmy jogs up to the
front door, taking two steps at a time.

“So are they coming or not?” Jimmy asks and pulls out
a cigarette before lighting it up. He leans against the little rail as he looks
between the two of us. After I told him how much she felt she needed revenge,
Jimmy thought both her and Alek would be a great deal of help to everything we
had planned ourselves.

I introduce them quickly, and leave them out in the
cold on the front steps as I make my way upstairs. Jimmy will hopefully fill Alek
in on what we’re doing and convince him to help us out tonight.

I take the few remaining steps quietly, and turn my
head an inch when I hear the soft music. I pop my head around the doorway, and
turn to look at the giant empty expanse of the second floor in awe. It looks
like a home gym takes up the entire floor, but I see more intricate bars and
equipment set up throughout.

She hasn’t noticed me in the doorway yet, but I sure
as fuck noticed her. She’s on a balance beam doing a handstand, and I watch as
she slowly separates her legs in the air into splits. She holds that position
for a while, before leaning a little to one side, then shakily but gently
lifting one hand off the beam.

I watch fascinated as she balances on one hand upside
down like some fucking ninja, before her head tilts my way and she completely
loses balance, falling off the beam and landing on the mat underneath her with
a soft oomph.

“You alright, darlin?” I ask as I take the few steps
towards her. She leans up on her elbows and quirks her brow.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you that’s all” she smiles a
little, and I’m kind of relieved to know she’s not mad at me for whatever
reasons I seem to have built up in my head.

“So you’re not up here hiding?”

“Hiding? No, I’m not hiding” she giggles, and I grin
at the sound like the total dipshit that I am. I sit down next to her,
stretching my legs out, crossing them at the ankles, and leaning my head
against the beam behind us.

“So Alek says you’re mad at him” I say, not sure what
else to say. She scoffs a little and shakes her head.

“He exaggerates” she rolls her eyes, “just because someone doesn’t want to talk
to you anymore doesn’t mean they’re mad at you.”

“It kind of does” I grin, “So why have you been up
here all day then if you’re not hiding?”

“Clears my head” she grins playfully and tilts her
chin up to face me better.

Before I can ask what's on her mind she continues -
"You, Carter…have got my mind a little misdirected."

"Misdirected?"

"I should be focusing..." she stops mid-sentence
and looks at me again, tiny smile playing at the corner of her lips.

“On?” I push her to continue.

“On what I’ve had my mind focused on for the last
fifteen years, but you know what?” she says as she pushes herself up, and then
gracefully extends her leg out and over my own. I watch her hungrily as she
slides herself on to me so she’s straddling me, and places her palms on my
chest.

“What, Kay?” I ask, licking my lips.

She slowly runs her fingers up and down my chest,
before wrapping one of her warm little hands around the back of my neck. Her
soft lips press a light kiss to my cheek, then another on my lips.

“I like how you clear my head, give me something else
to think about Carter.”

“And what is it that you think about?”

“The way your hands feel on me” she says as she runs
her own fingers lightly down her sides, “the way you drive me crazy and make me
want you so badly” she says as she keeps running her fingers lower, and puts
them right where I want to be touching her. I can’t help but groan a little.

“Especially here.”

I can’t hold back anymore as all my self-control
disintegrates with every word she says, with every touch she places I lose all
my willpower.

I slide my fingers into her hair as I crush my mouth
to hers, wanting to taste her, to claim every bit of her. She moans softly
against my lips, as I slide my tongue into her mouth and take everything she’s
giving me.

I slide my hand under her top just wanting that skin
to skin feeling, pulling her body closer against mine. She moves her hips
against me and I feel her grin when she feels just how hard I am for her.

“It’s not just this Carter” she says breathlessly
after pulling away a little, “it’s also how you’ve managed to make me laugh so
much in the last few weeks, when all I’ve had on my mind is so much hatred.”

“Glad to be of service” I smile playfully, but it
honestly feels like a huge accomplishment on my part for her to admit that.