Lace and Sin (Sinners Series Book 1) (12 page)

Again all I answer with is “Vengeance”, the same thing
I said when he asked what I wanted from Abram. I feel it the moment he puts the
two together, because his fingers freeze mid movement of playing with the ends
of my hair.

I slowly sit up to face him, to see his reaction, and
for the first time in literally ever, I want to tell someone the truth. To tell
them everything that’s happened, and everything I’ve got planned.

I cross my legs in front of me as I face him, my thigh
still leaning against his side - liking the contact between us too much. His
warmth and his presence give me this ease and reassurance, for what...I don’t
exactly know, but I like the feeling. I reach out a little and absently start
tracing patterns on his stomach with my fingers, just lightly touching over his
shirt. I can’t seem to look him in the eyes though, it’s starting to seem kind
of difficult with what I'm about to tell him.

He places his warm hand over the top of mine as I look
up at the night sky, and notice it’s starting to snow a little again. Not much
to stick, but enough for us to be able to see each snowflake slowly floating
down towards the ground and stick in my hair.

“Kayla… you don’t have to tell me more. I’m sorry for
saying anything at all” he tries to apologise, but I shake my head at him. He
has nothing to be apologising for, and I think that's one of the things I seem
to be starting to adore about him. He doesn't push me when he knows I don't
want to be pushed, but other times he knows what and how much I can handle.

“It’s okay. Being up here on this roof is kind of like
a safe zone or something – does that sound stupid?” I shrug and grin at him,
feeling slightly insane.

“Not at all. That’s why I took you up here, because
even though it’s in the middle of one of the busiest cities in the world, it’s
like there’s nothing around but you and your thoughts up here. I come up here
all the time.”

“If I tell you this Carter, if I share this huge part
of my life with you, I want to know I can trust you” I ask, and keep running my
fingers against him. He takes my hand and twists his fingers through mine,
instantly warming up my frozen hand. He gently pulls on my arm so that I lay
back down against him but I make sure I can see his face to see his reaction. I
lean up on my elbow so we’re facing each other, and he releases my hand, reaches
out and lightly skims his fingers along my cheek.

There he goes, being all sweet again.

“You can trust me…I promise” he answers simply, so I
nod with acceptance.

“My parents were…let’s just say not in a very legal
profession. They made a mistake of asking the wrong person for help and when
they wanted out, well…that person wasn’t too happy to let his best go so
easily.”

“Is this wrong person Abram by any chance?” he asks,
almost a whisper.

I nod once and shut my eyes, picturing the whole
night. My parents practically bursting through the door in a panic yelling at
me to hide, telling me they love me, telling me that no matter what I see and
no matter what they say to never come out.

“I watched Abram through the crack in the wall I was
hiding in. I watched as he tried to teach my parents a lesson for something
they didn’t do” my words start to flow out of me angrily, and I think he
notices because he gives my hand a gentle squeeze.

“I watched as he cleaned his stupid, fancy gun after
he was done, showing no remorse the whole time after he killed them” I finish,
clenching my hand into a fist around the bullet on my chain.

“So what are you going to do then?” he asks, and I’m
glad he’s not apologising for my loss, being all sympathetic and making me feel
weak, because I’m not. In fact, he sounds very accepting of the things I’ve
told him about Abram; as if he knows exactly the type of things he’s capable
of.

“Well…Firstly, I’m going to take away the things he
loves the most, the only thing really…which is his money.”

He grins at me and nods for me to go on.

“And then…I’m going to kill him.”

I realise I said that with a lot more courage than I
actually feel, and surprisingly Carter doesn’t seem to even flicker with any
emotion at that revelation. I watch as his mouth pulls into a grin, which
strikes me as an odd thing to do, considering he just heard someone else admit
to wanting to murder somebody.

“We have a lot more in common than I first thought
Kayla” he says and pulls me on top of him.

“Why are you grinning at me?” I ask and can’t help the
smile that crosses my face in response. I think it just feels liberating to
have told someone that, and on top of it all, he didn’t freak out like I
thought he would.

“Because he fucked with my family, so your plan sounds
kind of perfect to me, except the killing…Not sure you’ve got a killer in you”
he says and taps my nose with his finger.

“Excuse me?”

He sighs, and starts to run his hand up and down my
spine as I lay comfortably on top of him. His body heat is overwhelmingly
welcome up here on this freezing rooftop.

“You remember Jimmy? Well we weren’t exactly
outstanding role models when we were a bit younger. My dad worked for Abram for
as long as I can remember, and Jimmy and I wanted to be just as important, just
as bad. So we did things, stupid things, for Abram.”

“The older we got, the more we wanted out just like
your mum and dad. We didn’t agree with a lot of things he did. Abram wanted my
dad’s entire company too, and I think my dad had something on Abram to get him
out of the picture. Next thing I know…he’s gone” he finishes and looks up into
my eyes.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

“Are you telling me, that you worked for Abram just
like your dad, and Abram killed him?” I ask shocked.

“Yeah…well, I can’t prove it just yet but I know it
was him. My dad was the healthiest fucking guy in New York he wouldn’t just
drop dead out of nowhere.”

“Is this the reason why anything I did didn’t scare
you off?”

He grins and nods at me, sliding his warm hands up my sides.
I pull the blanket over us so that we’re almost completely covered from head to
toe, and gently lean down and kiss his lips. We’re literally cocooned up in the
blanket, away from the falling snowflakes, and I’m finding myself getting
warmer by the second with his hands all over me.

I feel how hard he starts to get as his lips make
their way from my mouth down my neck. His warm hands slide under my sweater,
and finally grab hold of my tits. How are his hands still so warm?

I arch my back, pushing myself against him as I
straddle him. The blanket falls down behind me. I pull his beanie off my head,
and the cool air blows against my stomach as he lifts my sweater and exposes my
breasts. He pulls my bra down a little, and sits up so he can reach them. He
takes one nipple in his mouth, playing a little, teasing me, and then sliding
his hands up and into my hair.

We kiss like a couple of horny teenagers, eager to
reach every part of each other – touching, licking, and kissing. It’s gentler
though, with each touch of his hands or lips conveying the understanding, the
empathy, and all the things we want to say but don’t.

The more time I spend with Carter, the more I feel
like I’m finding something else to focus on, something much nicer than hatred
and vengeance. He gives me this sense of ease, even with a simple touch and
it’s literally so liberating, so freeing to think about something else, to
worry about something as trivial like whether he likes me or if he’s just using
me for a good time. I’m kind of hoping it’s not the latter. As much as I keep
telling him I don’t want a relationship, or I don’t usually do anything past a
one night stand, I think I’d be pretty gutted if he left – especially after
tonight.

Before we manage to go too far up on this rooftop,
which I’m kind of grateful for otherwise I’d freeze my tits off up here; he
stops and rests his forehead against mine.

“I’m sure this is as far as most people go on a first
date” he grins.

“Well, not wanting to sound too desperate, I guess
I’ll just have to agree with you” I laugh a little and roll off. We both just
lay there, his arm behind his head, both of us looking up at the stars.

“Tell me something else about you…doesn’t have to be
so major though” he says, keeping his eyes up to the stars.

“I almost broke Alek’s arm once when he ate my peanut
butter” I divulge.

“I said nothing major” he laughs, “did you really do
that?”

“Yup. So hands off my peanut butter” I giggle.

“Well, I broke my own arm jumping off Jimmy’s rooftop
once, back at his place in the UK” he says and pulls his arm up, rolls the
sleeve up a little and points to a spot on his arm. Not sure what he’s pointing
to since his arm is covered in tattoos, I look at him slightly confused.

He takes my hand and takes hold of my pointer finger,
then starts to run it against his forearm. I close my eyes instinctively and
feel the warmth of him, his muscles, until my finger runs over a little solid
bump in his arm.

“I had three pins put in my arm to hold it together
because I did that bad of a job on it” he chuckles.

“Battle scars hey?” I joke, but I wrap my hand around
his forearm and then slide it upwards. I tenderly wrap it around his neck and
then run my finger across his jaw. I roll slightly so that I’m leaning on his
chest, my chin resting on my hand with my palm flat against him.

He looks right at my face, eyes not straying from my
own. He’s absolutely stunning. Not just his looks, I’m not that superficial -
but in everything else, his ability to make me laugh and make me feel really desired
and valued as a person, and not for what I have to offer someone. His exterior
is this take-no-shit type but the more time I spend with him the more I see
this kind hearted, sweet guy, who would do anything necessary for those he
cares about.
Am I one of those people he cares about?

I admit I’ve given him a hard time since the beginning
and acted like a total bitch sometimes, but I think that’s my automatic
instinct to people trying to get into my life.
God I feel horrible now.

“Hey Carter.”

“Mmm?” he asks, returning his gaze back to me after
looking up at the sky again.

“I’m sorry for being so difficult and a total bitch
sometimes…”

He cuts my off with a shake of his head, and runs his
hand up from my arm and into my hair, running his fingers through the strands
gently.

“Don’t be sorry. You eventually caved so it’s all
good” he grins.

“Hey Carter” I say again.

“Yeah babe?”

“I killed my goldfish once when I was little, and
cried like a baby when I had to flush him down the toilet.”

Chapter 14

Kayla

We spent far longer up on the roof than Carter
planned, so now walking down West 51st Street towards Fifth Avenue; there are
only several people out in the winter’s cold air. Scurrying about in a hurry to
either get home, or do late night Christmas shopping

I don’t even ask where we’re going now - just content
to walk wherever he leads me, with his warm arm still wrapped around me
tightly. I might add I’m grinning like a total dipshit, and I don’t know
whether to be freaked out about how comfortable and happy I am right this
minute, or just allow myself to enjoy it.

We turn right into Rockefeller Plaza, and I suddenly
realise where we’re going.

“Are you taking me to the ice rink?” I ask him.

His only reply is a grin that I find myself swooning over.
Yes I said swooning –
My god what is
happening to me?

We get there just as they’re shutting up for the
night, so I stand near the edge of the ice rink looking out at the last few
skaters as Carter talks to one of the operators. I remember ice skating with my
mum when I was younger, so I have to admit that everything we’ve done on this
date has been perfect. After a few minutes the skaters make their way off and
Carter comes back with a grin on his face.

“They said they’re shutting up for the night so we
can’t rent skates…but I guess we don’t really need any, right?” he wiggles his
brows at me.

“Why Carter if I’m not mistaken…are you suggesting we
break onto the ice after hours?”

“Exactly” he beams and starts heading down the few
steps. Instead of opening the little latched door he hops over the short
barrier and almost ends ass up on the ice, waving his arms around trying to
stay upright. I laugh - in fact I laugh so hard my sides hurt.

“You good?”

“I’m always good, Kay” he says with a smirk, as he
finally gets himself balanced.

Kay - I test the new nickname out in my head. Even
though Kayla is already pretty short to begin with, I still find I actually
like it.

“Stop grinning at me and come over here” he
chuckles.
 

I tenderly slide my legs over the barrier and swing
them around. I gently put them on the ice and stand up straight once I’m over.
Not as bad as I imagined it to be without skates.

He shuffles his way across the ice, and even though
we’re not wearing skates it’s still as though we’re pretty much skating. He
gets closer to me and tugs his beanie off, then slides it on my head again with
a smirk. He tenderly moves my long hair to one side, and then gives me a quick
soft kiss on the lips, before turning around and sliding around on the ice
again.

I stand there motionless for a few minutes watching
him act like someone half his age, and then finally join him. Sliding my legs
as if I was skating on proper skates, I find it’s still quite easy with these
shoes on. We’re both grinning as we glide around on the ice, eyes never leaving
each other, except to look at our feet every once in a while to make sure we
don’t fall.

"Summer or Winter?" he asks, starting
another round of his entertaining get to know you questions. I stop sliding
across the ice and just watch as he does his thing, sliding from one end to the
other gradually. I tuck my hands into my jacket pockets, and watch as my breath
comes out in a white puff as I answer.

"That's kind of a tough one. I love the warmer
days when it's so hot you just want to go swimming or wear almost nothing
around the house, but..."

"There's a but to that?"

"But..." I continue, "I love winter,
especially days like today when it snows, because it reminds me of
Poland."

He stops sliding and stands there across the ice just
looking at me. I slide my hands down over the beanie just double checking it’s
still on properly, and try to walk closer towards him without landing on my
ass. I’m not usually scared easily, or even nervous for that matter, but around
Carter I’m finding myself questioning everything about myself – does my hair
look okay? Do I look graceful sliding on this ice, or like a baby giraffe
trying to walk for the first time? You know…the usual.

When I'm a few steps away, one of my feet slides out a
little to the side and I almost fall over, but luckily Carter grabs hold of my
arms to steady me. I take hold of the front of his jacket for extra support as
I look up at his gorgeous face. His wild, dark hair sticking up in a random
mess, and his cheeks flushed a soft, rosy red from the cold air.

"Hey Carter... “ I say, waiting for I don't know
what. When he doesn't say anything, and just stands there holding his gaze on
me, I finally grin and say, "I like you."

It's moments like this that make me realise how much
of a child I might be sometimes. Maybe it's the fact that I've never really
gone through that whole first date thing, or the falling in love type of
moments. I mean from the age of eleven all I thought about was how much I hated
the world, how cruel it was to take my parents from me. I learned to take guns
apart, not play with dolls. I learned how to fight, instead of what to do when
you like a boy, or god forbid one likes you back.

Carter tilts his head to the side a little as if contemplating
his response, and just grins at me, "How much, Kayla?"

"Hmm..." I make a big show of thinking,
placing my frozen hand against my chin, and tapping my fingers lightly.

"I like you..." I start, "Like bees
like their honey" I finish lamely.

"Are you saying I'm your whole world? You do
realise honey is a bees whole life, right?" he grins and laughs softly.

"Oh, that's a bit much for a first date, isn't
it" I grin back, and surprisingly he just shrugs as if he wouldn’t even be
bothered if that were the case.

"Okay, Okay....I like you like..." I think
for a moment, "Like a fat kid loves cake" I say. Shit I hope he
doesn't pick up that I just said love instead of like.
Honest mistake I
swear.
This one’s been floating
around the internet for a while now so he’s bound to know it.

"Heard it before" he grins, confirming what
I was just thinking.

"I just like you, okay?" I smirk up at him
as he wraps his arms around my waist, and tugs me a little closer against him.

"I like you too, Kayla."

***

Somehow after our little declarations of mutual
likeness like twelve year olds, we ended up at Jimmy's bar until he closed. We
spent half the time talking shit with Jimmy, me listening intently while he
told me stories of a younger Carter. I managed to get out of him that they used
to steal cars for Mikhalov -which is most definitely interesting. Jimmy met
Carter when they were sixteen, when they were partnered up for community
service. Carter for breaking and entering, and Jimmy for possession of a gun
(which apparently wasn't even his). It was interesting to hear they were both
quite the trouble makers when they were younger, especially because none of
this came up on Carter’s record when Alek looked him up. Then again I’m sure my
records aren’t exactly reliable.

Every time Carter left us to go to the bathroom, Jimmy
would tell me how Carter's never brought a girl around to meet him, or that
Carter's usually quite a private and reserved person. I found that hard to
believe considering how persistent he was when we first met, or how literally
the first time we went out together, he took me to Jimmy's bar.

While we waited for him to close up we sat at the bar
having a few drinks, while Jimmy counted his earnings for the night, and tidied
up the counter and tables. I found myself not wanting the night to end, and one
thing led to another we all ended up back at Carter's place.

I let Alek know where I was going and quickly told him
about our little visit to the Mikhalov building. Somehow in his mind he sees
that as a wasted opportunity to get into Abram's office, so I ignored the
messages that came telling me I'm distracted, telling me I'm letting Carter
mess with my head. I especially tried to ignore the one that said Carter was
just going to forget about me in a week or so after he got bored, and that guys
like him don't want a happily ever after - but hey, who even said that's what I
was after?

Okay, the more I thought about it, the more I kind of
wanted that though. I wanted to be rescued for a change, I wanted to feel that
admiration from someone and know that they wanted you around, would do anything
to save you type thing. Either I was used to too much of a crazy life, or I
watched too many action movies where the guy rolls in and saves the girl in the
end.

I shake my head slightly, and focus on the things in
front of me.

"I call bullshit" I say confidently as I sit
across the table from Jimmy, Carter sitting at the head of the table next to
us. Jimmy keeps a strong poker face as he turns his cards over - a nine of
spades, a nine of hearts, and a random three. He grins once they're all facing
up, and we see he was in fact bluffing.

"Ha, I knew it" I say proudly, especially
because I seem to catch either of them every time they bluff in our late night
game of Bullshit. We decided that every time you get busted lying, you have to
have a shot. So now an hour or so into the game, Carter's dining table is
covered with playing cards, random bottles of alcohol, shot glasses, and small
sticky patches of where the alcohol spilled while pouring shots.

He scrunches his face a little before picking up his
shot glass, filling it to the brim with tequila, and lifting it to his lips.

"If I'd know this is how the game was going to
play out, I would've gone home after work" Jimmy laughs and coughs a
little after having his shot.

Carter laughs but then puts down the cards in his hand
and stretches out, arms lifting up and reaching outwards. His shirt lifts a
little, and I catch a glimpse of the tattooed skin above his waistband. I
involuntarily find myself licking my lips, and quickly look back up to his face
to find him watching me with a huge, cheeky smirk on his face
. Busted.

"Hey Jimmy, I think I have a bottle of Belvedere
in the freezer, you mind getting it?" Carter suddenly says.

"Sure, I gotta piss anyway" he replies and
stands up, putting his cards face down on the table, "No peeking" he
adds, and makes his way down the hallway to the bathroom.

I sit there silently, looking at my cards, looking
down the hallway and back onto my cards again as if I forgot what ones I just
saw in my hand. Carter stands quietly, takes the few steps closer towards me
and squats next to me. He pulls the leg of my chair with a loud scrape against
the floor, so that we’re now face to face. He flattens his palms over my
thighs, and slowly inches his way higher. I feel his warm touch sending a spark
of excitement straight to my core, as his hands make their way further upwards.
His fingers slip under my tank top and run gently against my waist band, then
continue their journey upwards.

"Jimmy's gonna be out in a minute" I say,
barely getting the words out of my mouth.

He doesn't stop though, instead moves his hands higher
and pulls down the cups of my bra with a devilish grin. I close my eyes and
tilt my head back, letting this sensation take over me, the feeling of his
rough and slightly calloused hands touching me.

I want him to never stop, yet at the same time knowing
he has to, because Jimmy is literally a few rooms down and bound to enter to an
eyeful of tits if Carter doesn't cut it out. We hear the toilet flush and the
bathroom sink running, so Carter fixes my bra, and then regretfully slides his
hands out from under my top, placing them flat on my thighs again.

"You want to stay over tonight?" he asks
softly and tilts his head a little, giving off this lost puppy dog vibe that I
don't think he realises he's throwing off. I quickly look at the time and see
that it's just after three in the morning, and find myself nodding to his question.
I mean come on, who can say no to someone who looks like him, especially with
the face he's making.

He wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pulls
me a little closer, pressing his lips softly to mine, just as Jimmy comes back
from the bathroom.

"Well...I think that's my cue to leave" he
says and rocks back onto the balls of his feet, hands deep in his pockets.