L8r, G8r (39 page)

zoegirl:

hola, madikins. big bunny is gone 4ever, squeezed out by the Crusty Pines Executive Housing Complex, Phase III.

mad maddie:

ah, the end of an era. and with big bunny gone, susie, lulu, and round-headed boy r safe and sound.

zoegirl:

they wouldn't be if it wasn't for susie

mad maddie:

so true. we can learn a lot from susie, can't we?

zoegirl:

like what?

mad maddie:

like …

mad maddie:

like that the forest is out there whether we like it or not, and we can't just stay in our pretty houses and lock the doors. we have to make the bold move. but what we CAN do, when we venture bravely forth, is be aware of giant pink bunnies. that's the lesson we all should heed!

zoegirl:

ohhhhh. i thought it was that only a few people like bunnies and trees, but everybody likes executive housing complexes.

mad maddie:

look at you, quoting the bunny! nice!

zoegirl:

tina and arlene came by today. the jehovah's witnesses. i think we've reached the end of an ear there, 2.

zoegirl:

oops—end of an ERA.

mad maddie:

if it was the end of an ear, they'd be like vincent van gogh, who cut off his own ear. did you know that?

zoegirl:

as a matter of fact i did

mad maddie:

can you imagine cutting off your own ear? and then afterward holding it in your hand and being like, “huh. not so sure why i did that …”

zoegirl:

not something i see myself doing

mad maddie:

no, i suppose not

mad maddie:

so why was it the end of an era with tina and arlene?

zoegirl:

i think they've had enough of me and my heathen ways, that's all. even though in reality i'm so *not* a heathen.

mad maddie:

let's consider. you lied to your parents about your princeton application. you had (and are continuing to have) pre-marital sex—and in a CHURCH, no less! you hitched an illegal ride in the back of jana's car …

mad maddie:

yr sure yr not a heathen?

zoegirl:

God is bigger than all that—what's important is that we try to be good people. that's what i told tina and arlene.

mad maddie:

did you tell them about the pre-marital sex part?

zoegirl:

yes. bet you thought i didn't, huh? but i'm not ashamed of it.

mad maddie:

what did they say?

zoegirl:

arlene looked extremely disapproving, and tina—she's the young one—looked shocked. arlene said something like, “well, everything happens for a reason,” implying that i could learn from my mistakes. but i was like, “i don't believe that.”

mad maddie:

you don't believe we can learn from our mistakes?

zoegirl:

no, i don't believe everything happens for a reason. people who say that are imagining God up in the sky, making things happen. but in reality, WE'RE the ones who make things happen. and when crappy things happen anyway, WE choose how to respond. that's what i meant.

mad maddie:

tell that to glendy, will ya? she's definitely a “hand in the sky” kind of gal, altho for her it's more superstition than God.

zoegirl:

she sent you another chain letter?

mad maddie:

yeah, but this one's FOR REAL!!! (note ironic use of all caps)

mad maddie:

i'm supposed to tell everyone i love how much they mean to me, and if i don't, i'll have bad luck
for the rest of my lifelong days. oh, and i was supposed to do it within the hour. whoops.

zoegirl:

i can't believe you didn't. don't you love me???

mad maddie:

of course i do, i just don't need any stupid email telling me to proclaim it.

zoegirl:

awwww

zoegirl:

you honestly can block her name from your account, you know.

mad maddie:

she'd just hack her way back in.

mad maddie:

anywayz, it'd be a shame to let such drivel go to waste. one of these days i'm gonna come up with a genius use for glendy's crapmails, just wait and see! 1 of these days i'm gonna

zoegirl:

yr gonna what?

mad maddie:

ooo, baby, i gots to go—i's been inspired!

SnowAngel:

tomorrow's senior mudslide! yeahhhhhhh! *takes flying jump onto oozing hill of mud*

mad maddie:

what a great way to go—last day of classes and an oozing hill of mud.

mad maddie:

you gonna try to pull anybody in?

SnowAngel:

heck yeah! mrs. evangelista, if she's foolish enuff to come near me. that'll be her payment for sticking us with our sucky take-home exam!

mad maddie:

i'm so jealous of zo. after tomorrow, she's DONE. as in, kaput, finito, no more classes and not a single exam. so unfair!

SnowAngel:

quit complaining. at this point, final exams r just a formality. it's all about closure, baby.

mad maddie:

so. dude. you said something in the parking lot about an idea you had—then zoe came up and the convo somehow veered off. what's the scoop?

SnowAngel:

right, i'm so glad you remembered!

SnowAngel:

friggers, i just spilled my coffee all over my frickin shirt. one sec.

SnowAngel:

k sorry, i'm back

mad maddie:

i once spilled an entire dr pepper on the keyboard of my laptop. totally ruined it.

SnowAngel:

ooo, sux for you

mad maddie:

so, yer idea?

SnowAngel:

well … i think we should all wear our hair in pigtails tomorrow! for National Pigtails Day!

mad maddie:

i'm drawing a blank. nat'l pigtails day?

SnowAngel:

from zoe's princeton essay! when we say “screw it” to being a grown-up and wear our hair in pigtails and slide down the mud hill and just have fun!!!

mad maddie:

ohhh

SnowAngel:

plus we would look so cute. plus it would be a way of saying “yay for us,” cuz sure, we're graduating from high school, but that doesn't mean we're letting go of our carefree youth.

SnowAngel:

you in?

mad maddie:

YEAH!

mad maddie:

should i be pumping my hand wildly in the air? somehow that seems appropriate.

SnowAngel:

pump away, babycakes. and then call zo and tell her our plan, now that we've both agreed. i can't, cuz i've gotta help aunt sadie get ready for her SEX TOY PARTY which is tonite. ahhhhhh!

mad maddie:

buy me some fudge-flavored body icing? plz plz plz?

SnowAngel:

to use with ian? ooh-la-la!

SnowAngel:

OH, and don't forget to turn in your senior quote! tomorrow's the last day to get it in if you want it included in the graduation program!!!

SnowAngel:

you outta the shower?

mad maddie:

yeb'm, altho that mud took some serious scrubbing.

mad maddie:

shall i come get you for our supa-dupa celebration?

SnowAngel:

first let's enjoy the moment … altho we can't w/o zoe, now can we?

mad maddie:

do-over, and include zoe too

SnowAngel:

friends! 'ello!

zoegirl:

hi!!! i was hoping y'all wld text!

mad maddie:

heya, zo. were you able to salvage your sneaks?

zoegirl:

no, they're goners. oh well.

SnowAngel:

you should have gone barefoot *wags finger in zoe's face*

SnowAngel:

you looked adorable in your pigtails, tho

mad maddie:

ahem. and me?

SnowAngel:

yes, maddie, you looked adorable 2. we ALL did. *preens happily*

zoegirl:

you guys, i can't tell you how much i loved it that we did that. i'll print up my phone pics tomorrow and make copies.

mad maddie:

i got a good shot of when doug pulled you in from the side, heh heh heh

SnowAngel:

omg, that was so funny!

zoegirl:

to you, maybe! you weren't the one tumbling headfirst into the slime!

SnowAngel:

you know you loved it

SnowAngel:

seems like things r better than ever with you guys, yeah?

zoegirl:

i guess so. i hope so!

zoegirl:

i still get worried about next year—sometimes to the point of hyperventilating—but then i just slow down and *breathe*. it is what it is, you know?

SnowAngel:

and what it IS is fabulous, schweetheart.

SnowAngel:

think about it: for all intents and purposes we r DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL 4-EVAH!!!

mad maddie:

and tonite we're celebrating with just us 3, right?

SnowAngel:

correctamundo

mad maddie:

no ian

zoegirl:

no doug

SnowAngel:

and NO JANA. i have washed my hair of that girl once and for all!

zoegirl:

altho i DO have something to say about her, real quick

SnowAngel:

nooooo *covers ears*

zoegirl:

no, this is good

zoegirl:

i couldn't help but notice her today, since she was totally showing off and playing to the crowd, and you know what i realized?

mad maddie:

that her thong was tracking mud into her woo-woo?

SnowAngel:

ewww!

zoegirl:

no, what i realized was that jana never won, even when we thought she did.

mad maddie:

how do you figure?

zoegirl:

think about it. maddie's back with ian, and they're like the couple of the century. i've gotten over (or at least am in the process of getting over) my codependency issues. and yes, jana slept with logan, but angela, you took yourself out for a solo date to houston's, cuz that's how strong you are!

SnowAngel:

hate to point it out, but i didn't take myself to houston's until AFTER you and jana had your showdown.

zoegirl:

the key elements were already there. you DID break up with logan before the showdown, after all. which was also before you knew he and jana had slept together.

mad maddie:

it's true. jana was beaten before she even began. and speaking of …

SnowAngel:

yesssss?

mad maddie:

well, even tho zoe is absolutely right, i decided jana needed a touch more winsome-threesome love to take with her after graduation. so i put in a little email to our friend the glendinizer.

SnowAngel:

no!

mad maddie:

i told her hi, and that i sure have appreciated her chain letters over the months. i mentioned that as a matter of fact, i knew a girl who could really benefit from said chain letters. i told her all about jana's tortured past, and suggested that deep down what jana needs is to be showered with love.

SnowAngel:

maddie!!!! *shrieks and has a coronary*

mad maddie:

i passed along all of jana's deets, and here's the real stroke of genius. i told glendy not to ever EVER give up, and that if anyone knows how to connect with others, it's her. think that pushed the right buttons?

SnowAngel:

jana's gonna have glendy latched on for life!

zoegirl:

you're awesome!

mad maddie:

aren't i?

SnowAngel:

*flings self to ground and hugs maddie's knees* i love you so much!

SnowAngel:

*hugs zoe's knees too* and you, of course! i have the two bestest friends in the universe, and we will
ALWAYS be there for each other … even if you guys r stupid idiots who feel compelled to go far far away to college, you naughty children!

mad maddie:

yr not gonna start guilt-tripping us again, r you? cuz angela, yr gonna have to get over it one day. you know that, don't you?

SnowAngel:

actually … i do

zoegirl:

you do?

SnowAngel:

just lemme explain something, something i've been thinking a lot about. when i lived in el cerrito last year—i have never been that lonely in my life. i missed you guys sooooo much.

mad maddie:

we missed you too

SnowAngel:

yeah, but you guys had each other. i was all alone. and it made me feel … un-whole. and i'm so afraid that's gonna happen again this fall.

zoegirl:

oh, angela!!!

SnowAngel:

but like i said, i've been thinking a lot about it, and—*gulp*—i'm gonna try really hard to stop being such a baby about it.

mad maddie:

you haven't been a baby about it, you've just …

SnowAngel:

been a baby about it. yeah.

SnowAngel:

but just cuz we're splitting up doesn't mean we're “splitting up.” i mean, we can visit each other, right?

zoegirl:

of course

SnowAngel:

and we have to text and call and skype every single day!!!

mad maddie:

DUH!

mad maddie:

(except maybe not skype *every* day. mark says that the freshmen who do that kinda get ragged on. like, cuz it makes it seem like they can't let go of home.)

SnowAngel:

can we still skype sometimes?

mad maddie:

of course

SnowAngel:

well ok then *straightens spine in a queenly fashion* maddie, you may go to santa cruz. and you, zoe, may go to kenyon. i give you my permission.

zoegirl:

thanks, angela. your support means the world to me.

mad maddie:

ah, dudes. life is good. in fact i had a zen moment about this very thong, when i was driving home from school all muddy and disgusting.

SnowAngel:

this very “thong”?

mad maddie:

*THING*, u freak

mad maddie:

the window was down and my music was blasting and i was like, i am the sun on my skin. i am the clouds in the sky. i'm everything i've ever seen or done or felt or heard, and one day i will be gone.

SnowAngel:

now THAT'S cheerful

mad maddie:

no, just … we're our own destiny, that's all. and one day we WILL be gone, so we better appreciate life while we can.

SnowAngel:

i get it. it's like my senior quote, from that beetles song: “blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.”

zoegirl:

i love it! that's a *great* quote, angela!

mad maddie:

but it's BEATLES, you doof. not scurrying little insects.

zoegirl:

mads, what'd you put for your quote?

mad maddie:

after much deliberation, i went with a classic that perfectly captures my life philosophy.

zoegirl:

which is?

mad maddie:

“there's something strange about that giant pink rabbit …”

zoegirl:

HA!

SnowAngel:

huh?

zoegirl:

i can't believe you … but then again, i totally can.

SnowAngel:

i don't get it. will someone plz explain?

mad maddie:

they're words of wisdom from my role model, the great and wonderful susie.

zoegirl:

who dared to enter the forest, and who triumphed despite all odds.

SnowAngel:

what forest? what odds?

mad maddie:

go to
big-bunny.com
and all will be revealed.