L8r, G8r (37 page)

SnowAngel:

uh oh *giggles uncontrollably*

zoegirl:

what?

SnowAngel:

that woman who called? turns out it wasn't emma-the-sex-toy-guru. it was emma, aunt sadie's personal banker!

zoegirl:

oh no!

SnowAngel:

they've got a late meeting tomorrow. THAT'S what she was referring to!

zoegirl:

and you told her to bring dildos! lots—all sizes!

SnowAngel:

why would a personal banker be entered into my
aunt sadie's phone as “dilemma”?! would you trust a banker called “dilemma”?

zoegirl:

maybe the point is that she *solves* dilemmas

zoegirl:

also, this emma person didn't enter herself into your aunt's phone as “dilemma.” your aunt sadie did, so you can't blame the banker lady.

SnowAngel:

i can if i want to!

SnowAngel:

she gave aunt sadie this huge lecture on identity theft after aunt sadie explained the dildo comment. *rolls eyes* like i'm gonna use aunt sadie's celly to do something evil—yeah right!

zoegirl:

except you did. you used her celly to

zoegirl:

omg … that's it!

SnowAngel:

i could maybe pretend to be aunt sadie and order a pizza, but i'd still have to come up with the cash to pay for it, you know? i'm thinking emma-dilemma needs to take a chill pill.

zoegirl:

no, about jana! that's totally how to make it work!

SnowAngel:

by ordering a pizza on aunt sadie's cell?

zoegirl:

got to go. i have to catch maddie and tell her the movie's off—she needs to go to vincent's party instead.

SnowAngel:

the movie's off? why????

zoegirl:

um, because i'm seizing the moment, and it's all due to brilliant you!

zoegirl:

i'll call you after i kidnap Boo Boo Bear!!!

zoegirl:

are you at vincent's yet? are you, are you, are you?

mad maddie:

zo! be a little more obvious, will ya?

zoegirl:

well that's why i'm texting! duh!

zoegirl:

do you have terri's cell???

mad maddie:

no, but just saw her put it down on pool table. about to make my move.

zoegirl:

remember, keep the message you send short and sweet. something like, “jana, this is your biyatch here. i'm prepared to grovel.”

mad maddie:

ok, uh, zo? on a scale of 1 to not-cool, that is SO not cool. “biyatch”???

zoegirl:

fine, just make it sound like terri

zoegirl:

tell her to go to the buckhead barnes & noble. say that you'll be INSIDE. inside, got it? so that jana has to physically get out of her car.

mad maddie:

I WILL

zoegirl:

and afterward, be sure to delete jana's number from terri's call list. and put her phone back right where you found it!

mad maddie:

i can't till you quit yer yammering!

zoegirl:

right. very good.

zoegirl:

call me when you have news!!!

zoegirl:

just talked to maddie—she's at vincent's right this very second! she's setting up the sting!

SnowAngel:

eeek!

zoegirl:

i'm SO nervous … and nothing's even *happened* yet!

SnowAngel:

except for the fact that you used the word “sting.” you've been watching too many episodes of “breaking bad”!

zoegirl:

this is not the time to make fun of me. i'm about to steal her most cherished possession, don't you get it?

SnowAngel:

isn't it kinda mean to trick her into thinking terri wants to make up, tho?

zoegirl:

um … well …

SnowAngel:

oh, what am i saying??? *throws conscience to the wind* trick away, you tricky girl!

zoegirl:

omigod, maddie's calling! be right back!

SnowAngel:

zoe!

SnowAngel:

can't you type AND talk?

SnowAngel:

you can't leave me hanging like this!!!!

zoegirl:

maddie texted jana from terri's phone, and jana went for it! only jana nixed barnes & noble and said to meet at a coffee house in little five points called aurora. as in *now*!!!

SnowAngel:

then go! go go go go go!

SnowAngel:

zo, where r you? why aren't you answering your phone???

mad maddie:

hey, a, got your message. what's going on?

SnowAngel:

it's been half an hour and zoe hasn't checked in. all she was gonna do was get to the coffee place, get the bear, and get out. where IS she?

mad maddie:

have you called her?

SnowAngel:

200 times, plus i sent a text. no reply.

mad maddie:

maybe she's somewhere where she can't talk

SnowAngel:

but where? and why couldn't she at least respond to my text???

mad maddie:

hmmm, good question …

SnowAngel:

listen, your job at vincent's is done, so i think you should say g-bye and come be with me. i can't handle being on my own and not knowing what's going on!

mad maddie:

you got it. see ya in 5!

SnowAngel:

zoe, plz answer! yr scaring me!!!

zoegirl:

i'm ok. don't worry.

SnowAngel:

oh thank GOD. i've been imagining all these awful scenarios, like that jana caught you and stabbed you to death with her eyeliner.

SnowAngel:

did you get the bear? did she c you?

SnowAngel:

zoe, yr not answering again!

SnowAngel:

zoeeeeee!

zoegirl:

mads, i need you to come get me. call me!

SnowAngel:

oh great, maddie. now UR not answering. it's been way longer than 5 minutes since you left vincent's … WHERE R YOU????

zoegirl:

angela—we're here. we're safe. *please* don't be mad!

SnowAngel:

don't tell me not to be mad! i AM mad!

SnowAngel:

and who's the “we”? you and Boo Boo Bear?!

zoegirl:

no, not Boo Boo Bear. maddie. she had to drive me home so i'd make curfew.

SnowAngel:

drive you home from where? why didn't you drive yourself home?

zoegirl:

hold on, maddie's saying something …

zoegirl:

she's gonna head out. she says she'll call you tomorrow. and if you calm down, i'll tell you everything.

SnowAngel:

*taps foot verrrrrrry impatiently*

zoegirl:

ok, let's see. the last time we talked was when i was leaving for the coffee house, right?

SnowAngel:

yes, and what i wanna know is how you got from there to going incommunicado. why didn't you call or text or something?!!

zoegirl:

well … because i was trapped in the back of jana's station wagon.

SnowAngel:

WHAT?!!

zoegirl:

i sent you that one message because i didn't want you flipping out, but even with the sound turned off, i didn't want to risk sending any more.

SnowAngel:

fyi, the not-flipping-out thing? totally ineffective! i was flipping out then, and i'm doubly flipping out now!

zoegirl:

you can stop. like i said, i'm fine!

SnowAngel:

how in the world did you end up in the back of jana's station wagon???

zoegirl:

i drove to that coffee house called aurora, and there was jana, just that second heading inside. i was like, “all right, zoe, GO.”

SnowAngel:

*bites nails nervously* aye-yai-yai!

zoegirl:

she had NOT locked her car, just as we expected, because who'd wanna steal anything out of that heap?

zoegirl:

well, other than me

zoegirl:

but, whatever. i got into the backseat to look for Boo Boo Bear, and i pulled the door shut behind me so that anyone in the parking lot wouldn't wonder what was going on.

SnowAngel:

oh no. oh no!

zoegirl:

except jana came back a lot sooner than i thought. i didn't even hear her until she was opening the front door.

SnowAngel:

holy shit!

SnowAngel:

i'm like totally having an insane nervous-laughter attack as i'm reading this, i want you to know. aunt sadie prolly thinks i'm possessed!

zoegirl:

so i dove under a ratty army blanket she has and covered myself up as best i could … and by the
way, i *did* find Boo Boo Bear. he smelled like spit, just like terri said.

SnowAngel:

ok, zo? soooo not interested in Boo Boo Bear. far more interested in what the hell happened next!!!

zoegirl:

well, jana cursed and slammed the car into reverse. it was obvious she was in a huge hurry, which i understood later, but right then all i could think was, “oh CRAP.”

SnowAngel:

keep telling! keep telling!

zoegirl:

she drove down peachtree and turned left on some side street, and the whole time she was muttering “that bitch” over and over. i thought she was talking about maddie. i was like, “yikes, she found out maddie set her up, and now she's going to hunt her down.”

zoegirl:

but it *wasn't* maddie she was talking about. it was her stepmom.

SnowAngel:

???

zoegirl:

have you ever seen the liquor store that's a couple stores down from aurora?

SnowAngel:

no

zoegirl:

turns out that's where that guy works, the guy jana's stepmom is having an affair with. and what i've pieced together, now that it's all over, is that jana must have spotted him from inside the coffee house. maybe he was getting off work, maybe that's why jana picked aurora in the first place, maybe she's been trying to catch him with her stepmom for a while.

SnowAngel:

and did she?

zoegirl:

uh huh. jana's stepmom was waiting in his car—that's why jana tailed them.

SnowAngel:

you saw them with your own two eyes? jana's stepmom with the liquor store guy?

zoegirl:

she followed them to an apartment parking lot, then killed her engine. all this time i was absolutely frozen, trying not to breathe and watching as more and more frantic messages popped up from you.

zoegirl:

finally jana said “f***” under her breath and got out of the car. i waited a few seconds, then peered over the seat and saw her striding to the guy's truck.

SnowAngel:

omg

zoegirl:

she yanked open the passenger side door, and her stepmom and the liquor store guy jerked up like deer in headlights. and … well … there was pretty much no question what they'd been doing.

SnowAngel:

oh my GOD

zoegirl:

and then it was awful, because jana was yelling and her stepmom was yelling and the liquor store guy was holding his hands out and going, “whoa, whoa, whoa!”

SnowAngel:

geez louise, this is like a jerry springer episode

SnowAngel:

can you imagine something like this happening to one of us?

SnowAngel:

i mean, seriously. can you imagine one of our moms having an affair with some random liquor store guy?

zoegirl:

i can't. it made me feel very … lucky.

zoegirl:

it also made me feel like i better get the hell out of there. i tried, i almost made it, but then liquor store guy's truck roared off and jana screamed “f*** you” at the taillights. then she stormed back and kicked her tire. she was literally shaking, angela.

SnowAngel:

oh man. and then …?

zoegirl:

and then she saw me. i was crouched by the car and wearing the world's most shell-shocked expression, i'm sure.

zoegirl:

it was one of those out-of-body experiences where we were both like, “oh shit,” and at the same time, “is this real? is this really and truly happening?”

SnowAngel:

of all the ppl in the world to be stuck with in that situation …

zoegirl:

i know! and with Boo Boo Bear watching it all!

zoegirl:

it was a crazy stretched-out moment, and neither of us knew what to do. then time snapped back to normal and jana lunged for me and i tripped on a beer bottle and fell on my butt. i was like, “wait! i can explain!”

SnowAngel:

yeah sure. “i can explain why i was hiding in your car when you caught your stepmonster doing it with the liquor store guy.”

SnowAngel:

that's gonna go over real well!

zoegirl:

i was so far gone, i didn't care. i mean, i *cared*, i didn't want to be the horrible and-then-she-killed-her-fellow-student ending of the jerry springer show. but i also knew i was screwed no matter how i played it.

SnowAngel:

so what did you say???

zoegirl:

i told her the truth—that i was trying to get her back for everything she did to us. she was like, “the shit you were.” so i explained about the kidnapping plot, which didn't come out making the slightest bit of sense, and in fact the whole convo seemed out-of-place and wrong.

SnowAngel:

if she hadn't slept with logan and done all that other stuff, you wouldn't have been there. it's her own fault.

zoegirl:

i brought that up, actually. and angela, you're not gonna like this next part.

SnowAngel:

what?

zoegirl:

i came to the part about the dead bird, and she was like, “what dead bird?”

zoegirl:

“the dead bird you put in angela's jeep,” i said. “if you hadn't done that, the whole revenge thing would have been over. we would have let it go. but you did, which is why angela mailed you the baby chicks. which led to that comment you made about angela not putting out, which led to the fake health service letter, which led to you proving you're a slut by sleeping with angela's boyfriend.”

SnowAngel:

damn. you go, girl!

SnowAngel:

what did jana say to that?

zoegirl:

she said, “you're f***ing pathetic, all three of you. i never put a dead bird in angela's jeep.”

SnowAngel:

what?! she's such a liar!

zoegirl:

she didn't deny any of the rest of it, just that.

SnowAngel:

but …

SnowAngel:

if she didn't put the dead bird in there, then …

SnowAngel:

ohhhh *turns very tiny*

zoegirl:

maddie was in hysterics when i told her this part, just so you know

SnowAngel:

oh yeah, i bet she was. *crawls into hole*

zoegirl:

you left the window down. the bird must have flown in and rammed into the dashboard. then it died.

SnowAngel:

jana had nothing to do with it?

zoegirl:

jana had nothing to do with it.

SnowAngel:

*slinks away … then turns around and comes back*

SnowAngel:

jana's still evil

zoegirl:

yep, she is

SnowAngel:

she still slept with logan!

zoegirl:

she did, it's true.

SnowAngel:

r you sorry you went after her?

zoegirl:

it didn't end the way i thought it would, that's for sure. but it *did* end, i think.

zoegirl:

i saw her stepmother cheating on her dad. it made kidnapping Boo Boo Bear seem pretty meaningless.

SnowAngel:

so what was the final scene b/w you? what happened after the dead bird remark?

zoegirl:

jana looked at me like i was dirt, and then she got in her car and left. and then i called maddie … and you know the rest.

SnowAngel:

yr not dirt, zoe

zoegirl:

i know, neither are you. but i *am* completely worn out. i'm like a thumb-typing zombie.

zoegirl:

we'll talk more in the morning, okay?

SnowAngel:

you better believe it. we'll be rehashing this for days and months and years!

SnowAngel:

i love you, zo! YR MY HERO!!!