“C
OME AGAIN, RONNIE?”
“All the rest of your people are captured.” 2.0 sounded as freaked out as he and Abigail both looked. “They're in one of the ships above us.”
“Chuck said we need to run and hide, Kitty.” Abigail matched 2.0's terror. “He said to tell you that we're up against people who are like Thanagarians. Complete with the attitudes.”
“Oh. That's not good.” Looked around. We could run down, but the katyhopper Matriarchs were up here, and I wasn't going to allow them to be destroyed. “Follow me!”
I ran toward the katyhoppers, everyone else running after me. Reached them pretty quickly, and I'd been right, they were the multicolored Matriarchs. Heard Reader explaining who they were to those we'd found in the castle. Unsurprisingly, 2.0 and The Clarence Clone had no idea what the katyhoppers were.
“We're under attack,” I said without a lot of preamble. “We all need to get off the top of the mountain.”
The Matriarchs all waved their antennae calmly. They knew what was coming, better than I did. And they were not leaving, thank you very much. Because they felt I'd need them. Well, nice to have more backup.
“What are Thanagarians?” Abigail asked. “Chuck didn't give us a picture, he knocked us out of his mind fast.”
“That might mean the Thanagarians have mind-reading capabilities or similar.” Fantastic. That meant the Matriarchs weren't going to have the edge. “And Thanagarians are hawk people. Like Hawkgirl and Hawkman.”
“And that means absolutely nothing to me,” 2.0 said. Could tell Fancy felt the same, and the princesses probably didn't have a full grasp, either.
“They are comic book characters,” Rahmi said, proving me totally wrong.
“Humanoids with wings, so very birdlike humanoids,” Rhee added, showing that both of them had been boning up on things I cared about.
“In the comics the Thanagarians are warlike,” Reader said. “So that certainly fits.”
“And that means those who captured the other Gods are not the same as those who saved Lecanora from the castle,” Fancy concluded. “How do we fight these Thanagarians?”
“Having Superman around helps.” But they'd captured Superman, in the form of Jeff. And Batman and the Flash, aka Chuckie and Christopher, too. Plus all our other potential Justice League and Avengers stand-ins.
Sure, I'd been Wonder Woman in Bizarro World, but here I was Wolverine With Boobs. Normally that was enough, but right now, wished I had Wolverine's adamantium claws, because I wasn't sure if my skills were going to be up to the task.
“We have Megalomaniac Girl with us.” Reader flashed me the cover boy grin. “That's usually all we need.”
“You're a liar, but I love you for it, James.” Before I could say anything else, Fancy gasped and pointed up.
Sure enough, the hull of one of the ships opened up and bird people flew out. They weren't as human as Hawkgirl or Hawkman. They were humanoid, and they had giant wings, but Hawkgirl and her comics compatriots had human faces and bodies and they wore raptor masks as their helmets and such, along with attractive, skimpy outfits to show off impressive abs and other muscles.
These didn't look or dress that way. Though they had the same giant wings as Hawkgirl, their heads were bird heads, complete with beaks and eyes that indicated they were not now, nor would they ever be, mammals. Their arms were muscular, but ended in bird claws, not hands, and while they weren't wearing clothing on their upper bodies, it was impossible to tell if they were ripped or not, because they were covered with feathers.
Their lower bodies were far more humanoid. Unlike the tight track pants that Hawkgirl favored, they were all in what looked a lot like Roman togas or tunics, but only the skirt part, which went down to mid-thigh on all of them. Their legs had no feathers, but appeared to be covered in down. Their feet were a combo of human feet and bird claws that any number of horror movie makeup artists would love to imitate.
The only guess I had for which were males and females was sizeâthe females might have had breasts, but since they all appeared to be quite muscular, the feathers did a good job of hiding gender. Took a wild one and figured the smaller and slighter ones were the females.
Even though they appeared to be weapons all on their own, they were carrying weapons as well. Completing the Hawkgirl comparisons, most of them were carrying maces or flails. On the plus side, I saw no projectile weapons, but then again, their ships had those in spades.
As they flew nearer, Ginger backed up against me, growling and hissing, and Wilbur shoved next to me, growling and snarling. Clearly they weren't fans of the hawk people.
“Stay with Kitty,” I said quietly. “Kitty doesn't want Ginger or Wilbur attacking or getting hurt.”
Considered calling for the Poofs, but diplomacy should be tried first. Not that I was going to try it for long, but I knew without asking that the attempt had to be made.
Some of the hawk people landed. The rest stayed in the air, wings flapping lazily. Now that they were closer, noted that each one of them wore a circlet with a shiny jewel that sat right over their foreheads, as if it was a third eye.
One who I felt was a male stepped forward. “You will surrender.”
“Or what?”
He blinked at me. One of those very birdlike blinks. Other than the Peregrinesâand Bellie the parrot, on rare occasionâI wasn't much of a girl for birds. This group wasn't doing anything to change my mind. “We claim this world in the name of Beta Sixteen.”
“Nice to see you've joined the solar community with gusto. This world already belongs to the people of Beta Eight, sorry.”
“We have destroyed their king,” the spokesbird said. “Therefore, we now rule this planet.”
“Not how this works. But let's be polite. I'd like to know what you call yourselves, as a race, I mean.”
“Why would that matter?”
“To me? Honestly it doesn't matter all that much. I'm going to call you Hawkpeople no matter what. Well, I might call you Thanagarians, too. It'll depend on my mood and if we are ever, at any time, friends. However, if you'd like the others to use your preferred designations of choice, I'd spit it out right now.”
A smaller specimen, so probably a female, stepped up. “We are the Rapacians. And we demand your complete surrender.” She sounded female. Sort of. Their voices had a cawing tone to them, as if they were about to screech or squawk, not talk. Maybe they did screech or squawk and the universal translator turned it into something we could understand. Decided now wasn't the time to care.
“Or, I ask again, what?”
“Or we will destroy you,” the male said.
“Okay, good to know. Why is it that you think you have the right to destroy this planet and all the people on it?”
They stared at me, big bird eyes unblinking. “Because we want it,” the female said finally.
“Doesn't everyone else want it, too?”
They nodded. “But we are here first,” the male said.
“Oh, the old âI saw her first' rule. Yeah, I can confirm that that one doesn't really hold up over time, here or in a court of law.”
“Why not?” the female asked.
“Because we were here first. And I say that the people who live on the planet get to keep it, because it's theirs, and they were really here first.”
“We have captured your people,” the male said derisively. “Easily.”
“Using subterfuge, sure. Not in a straight-out fight.”
“Are you suggesting we fight?” the female asked. Was pretty sure she was trying to sound cagey. She didn't do it well.
“Oh, no, not at all, at least, not at this precise time. But why use a dead body as a trap? Just curious and all.”
“We are no friends to those from Beta Twelve,” the female said haughtily. “They have lost the Way and want harmony. We have not lost the Way and we want domination.”
“Huh, interesting, especially for people who didn't have space travel until those nice other planets gave it to them.”
“They have shown that they are not strong,” the male said. “Therefore, we no longer will follow their rule.”
Interesting. Apparently they were mistaking kindness for weakness. At least, I hoped. But we needed information and I also needed to come up with some kind of plan for what to do. Meaning it was back to my most favorite go-to moveâkeep 'em talking.
“We tend to like to know the names of the people we're talking to, by the way. One of my names is Kitty. What are your names?”
They were quiet again.
“Sorry, but was that a hard question?” Reader asked. “Because if you're so primitive that you don't have names for each other, I don't see how you can hope to claim another planet. I don't see how you can keep your own, frankly. One of my names is James, by the way. I mention it because we're not primitives.”
That worked. “I am Otari,” the guy I was going to call Hawkman said. “And this is Kares,” he indicated the female, aka Hawkgirl. “I am the leader of our forces involved in this battle, and she is my second in command.”
Nice to know I'd guessed genders right.
“What are those with you?” Kares pointed to the katyhoppers. Which had to be her being cagey again, because I knew they had Saffron, Pinky, and Turkey up there along with King Benny and Zanell, as well as the five strautruch. And all my people. Wondered if they had my daughter, too. Decided getting really, seriously pissed was probably in my best interests, so assumed they did.
“The actual highest sentient lifeform on this planet. And they don't want to let you destroy their home or their people, either. Oh, and I don't think you've destroyed the king as much as you think you have.”
Otari glared at me. At least it looked like a glare. Wasn't sure, but probably best to assume glaring unless or until this was proven to be his Pleasant Expression Face. “We understand we have captured the Gods of this planet. That makes the planet ours.”
“Oh, you haven't captured all of the Gods, not by a long shot.”
Kares sniffed, which I wouldn't have thought possible with a beak for a nose and mouth, but she proved me wrong. “Your Gods are weak.”
“What did you do to those you captured?” Abigail asked softly. Was pretty damn sure she was getting seriously pissed, too.
“Subdued them. Easily.” Otari was big into giving us the impression that the rest of our team had just rolled over and played Throwing the Fight. I didn't buy it. But I knew he had them, because Chuckie had told Abigail and 2.0 to run.
But we hadn't run. And Chuckie knew Abigail was with me, and he'd point-blank told her to pass along information to me. Chuckie also knew exactly what I would do when he suggested I run away while he and Jeff and the others were in danger. And he'd shoved the two of them out of his mind fast, faster than you'd think he would if he wanted to pass along warnings and information. If all we had to do was run, then why lose the mind link?
The only reason to lose said link was because someone else had been in Chuckie's mind and the only reason to shove our people out of his mind was to protect all of usâor to ensure that neither Abigail nor 2.0 gave away the fact that we weren't going to play dead. He'd also passed along a clue for me.
So the Rapacians had some form of mind reading going on. Meaning also that the Matriarchs were probably up here to block our thoughts from the Rapacians. At least I sincerely hoped so. Especially because Otari and Kares were really ugly and their mothers dressed them funny.
No reactions from the Rapacians, though I saw a couple of the Matriarchs wave their antennae in a way I knew meant they were laughing. Good, our side was working together. Time to take it to the next level.
Pity I didn't have any idea what that was going to be.
Heard gasps from the princesses. They sounded overly loud and kind of fake. But everyone turned to see where they were looking. So that worked. Rahmi and Rhee had really learned a lot while they were on Earth.
“Oh, wow. Ronnie, well done, dude. Yo, Otari and Kares? Some of our cavalry has arrived.”
A giant swarm of snakipedes were heading our way.
I
'D NEVER THOUGHT
I'd be happy to see a snakipede again, let alone a host of them, but I was wrong.
“What are those?” Otari asked, voice shaking just a tiny bit.
“Those are what we Gods call our Special Pets who love to eat chicken. Everyone else calls them the Horrors. We've found that to be a really fitting name for them.”
“What is chicken?” Kares asked. Her voice wasn't shaking, but she didn't sound all that confident, either.
“A tasty bird we eat on our planet.” They turned and looked at me. “Yeah, where I come from you're dinner. Let that settle in your minds for a second or two.”
“Our ships will blast those creatures before they can reach us,” Otari said, managing to sound in charge again.
“Yeah? Maybe. They're pretty tough. And they're also coming right for you. Meaning that your ships are going to have to shoot right at you. Oh, and they're not going to attack any of us.” I sincerely hoped. “They're here because we asked them to come.” Well, 2.0 had done so, and right now he was part of the Royal God We.
The snakipedes were above the Rapacian ship that was still firing at the castle. Right above it, as in they were flying up while still remaining above the ship, which meant that the two other Rapacian ships were at great risk of hitting their own ship if they fired on the snakipedes. Clearly they'd realized this, because they were not firing. The only ship shooting was shooting at an empty castle.
There was something really stupid about them doing that, because they'd already turned the place to rubble, I was sure. Wondered if one of the katyhoppers onboard was affecting the Rapacian minds. Sincerely hoped so.
“So, I guess you all had better get going and engage the enemy. And all that. We'll wait here and see how you do with it.”
“We are not done with you,” Otari snapped. Very literally, with his beak. Got the distinct impression he didn't like me. Found the will to go on somehow. Then he cawed an order, and this time it was a real caw. Couldn't really understand it, but it was clear the Rapacians were going to engage.
Which they did. It might have been impressive, but their maces and flails weren't charged like Hawkgirl's was. They were just nasty weapons, but not magical nasty weapons. And from personal experience, the snakipedes were damned tough to kill.
They were also hungry, a fact proven as a couple of them grabbed Rapacians out of the air and ate them. There were a lot of bird screams, and more Rapacians poured out of the two ships above us. In less than a minute the air was thick with wings and battle. Couldn't tell who was going to win, but now was definitely the time for my team to take some action.
Decided I'd been working cluelessly for a while. Not as in having no idea what was going onâthat was kind of standard operating procedure these days. But as in not having any audio hints from Algar. Plus I was about to go into battle, and I always preferred to do so with my own soundtrack. Dug my iPod out of my purse and put my earbuds in. It was time to rock and roll.
“Is now really the time for tunes, girlfriend?”
“James, you wound me. Is there ever
not
a time for tunes?”
“As I think of it, particularly in respect to you, no. Go for it. What's our plan, aside from congratulating Ronaldo here on some really quick thinking?”
“It seemed like the obvious move,” 2.0 said. “I think the Rapacians have mind-reading abilities, by the way, though they don't appear to be reading us.”
“I agree. And they're not reading us because of our good friends here.” Indicated the Matriarchs as I hit play to hear “Fly” by Sugar Ray. Nice to know that I was on the same wavelength as Algar. “Ladies, I have a request. May we ride on your backs in order to get into one or both of those Rapacian spaceships?”
The Matriarchs waved antennae to indicate they were wondering if we'd ever ask.
“Mount up, gang. Please be aware that these are some of the most important beings on this planet, so let's not kick or grab and such if at all possible. Rahmi, you're probably the strongestâcan you carry Wilbur?”
She nodded. “I should be able to wield my staff even with the pig-dog along.”
“He's a chocho on this world, but I can't argue with your description. Rhee, you able to take Ginger?”
She nodded. “But the cat does not want to leave you, Kitty. And the chocho does not, either.”
“Ginger's an ocellar here, and I don't want the animals to leave me, either. I really don't want to drop either one of them, though. Besides, I plan on having you two lead the charge, meaning that Ginger and Wilbur will be on the front lines.”
Both animals perked up and trotted to their assigned princess. The princesses got onto their Matriarchs and Reader handed Wilbur up to Rahmi while Ginger leaped gracefully onto Rhee's Matriarch's back. The rest of us mounted up as well.
The Clarence Clone was really excited, but 2.0 looked apprehensive. “Are you sure it's going to be safe?”
“Safer than standing around waiting for our enemies to attack us,” Abigail pointed out.
“Ronnie, you're not saying you're scared, are you?”
“I'm scared as hell, actually, Kitty. But I think I'm better off sticking with all of you than going it alone, so, fine, fine, I'm set. Please don't drop me,” he said to his Matriarch. Who waved her antennae.
“She's laughing at you, Ronnie. You're safe on the Katyhopper Express, okay?”
“Enough stalling,” Reader called. “The rest of us are ready. I'd mention that I'm the Head of Field, babe, but I think I learned first that you never follow orders or the chain of command.”
“Just proves you're always on top of things, James. Now, everyone, let's go get our people and teach these nasty neighbors how we handle a property dispute in this part the 'hood.”